41. Walker
Walker
I ’m finally free of the wrist brace. It feels weirder than I thought it would, considering I’d been taking it off more frequently over the last two to three weeks, basically never wearing it at home.
Even still, I try to protect it which is why I enlisted Kevin’s help setting up these tables in the yard while Phoenix is still asleep.
He got home from the fire station at seven this morning and went straight to bed.
Apparently, they were on a call until about two a.m. It was one of his last shifts and I’m more than ready for him to be done there, even if that makes me a selfish asshole.
I don’t eat or sleep when he’s working, and I text him incessantly. Apparently, the guys at the station fuck with him and tell him he should just shove two of the twin beds together and tell me to come sleep there.
I asked if that was a real possibility.
Spoiler alert: it’s not.
But today, I’m staying busy getting ready for the cookout Phoe and I are hosting. A little coming out party so to speak, to celebrate not having to hide anymore. We’re also celebrating Phoenix being my coach, and my wrist finally being healed enough to allow me back on a horse today.
Even Alexis and Colton are coming…but as soon as I remember that, my nerves dial all the way up. Alexis and I have decided to finally tell Colton the truth about who I am now that we know I’ll be staying close by permanently.
I’d missed Colton when Phoenix and I were out of town—like somehow the physical distance made the emotional distance worse. We’ve been able to get together twice since Phoe and I got back from Wyoming a couple weeks ago, and I knew I wanted them both at our cookout.
In for a penny, in for a pound. I figure if I’ve finally admitted to being gay and the whole world knows, then it’s probably past time for my son to know he’s my son.
It’s been a helluva few months, and I’m ready to have everything, every single thing, out in the open.
Secrets are fucking exhausting, and they only cause more damage the longer you hold on to them.
I’m ready to be the version of myself that I know and love.
And shockingly, that includes being a father.
“Hey, boss, where do you want this set up?” Kevin asks, holding up a set of cornhole boards he dragged out from the barn.
“How many times do I have to tell you? You don’t have to call me that,” I admonish the cubicle-worker-turned-ranch-hand, arching a brow. “You work for Phoenix. Not me.”
Kevin shrugs. “The way I see it, you and Phoenix are a couple, and you both live here, so you’re both my boss.”
“But he’s the one that pays you,” I argue, uncomfortable with the idea of being someone’s boss.
“With all due respect, if I went against your wishes about how something is done on this farm, how well do you think Mr. Harding would react to that?” Kevin asks, a confident smirk on his face.
Not well.
“Fine. You have a point. Put them in front of the oak tree. But stop calling me boss. Walker is fine.”
“You’re damn right he is.” I whip my head around at the sound of Phoenix’s sleep-heavy voice.
“How long have you been standing there?” I ask, my gaze taking in his shirtless torso. God, I love the heat in the south. Warm days can stretch well into November, which means Phoe rarely has a shirt on. My eyes travel lower and I notice he’s sporting an impressive erection in his gym shorts.
Just out here in the open.
For everyone to see.
“Long enough to know my farmhand is quite possibly the smartest one on this property.” Phoenix’s grin tells me he heard the entire exchange.
I roll my eyes. “You invented a skin-safe flame retardant that has saved thousands of lives, so you’ll excuse me if I don’t agree, you literal-fucking-genius.”
Phoenix comes down the steps and crosses the yard to wrap his arms around me, his minty breath filling my mouth as he kisses me.
“I hate waking up to find you out of bed already,” he pouts. I have to admit, Phoenix pouting is about the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
“I’m sorry, angel. I didn’t want to wake you because I know you just got in, but someone needed to start getting things ready. The party starts at one, and we both know people will show up well before that.”
Phoenix laughs because he knows I’m right.
Grabbing me by the hand, he yells over his shoulder to Kevin, “Looks great, man! Keep up the good work! We need to, uh…pay some bills before everyone gets here. We’ll be right back!”
A snort escapes. “ Pay some bills?”
Phoenix laughs. “Zip it. I just woke up.”
“What the hell is that a euphemism for anyway?”
“You’re about to find out.”
It seems that ever since admitting our feelings and allowing ourselves this relationship, Phoenix refuses to go extended periods of time without touching me. And I’m more than okay with it.
Except right now, it’s ten a.m. and I expect our friends to start showing up within the hour regardless of what time we said the party would start.
But as soon as Phoenix slams the front door shut behind me and his hands frantically pull at my shirt, I forget to care about our guests’ impending arrival.
“Phoe, if you get me naked in this foyer, Kevin is going to be scarred for life.” I laugh against his greedy lips as he backs me against the wall.
“Scarred? Or horny?” he asks.
“Considering he’s straight, I’m gonna go with scarred.”
Phoenix pulls back and smirks at me. “Hmm, I disagree, but nonetheless, I don’t want anyone seeing what’s mine, so let’s go.”
He rips me from the wall and pulls me up the steps behind him. I protest half-heartedly up the staircase, but the words finally die on my lips with no chance of reemerging when Phoenix sheds his shorts and pulls me on top of him as he lands on the bed.
His dick stabs me in the stomach before I can throw my hands out to catch myself and he laughs through a wince.
“As much as I love impaling you on my cock, that’s not what I had in mind for this morning.”
“By all means, please enlighten me then,” I deadpan, righting myself on his body.
He’s awfully full of it already, so I can’t wait to see where this is going.
Suddenly, he grows quiet, all his confidence and playfulness gone.
“Phoe, what is it?” I ask, unable to keep the worry from my voice as I cup his face and force him to look up at me.
“I want you to fuck me,” he finally says, making my eyes widen.
We’ve never really talked about roles or preferences, because we’ve never really had to.
Since that very first night, I knew Phoenix belonged inside me.
Not because I’m strictly a bottom, but because that’s just what felt right.
He had the experience. I didn’t. And I wanted him to call the shots.
I like being at Phoenix’s mercy, filling every inch of me with every inch of him.
He’s playfully mentioned it before, and I guess I figured we’d talk about it at some point, but the morning of our coming-out party, and the day I tell my son I’m his dad, wasn’t when I expected to do it.
When I stay quiet, he continues. “I had this dream last night and it was fucking terrifying. When I woke up and you were gone, I panicked until I finally figured out it was just a dream. But then I realized, I don’t know what it feels like to have you inside me…and that needs to change.”
My balls grow heavy with his statement. Arousal floods my system and my blood shoots straight to my dick.
Apparently, all systems are a go.
I slide off his lap and tug my jeans down.
“You’ll walk me through this?” I ask, my voice heavy with lust. “I don’t want to hurt you or be so terrible you never want to do it again.”
I remember Phoenix saying how much pressure there is being someone’s first…but even though he’s done this several times, it’s still te rrifying.
He slides back on our bed, his eyes hooded as he rakes them over my naked body. “Baby, I’m so fucking ready for you I don’t think I’d even feel the pain, but yes, I’ll walk you through it.”
And he does, which as it turns out, doesn’t require much guidance since I’ve fingered his ass plenty of times. As I curl two fingers against his prostate, he bucks and moans, and I have to drive the heel of my hand into my dick before I have a hands-free orgasm and come all over our comforter.
Phoenix’s hands grip my forearms. “Do that again.”
I oblige and his moans make my cock ache.
“Phoe, I’m gonna blow before I’m even inside you if you keep making those sounds,” I warn.
“I can’t help the sounds, so fuck me already.”
Don’t have to tell me twice.
Coating my shaft with a copious amount of lube from the bottle on the nightstand, I inch my knees closer to Phoenix so I can line myself up to him.
I feel like a virgin all over again, but I guess I kind of am…in this role at least.
Gripping my cock with my right hand, I brace myself with my left palm on the back of his thigh, pushing it toward his chest. I’ve never had this vantage point and I have to admit…I like it.
A lot.
Phoenix’s abs are contracted as he waits for me to enter his body. His hands are restless as they bunch in the sheets at his sides. His lips are parted, there’s sweat on his brow, and his pupils are blown to hell.
Fuck, he’s gorgeous.
Unable to help myself, I drag the head of my cock across his puckered flesh and shudder at the sensation.
“Stop fucking teasing me,” Phoenix says through gritted teeth, pushing his body toward me as his hand wraps around his cock to relieve the pressure I know is building.
“But it feels so good,” I point out, rimming him with the head of my dick again.
“You know what else feels good? Coming inside my ass. So, do that.”
Precum pours out of me, leaving me with no choice but to enter him. As soon as I’m pushing against that first ring of muscle, a wave of dizziness hits me so hard I tighten my grip on his thigh to get the room to stop spinning.
“ Holy fucking shit .” The curse tears from my mouth without permission as his body engulfs me in flames and pressure.