Chapter 18 Devora
Devora
My chest caved in, all the air leaving my lungs. “You—you know my mother?”
The Shadow Wielder gazed at me as if he were seeing someone else. He had to be twenty years my senior, if not more. Probably around my parents’ age. Was he friends with them? Could he take me to them? A tentative hope blossomed in my chest, unfurling at the edges like a blooming flower.
“I knew her, yes.”
“Well, where is she?” I stepped forward in excitement.
He licked his lips, a deep crease appearing on his forehead. “I thought you knew.”
My hands went clammy at my sides. “Knew what?”
“She…she died, girl.” His throat moved as he swallowed. “Her and your father both. In a shipwreck a long time ago.”
That flower of hope rotted and died in my stomach. My shoulders fell as I exhaled, the weight of years of longing now wrenched from my very bones with every breath. I rocked backward on my heels, reeling from his words.
They were gone.
I should’ve expected this. I should’ve put the pieces together. I was usually so good at that, at reading between the lines, taking information and twisting it till I got the truth. I was found on the shores of Mysthelm as a baby. If I was alone, what was the only reasonable explanation?
I was an idiot. A foolish girl holding on to the thread of a dream that I’d find my family one day. Not just that I’d get my answers, but that I’d find somewhere I belonged. I hadn’t realized how much I wanted that until it was dangled in front of me, then ripped away.
Everyone in the room seemed to hold their breath. Even Nox’s features had softened toward me, no longer full of the resentment I so often saw.
Pity was worse. I’d rather have anger.
“What happened?” I finally asked, barely holding my voice steady.
“Ceres and Malijah were part of a rebellion against the former emperor with me and some others over twenty years ago. Until she got pregnant,” Thecae started.
Ceres and Malijah. My breath caught at the sound of their names.
“They didn’t want to get involved in anything that could potentially endanger Ceres or the baby.
We knew where things were heading in the empire, and they didn’t want their child growing up in such a dark world.
” Thecae met my stare again. “So they and a couple other families set sail for Mysthelm shortly after you were born. The ship and its crew were supposed to return, but when weeks went by and we hadn’t heard anything, we sent some scouts.
” He took a deep breath, his voice suddenly weary.
“All they brought back was rubble from the wreckage. We thought everyone died.”
I sat down on a large box against the wall, afraid my legs would give out if I didn’t. “I was found inside a basket. There was a—a blue baby blanket with the name Devora S stitched onto it.” My nose twitched with a sting, and I adjusted my glasses. “It was the only piece of my past I ever had.”
“Sephorne,” Thecae said, voice rough. “That’s what the S stands for. Your last name.”
Devora Sephorne.
I mouthed the words, letting them roll across my tongue. A shiver crept down my spine. I’d never had a last name. A jagged piece snapped into place, however small it may be.
“My mother stitched that blanket, you know.” Thecae gave a soft smile that looked at odds against the hard planes of his face. “Our families were close. Do you still have it?”
I shook my head and glanced down at my feet. “I wasn’t able to grab most of my things when I…when I left Mysthelm.”
Movement to my left caused me to look up. Nox shifted, his brow furrowed as he stared at me. I quickly turned away.
“I’m guessing they were both Shadow Wielders?” I asked Thecae after a moment of silence.
He nodded. “Your mother was an exceptionally powerful one. Malijah was actually half Shadow Wielder, half Lightbender, although it’s unlikely that both passed on to you. If anything, it would make you an even stronger Shadow Wielder. You’ve shown signs of the gift, I assume?”
I twisted my lips back and forth, slightly embarrassed. “Briefly, yes.”
“My maids say she conjures them in her sleep on occasion,” Nox offered. “They’ve seen shadows form beneath her door at night.”
“But I—I can’t make it happen again. I can’t get them to come back,” I admitted.
At that, Thecae grunted. “Of course not. Can you make your shadow do anything?” He pointed to the ground at our five elongated shadows, highlighted by the sun coming through a window in the far corner. “Can you make it disappear or reappear at will?”
“No, but…that’s different,” I said.
“Why?”
“Because,” I squinted as I tried to form my thoughts, “because that’s caused by the sun. It’s not a force I can control.”
“That’s the second time you’ve talked about them like that. Why are you so interested in controlling the shadows, girl?”
I bit down on my bottom lip, torn between embarrassment and irritation. “I thought that was the whole point of this? So I could learn how to wield them?”
“That was your first mistake.” He held out his arms, and I blinked several times as his real shadow, the one on the ground next to all of ours, wavered.
It slowly furled in on itself and crept up his legs, then his torso, until it split and billowed out across his arms. The shadows twirled around his hands as if they were an extension of him.
“Until you learn that your shadows are always a part of you, not just something to summon and banish whenever you feel like it, you won’t be able to access them. They won’t answer you if you view them as nothing more than a weapon to wield.”
“Okay.” I scratched the back of my ear. I supposed that made sense. It explained why trying to force them never worked for me. “Well…can you help me?”
“For Ceres and Malijah’s daughter?” His lips curved upward. “Anything.”