CHAPTER 29
MATT
Sierra hadn’t stopped crying for two whole days, and it made me so furious that I wanted to go punch someone.
She was the last person on earth who should be crying like this.
She was the last person on earth who deserved what her parents put her through.
They had no right to disrespect her like that and squash her dreams like they meant nothing.
I just about wanted to shake them when they called her a disappointment.
My firecracker was anything but a disappointment. She was the warmest, softest, and kindest soul, whose intelligence and maturity amazed me. Just because she didn’t choose the career that they wanted doesn’t make her any less.
“Cheetos?” I asked as I slid in next to her. Sierra had been holed up in my room, particularly my bed, while she alternated between crying on my arms and staring at the window with forlorn eyes.
And I hadn’t left her side. I pushed away all of my work because nothing seemed important at this moment than being with her.
She gave me a small smile, but took it.
And I was glad she was eating something because she hadn’t eaten much, not even her beloved Cheetos completely.
“I don’t know what to do, Matty,” she said, picking at her Cheetos. “I feel so lost.”
I sighed, tugging her closer to me.
“I know my parents sounded mean, but they really do love me. It’s just that they don’t know how to show it. They think they’re doing what’s right for me.”
“But that still doesn’t allow them to treat you like you’re nothing, Sierra.” I tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, my fingers lingering on her soft, puffy cheeks. Those bright hazel eyes that held so much light now looked empty and red from all that crying.
And I fucking loathed it.
I always want my firecracker to be glowing and happy.
“What should I do?” She blinked at me with so much trust and vulnerability that it ached my heart.
“Why don’t you rest for a few days and get some good sleep? We’ll go see your parents and try to explain things to them. It will take a while, but they will surely come around when they see how talented you are and realize that people play this sport for a living.”
“Really?” she asked, hopeful.
“Yes, now come here.” I held her tight to my chest. “Sleep, now.”
She didn’t even have the energy to reply before she drifted away to a deep slumber, snoring softly with a furrow between her brows. Like she was even stressed in her sleep.
Sierra only got much worse after that. It felt like everything I tried to say to reassure her slipped right through her mind. She hadn’t even played a game with her team, but her finals weren’t till a couple of weeks, so she still had plenty of time.
But I worried that she wasn’t in the right headspace for anything, and I felt helpless as I watched her fade away.
The only time some glimmer returned to her eyes was when I said something sweet.
Even her brother couldn’t pull her out of her mood. Raphael was as dejected as Sierra.
Deep down, he was distraught, stuck between his parents and his sister.
“Matty,” Sierra’s soft voice pulled me away from my thoughts.
My eyes darted to her, and the look in her eyes made me still.
She sat cross-legged on the edge of the bed, wearing one of my T-shirts, twiddling with her fingers. But that wasn’t what made me still. It was the look in her eyes.
They were brimming with fear and sadness.
“What is it?”
“I think…I think I’m going to go back home.”
I nodded. “Okay, I’ll take you.”
“No, you don’t understand,” she blurted, wide-eyed. “I’m going back home. I don’t know if I’m coming back,” she said the last word so quietly that I almost didn’t hear it.
“What do you mean you’re not coming back? What about the game?”
She shook her head, averting her eyes. “Mom is right. I have no idea what I’m doing, Matty. Maybe I do need to rethink and figure things out.”
I narrowed my eyes. “So what you’re just giving up?”
“I’m not.” Her eyes danced around the room like she did when she lied.
I can’t believe the women in my life lied to me so easily.
“It’s…it’s just that I have all the time in the world to game. But right now, my family is on the brink of disowning me, and I know we have our differences but I love them, and my family is very important to me, Matty. I should go back and fix things.”
“Look at me.”
A swallow worked through her throat before her eyes slowly dragged to mine, and her fear was shining bright. “Yes,” she whispered.
She wasn’t going back to fix things. She was running away because she was terrified.
So terrified out of her mind that she was escaping back home.
“Don’t run away from your dreams, Sierra. You made it this far, so choose yourself for once. Your family just won’t abandon you like that.”
She gave me a morose smile. “But I have thought about it a lot. It’s all I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of days, and I am exhausted. I just want to go back home.”
I nodded. Sierra was in a place I couldn’t pull her out of. If she had decided that she wanted to go home, nothing I said would change her mind.
In an hour, she was all packed and ready to go.
Ready to leave me.
Raphael said he was tagging along with her and would return after a couple of weeks, and I agreed. I didn’t want her to be alone with Jen and Victoria, thinking there was no one by her side.
The entire drive to Iona was a silent affair. No one spoke a word. Not even Raphael, who had AirPods in his ears and was blasting some heavy metal music while Sierra had her head tilted to the side and was watching me the whole way. I tried to make small talk but gave up after it led nowhere.
It was almost dusk when we reached the town and I drove us straight to their apartment complex. I wanted to go up and drop her off, but Sierra said she would be fine and that I should get home before it was too late.
She clearly didn’t want me to linger any longer, so I just nodded, not saying a word.
“We’re good, right?” I asked, not being able to contain myself. The fear in her eyes made dread fill my blood. Like almost as if she was pulling away from me too, not just her dreams.
“Yes,” she mumbled. “I just need some time to figure all this out.”
I nodded, hugging her tight to me.
Her softness was crushed tight to every inch of my hardness, smelling like sweet honey and vanilla. God, I already fucking missed her. I didn’t want to be apart from her for even a minute.
But just the opposite happened when she finally did wave me goodbye with glimmering eyes before she hurried to her apartment.
And I just stood there for a moment, watching her disappearing back as emptiness flooded my heart.
I never felt emotions like this before, like the unfamiliar feelings of loss. Like, somehow someone dug a huge gaping hole inside my chest and forgot to fill it up.
Only my firecracker had the power to fill it up.
But now she was gone.
I drove my empty self back home and when I entered the apartment, all I heard was silence.
Just like how I used to like.
But not anymore.
The Chan siblings slammed into my life so loudly and unapologetically that I thought it would be the worst decision of my life. But now it was quite the opposite.
I missed them.
Both of them.
Even that loudmouthed kid
But especially her.
Her breathtaking smile, her wide hazel eyes, and her beautiful heart.
I fucking missed it all, and they hadn’t even been gone a day.