Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
GENEVIEVE
The document blurs on my computer screen, the letters swirling in front of me. I blink a few times, trying to refocus, but it’s no use. Instead of working on a proposal for a new class aimed at teaching older adults computer skills, I keep replaying my conversation with Claire.
As crazy as it may sound on the surface, trying to conceive naturally first has some merit. But can I ask someone to get me pregnant, then give up all rights to their child? Maybe I should just suck it up and fork over the money for donor sperm instead. It would be less complicated, even if infinitely more expensive with less than stellar results.
God, I hate this. Why does this have to be so difficult? And expensive? I bet if men were the ones who could get pregnant, there wouldn’t be this many barriers. At the very least, it would be infinitely more affordable.
A soft knock startles me, and I snap my head up as Finn steps in, holding two paper cups.
“Coffee delivery,” he announces, closing the door with his foot.
He looks so casual in a pair of cargo shorts and a black t-shirt that clings to his chest and biceps, displaying his muscular physique. He wears the same smile that usually puts me at ease.
Except today.
Right now, the sight of him only reminds me of my conversation with Claire, causing my pulse to race for a reason I don’t want to begin to examine, especially after her suggestion that I add his name to the list.
At the reminder, I suck in a quick breath, remembering the list is currently in plain view on the corner of my desk. I try to grab it without drawing his attention, but Finn’s sharp eyes catch me before I can.
“What’s that?” He quirks an eyebrow, setting my coffee down on my desk and sitting across from me.
“Nothing,” I say quickly.
Too quickly.
He tilts his head, his mouth quirking into a half-smile that says he doesn’t believe me.
“If it’s nothing, why are you acting like you just got caught stealing office supplies?” He takes a sip of coffee.
I glance at the paper in my hand, then back at him, hesitating. There’s no point in keeping this from him. It’s not like I’ll be able to hide my pregnancy. I wouldn’t want to anyway. He’s my best friend. I’ll need his support.
“It’s a list,” I finally announce.
“Of?”
“Potential candidates.”
His brow furrows. “Candidates for what?”
“For their DNA.”
“Their…DNA?”
“I want to have a baby. With the cost of both IUI and IVF being what they are, I’m toying with the idea of trying to get pregnant naturally first.”
He spits out his coffee, his eyes widening as he stares at me like I’ve sprouted another head. “You mean…sex?”
My pulse kicks up in response to hearing him say that word in his deep voice. It shouldn’t affect me like it does, but it makes me wonder what his bedroom voice might sound like. What kind of depraved fantasies he’d whisper in my ear.
I quickly push down the thought, hoping he can’t pick up on the fact that my skin is on fire. Finn’s never shown a modicum of interest in me. I’m perfectly okay with that. His friendship is too important to me.
Hell, after my divorce, his friendship is everything to me.
“That’s usually how these things work.” I set the list back on my desk and tuck a loose strand of dark hair behind my ear, looking anywhere but directly into Finn’s blue eyes. “Considering I’m in my thirties and divorced, I don’t have time to wait around for Mr. Right before my chances of conceiving drastically reduce. Honestly, I’m not even interested in a relationship. I don’t need a husband to have a baby. I just need some decent sperm.”
“That’s all you want? To get knocked up and for the guy to disappear?”
“Exactly. I could try IUI, but I have a pretty high deductible on my insurance. Even if I didn’t, they’ll only cover the procedure, not the sperm. Plus, the chances of conception aren’t much better than trying naturally, so Claire suggested trying that first to save some money.”
“How much money are we talking about?” He rests his leg on his opposite thigh, genuinely curious.
“A single vial of sperm costs about two grand, and they recommend buying three once you find a donor you prefer.”
Finn coughs on his coffee yet again. “Two grand for sperm?” He looks into the distance. “Maybe I should look into donating. Getting paid for jerking off? Sounds like a win-win to me.”
He flashes me a charismatic smile before shifting his gaze to the paper on my desk.
“Are these guys aware they’re in the running?”
“No. And they’re not ‘in the running.’ We were just…brainstorming possibilities.”
“May I?” He nods at the sheet of paper.
I hesitate, not immediately handing it over, but eventually do, the seconds seeming to stretch as he rakes his gaze down it.
“You really think Mitchell Brighton would make a good dad? He likes pineapple on his pizza.”
I roll my eyes, yanking the paper from him. “That’s not exactly an inherited trait. Plus, I’m not looking for someone who will be a good dad. In fact, I’m looking for someone who doesn’t want the responsibility. Mitchell is notoriously anti-relationship.”
Finn snatches the list back from me. “Thomas Hubert? Seriously?”
“He’s a good guy. An investment banker so he’s smart.”
“I’m pretty sure he irons his jeans. I’ve never seen a single wrinkle on his clothes. Or his face. He probably shaves five times a day.”
I shake my head, although he has a point. Thomas is always extremely put together. I like order in my life, but Thomas seems to take it to the extreme.
“What about Murphy? He’s on the list. You two are close.”
Finn’s jaw tightens for a second before he covers it with a smirk. “Other than the fact that if he did something to upset you I’d have to kill him, the guy spent last summer posting videos of himself doing viral dances. Is that really the legacy you want to pass on to your child?”
“Dancing isn’t a genetic trait, either,” I counter.
“You haven’t seen him dance. If I were you, I wouldn’t take the risk.”
I push out an exasperated sigh. “Why do I get the feeling you’ll find something wrong with everyone on this list?”
“Because no one’s good enough for you, Genevieve,” he says in a soft voice, his light tone shifting to one of sincerity. “Nothing you do or say will ever convince me otherwise.”
I part my lips to respond, but no words come. Instead, as our eyes meet and I see the kindness within, all I can think about is Claire’s suggestion to ask Finn. That if there’s anyone I can trust with this, it’s the man sitting across from me.
“But in all seriousness,” he says, clearing his throat. “I know how much you’ve always wanted a child. If this is what you need to make that happen, I support you.” He reaches across the desk and covers my hand with his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”
I give him a tight smile. “Thanks, Finn.”
He holds my gaze for several more moments before pulling away and sipping on his coffee. “Oh, before I forget. I picked up a shift for Murphy on Wednesday. Do you mind swinging by to check on Duke and feed him?”
“Of course.” I give him a smile, grateful for the change in conversation. “You know how much I love your dog.”
“You’re the best.” He winks, then tells me about some call they had over the weekend, the shock of my plan to get knocked up now long forgotten.
At least by Finn.
But as I try to focus on what he’s saying, my brain is consumed with the idea of what my baby would look like with his DNA.