CHAPTER 33
SIX MONTHS LATER
Sakura only bloomed for seven days a year.
In Japan, it signifies the short life of a samurai, who sacrificed their life with courage and honor. But they also symbolized renewal and new beginnings, a sign of hope .
I always wondered how one thing could hold two distinct meanings.
Life and death.
It wasn’t until now that I realized that in the entirety of our lives, we all face death. Not the certain one that would rob us of our breath but the one at the point in our life we confronted that either made us shed our skin so we could escalate or keep holding on to that version of us and drown further.
Whether we realize it or not, it was a choice we all made.
It was the purpose of life.
At least, the purpose of my life.
A single day revolted my life.
And a single choice determined the breath of air I drew today.
“Morning,” Michael dropped a kiss on my cheek, sleepy-eyed. He looked so gorgeous as the morning light hit the golden highlights weaving through his hair. But then he always looked gorgeous, no matter the time of day.
“Morning,” I grumbled back, cuddling closer to his warmth, radiating on my side.
“You seem to be fantastic this morning,” he said, tracing a lone finger on the jagged vertical scar peeking out from my cami.
“Hmm,” I breathed. “Just thinking.”
Last week, I found out that I was one hundred percent tumor-free. I had recovered beyond expectation, were the exact words Dr. Karlfield told me.
Every second of the past six months was hard, but I made it.
I was still here defying all odds.
My hope never dwindled; it only grew, and now I wasn’t scared to hope. Because life wasn’t magical otherwise
Michael’s bright green eyes were the first thing I saw after the surgery. It felt surreal that I made it to the other side. I still remember Dr. Karlfield and Dr. Fredrikson telling me that the surgery was a success, and they were able to remove most of the tumor. The only thing that remained was the chemo.
It wasn’t easy, but with my family and Michael, the pain was merely an afterthought. Every day, I fought. Their support kept me going, and I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for them. Especially, Michael—my husband. I still couldn’t believe I got to call him that. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that we were married. My childhood best friend was now my husband, just like how I had pictured my future to be when I was younger.
“Earth to Lily.” Michael’s sleep-hoarse voice drew me back to the present.
“Yes, husband?” I cocked my brow, a smile pulling on my lips.
“Fuck, you don’t get to be this sexy in the morning and call me that,” he groaned, burying his face in the crook of my neck. “You’re killing me.” I could feel his hardness digging into my thighs.
I laughed, weaving my fingers through his hair. “Well, no one is stopping you.”
He gave me a hard stare. “You’re mean.”
I shrugged, hooking my leg over his hips, drawing him to me. “Like I said, no one is stopping you.”
His eyes darkened. “Don’t play, Lily.” He dragged his lips along my jawline, and my breath tightened.
A moan slipped past my lips; it’s been too fucking long since I had him.
Since Dr. Karlfield announced that any heavy cardio was a strict no till the six-month mark and that it would increase the risk of a heart attack, Michael hasn’t even touched me. And most times, I didn’t even have the strength to move. But since finishing the last round of chemo, I’ve slowly been feeling like my old self.
“Fuck, can next week be here already?” he muttered sullenly before jumping to his feet, and a chill washed over my skin. He scrubbed a hand over his face as he hovered over me. “We can’t.”
Seven more days and I get back to any activity .
I nodded, breathing hard, only this time from his presence rather than my sickness.
“Come on, let’s get some breakfast in you and continue our binge,” he suggested, holding out a hand.
I smiled, taking it.
I felt half myself after showering while Mikey went on to prep breakfast. Cooking still wasn’t my strongest suit. And I don’t think it ever would be.
A sigh slipped past my lips as I settled into my soft lilac hoodie that felt two sizes larger for my bony frame. I had lost a ton of weight from the medication, mostly due to the fact that I couldn’t stomach anything or puked everything out whenever I had the desire to eat.
I growled at the smell of butter wafting into the air as I made my way out, at least my appetite was returning.
“Hey, beautiful,” Michael commented, flipping the French toast on the pan with the precision of a well-seasoned chef. Did I also mention that he was shirtless, which made it all that much harder for me.
“Smells incredible,” I mumbled, hugging him from behind.
He flashed me a grin over his shoulder. “Why don’t you go sit on the couch? And I’ll bring these over to you.”
I nodded, planting a kiss on his shoulder. “Love you,” I whispered as I stepped back, knowing very well that I wasn’t going to get a reply.
He never did tell me he loved me, but he showed me, so I didn’t question it .
He held my hair back when I puked my guts, whispered soft words when the meds made me cranky, and held me tight when I cried from the pain.
He molded back into my life as if he’d never been gone. While his playfulness remained, the quiet, pensive version of him from our childhood returned, almost as if the past that had been haunting him all these years didn’t bother him anymore. Even his relationship with his mother smoothed over. I didn’t know how it was before, but judging from the lightness in their interactions, I could say things changed. I didn’t say it out loud, but I was so proud of him.
Yet somewhere in me hurt that he still didn’t say it, it was obvious I could see it, but I had no clue why he wouldn’t admit it.
It sometimes felt weird that we were married, and he still wouldn’t utter the words “I love you.”
“Here you go.” He handed me a plate full of steaming French toast doused in maple syrup, strawberries, and cream.
“Thank you,” I mumbled as I watched him push aside the art panels I’d been doodling on and set my mug of creamy matcha on the table.
Sometimes I didn’t know what I would do without this man.
“What’s the first thing you want to do?”
“About what?” I raised a brow, moaning as my taste buds burst with flavor.
“After the all clear, next week, duh.”
I stilled, my fork halted midair as I glanced at him. “I haven’t really thought about it. ”
He pinned me with a stare. “Humor me anyway?”
I took a second to really think, and my brain flooded with possibilities, but there was one thing I craved more than anything. “Swim,” I said with a smile. “I want to swim. I miss it so much.”
“Swim, really, little mouse?” His eyes narrowed. “I thought you would want to have hot steamy sex with your husband. We still haven’t consummated our marriage, remember?”
My cheeks blazed like they were on fire. “I guess we haven’t,” I muttered.
“So we should take care of it, right?” he asked in a smoldering tone as he leaned in, running a finger along my cheek.
“Yes, we should.” The burn in my cheeks intensified as butterflies fluttered through my stomach. “Swimming can wait.”
A second passed before a loud laugh rumbled out of him and gleeful eyes met mine. “You should see your face.”
It was only then that I realized that he was playing with me.
Embarrassment flooded my veins as I swatted him away and scooted farther back. “Jerkface,” I muttered, mustering a serious tone and terribly failing.
“Fine.” He held up his hand. “Swimming it is, then?”
“I’m not telling you,” I mumbled, switching on the TV. The last episode of the anime we were watching resumed and I focused all my attention on that.
“Oh, come on, don’t tell me you’re mad now?” he grumbled, weaving his arms around me .
A sigh left my lips as I went mushy in his arms.
“I know I’m okay but sometimes I get scared that I might get sick again,” I voiced the thought that had been flickering in my head at times. “I keep thinking of the what-ifs.”
He gave me a warm smile, tucking my hair back. “What if everything turns out to be okay anyway? What if you’re going to be completely fine for the rest of your life? What if it all works out in the end? And what if you get to live your happily ever after with your handsome husband?”
“When did you get so wise?” I asked, surprised.
He shot me an offended look. “You dare question that!?”
I laughed, shaking my head as I buried close to him. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat and the familiar sound of Japanese from the TV calmed my heart. I kept telling myself that everything was going to be okay and this time I believed it.
All the dreams and hopes I thought I’d lost were still mine.
“I guess I could do anything now, can I?”
“Yes,” he said, his voice suddenly thickened with emotion. “You can do anything.”
A genuine smile lifted up my lips. “I think I like the sound of that.”
A few weeks later.
My hand curved and cut through the water in smooth strokes, a gasp of air filled me with oxygen as I repeated the strokes over and over again in deep calm .
The rush of blood and the scream of muscles were a welcome pain.
I was one with the water again almost as if I’d never been gone.
I couldn’t contain my grin as I leaped out of the water, and hit the stop on my watch.
A thousand yards averaging at one hundred and forty heartbeats per minute.
It wasn’t close to my usual session but it made me feel on top of the world.
I wrung out the excess water from my hair and huddled a towel around me as I shot off upstairs. I was slowly getting back to cardio; I probably couldn’t do any heavy cardio ever, but I didn’t care. I was back to being the version of myself that felt most like me, only this time stronger and unfazed.
Nothing could break me anymore.
Even if things didn’t go my way, I knew I was going to be okay.
Because I had him.
It was seven thirty on the clock when I jumped out of the shower and headed to the closet. I made a mental note that I only had one hour left before my meeting.
I smiled as my eyes landed on his side of the closet, which was sparse compared to mine but something about seeing his things in my apartment or I should say, our apartment made me feel like a teenager. We moved into mine instead of his, even though it was smaller, we were used to this space, and he loved my decor compared to his plain bachelor pad .
Although married couples moving in together should be the most adult thing to do, my relationship with Michael was anything but linear, it was chaotic and all over the place. But that was what made it special.
Just as I was straightening the seams of my black jeans, I heard a knock rumble through the door.
I hurried to the door, grateful that my lungs didn’t scream for air like they used to.
“Morning, Li,” Evy greeted me with a warm smile, pulling me into a hug. She smelled like vanilla and fresh air.
“Morning, E,” I muttered, letting her in.
I watched as she breezed to the kitchen and placed the tray she held on the table. “Brought you breakfast,” she said softly. “I attempted to make you a Japanese-style breakfast. Miso soup and egg rolls with rice, I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all, E.” My heart squeezed at her gesture. My family had been adamant about feeding me and watching over my every move. They relaxed a bit after learning I was completely healed but according to them, they still weren’t taking any chances. Given my past deception, I didn’t blame them.
“Don’t tell Michael, but this might be the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth,” I moaned in delight.
“It’s good to see you eat,” she commented, sipping on her coffee. “Your brother was anal that I make sure you eat. So was your husband.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t halt the blush that bloomed on my cheeks at the mention of my husband.
The band was attending an event in LA and wouldn’t be back till late afternoon .
Evy grinned. “So how long are you going to be wearing that?” She lifted her chin toward the worn-out elastic tied firmly around my finger.
“Forever.” I held out my hand. “I know it looks ridiculous, but I love it.” But given its stage, it probably wasn’t going to last long, which made me sad.
She shook her head. “I think you guys are the first people in history to get married with a pair of mask ties.”
“Well, Michael is a bit… unpredictable.”
“That he is,” she agreed before clasping a hand over my wrist. “Even though I wished it had happened under different circumstances, I’m so happy that you two found your way back to each other.”
“Thanks,” I said, suddenly feeling embarrassed.
Minutes later, I was putting away the dishes, and Evy and I headed out. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Evy questioned as we made our way to the elevator.
“Yes.” I smiled. “Riana and Jack are picking me up.”
She nodded, waving at me. “You go first. I’ll take the stairs.”
“Okay.” I waved back. It made sense since she was only one floor up.
“Good luck.” I heard her call as the doors closed.
I wasn’t nervous but I also wasn’t feeling the greatest about the meeting. Mr. Jenson asked to meet with me at the studio this morning, and I hadn’t stepped foot there since that day. Although my relationship with Mr. Jenson changed drastically over the past months, he even came to visit me at the hospital with all my old colleagues. Underneath all that stiff facade, he was a decent man .
I only agreed to the meeting after Riana assured me that she hadn’t seen Makima for over a month, and although Mr. Jenson was tight-lipped about the nature of the meeting, I was sure it had something to do with her.
“Lily, over here.” Riana waved an excited hand as she gestured me over to her cousin’s pitch-black Mercedes.
“Hey, guys,” I called out as I huddled up in the back seat.
“Hey, Lily.” Jack’s warm gaze met mine in the mirror as he started to drive off.
I’ve become a lot closer to both of them over the months, and I was truly grateful for their support and friendship.
“I have it on good authority that Jenson is going to beg you to be back on the team, Lily.” Riana clapped her hands. “I can’t wait to have you back. Work was so boring without you.” She let out a dramatic sigh, clutching her hand over her heart.
“Is that so?” I raised a brow, smirking. “I thought you were having the time of your life with Noah.”
Her entire face turned beet red. “Well, you know we’re still new, and he is cute,” she muttered, narrowing her eyes at me. “Unlike someone who got married after dating for weeks.”
“Michael and I have known each other forever,” I mumbled, flushing.
“Whatever you say.” She laughed. “Oh, and by the way, Jack is proposing to Lola.”
“What!?” I shouted, leaning forward. “OMG, that’s so amazing. I’m so happy for you, Jack.”
“Thanks, Li.” He flashed me a smile .
“At least, I get one wedding to dress up, unlike someone who got married in a hospital without even inviting me.” She puffed out a breath, faking a glare but it only made her look adorable.
“Sorry.”
“Ah,” she groaned. “Now you’re making me feel bad. I’m just so glad you’re okay.”
Jack and I chuckled, shaking our heads at her antics.
It wasn’t long before we bid Jack goodbye and headed to the office.
I half nodded to whatever Riana was saying as we made our way to her new cabin with the rest of the team. She had been offered a junior position and was working full-time now.
Soon I was greeted by the rest of the crew and a sense of nostalgia evaded me. Oh, what would I do to be working with them again?
I took a deep breath as I made my way to Mr. Jenson’s office. I’ve only been there two other times and neither were my favorite.
“Lily, how are you?” He greeted me with a soft smile which instantly calmed my nerves. “I heard you’re doing a lot better now but still sorry to bring you in when you’re recovering.” He gestured for me to take a seat.
“That’s okay, Mr. Jenson. I’m fine now,” I said, easing down.
“So the reason I brought you in today …
“How did it go?” Riana’s hopeful eyes met mine.
Everyone in the team stopped working and shifted their attention to me upon my arrival. Noah and Jill all looked at me with the same excitement as Riana. Only Rio looked at me with a proud look on his face, because he knew.
I was in disbelief but I forced my mouth to work. “I got a job,” I said quietly before I shouted. “I got a job! As a lead character designer.”
“Congratulations,” the room burst with cheers. Excitement coursed through me at the thought of developing and creating my own version of the characters, I could finally see my art make it to TV.
“Wait, what happened to Makima?” Riana whisper-shouted so loudly that everyone heard. Thankfully, it was just our team at this end of the studio.
“Well.” I bit my lip. “I’m not supposed to say anything. But apparently, there was an internal investigation and she got fired. They are going to announce it later this week and Jenson will fill her position.”
“OMG, that’s the best news I’ve ever heard.” She jumped in glee before she froze. “Wait, who’s filling Jenson’s position? Please don’t tell me it’s someone new and they could either be a sexist or another art-stealing bitch.”
“Umm, it’s…” I hesitated.
Someone cleared their throat and all our eyes dashed to Rio. “Actually, it’s me.” He smiled.
The room erupted once again, this time in disbelief as they berated Rio for not sharing the news.
I was still reeling with excitement by the time I left the office. There was a skip to my step and lightness in my smile .
Everything does work out in the end.
If you believed and trusted, it would all be alright.
“I heard the most beautiful girl in the city was spotted out and about on Sixth Avenue.”
Butterflies fluttered around my heart at the sound of his voice. My eyes darted around the street till they landed on a pair of dark greens that held me hostage.
“Just the city?” I questioned as I rushed to him and he immediately took me in his arms and crashed his lips to mine in a heavy kiss that left me breathless, the good kind.
“Sorry, my bad.” He smoothed his hands over my ass and brought me closer. “The world. How does that sound?” he whispered, his lips brushing over my chin.
My throat bobbed and my heart skipped a beat. “Stop, we’re outside.” And just as I finished that sentence, I could feel eyes trained on us. They always start that way, followed by slow whisperers and a flurry of flashes.
“So, what? You’re my wife,” he said proudly with a grin.
Fire crackled my cheeks. “Let’s go before we cause a scene.” I grabbed his hand, pulling him to his violet GTR glittering in the sunlight.
He laughed, opening the car door for me and I bounded in. I watched as a few people crowded in and he greeted them all with a grin and waved but didn’t linger as he boarded inside.
“I thought you weren’t coming till later,” I said, as we cruised away.
“Drove straight from the airfield.” He grinned. “For my wife, of course.” He ran his fingers through his gorgeous golden hair before he slung his wrist casually on the steering wheel.
“Yeah, right.” I rolled my eyes before frowning. “Your car?”
“Had someone drive it.”
I nodded before a happy smile tugged my lips. “Guess what happened today?” I bounced in my seat.
He shrugged, shooting me an innocent glance. “The bitch got deported?”
“How do you know?”
“I just do.”
“Wait.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Don’t tell me you had something to do with it!?”
“Not really.” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “But your brother and I might have known someone who knows someone who knows someone who is really close to one of the higher-ups in Grisha.”
Was this what he did when he said he would take care of it all those months ago?
My eyes turned to thin slits. “So I didn’t get this job on my own?”
“You got a job?” he raised a brow. “I swear I don’t know anything about that.”
“Fine,” I mumbled. “But who cares how I got a job! Jenson asked me to be the lead character designer and I start next month!”
“Congratulations, Liliana. You deserve it more than anyone.” He glanced at me, smiling. “Well, it’s right in time for your surprise then.”
My brows furrowed. “What surprise? ”
“Look inside the dashboard.”
I flicked it open and there was a single sheet of paper tied with a purple bow. Confused, I carefully untied it.
My eyes almost bugged out of my head when they scanned through them. It was a flight plan for the jet. “Wait.” I squealed. “We are going to Tokyo!?”
His eyes glimmered. “And Kyoto, Hokkaido, Kanazawa, Osaka, Yamanashi and Nara.”
I screamed so loud and tackled him so hard from the side that he almost lost control of the car.
“Fuck, careful little mouse,” he chided but his face said otherwise.
“OMG, I’m so happy. I love you so fucking much!” I peppered kisses all over his face which was probably dangerous but I didn’t care.
“I know.” He shook his head, laughing as he maneuvered me back into the seat.
I tried not to let the disappointment cloud my face at his lack of response and focused on my dream trip.
“How long are we staying there? We are covering so many places; it’s going to be so much fun! Will we be visiting a hot spring? I heard some traditional ones wouldn’t allow you if you had tattoos, so you probably have to wait outside because I’m not missing it for you. Oh, and are we going to pet deer in Nara? I saw them bow to people and I really, really want to try it!”
“Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.” Michael held up a hand. “Slow down, it’s not a fucking speed contest for chrissakes. But don’t worry, we have plenty of time to do everything. ”
I nodded, still bouncing in my seat and it was only then that I realized I hadn’t asked the important question. “When are we going? I need loads of time to pack.” I was already making a mental note of all the cute dresses I could wear, hmm, although I should probably double-check the weather.
“Now,” he replied, grinning.
“What!? You can’t be serious.” It was only then that I noticed that we were way out of the city. “Wait, are we driving to the airfield?”
“Yes.”
“But what about my clothes?”
“Don’t worry.” He laced his fingers through mine and dropped a kiss on the back of my hand. “I had K pack a suitcase for you, but she packed more like five.”
That settled my heart a bit; if there was anyone I could trust with my wardrobe, it was Katy.
“So we fly now?”
“Yep.” He rolled out, flashing me a grin.
I grinned back. “I can’t wait.”
Days later
“Jindai Zakura,” I said in awe at the sight in front of me. “It’s so beautiful.”
“I know right?” Michael whispered, holding me tight to his chest as our eyes remained glued on what was considered the oldest Sakura tree in the world. Michael timed this trip perfectly, right at the heart of cherry blossom season, so the tree was in full bloom, with its beautiful pearly pink petals and weeping branches lit up by soft lights.
A calming breeze made the leaves dance, and a few petals flew over us. Standing here in silence felt magical as the stars twinkled above.
“Thank you for bringing me here.”
“Hmm.” His arms tightened around me. “I want to tell you something.” His voice took a serious tone all of a sudden, and I stilled.
“I think I finally believe you,” he said after a moment.
My eyes met his over the shoulder.
“You said I wasn’t a monster.” His throat worked a swallow. “I didn’t believe you at first, but I think now I do. I think I finally see that I’m just me. Because you wouldn’t look at me the way you did if I was a monster, right?” His voice cracked with so much vulnerability that my heart ached.
Oh, Michael . “I wouldn’t,” I whispered, my eyes softening.
He nodded. “I’m so tired of letting the past dictate my life. If you say that I’m not that kind of person, then I’ll choose to believe you. You know better than me. I want my forever, and I want it with you. I can’t imagine living a single second without you.”
“There is nothing more that I’d rather want,” I whispered as a single tear trickled down my cheek. The smile he gave me only made the ache worsen, in a good way. “I love you.”
“I never believed in those words.” His nose touched mine. “Because those three simple words can’t possibly define all the feelings I feel for you. It’s more than that. But it’s what people say anyway, right? If so, then I love you. I love you more than it’s humanly possible to love someone. You complete me, Lily. No one else in the world makes me feel the way you do.”
I had tears streaming all over my cheeks. “You can’t make me cry like this,” I blubbered. “But I love you too.”
He laughed. “Also got you something else.” He fished inside his pocket and brought out something sparkly. “We wouldn’t want you wearing an elastic band forever,” he mumbled, retrieving the worn-out thread from my finger and dropping it carefully back into his pocket. “I think this one would last longer.” He slowly slid a gorgeous ring, encrusted with purple flowers, flowy golden branches, and green emerald leaves that matched his eyes. It looked oddly familiar for some reason.
“It’s beautiful, thank you,” I whispered.
He captured my lips in a quick kiss before he requested a tourist to get a picture of us.
I was all smiles as he hugged me in his arms. We dressed up in kimonos for a local festival today, me in a purple one adorned with flowers and Michael in a simple black one with hakama pants that made him so much hotter than he already was.
“Let’s frame this one when we get back home,” I said as we walked back, my eyes glued to my phone.
“Whatever my wife wants.”
“Wait.” I halted on the spot. “This picture...” My shocked eyes flew to his. “It looks exactly like my drawing.”
The little sketch I drew when I was a kid. Michael and I, getting married under a Sakura tree wearing kimonos.
“You made my art come true,” I said, wide-eyed .
“I did.” He pulled me closer and brought his lips to mine. “And I’m going to make all your dreams come true.”
My heart skipped a beat. “I love you, Michael, so fucking much.”
He smiled. “And I love you, little mouse.”
Our lips met in a kiss.
It didn’t matter how life would try to taint you. In the end, love would always heal you.
Because it certainly healed me.
Forever.