CHAPTER 2
Arms extended, palm outward, semicircular pull toward me.
Change.
Palm backward, push past the hips, and dig the keyhole with a small kick with feet pressed together.
Chin out, deep breath.
Recover with the big dolphin kick.
One with the water like a wave.
Like a butterfly.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
But I couldn’t.
My body wouldn’t allow me.
The burn in my chest increased. It felt like I was carrying dead weight through the water.
I’ve done this a million times and mastered the perfect strokes for years, but now I failed to even keep myself afloat.
I heaved my shaking body out of the water and crashed down, my cheek hitting the cold tile while my lungs searched for air.
The burn was now on fire, feeding from the oxygen hitting, burning brighter.
I couldn’t fucking breathe.
Was this how dying felt?
After long, long minutes, my ragged breaths turned to tiny whimpers. My vision cleared, and I could feel the air filling my body.
Only then did the load of what was happening to me crashed down on my head.
My art kept me alive, but swimming kept me sane.
What the fuck was I going to do without it?
Trickles and trickles of tears gathered in the corner of my eyes, but I couldn’t cry out loud. I didn’t have it in me.
I was going to die.
There was so much I wanted to do.
So much I had to see.
I didn’t know living was such a gift until I had a timeline set for me.
I promised myself not to waste another minute of my life. I’m going to live every second of the next six months exactly how I wanted.
I’m going to do this for me.
My family can’t know, not now.
I wasn’t ready.
I wanted days of normal before I left for good.
I needed that.
“OMG, Lily! These are amazing!” Riana exclaimed, eyeing my graph pad with shiny eyes. “I can’t believe you got this done in like less than a day. ”
“I hope it’s good enough this time,” I mumbled, focusing on the lines as I checked for any errors. I wanted it to be perfect when we presented it to Makima today. I can’t fail at this too.
“What? Are you kidding me? Honestly, if Mr. Jenson says something is wrong with this, he should get his eyes checked.” Riana waved an angry hand.
A chuckle broke through my lips. “You’re probably right.”
“Come on, let’s go get this meeting over with.” Riana lifted her things as she got up to her feet. “Then we celebrate.”
I nodded, a smile curving my lips as I followed her.
Our team gathered in the meeting room. Only two teams worked in this studio and both Riana and I were the interns for team A—Jenson’s team.
“Morning, Rio.” I greeted him with a side hug.
“Hey, kid.” He grinned, ruffling my hair. “Heard you had to redo the background panel.”
“Yeah.” I dropped down next to him as I huffed out a breath. “But I did it.” I slid my graph pad to him. “How does it look?”
His brows scrunched up as he peered at them before his eyes widened. “Whoa, this looks incredible.” He brought it closer to his face. “The lines and details are perfect, kid. God, I knew Makima had a good eye when she hired you. You’re going to go places.”
I smiled, but something about his last sentence tugged my heart. Where could I go when I only had six months left?
“I told you,” Riana exclaimed, setting up her stationery in order. She was obsessed with everything looking pretty and perfect. I watched as she arranged her pink-studded graph pad, her Sparkle till you make it coffee mug, a dozen glittering pencils, and a small shiny notebook in front of her.
Riana was a self-proclaimed Barbie doll who only dressed in cute frilly summer shades or bright colors. But she was the most adorable person I’ve ever met and such a sweetheart. I was so glad to have her as my intern partner.
“Wait, I wanna see too.” Noah hiked up his glasses with his index finger as he crouched behind Rio as they both looked intently at my layout. “Wow, this is great, Lily. Good job.”
Noah was Rio’s junior. They were both the main keyframe animation artists on our team.
“Thanks, Noah.” I smiled.
“Hey, fellas.” Jill, our colorist, walked in. “Girls.” She nodded, easing into the seat opposite us.
Our team handled the layout, key animation, background, and preliminary coloring, while the Japanese studio took care of the more complicated work, like compositing, effects, and editing.
“Here, take a look at this. Jenson asked our girl to redo the background.” Rio rolled his eyes while he slid the pad toward her.
“Why?” she mumbled, frowning. “I thought they looked perfect.”
“You know why. He’s a fucking ass,” Rio muttered under his breath.
Jill scoffed. “Yeah. But these are great, Lily. I thought the old one was amazing, but these are out of this world.”
“Thanks, Jill,” I said, grateful as I grabbed the pad back from her .
I loved my team. They were the sweetest and the kindest bunch of people. And the most talented too.
The murmurs around the room stopped when the doors dashed open, and a stern-faced Jenson walked in.
Fuck.
Did he ever smile? His expression didn’t change a bit as he took a seat at the front of the table.
I inhaled a heavy breath as I rose to my feet and stepped toward him.
“Good luck,” Riana mumbled.
I cleared my throat. “Mr. Jenson, the panel you asked me to rework,” I muttered, gliding my tablet to him.
I felt like I was back in school again, dealing with that one teacher who always had a problem with me.
I watched as his beady eyes dragged over the picture. “Bearable. Make sure you’re up to the level, and don’t repeat this next time if you want to stay on my team, Ms. Lily.”
“Yes, sir,” I mumbled, grabbing my pad back as I hurried back to my seat.
Right at ten, Makima entered the room. “Good morning, everyone.” Her soft voice carried through the air.
We all muttered back a reply, turning our attention to her as she settled herself in the head seat.
“I hope you’ve all had a good week and got plenty done for me.” She grinned, rubbing her hands. “Let’s start with Jenson. Update on the project, please.”
Mr. Jenson arranged all the storyboard layouts for the episode we were working on, explaining the progress to her.
Rio laid out the keyframe animation panels for her to review, mine included. “These are all the panels for the scene. What do you think? I think the characters and the background have come out well.”
Makima tucked her thick black hair streaked with pink highlights behind her ear. “Yes, these are all amazing,” she commented while they reviewed the technicalities and errors. “So far, so good. Jill, you can go ahead with the coloring and get the interns started on the in-betweens.”
“You got it.” Jill nodded, jotting down something in her notebook.
“Lily.” Makima’s warm brown eyes met mine. “Is this the background you did?” Her long, elegant fingers closed over the print of my sketch, bringing it closer to her.
I swallowed, suddenly nervous because I actually cared about what she thought of it. “Yes,” I replied.
“You really have an eye for this, Lily.” Her gaze darted to mine from the picture. “I actually want you to take over this whole scene and design the layout for it. I believe it’s a date between the main character, right?” She raised a brow.
My eyes widened. “Yes,” I mumbled, shocked. “They are out on a date to a local castle.”
“Perfect.” She clapped. “I trust that you’ll do an amazing job, Lily.”
Mr. Jenson stiffened. “But Makima, she’s just a kid, and this is a major scene and a very complicated one. If she messes it up, it’ll cause a huge problem with the studio.”
“Oh, come on, Jenson. She can do it. Everyone messes up.” Her lips curved into a warm smile. “Lily, you can directly report to me on this one. Don’t worry, I’ll help you through the whole process.”
I nodded, beaming. “Yes, Makima. Thank you so much. ”
Riana grinned, squeezing my hand. “Congratulations,” she whispered.
Makima and the others returned to their discussion, but I still couldn’t believe my ears. Designing the layout for an entire scene meant that my work could play out on screen. Not just a background and some fillers but an entire scene. With the main characters.
It was everything that I could ever dream of and more.
And it was the perfect opportunity, given the time. I have dreamed of seeing my art make it on TV ever since I was eight, although I wouldn’t be able to see it. I would at least die a happy girl knowing it could play out.
My heart leaped, my blood filling with excitement.
I can’t fucking wait for it.
“To Lily, Kanpai!” We all clinked glasses of beer, then downed our drinks. Kanpai meant cheers in Japanese. Our team would get a traditional yakiniku (Japanese grill) after each week’s meeting. Even though we were all Americans, we shared a deep passion for Japanese culture to the point that we were obsessed with it.
“Thank you, guys,” I mumbled, smiling as I took a few sips. I can’t really have alcohol anymore. I needed to follow a strict diet to maintain my strength, but I let it slide for today and enjoyed myself.
“You should’ve seen Jenson’s face when Makima said to report directly to her. It was fucking priceless.” Rio roared in laughter.
We all agreed, laughing along with him .
Riana nodded. “We’ve only been here for a couple of weeks, but I don’t know how you guys have tolerated him for so long.”
I grabbed a piece of meat from the sizzling grill, dipping it in the soy and miso broth as I brought the chopsticks to my mouth.
My taste buds burst as the meat melted into my mouth.
Fuck. It was too good.
Rio groaned, the lines in his eyes creasing. “Don’t even ask me. It’s been a nightmare. It still is.”
“I concur.” Noah raised his glass before he turned to the side and polished off the drink in a single go.
The clatter of the chopsticks hitting the bowls and the glasses clinking with each other blended with the laughter and chatter among the patrons.
The sounds resonated with my heart.
I loved this place; it was a basement Japanese grill in a tiny alley of Chinatown.
Riana grimaced at their antics. “That must’ve been so hard for you guys.” She placed a soft hand on Noah’s shoulder
Noah flushed. “But it’s much better since you’ve been here, Ri.”
Stark pink splotches marred her cheeks in an instant as she smiled shyly.
“You have my approval if you kids are going to date,” Rio declared, a sly grin tugging the corner of his lips.
“No, we’re not.” Both their ears turned red as they blurted at the same time .
Rio, Jill, and I broke out in a chuckle. It was only a matter of time before those two dated given how hard they had been crushing on each other these past few weeks.
But then, who was I to know anything about crushes? Even I had a crush for years and what did it get me except pain and hurt and rejection?
“Guys, stop,” Riana mumbled. “What’s everyone up to this weekend? I’ll go first. I have no plans tomorrow, but on Sunday, I have a spa day with my sister and mother that I can’t wait for.” She stretched out her arms over her head, sighing. “Just thinking about it makes me feel so good.”
“I’m going to spend time with the missus and our little one. She’s got a dance recital on Sunday, and Daddy’s gotta be there.” Rio flickered through his phone. “I mean, look how proud she is showing off her moves.”
Rio played a clip of his five-year-old Ema twirling around in her little tutu.
A collective sigh slipped out of all our lips.
“OMG, Rio. She’s so adorable.” I couldn’t drag my eyes off her toothless grin as she spun around proudly for the camera.
A sudden pang of odd pain hit me. I’d never thought much about having kids, but this scene reminded me that the chance of having my own kid had become highly unlikely. For some reason, my mind flashed to an image of a little girl with dirty-blond hair and familiar emerald-green eyes grinning back at me.
Fuck.
That was the last person I wanted to have kids with at the moment or at any moment of time .
“Well, I’m going to a World of Warcraft game night on Saturday.” Noah cleared his throat, bringing me back to the present. His eyes darted to Riana on his left. “Do you want to come with me, Ri?” He nervously hiked up his glasses, looking hopeful.
We all held our breaths as we watched Riana’s light blue eyes widen, and the pinks in her cheeks tint deeper. “Sure, Noah,” she mumbled shyly.
Noah’s face transformed with the biggest smile that made his eyes glimmer. “You’re going to love it, Ri.”
“Okay, okay.” Rio slammed a rowdy palm on the table while he chanted. “One more for the happy couple.” He held up his drink, grinning.
“We’re not a couple yet,” Riana muttered, though the pink in her cheeks remained.
Rio rolled his eyes. “Fine. Happy couples in making?” He raised a brow.
“Yes,” Noah declared loudly, adding his glass to the sky.
“To the happy couple in making. Kanpai.” We all clinked our glasses as we erupted in loud cheers while Riana’s face matched the color of her crimson top.
“What about you, Jill?” Rio raised a brow in question.
Jill’s cherry-red lips pursed in a sly grin. “A lady never tells.”
Rio shook his head. “I swear you’re a secret hit girl who spends the weekends torturing poor men.”
A laugh rumbled from my chest. “That’s so true. I could never guess what Jill’s up to.”
Jill was the most mysterious one in our bunch. I wouldn’t bat an eyelash if she told me she kept snakes as her pet and rode a bike to work. She was that badass .
“You, Lily? Hot date, perhaps?” Riana asked.
I shrugged. “I wish. I’m gonna catch up on some sleep and get started on the project.” How fucking boring was my life?
“Wait, that reminds me!” A gleam coated her pale blue eyes. “Did you see my post last week? One with my cousin who moved to town recently.”
“Umm, I guess so.” Riana had a huge social media following and broadcasted every second of her life, so it was hard to keep track.
“That’s my cousin Jack. He’s the architect who worked on ‘Tora’s’ gallery, and they’re launching it tomorrow,” she explained. “His date stood him up at the last minute, and he asked me for help. Please, tell me you’ll fill in instead. This is him.”
My eyes scanned over the image of a guy who looked to be in his late twenties, with perfect teeth and mousy-brown hair.
“I don’t know, Riana.” I hesitated. Going on a date with someone was the last thing on my mind.
“Please,” she pleaded, giving me doe eyes.
“Fine,” I replied. It wouldn’t hurt to help someone out, right?
“Yay!” She clapped excitedly. “I’ll send him your number. Trust me, he’s a really good guy. You don’t have to worry about anything.”
“Okay.”
I really hoped I wouldn’t regret this decision .
“Hey, Katy,” I greeted, lowering myself to the ground as I hugged her and kissed the side of her head—she smelled like sweet roses.
Katy had been my best friend ever since Matty (her twin) joined the band as a drummer when I was ten. She was a member of our family and the band’s ruthless manager.
Almost every other day, our gang now hung out in Emmie’s TV room. It was soon becoming our favorite hangout spot. It was a cozy little room that fit all of us perfectly, and we even had our own designated seats. It was all full-blown comfy couches and an elaborate TV system set in a dark wooden interior. Only the best for my brother.
“Hey, Lily. Good day?” She gave me a soft smile while she traced her fingers along my arm around her neck.
I blew out an exhale. “Exhausted.” And I was, the team dinner wrapped up later than I thought, and as much as I loved it, my body said no.
She nodded before going back to her iPad.
I sighed as I got back up to my feet.
Ever since the band took off six years ago, Katy has been a busy bee running behind those idiots.
I wasn’t sure what was going on inside her head. Lately, she seemed off. I hoped everything was alright between her and Lan, her longtime boyfriend, who was the band’s lead rhythm guitarist and pianist.
Katy was a social butterfly who was always pristine and demanded perfection, so seeing her in old sweatpants, dull eyes, and wild hair made me worry.
“Hey, Lily.” Evy engulfed me in the warmest hug as I dropped down next to her .
“Hey, E.” I hugged back the woman I considered my sister. With the way things were going between my brother and her, it could be official anytime now. Evy had my brother, Emmie, wrapped around her little finger.
Her soft brown eyes slid over to me. “Is work being too hard?”
“Nah.” I yawned into my palms. It wasn’t actually work, E. It was my body slowly trying to give up on me.
A melodic laugh broke out of her. “Here.” She tapped her thigh.
I frowned in confusion before I understood what she was saying. A smile curved my lips as I plopped my head on her lap and stretched out. God, that felt nice.
Her fingers gently worked over my scalp. “How was the team dinner?”
“Good,” I mumbled, my eyelids drooping. “I actually landed a big project, so I’m excited for that. Makima has asked me to sketch out an entire scene.”
“Congratulations,” she said softly but gave me a pointed look. “I’m sure you’ll ace it. But don’t burn yourself out. You seem worked out lately and your health is important.”
My heart stilled, but I muttered a quick okay before exhaustion overtook my body to a deep slumber.