Chapter 52 Devora #2
Nox and I sat down on the couch in front of a small table with a plate of sandwiches and glasses of water. The others took their seats in various chairs, lounging casually as we talked. Thorne had joined us after putting Marigold to bed, and he rubbed Clarissa’s shoulders where she sat by the fire.
When Rose settled in across from me, I asked, “Were you in the Decemvirate, too? With Nox and Arowyn?”
Rose nodded. “I was Feywood’s challenger. That’s how I met this group of stragglers. Fates, I haven’t heard from Arowyn in forever. Is she in Drakorum?”
“Yeah, she’s doing great,” I said, taking a bite of my sandwich. “Always makes us laugh. And her powers are amazing. She’s been a huge help with rescuing Scarven’s prisoners, and—”
At my words, Clarissa jerked her head up right as Nox stiffened. I immediately stopped talking and looked between the two of them. “Did I say something wrong?”
“What’s she talking about? What prisoners?” Clarissa’s voice was a growl, her dark brown eyes heating to the gold of her fox half.
Nox cleared his throat. “I may not have been entirely forthcoming in our chats, Rissa.”
“Don’t you dare ‘Rissa’ me. Scarven is taking prisoners? What’s going on? You told me everything was under control!”
My stomach dropped as I realized my mistake. I turned to Nox and hissed, “She doesn’t know?”
He sighed. “Look, Rissa, you were just crowned six weeks ago, and then with the wedding…I didn’t know how to put that on you. I’ve got people helping me. We—”
“Oh, you have people. I’m so relieved,” she spat. “I’m the Empress of the Veridian Empire, Nox. I could have sent an army.”
“And that’s exactly the kind of catalyst that would start a civil war!
” Nox’s voice rose. “One I don’t think you could win right now.
You don’t understand what Scarven is doing.
How powerful he’s grown. If he’s provoked, I’m afraid no army would be able to stop him.
That’s why we’re trying to dismantle him from the inside. ”
“Of course I don’t understand what he’s doing, because you haven’t told me anything! Fates, Nox, don’t you realize how this looks?” She pointed at her chest. “I’ve been doing nothing while this man is taking my people. For what? What is he doing to them?”
Nox closed his eyes, the column of his throat moving as he swallowed hard. “He’s doing experiments. On their magic.”
A silence fell over the room. Rose let out a breath and whispered, “Like the ones that were done on you.”
He didn’t say anything, but his hands curled at his sides. I wondered how much Rose knew about his past. I wondered if any of them knew how his nightmares still tortured him, decades later. If they knew how hard he was working to keep others from the same fate.
“This is unbelievable,” Clarissa said on an exhale, running shaky hands through her hair. “We have to do something.” Her eyes shot back to Nox, desperation evident on her features. “I can’t believe you kept this from me. I’m supposed to be the one to help these people.”
“Rissa, please. I know you’re upset. I shouldn’t have hidden the truth, and for that, I’m truly sorry. But you know he has my sister.” Nox moved forward on the couch, his voice breaking. Clarissa’s face softened at the mention of Vera.
“Up until a few days ago, Scarven thought I was on his side,” Nox explained.
“I was able to get prisoners out from right beneath his nose and keep my sister alive. If I had told you, if you had come blazing through Drakorum with the Royal Guard, I would’ve lost every advantage I had.
He would’ve retaliated five, ten, fifteen times stronger. Trust me, I—”
“That’s the problem, Nox,” Clarissa cut him off. She didn’t sound angry, merely resigned. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep trusting you.”
His shoulders fell. The look on his face gutted me—not because he was shocked, but because he wasn’t. It reminded me of the way I felt when I thought about my “punishment” all those months ago, convincing myself I deserved it.
He didn’t deserve any of this.
I gritted my teeth and instinctively moved closer to him.
“Look, you have no idea what he’s gone through.
” A defensiveness I wasn’t used to lined my tone.
“You don’t know what he’s doing to save innocent lives and protect his sister and still find a way to bring Scarven down.
It’s an impossible situation. He would sacrifice his life for any single one of you, and you know that. ”
I looked around the room. “Should he have told you the truth? Probably. But if you’ve ever trusted him, if you’ve ever put your faith in him because you know how good his heart is, then trust that he had a reason.
” Turning back to him, my eyes flitted between his as I added, “We have to believe we’re more than our mistakes. ”
Nox’s navy gaze shone brighter as he looked at me. His little finger came out to graze the edge of my hand on the couch between us. I thought he would move it away after a second, but to my surprise, he kept it there.
Clarissa closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. The air seemed to waver in her silence, waiting for her response.
“Alright. No fighting. What’s done is done, and all we can do is move forward.” She opened her eyes and leveled them on Nox. “But you’re done hiding things from me. Start at the beginning.”