Chapter 52 Devora
Devora
Nox grabbed our bags, and we made our way up the entrance steps. I caught a glimpse of rich mahogany floors, dark green rugs, and dozens of sparkling chandeliers peeking out from the open doors. Clarissa was ahead of us, speaking with the guards, so I took a second to turn to Nox.
“What did Thorne mean when he said you saw them a few weeks ago?”
“Remember when I left Tenebra for a short while to take care of something for Scarven?” Nox started, and I nodded. “I brought the rebels he wanted me to get rid of here, to work for Rissa.”
“Oh,” I blinked back my surprise, “that was…that was good of you.”
He winked at me before we walked through the open door. “Besides, how else did you think I got your blanket back?”
“Wait, Nox,” I hissed after him. “Are you saying—”
“That he almost plowed down my palace to get me to send an emergency message in our next correspondence with Mysthelm? Yes, yes he did,” Clarissa called. She waited for us just inside the doors. “I told him it better be important.”
Nox, eyes still trained on me, said, “It was.”
A blush crept up my neck and to my cheeks.
The thought of him roping in Clarissa just to get my childhood keepsake back hadn’t even crossed my mind.
And he did this when we were in Drakorum?
That was so long ago—before he and I had any semblance of trust, any camaraderie or care for each other beyond the mission.
That somehow made the gesture more meaningful.
Clarissa cleared her throat. I jumped and tore my gaze away from Nox. “Sawyer here will take your bags to your rooms.” She nodded to a guard who approached from the side. “Come on. The others are waiting.”
“There he is!” a familiar female voice rang out from the drawing room.
“I was wondering when he was going to show up.”
A booming chuckle followed. “The famous dragon Shifter. Now the real party can start.”
“Quiet, Chaz. Nobody else knows he’s a dragon.”
I didn’t recognize the owners of the second voices, but the first two, Rose and Leo, stood to greet Nox as he followed Clarissa into the room.
I stood back with Mia still sitting at my feet, watching while Nox hugged his friends.
A faint smile spread across my lips at seeing him in his element.
I knew he and Rose were close—the beautiful green-eyed, dark-haired Alchemist and her partner had spent a lot of time with him when we were all in Mysthelm.
I only hoped she’d be able to help us with Scarven’s mysterious Alchemy.
Rose caught my eye as she stepped back from Nox. Her grin faltered slightly, but she nodded at me. “Devora. We weren’t sure if you’d come.”
At her words, six pairs of eyes turned on me.
This wasn’t awkward at all.
A brown-skinned woman I’d never met before wheeled herself toward me in a large wheelchair. Black locks fell down one side of her full chest, and a blanket rested in her lap.
She stared at me with a curious look. “Is this her?” She spared one glance at Nox. “The infamous Shadow Wielder?”
Nox flashed her a smirk. “That’s her.”
The woman appraised me with sharp, discerning eyes. “Thecae was quite impressed with you. And it takes a lot to impress that man.”
My eyes widened at the mention of the Shadow Wielder trainer. “You know Thecae?”
“Who do you think told Nox to take you there?”
“Devora,” Nox said, holding an arm out to the woman. “Meet Lark Everest.”
I remembered how Nox said a friend recommended Thecae teach me how to figure out my shadows. I shook her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you,” I said. “I guess I should be thanking you. Without Thecae, I would’ve never learned about my magic or where I came from. He’s incredible, truly.”
“He is. And he’s often a good judge of character.” She still eyed me with that guarded look, sizing me up. “I hope you’ve been using the shadows well.”
I could tell these people were fiercely loyal and protective of Clarissa. I didn’t blame them for being so wary. But they hadn’t kicked me out yet, so that was a good sign.
A very large, muscular man with a trimmed black beard and three daggers attached to his belt stepped forward, feet thundering and dark eyes piercing.
His imposing form towered over me, arms crossed over his chest as he stopped barely a foot in front of me.
I held his stare and lifted my chin, despite my shadows trying to dart out from my fingertips.
“So you’re the one who crossed my empress?” he asked, his voice deep and gruff. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nox straighten and step toward me, but I held out a hand to stop him.
“Yes,” I said simply.
“You put that fox in the fire? You ratted her out and almost got her hanged?”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek before responding, “Yes.”
He paused. “Do you regret it?”
That one didn’t take any thought. “Every second of every day.”
He hitched his thumb toward Nox. “And now pretty dragon boy over here has you working against Scarven?”
“That’s right.”
To my surprise, his scowl shifted into a bright smile. It transformed his entire face, taking him from burly, aggressive guard to friendly and playful in the blink of an eye. “Great. I hate that guy.” He stuck out his hand, and I blinked twice before realizing I was supposed to shake it.
“This is Chaz,” Lark said. "Tact isn’t his strong suit.”
“Sorry for being the only one with the balls to address the elephant in the room,” he said, shrugging.
“The way I figure, she was put in a tough position by someone abusing their power over her. Come on, we’ve all been there.
Do I like what she did? No. Do I think it’s possible to work with her because we’re all on the same side now? Sure.”
He glanced back at me. “And I think you know if you try anything like that again, Nox over here will be the least of your problems. Don’t you, gorgeous?” He winked at me with that same grin still on his face.
“I would never. I—” I tore my gaze from Chaz and found Clarissa, who was still by the door with her arms crossed.
“I promise, Your Majesty. I don’t expect you to forgive me.
I know I can’t undo the wrong I’ve done, but I can choose what I do next.
That’s what these last five weeks have been about.
Building trust and…and learning what I want to fight for.
” The words came to me without thinking, ones I’d wanted to say to her since I found out what Scarven was doing to his people.
“This is it. I want to fight for Veridians. I want to fight for the ones who have only known fear. I want to fight so people like me aren’t taken advantage of again.
” I glanced at Nox at that part, then back to Clarissa.
“You all may not believe me, but that’s the truth. And I’m so sorry, Clarissa.”
The entire room held its breath. I knew this moment would come, the awkward apologies, the testing, the laying it all on the line. If they wanted me gone, it was better to do it before the celebrations began. I just needed them to know.
Clarissa’s stare weighed on me, a flicker of uncertainty in those dark eyes. Each passing second caused a string around my heart to tighten further. She quickly glanced over at Nox, and the corner of her eyes narrowed by a fraction. Observing. Sifting. Calculating.
And then the side of her mouth lifted. Not much, but enough to send tentative hope soaring through me.
“I believe you, Devora,” she finally said. Her voice was soft but firm. “I held on to my bitterness for a long time, thinking it was my right to be angry with you.” Her brow furrowed as she swallowed.
“But then I realized…I was becoming no better than Lady Reaux. Nox told me you’ve been invaluable with whatever business you two have gotten up to, and honestly, it didn’t surprise me one bit.
” That infinitesimal smile rose a little bit further.
“You’ve always been capable. You were the girl with a dagger beneath her skirt and liquor down her dress. ”
I bit my lip as tears sprang to my eyes at her words.
“Everything turned out exactly as it was supposed to be,” she said, almost in a whisper. “If I’m being honest with myself, I think I forgave you a long time ago, Devora.”
I let out a heavy breath. That simple sentence released months of guilt I’d worn on my shoulders like an old cloak.
Always there, lingering in the back of my mind.
I wasn’t perfect, but I knew who I was now.
I knew where my loyalties lay and who I wanted to stand beside.
But I’d still been holding on to the heartache I’d caused, still dreading that others would always see the worst in me.
You’re not the sum of your past.
Maybe Nox was right.
Maybe I could let the self-loathing go.
Maybe I could move forward without the guilt pressing in on my ribs, without the constant struggle to prove myself. Maybe I could stop believing I deserved to be in pain. To be unwanted. To be used.
All I could do was nod, afraid if I opened my mouth, tears would come rushing down my face. Clarissa held out her hand with a small smile, and I crossed to the doors and took it, squeezing tight.
“Congratulations, by the way,” I said, then cleared my throat. “I’m so happy for you and Lord Reaux.”
Clarissa’s nose scrunched. “Lord Reaux. That’s a title he hasn’t heard in a long time. We’re just Rissa and Thorne around here.” Her eyes sparkled, the same vibrant empress I remembered. I wanted happiness for her now, the same as I had back then.
“You two must be hungry,” Rose said from behind us. “We can catch up while you eat. I want to hear all about how living with Nox has been. Has he made you want to rip his head off yet?”
“Daily,” I said. The others laughed. I snuck him a look and found him smirking at me, rubbing his thumb slowly along his bottom lip.
“I remember meeting him at the Decemvirate last year and thinking he was absolutely insufferable.” Rose gave him a saccharine smile. “But I guess he turned out alright.”
“There’s the viper I know,” he drawled.