CHAPTER 12
SIERRA
Three distinct voices echoed through the walls as I made my way to the living room from my afternoon nap, which was more like daylight sleeping at this point.
Ever since Matty got me the PC, I had been holed up in my room, grinding like my life depended on it.
Every single night.
It had tournament-level mechanics that felt so smooth, like satin gliding off my fingers. And I couldn’t get enough of it.
Then I’d go make Matty his coffee and breakfast. An act that brought a certain gleam to his eyes. It made my heart happy when I finally did go to bed.
My brows furrowed when I came to the sight of Matty, standing by the windows with a flicker of a smile dancing on his lips while he peered at a girl, a few inches shorter than him with luscious blond hair cascading down her waist.
My stomach burned like a coil flame.
This was the closest to a smile that I’d seen on his pretty face.
And it was for someone else.
A girl.
I willed my feet forward, and as if sensing my presence, Matty looked up. I didn’t know if I was imagining things, but the flicker of his smile softened when his gaze bore down on me.
“Sierra,” he called out, his voice holding the same gruff tone. “Come here. Meet my sister.”
His sister?
My spine jerked when the blonde snapped her attention toward me.
A slow smile spread across her beautiful lips, and her eyes, the same shade as her brother’s, gleamed under the bright sun seeping through the window.
“Hi,” I mumbled, stepping forward as I straightened my hair. I hoped Matty had given me a heads-up that she was coming in today because I was pretty sure I looked like a dork with a pimple patch on my chin. I was so used to being with the boys that I hardly cared about the way I looked. They didn’t bat an eye at my messy pj’s or makeup-free face. But that was a different story when it came to new people. My mother taught me better.
Katy Evans was a vision. Even in her matching sweatpants and tight T-shirt combo, she looked gorgeous, her skin glowing and clear with full lips and bright eyes.
“Sierra.” She smiled, pulling me into a hug. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
I prayed to all gods of heaven that I didn’t smell like stale Cheetos amid her sweet rose perfume.
“Nice to meet you as well,” I said, mustering a poised tone.
“My brother tells me you need a dress for the event,” Katy said. “You free tomorrow? You would look amazing in gold. The color will make your eyes pop.” Her gaze zoned in on mine.
Upon closer inspection, the green in her eyes didn’t have the amber specks that Matty’s did.
The twins had similar features but were distinct enough to tell them apart.
“Yes,” I answered her, knotting my fingers along my hoodie. “I’m free tomorrow.”
“That’s great. I’ll pick you up at nine.”
“Sierra wakes up late,” Matty added.
Katy frowned. “Oh, is that so? Then let’s make…”
“No,” I interjected, flushing. “I can do nine.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind switching it,” Katy offered politely.
“I’m sure. I’ll be ready. Thank you so much for taking me,” I said softly.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I love shopping.” Her smile didn’t reach her eyes.
Somehow, I didn’t feel it was directed toward me. But still, I didn’t want to linger any longer.
“I’m gonna get myself some coffee.” I poked my thumb toward the kitchen and quickly darted out of there.
I heard my brother excuse himself and follow me, leaving the siblings alone.
“When is your next game?” Raphy asked, propping himself on the breakfast seat as he stole a muffin from the tray.
“Shush,” I whisper-shouted. “Keep your voice down. And it’s next week.”
He rolled his eyes, finishing off his snack while he stole another one. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to hide it from the big man? Because once he finds out, he’s deporting you straight to Iona. Although…” He grinned. “I must say he’s become partial to you, especially your cooking. Already getting on his good side, uh, sister?”
“Shut up,” I grumbled, taking a sip of the same sugary coffee I had made for Matty this morning before going back to sleep. “And yes, he can’t know. He can’t ever know.”
“Good luck,” he muttered, still grinning slyly as he walked away.
I remained in the kitchen while I finished my drink and heated myself some leftover rice from the previous night.
“Sierra,” called out a soft voice.
I jumped to see Katy standing by the threshold with a smile on her face. “I’m heading out now. I’ll see you tomorrow. It was nice meeting you.”
“You too, thanks again.” I waved, smiling as I watched her back disappear down the hallway.
Just as she left, Matty entered the kitchen, greeting me with a curt nod. “Good sleep?”
“Yes,” I mumbled, gathering my bowl from the microwave.
“You sleep a lot in the morning. Don’t you have classes?”
I froze. I’d been so involved in my gaming that I’d forgotten about the fact that I had to pretend to be a pre-med student. I couldn’t believe I let something this important slip my mind.
A tinge of burn from the bowl seeped through my palms, snapping my attention back to reality.
“Yeah… they’re mostly online,” I muttered, quickening my steps as I tried to dash out of the kitchen.
But Matty crowded my exit with his big, burly form towering over me like a bear. “You told me they were thrice a week.”
“Did I?” My eyes locked on his blue-greens peering at me with curiosity. “Oh, yeah. All the classes are recorded, so I could just view them online.”
“Is it because you have to drive there?”
“No. The campus is only twenty minutes away.”
“Do you drive?”
Did I drive? Yes, considering I did have a driver’s license. No, if you counted me driving straight into Ms. Letty’s flowerpots or Mr. Grisham’s doghouse. Thankfully, his dog, Rocky, wasn’t inside.
“Yes,” I blurted, licking my lying lips.
“I’ll get you a car you can borrow.”
“No, that’s okay. I can manage.”
“I don’t want you to miss your classes, Sierra. You came here for them, and your parents would be disappointed if you don’t attend them.”
“Wait.” My eyes widened. “You talk to Mom and Dad?”
He nodded. “Your parents text me. They worry about you both.”
Fire flared up in my chest. “You keep tabs on me?”
“I don’t keep tabs on you, Sierra.” His voice was laced with disbelief as he regarded me. “But your parents did leave you as my responsibility, so it’s my job to take care of you both and keep you safe. And also making sure you both do what you came here to do.”
A heavy fist sucker punched my throat.
Job.
It was his job. Not because he cared. I didn’t know if it was because of the way he said it or what he said, but the fire in my chest intensified, and the anger in my blood boiled.
“I’m grateful that you are taking care of us, but Raphael is your responsibility. I’m not. I appreciate you thinking of me as a full-grown woman rather than a child. I can take care of myself.”
His brow flicked. “I never doubted that.”
“But you don’t trust me.”
A thin line formed over his jaw. “I never said that. But I don’t know you well enough to trust you.”
Hurt swaddled my heart like a heavy blanket. “I see. I’m sorry to worry you,” I whispered, toning down the quiver in my voice. “I’ll make sure to get to my classes. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
A glint flashed in his eyes, almost as if he regretted his statement, but I didn’t linger.
“Sierra,” he called out.
But I strode out of the kitchen, keeping my head high as I tried hard not to let the sting in the back of my eyes win.
I thought over the past few weeks, Matty and I had grown into a comfortable place to at least trust each other. But the harsh reality said otherwise.
I was just a job to him.
A weighted responsibility on his shoulders.
One that he couldn’t shake and had to accept.
Losing my appetite, I set my now cold bowl on the table and crashed into my bed, pulling my rumpled sheets over me.
What he said shouldn’t have affected me like this, but I was disgusted with myself.
Disgusted that I couldn’t get my life in order.
People wouldn’t question my life choices if I presented them with the perfect picture of a level-headed, goal-oriented girl with concrete plans. Yet here I was, hiding my true self, trying to prove myself to the world.
It hurt—the way he viewed me.
But at the end of the day, it didn’t matter.
From here on out, I was going to keep my head down and focus on what actually mattered.
Winning the game.
“Do you know what kind of dress you want?” Katy asked, her eyes gleaming bright under the morning sun spilling through the car windows.
“Hmm, not really.” I tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I don’t really know much about fashion.”
“That’s okay, we’ll figure something out.” She flashed me a smile. “But I wouldn’t tell, though. You have a great style.”
My cheeks burned. “Thanks,” I mumbled.
Unlike my mortifying look yesterday, I tried my hardest to look presentable, donning a pair of clean blue jeans and pairing them with my cropped white T-shirt and green bomber jacket. I didn’t have my own style. I just picked whatever was more comfortable…well, except when it came to my alter ego.
For her, I carefully curated my outfit, capturing the essence of the girl I wanted to be rather than the girl I was.
Unabashedly brave.
“Thanks again for doing this,” I said, exiting the car while I followed her steps.
My skin instantly felt the burn of the sun. I hadn’t been out in a week, and my eyes fought the spots blinding my vision. Maybe Matty was right. My life was embarrassing.
“Oh, come on, you don’t have to thank me.” Katy gestured me toward the boutique, with exquisite display windows showing a spring fashion scene. “I had to pick up my dress anyway. And Lara is one of my closest friends.”
The cold air inside the store calmed my skin as I stood there awkwardly, waiting while Katy spoke animatedly to a store assistant.
It wasn’t long before they directed us toward a room filled with rows and rows of pretty, glimmering dresses. A tall woman with pin-straight copper hair and deep tan skin introduced herself as Lara, the boutique owner.
Soon, her shop assistant pulled out dresses in an array of colors, some sparkling, some lacy, and some so intricately designed that I had to take a moment to fully appreciate the beauty. The only other time I tried on dresses was for my senior prom, and they were a monstrosity of puffy lace and cheap sequins—subpar compared to this unfathomable fashion.
I tried on three dresses before I arrived at the one I liked, and somehow, it felt like it was made for me. The faint shimmering golden silk of the dress fit me like a glove, gliding over my body and hugging me in all the right places. The thin spaghetti straps curved along my shoulders to stop at a deep V, exposing the length of my spine before flowing softly over my hips and thighs.
It was beautiful.
“This is perfect,” Katy said, peering at me with her hands on her hips. “I knew gold was your color.”
It certainly was.
Not long after fitting Katy in her dress and making final alterations for mine, we left the store with Lara promising us the dresses would be delivered in a few days.
“Do you mind if we grab something to eat?” Katy asked, pulling a pair of sunglasses over her green eyes. “I’m famished, and I know a good place nearby.”
“I don’t mind,” I offered with a smile.
Katy waved to the car driver that we would be back in a few minutes before she joined me on the sidewalk.
She suggested we walk instead, stating that some exercise could help us burn some extra calories before lunch.
Although, it seemed completely unnecessary for her. The simple bodycon dress she wore immaculately fit over her lean form and she was proportional in all the required places. She tied the look together with an oversized shirt, white sneakers, and a baseball hat, making her look more chic than flashy.
If I had a figure like hers, I certainly would be chomping down a few extra Cheetos packets. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my body. I had a petite frame with decent boobs and a tiny waist, yet my hips and thighs were another story. It doesn’t matter what I ate. It added straight to them. And it didn’t help my tiny legs.
Minutes later, we were seated by the window with our food in front of us. I had a chicken sandwich and fries with a vanilla milkshake, and she had a green salad and purple-looking smoothie she claimed had antioxidants and minerals that were good for your body.
I guessed she was a health nut like her twin, although she kept sneaking sad glances at my sandwich, almost as if she wanted to say fuck it and devour my plate instead.
“Do you want to share some fries? I wouldn’t be able to finish them,” I said, gesturing toward the plate.
Her eyes widened like she wanted to say yes, but instead, she flushed, mumbling, “No.”
I nodded. Maybe she was on some kind of special diet. According to the girls on social media, those were quite popular these days. I only tried them once, then one where you were only allowed to eat sweet potatoes and apples. I lasted for a mere thirty-six hours before I went crying back to my mother, who fed me her signature hot pot while reprimanding me with choice words.
“So how do you like living with Matty?” Katy asked, sipping her drink with a slight grimace. “I know my brother can be grouchy.”
Don’t I know that?
“It’s fine. We all have our own things going, so we hardly see each other.”
It was a complete lie…unless you counted today. I avoided him this morning like a rat avoided a trap, timing my exit perfectly so I wouldn’t face him. After last night, I couldn’t bring myself to. I was too embarrassed.
“Is that so?” Her red lips tugged into a grin. “Matty told me you helped him name the label.”
Pink bloomed on my cheeks as I dropped my gaze to my sandwich. “Hmm, it wasn’t a big deal.”
“It must be. My brother never asks for help.” Her voice held heavy undertones of amusement.
I shrugged.
“I’m glad you helped. He can be a bit cold at times, but he’s a great human.”
My eyes dashed to hers. I couldn’t help but say, “I know.”
He was a great human, that much was true, but he was also a heartless human.
Thankfully, the conversation shifted to bearable topics, although evading questions about my pre-med summer classes should earn me an Olympic medal at this point.
Katy Evans was a startling surprise.
She wasn’t anything like I’d expected.
Described by the media as a badass, no-nonsense manager who wouldn’t take no for an answer, Katy was renowned in Hollywood and was part of the elite circle.
I’d expected her to be colder and more straightforward, thinking our meeting today would be awkward due to our personality gap.
But I was proved wrong.
She was down to earth, nice, and kind—radiating with warmth and soul, rather than the soulless person the media characterized her. She did have her commanding boss-girl moments when she communicated with others or answered a random phone call, but when she did, the glow in her eyes vanished.
Somehow, as if it sucked something out of her.
Somehow, as if it was a persona she put on.
And it hit a bit too close to home.
I could see it like a transparent paper held under the sun.
It was that clear.
Because it was something I put on quite often.
The cloak of the perfect daughter.
Katy Evans was hiding.
Like me, she was hiding who she truly was.
“Sorry about that.” Katy slammed her phone on the table face down. “I get a lot more calls than I like.”
“That’s okay,” I said softly. “You must be busy.”
“Very.” She sighed, leaning back. “I can’t wait for you to meet the girls. They’re going to love you.”
“The girls?” I raised a brow.
“Evy—she’s Emmie’s girlfriend and Lily, Emmie’s sister. My best friends,” she explained with a genuine smile, one that sparkled her eyes like how the light caught the huge diamond on her finger.
I knew Lily was J.J., the band’s lead singer’s sister, but I had no clue who Emmie was.
Confused, I asked. “Emmie?”
“Ah, sorry.” She chuckled, waving a hand. “That’s how we call J.J. He has too many names. His name is Emerson…”
“Jayden Jameson,” I finished her sentence. I knew much more about the band than I should. And as far as I knew, J.J. didn’t have a girlfriend. He was the notorious, all-star face of the brand—wouldn’t him having a girlfriend be in the headlines?
More confused, I asked, “He has a girlfriend?”
“Yeah. They had a falling out.” A morose glint shined her eyes. “But they recently patched things up. We all grew up together in the same town actually. But the media doesn’t know, so it’s hush-hush at the moment.”
I nodded. “Makes sense.”
“They’ll be at the event. Speaking of which…” She flipped her phone and groaned when her eyes landed on the time. “I have a meeting for it in a few.” She twisted her lips, grimacing. “Why don’t you take the car back to Matty’s? I have a full day ahead of me, and the meeting spot is only a few blocks away.”
I frowned. “You sure? I can call an Uber or something.”
“No, I’ll be perfectly fine.”
“Well.” I stood, discarding the tissue on my plate. “It was so nice to meet you, Katy. Thank you for everything.”
“Come here,” she grumbled, pulling me into a tight hug. “The next time you thank me, you’re buying me ice cream. But it was so nice meeting you as well.”
I laughed.
“Bear with my brother if he’s being an ass,” she whispered, just before letting me go. “He’s a softie on the inside. He just…doesn’t know how to show emotions.”
I gave her a shaky smile as I nodded.
As I walked back to the car, something about her parting words played on a loop inside my head.
It clawed my heart more than it should.
It clawed my heart more than I allowed.
It ticked an intense yearning in me.
A yearning that wanted to see all his emotions.
His happiness, grief, fear, anger, and sadness.
I wanted them all.
Selfishly, to myself.