CHAPTER 5
LILY
A slow smile played on my lips as I tied the halter of my sessun trancuso midi dress around my neck. I only bought it because the shade was called Picasso Lily, and the color was the exact shade of my eyes.
It’d been sitting in my closet for a while now, so today might as well be the perfect occasion to wear it instead of the usual black I preferred.
Jack said the place was a fancy rooftop restaurant, so why the fuck not? I wasn’t sure if I would get another chance to wear it.
It fit perfectly over my short frame, wide shoulders, and narrow waist.
I’d started my medications, and my breathing had improved a lot. I no longer felt breathless just by taking a few steps. But I knew it wasn’t going to last long. The drugs weren’t going to prevent the progression of the disease, but for now, I was taking it as a win. At least I can breathe freely. I was tempted to dip my toes in the pool, but my doctor strictly told me to refrain from it .
A sudden sense of nostalgia hit me when I smoothed the satin fabric over my waist and peered at myself in the mirror. My mind took me back to a sacred memory. The memories of the good days with him that I kept locked in a secret locket in my heart. I never forgot even a single moment I spent with him. Those were the happiest times of my life.
“Lily, you look like a little mouse in that violet dress,” he said, grinning at the purple dress that my mom got for my eleventh birthday.
His voice from all those years ago still echoed in my mind. He was the one I would always want, yet I could never have.
It didn’t matter how much I hated him now. Michael would always hold the key to the part of my heart that would always be his, and his alone.
The boy who made my heart sing when I was just eight years old, the boy I decided would one day be mine from the moment I met his emerald eyes.
But after the cold wash of reality he poured on my face that day , everything I needed to know became clear.
We were both dead to each other.
The winds of fate shifted us in different directions. And I’d made my peace with that.
I took one last look at myself in the mirror. For the first time in my life, I didn’t look like the shy girl who hid behind dark clothes. I looked like a confident, brave woman. Not at all like a woman facing her death sentence in six months.
“Lily, whoa, you look beautiful.” Jack’s eyes shone under the lobby lights of Blueline as he leaned over to place a kiss on my cheek .
“Thanks,” I mumbled, taking him in. He scrubbed up really nicely in a pressed suit with the top two buttons on his shirt undone.
My hands curled over his grasp as he led me outside. He gave me a warm smile as he held open the door of his Mercedes. I smiled gratefully as I slid inside, the smell of expensive leather hitting me instantly.
“So that is quite a nice place.” He gestured to my apartment as we drove off.
“Yeah. I was pretty lucky. Because of my brother.” I shrugged, dismissing it like it was nothing. I didn’t let anyone close to me know that my brother was a famous rock star. Even my friends at work didn’t have a clue. I learned that lesson the hard way in college. Being a part of their limelight was never my cup of tea, but something about Jack knowing didn’t faze me. I guessed it was because he seemed unbothered by it.
He nodded, and we sat in comfortable silence the entire way.
“So tell me about your week?” Jack asked as we entered the venue.
“It was good. I landed on a big project at work. Well, as big as it can be for an intern. I got to lay out an entire scene and map out the main character’s outline. Just the usual, but how was yours?”
Jack’s eyes glowed from the flickering candlelight. “Actually, your week sounds better than mine. I was stuck with a client who wanted his house to look exactly like the White House, and when I told him that wasn’t possible, he claimed to sue me for wasting his time. ”
“That’s absurd. If he wanted to live in the White House, he might as well work his way up to the top.”
He laughed. “Some people are crazy, especially when it comes to their homes. So other than being… or as you say, trying to be an artist, what else do you like to do?”
“Swimming,” I blurted out, smiling before I said softly, “Swimming. I love to swim but haven’t found the time lately.”
“Really?” His eyes widened. “I swim every morning. I was on the state team in college, but it was always a pastime. I knew I always wanted to be an architect, but I still swim to this day. I just can’t give it up.”
I should’ve known from his broad shoulders to his long arms that he had a swimmer’s body. “I know the feeling.”
He nodded, smiling. “What’s your favorite style?”
“Butterfly.”
He shook his head. “Damn, that’s the hardest. I can never butterfly for the life of me.”
A laugh spilled out of my lips. “That’s the only stroke I’m good at.”
“I tried to stay with free…” He paused, his eyes going straight to the pretty blond wearing a blue dress who had just walked in with her arm around a man.
“Is that her?” I whispered.
“Yes.” His eyes snapped to mine. “Wish me luck.”
“Good luck.” I smiled and watched as he drew in a deep breath before walking over to her confidently. Her eyes widened upon his presence as they exchanged a few words.
The entire night, Jack pretended not to care for me while he tried to think of intelligent ways to win her over. It seemed to work because, by the end of the night, she wasn’t as hostile as she was at the beginning. And I had more fun plotting and pretending with him than my usual Wednesdays of burying myself in work and sitting alone in my apartment with my ramen bowl.
“Thanks for helping me out today.” Jack gave me a half hug as we stood in my hallway later that night, right outside my door.
“Don’t mention it. I actually had fun.”
“I’m not sure if you’re in need of one, but I would love to play your pretend date anytime.”
“Actually,” I started. “If you’re free this weekend, there’s an event with the band. Everyone will be bringing someone, and I guess you could save me the awkwardness of sitting by myself.”
“Consider it done.” He smiled. “I’ll see you then, Lily. Good night.” He leaned in to kiss my cheek goodbye.
“What the fuck is going on here?” thundered a familiar voice from the end of the hallway.
I startled, jumping away from Jack as I met a pair of smoldering green eyes that held me captive.
And there went my heart, pounding like it was ready to burst out of me.
Only he was capable of doing that.
Michael Saint DeClere.
“Michael,” I whispered.
Jack’s brows pinched in a frown while his eyes volleyed between us.
Fuck, he looked furious. The vein in his forehead throbbed as the tension in the room thickened .
Hell went down when Michael raged like that. He tried so hard to keep that emotion under bay. Every single day of his life.
But still, he was the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen.
Dark green eyes. Long blond hair. Inked skin all the way up to his neck.
In three quick strides, he was in my face. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on here, Lily?”
A blush painted my cheeks in heat. But I mustered a brave face. He had no right to ask me that. “None of your business, Michael.”
“Is it now?” he gritted through his teeth.
“Umm, is there a problem?” Jack asked, and Mikey’s fuming gaze snapped to him.
Jack tilted his head, pointing a finger at him. “Hey, aren’t you the bassist from Four Foxes?”
“Yes.” Mikey narrowed his eyes. “And you are?”
“Whoa, you’re Michael DeClere. I’m Jack Mathias, nice to meet you.”
“I wouldn’t say the same,” Mikey added.
Jack’s forehead creased. “Why?”
Fuck, Jack was falling hook, line, and sinker into Mikey’s trap. What he didn’t know was that Mikey was seconds away from breaking his nose if I didn’t intervene.
I cleared my throat, stepping between them. “He’s my brother’s best friend, Jack. And you were just leaving, weren’t you?” I laughed nervously.
“Yes, her brother’s best friend.” Mikey steeled. “Does your brother know you’ve invited a man home tonight, Lily?” He cast a cold glare my way .
Jack’s eyes filled with understanding. “I was just leaving. I’ll see you later, Lily.” He smiled, waving as he walked away.
I held my breath until the elevator door pinged closed, carrying Jack away from the storming eyes that I had to face.
Mikey took another step closer to me, crashing my back against the wall.
I gasped, feeling the air fleeing my lungs as I peered into his eyes.
“Do you wanna explain to me why there was a man in front of your home, Lily?”
A sudden burst of fury boiled my blood. I slammed my hands over his chest, pushing him away, but he wouldn’t move an inch. “Like I said, it’s none of your business, Michael. I can bring whoever the fuck I want to my home. I’m not yours, am I?”
His eyes burned with anger. “I’ll make it my business.” He snatched a loose strand of hair that fell over my cheeks, twirling it between his fingers. “Then you’ll think twice before bringing another man to your bed, Lily.”
“The audacity!? How dare you? When you bring everything under the sky to fuck in your home, Michael. I thought you said I was dead to you, so who the fuck do you think you are to tell me how I live my own fucking life!” I screamed at his face. All the years of pent-up anger just burst out of me.
His eyes flashed. “I never once said you were dead to me, Lily.”
“You might as well have.” A sudden sting burned my eyes. Now I was really going to be dead to him soon. “You might as well have, Michael. It would have been a lot better than your silence. ”
He closed in, so close that I could see the speck of amber lining the greens of his eyes. “It was better that way, you know that.”
I shook my head. “I actually don’t know. Do you know what I think you are, Michael?” I stabbed a finger at his chest. “You’re a coward. Hiding behind the facade of a playful, funny guy who doesn’t give a fuck, but do you think I’m foolish enough not to know the real you, huh?”
He averted his eyes, pulling away. “You don’t know shit about me.” He stepped toward his apartment. “It’s best if we end this conversation here.”
I grabbed his hand, bringing his eyes right back to mine. “Oh no, you fucking don’t. See, like I said, a coward,” I shouted in his face, mad from all the years he spent ignoring me, brushing off our friendship like it meant nothing to him. “I know you’re fucking obsessed with me, Michael. Do you want to deny the fact that every single guitar you own is the color violet? The exact shade of my eyes. Fuck, even the car you drive is violet. And don’t even get me started on the hundreds of lilies you have tattooed on your chest. What are you going to fucking say about that?” I raged, my breathing shallow and nonexistent at this point.
His gaze flickered to mine, inhaling sharply.
A second passed as we stood there across the hallway as a silent tension cursed through our cells before he growled, “Fuck,” before crashing his lips to mine.
I gasped, wide-eyed as he stole away the air forcing its way up my lungs. I felt his breath and the warmth of his kiss all over me.
It wasn’t soft and sweet .
It was agonizing and delirious.
It was so fucking addicting.
And it was a long time coming.
Fuck, I didn’t know kissing someone could be this carnal, this potent.
That I want more and more of it.
More of him.
If kissing Michael was going to be the death of me, then I’d die happily every day for the rest of my short life.
It lasted for a second before he was off me.
“Fuck.” He cursed. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” he repeated, pulling his hair in wild directions while I watched his ragged breathing, stunned.
Michael just kissed me.
His freezing eyes darted in my direction, the look in them unreadable. It lasted all of a second before he stormed to his apartment and slammed the door closed in my face.
Dazed, I carried my feet to my apartment, still feeling his taste on my lips. My mind was still reeling over what happened. Never did it cross my mind that tonight would end up with a kiss from Michael, of all people.
The guy who used to be my best friend.
And now was the bane of my existence.