CHAPTER 13
SIERRA
I lightened my footsteps as I entered the apartment, trying hard not to let my presence be known. In case I run into a big, burly bear that would hold me hostage with his unwavering eyes or his astounding presence.
Not my day, it seemed.
Because I ran straight into him, literally and figuratively.
My forehead almost cracked in half when it clashed against his hard, muscular chest, which certainly was anything but human, given the buzz that slithered open a headache.
It was definitely made of hard rock.
“Careful,” he grumbled, clutching my arms while I tried to steady my disoriented puppet legs.
My fingers pressed against the throb that was already pulsing furiously.
“Are you hurt?” A hint of concern laced his tone, and before I could say anything, two thick, calloused fingers grasped under my chin, lifting my eyes to him. “You okay?”
I swallowed, my body finally comprehending my proximity to him. An invincible shiver electrified my veins as the heat of his body poured into mine.
My eyes slowly dragged over his thick neck, his sharp chin, pursed lips, and finally, his piercing gaze that burned straight to my soul.
My breath hitched.
“You okay?” he repeated, snapping me out of my daze.
I jumped, pushing him away as I created much-needed distance between us.
Yet I wasn’t sure it was enough though, because I could still feel the burn of his eyes washing over my skin like a heated touch of the burning sun.
“You need to watch where you’re going, Sierra,” he lectured, his voice tinged with booming authority that flared rage in my blood.
“You watch where you’re going,” I countered through my teeth. “I was making my way down the hallway, and you were the one who stepped in out of nowhere.”
He frowned, nodding to my left. “I was heading to the kitchen. You walked in looking that way.” He pointed toward the living room, where his lone laptop sat by the tea table with the light still on.
“If you knew, you should’ve stepped aside. This hallway is big enough.” I widened my arms to prove the point.
“But it was already too late,” he muttered.
I knew if I stayed any longer, I would only end up digging a hole for myself. And I didn’t want that, certainly not after last night. “I’m going to my room,” I mumbled, darting around him.
“Sierra,” he called out, frustration leaking in his voice, but I was already halfway to my room.
I released the breath that I was holding as I slammed the door shut, my back sagging over it.
That was a close call.
The new plan? Avoid Matty at all costs.
Remember he didn’t trust you.
You are just another job for him.
As much as it hurt to drill it deep inside my head, it was the truth. And I needed to get over it.
You got this, Sierra.
A steady knock rumbled through the door, its vibrations trickling down my spine and almost startling me out of my bones.
Just from the strong, resonant sound, I could tell who it was.
Please, go away.
Seconds passed, and another knock, louder than the last, almost boomed a hole through the door.
Being left with no choice, I gently tugged the door open, meeting the eyes of the man who wasn’t really my favorite at the moment.
“What?” I muttered.
An uncomfortable silence passed between us. The entire time he stared at me with utmost dedication that rushed the blood to the surface of my skin.
“What?” I repeated again. Only this time, I sounded more meek than the previous brave tone I mustered.
“It wasn’t true,” he said, his eyes never leaving mine. “What I said it’s not true.”
I shook my head. “What you said? What did you say?”
“Last night…” His fingers curled into a fist, the slopes of his white-knuckled grip rising. “Last night,” he said softly. “I said I didn’t trust you, but I thought about it, and it’s not true.”
I faltered, my heart skipping a beat before thundering inside the cage that held it.
“So you trust me?” I cracked, swallowing the hard lump lodged in my throat.
“I do.” He nodded with a gentle gaze. “I wouldn’t have let you stay with me if I didn’t. I wouldn’t have let you help me pick out the label name if I didn’t, and I certainly wouldn’t have let you make me food if I didn’t.” His voice softened over the last sentence.
An arrow flew straight through my chest.
“Okay,” I said, patting myself on the back for the steady tone.
And with a curt lift of his chin, he spun around and walked out of the hallway like he didn’t just say the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to me.
With a breathy sigh, I closed the door and crashed into my bed—only this time with a flutter in my heart, unlike the heavy blanket from last night.
Here I was again. Just a few words from him and my insides were dancing like a teenager who just discovered rock music, which I technically was, but still…
He shouldn’t be allowed to have such a profound effect on me.
Harsh words and I crumbled.
Simple words and I melted.
He acted like any other decent human, but to me, it felt special.
It was special.
Because it was him.
And I just couldn’t help it.
I could feel the walls around my heart cracking, slowly but surely like an iceberg calving from the tip of a glacier. It was inevitable.
Matty was worming his way into my heart, and all I could see were blaring red sirens flashing before my eyes. A clear warning to caution tape my heart.
Because Matty Evans having a place in my heart could end terribly disastrous or terribly amazing.
And I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer to that.
MATTY
One last tug around my bowtie and I was done.
Ready for the night that commemorated a new beginning.
A dream that had been brewing in my mind for years, and now the world got a glimpse of that.
My palms smoothed over the lapels of my jacket, straightening it out before I exited my room. My sister was huddled over the couch, fiddling with her phone as I arrived in the living room. She was all dolled up in her classic Katy look of a simple red dress and red lips.
“Hey, Matty,” she mumbled, sparing me a glance before she went back to her phone again, her face pinched in a frown.
A flare of worry hiked up my gut. I just wanted to shake her and ask what was wrong, but guilt stopped me, guilt that I’d somehow let my sister down and couldn’t see it earlier. But most of all, it was the fear—fear that my sister didn’t need me anymore.
“Yo, big man, I look hella dapper, don’t I?” Raphael sauntered in with an air of cocky confidence and a winning grin.
I was so used to his behavior that I didn’t bat an eye nor did I give in by uttering a single word. I learned that Raphael clearly used bait to taunt you into his lunatic conversations that ended nowhere nor taught you anything. I wasn’t interested in his endless rambles, but his sister, on the other hand, was a different story.
Sierra could talk about floppy disks or ants roaming the ground, and I wouldn’t miss a word. I would hang onto it like it was the last thread dangling my soul from heaven.
“K, I need to do your magic and land me the role of the next James Bond. I’m going to be perfect for it,” Raphael announced with pride.
Katy paused, setting her phone aside as her baffled eyes met mine. “He’s not serious, is he?”
I shrugged.
“Yo, K.” Raphael clutched his heart dramatically. “I’m dead serious. I’m going to be so famous that they will beg to have me in their franchise.”
“Is he always like this?” Katy asked dryly. “Or was it my presence that conjured this atrocious behavior?”
“Always, sadly,” I muttered.
“Hey! I’m anything but atrocious.” Raphael flashed us an offended look.
Thankfully, we were saved by a soft voice that called out his name.
I turned, halting mid-step when I came into view of a vision that could only be described as the gilded halo lights shimmering at the gates of heaven.
The light that would pop in your head at the thought of heaven.
The one you know would give you peace and calm.
The one you could almost see but would never know if you could reach, touch, or taste.
Unattainable beauty.
Sierra glided in with a soft smile on her face, wearing a gold dress that fitted like liquid gold over her body, and her hair falling down her waist in smooth curls.
I was thinking thoughts that a fully grown man shouldn’t be thinking of a girl eight years younger than him, but I couldn’t help it.
Sierra Chan boomeranged her way inside my head over and over again no matter how far I flicked it away.
But just thoughts wouldn’t hurt or cause damage, would they?
“Oh my, you look beautiful.” Katy beamed, peering at Sierra like a proud sister
“Thanks,” Sierra muttered, her cheeks painting pink. “So do you.”
“Whew, Sis. You look like a girl,” Raphael commented, scrunching up his nose.
Sierra pinned him with her eyes. “I am a girl, you idiot.”
“Let’s get going then,” Katy said in an authoritative tone. “I arranged for all you boys to arrive at the same time.” The smile slipped from her face as she shot upright into her confident stance, switching to her boss mode.
“I just got the chills.” Raphael fake-shivered, eyeing my sister. “Are you like the evil queen or something?”
The silence in the room was so loud that I could hear Sierra’s breathing fasten by the second.
Katy shot him an icy glare that made his mouth draw shut.
“Let’s go,” My sister commanded once again, gesturing for Raphael to walk first. And he did so without complaining, and she shadowed his footsteps, like a chaperone.
My sister wasn’t one to be messed with; she was feared in the industry for a reason.
“Wow, she’s scary,” Sierra mumbled in awe. “But can I please have her? I don’t think anyone has ever put the fear of God in Raphy’s eyes other than my mother.”
“I still don’t think that would work with you brother.”
“I think you’re right,” she said, matching my steps.
I leaped forward and held the door open for her. “After you,” I mumbled.
A sick sense of satisfaction spiked my blood when her cheeks turned a deeper shade of red.
“Thanks,” she replied, stepping out.
A breath of her fresh vanilla and honeysuckle scent filtered its way into my veins, consuming my senses like a euphoric drug. She appeared a few inches taller than usual, probably from her heels underneath the train of her dress, but still came barely below my shoulders.
Something about it made me want to keep her locked in my arms and never let go.
There it was, the insistent thought crowding my head once again.
She wasn’t mine, and she never was going to be mine.
I’d go as far as to say I may consider Sierra as my friend; someone I trusted, but that was all we would ever be.
I slowed my steps to match hers while we walked down to the elevator.
My eyes creased when I noticed the elevator was already descending.
“Looks like they left us,” Sierra whispered, her finger punching the down button in rapid succession. Almost as if her repeated motions would magically summon the elevator.
“Just once would do,” I deadpanned.
“Ah, yes.” She flushed, retrieving her finger from the poor button, and fidgeted with her dress instead.
Only a second passed before her eyes found me over her thick lashes. And when she caught me watching her, the red in her cheeks intensified.
She was shy and innocent at the same time as she was fierce and fearless.
I was glad we were back to calmer dynamics unlike our previous conversation from a couple of days ago. I was known to be blunt, and straightforward, and always spoke my mind, so I thought I’d stated the obvious when I said I didn’t know her enough to trust her.
But it only took a second for regret to swallow me whole.
And the look in her eyes only made it worse.
So worse that those glimmering hazels kept me up all night while I contemplated over what I said. It only took a minute to realize my mistake.
I trusted Sierra a lot more than I should, but I did anyway even though I barely scratched the surface of knowing her.
I didn’t even trust some people I’d known for years.
And here she was, taking my world up in a storm in mere weeks.
Already climbing her way up to the top five people I prioritized in my life.
I didn’t know if it was because of the caramel mocha and green apple muffins she made every morning or how her hazel eyes captivated my soul into permanent submission.
The sound of the elevator door opening pulled me away from my thoughts.
Sierra gave me a small smile before she ambled in, and I quickly followed, pressing the button to the basement.
Just as the doors closed, the air sizzled with an undercurrent, turning it thick and heavy.
I stood sideways, leaning against the handrail, while Sierra stood rigid, her eyes laser-focused on the elevator doors.
The descent seemed forever as the car bathed in complete silence.
I adjusted the bowtie, which seemed to be strangling my neck. And it only made it harder when I kept looking at her, and something unknown flickered in my chest, intensifying by the second.
Almost as if someone lit up a burning furnace inside my rib cage but forgot to douse it.
Right at that moment, her hazel eyes dashed to mine, and time stood still.
A small swallow worked through the delicate length of her neck, her crimson cheeks turning brighter and brighter.
The feeling flooding my veins consumed me, eating me alive from the inside. It was indescribable and fervent. It was something I’d never felt before, and judging from her state, she felt the same way, too.
What was it?
I wasn’t sure if I was grateful or disappointed when the elevator finally landed on our floor. One part of me wanted to dissect that feeling like a surgeon, labeling each part of it with utmost detail, and the other wanted to sprint to the other side of it, never looking over my shoulder.
Sierra darted out of the car like her feet were on fire, and I slowly shadowed her.
The car ride to the event was uneventful with Raphael arguing with Katy, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling.
I thought only my thoughts were corrupted by Sierra Chan.
But now I was feeling weird, indescribable emotions?
If I’d thought I was in trouble before, I was in deep, dark, uncharted waters now.
Drowning.