Chapter 61 Devora
Devora
The mountains of the Guardian Range loomed before us, browner and greener than the cold, dark peaks at the south end of the province.
This range marked the border between Emberfell, home of the Lightbenders, and Drakorum.
On the ride north, the others told me about Emberfell and its jungles, how the coldness of the Shifter province slowly transitioned to lush greenery beyond the mountains.
I could feel the change. It was still cold, but a slight dampness entered the air the further we went, one that reminded me more of the shores back in Mysthelm.
As we climbed higher into the range, the path narrowed into a single, winding trail carved into the mountainside—barely wide enough for a carriage.
There was a steep drop on one side and an unforgiving rock face on the other.
Moss clung to the stone, slick from the morning frost that was quickly melting in the afternoon sun, and old trees leaned over the path.
Nox came to a halt on his horse in front of me, and that’s when I saw it.
Half-swallowed by the cliffside was the entrance to the Guardian Forge.
There was still quite a bit of distance between us and it, but I could see the jagged edges of rock, the darkened archway that gaped like a mouth, so flush with the mountainside that it was easy to mistake for a large shadow if you weren’t looking.
Whoever built this wanted to keep it hidden.
“It looks empty,” Arowyn remarked as we all clustered together at a fork in the road. One way led to the forge, and the other to a mountain pass.
I tentatively called on my shadows, sifting and weighing them to see how they responded.
I hadn’t felt that uncontrollable side of them since the fight, but I was still hesitant to overuse them.
When a couple of strands pulled away from my skin and wound peacefully around my fingers, I sent them over the narrow path toward the opening up ahead.
Their movements nudged against my mind, bringing with it sounds of the mountain. Rocks clattering, wind weaving through open spaces, small claws of animals tapping on stone. I felt my shadows crawl through the entrance to the Guardian Forge, then swell and expand in the comfort of the darkness.
I closed my eyes and concentrated. A couple of unfamiliar voices reached me, my shadows whispering their words into my ears.
I faced the others at the same time Nox did and said, “It’s just a couple of guards—”
“A few guards on duty. Nothing to—”
We looked at each other, sharing a smirk. “Your shadow whispering is getting good,” Nox admitted.
“Yeah, we get it, you’re the super cool, super powerful couple of the group.” Arowyn waved a hand in the air. “Everett, ready to go?”
The plan was for him to illusion himself and Arowyn to go scout a place to drop the fire quartz, while Nox and I stood on guard duty.
Everett nodded, then paused to scratch beneath his temporary eyepatch.
The scar had improved, but he still couldn’t see very well out of his left eye.
It was unfortunate for him, considering Illusionists relied on sight to cast magic.
If anything happened to his other eye, he’d be powerless.
“Great.” Nox tipped his head at the two of them. “We’ll meet back here in an hour and make camp in the mountain pass until the shipment arrives.”
Arowyn cracked her neck from side to side. “Sounds good.” She put a hand on Everett’s shoulders. Giving me a quick wink, she said, “See you on the other side.”
They disappeared in a faint shimmer. As planned, Nox and I grabbed the reins of their horses and made our way down the other path until we found a covered area to tie them.
I twisted my fingers in the bottom of my fitted leathers, biting my lip as I looked back at the entrance to the Guardian Forge.
“Nervous?” Nox asked behind me.
I let out a hum. “I don’t like the waiting part.”
His hands snaked around my waist. He pressed his lips to my neck, making me tilt my head to the side. “We could do other things to pass the time.”
I laughed and tapped his cheek. “We would make terrible guards.”
“But very productive.” He spun me to face him and planted a lingering kiss on my lips. A breeze picked up around us, blowing my hair around our faces. He broke away to lift his nose to the wind, and the movement was so Shifter-like that I couldn’t help but smile.
“A storm’s coming,” he said, sniffing the air. “Hopefully they get done scouting before it breaks.”
“Well, aren’t you a handy little weather detector?”
He grinned. “My mother was the best at it. She’s a raven Shifter, so she has a strong affinity for the sky. She would always pull me aside when she smelled one coming and teach me how to look for the signs.” He had a faraway look in his eyes as he gazed up at the darkening clouds.
“I’ve never heard you talk about her,” I said quietly. “Is she…”
“She’s alive.” A sad smile quirked at his lips. “She’s in Tenebra, actually. Scarven banished her five years ago when she tried to help Vera escape. I hadn’t seen her since then, until we went several weeks ago.”
My eyes widened. “You went to see your mother?”
He nodded. “Before my task for Scarven and going to the capital. It was a quick visit. He has men on her all the time, so I didn’t want to be suspicious.”
“How was she? What’s she like?” I blurted out.
I wanted to know everything about this man and his past. I wanted to hear about his childhood.
His favorite bedtime stories, all the embarrassing tales of his youth, what life as the governor’s son was like.
Did he have his mother’s eyes? Her smile?
Did he get his charm from her, or maybe his compassion?
“She’s doing well, I guess. As well as she can be. She made a life for herself in Tenebra, but is still biding her time to be able to come back to Drakorum. To be a family again.”
The wistfulness in his voice dissipated as he chuckled. “I think you’d like her. And I know she’d like you. Even with his men watching her constantly, she still found a way to form her own little rebellion, right under their noses. Father said she was always a troublemaker when they were younger.”
I nudged his shoulder. “Now I see where you get it from.”
“I could never get away with anything. When she was in her raven form, she could hide so easily and catch me in the act. I tried to blame a broken vase on our dog once when I was nine, but she’d seen me sliding down the banister.
What she didn’t know was that I was trying to fly. I wanted to be a raven, like her.”
“Not a lion?” I asked, thinking about his father’s form.
Nox shook his head. “I never wanted that kind of strength. A raven is strong in its own right, but it’s…it’s quiet. Deliberate. A silent force that doesn’t demand attention. That was my mother.”
The way he talked about his mother and how he yearned for a Shifter form like hers made things that much clearer to me. He was given the power of a dragon and all its volatile nature, when that was never what he wanted to begin with.
“I think you still have that,” I said. He turned to me with a raised eyebrow. “I know your dragon isn’t exactly silent or gentle, but I think, in a way, you are. You carry so much power inside you, Nox. You could’ve easily been like Scarven and abused it.”
Something in his eyes flickered, and he turned to stare back at the mountain.
I rubbed a hand on his arm. “But you’re nothing like him. You’re so gentle and compassionate with those kids at the Keep. With me, even. You could destroy anything in your path, but you don’t. You know how to cherish things. Maybe part of that comes from your mother.”
He caught my fingers in his grip and squeezed, then kissed the tips. “Maybe,” he murmured. “I wish you could meet her.”
“I will, Nox,” I said firmly. “I know I will. When this is all over.”
He leaned toward me, his gaze latched on my lips, when the air shifted behind us.
“Knock knock,” Arowyn said as she and Everett popped back into existence, scaring me so badly, I leaped straight in the air. She chuckled. “Someone’s jumpy.”
A low rumble of thunder made me glance at the sky. A wave of gray storm clouds inched closer as I said, “Let’s just get out of sight before it rains.”
We took shelter in a small, hollowed-out portion of the rock face hidden from the main path.
Arowyn and Everett quickly explained their plan for placing the explosive, and the four of us sifted through various scenarios to work out backup plans for each.
It felt good to be involved in the intricacies of a mission.
And this was a fairly straightforward one—stride in, set the charmed fire quartz on fire, stride out.
Done. There was always an element of danger, but the more we talked, the more at ease we all grew.
Later, Arowyn and Everett went to check on the horses and relieve themselves. Nox slid out several weapons from his belt to sharpen them against the stone. More thunder boomed through the air, and soon, the soft sound of rain became the backdrop to steel on stone.
I let my shadows rise to the surface, testing them carefully and feeling their normal, playful selves dance around my fingers. As they skated closer to the shadows of the little cave, muffled voices drifted to me on my magic.
“...wonder why Milo didn’t want to see his pretty explosives in action,” Arowyn was saying.
A beat passed. Then Everett’s voice reached me. “He did. He just didn’t want to come when she was here.”
A weight sank in my stomach. Did they mean me?
Arowyn scoffed. “He needs to get over it. She’s part of the team.”
“Arowyn, Silas just died. Have some pity.”
“I get that, but it’s not like it’s Devora’s fault.”
“He doesn’t see it that way,” Everett said quietly.
My skin grew cold. I reached up to clasp my throat as I swallowed hard.
“He thinks Scarven sent his men because of his twisted obsession with her. That none of this would’ve happened if she hadn’t been there.” Everett’s voice was tired and resigned.
Arowyn cursed. “That’s ridiculous. Scarven’s a ticking time bomb. He would’ve attacked eventually, no matter what.”
“I know. I tried to tell him that, but he’s fragile right now. He doesn’t—”
Nox’s body hovered above me, and their words faded along with my shadows. His jaw flexed as he looked out the cave entrance. “Don’t listen to that, Devora,” he said.
I blinked rapidly, not even realizing tears had come to the surface until a couple spilled onto my cheek. I swiped them away with the back of my hand. “I’m not.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
I met his stare, those navy eyes piercing through every lie, every insecurity. I deflated under their weight. My head hit the stone wall behind me as I closed my eyes. “Do you think he’s right?” I whispered. “Is it all my fault?”
“Of course not. Milo is upset. He’s grieving and grappling for anything to make sense of the loss he’s feeling.”
“But he’s not wrong.” I played with the edges of my leathers, watching my shadows simmer on my skin. “Scarven had never attacked you before. He still trusted you. He didn’t even know about the Keep before I blew your cover.”
My mind ran through all the ways I’d put them in danger over the past weeks.
If I hadn’t tried to play the spy, if I hadn’t rushed into being the hero at the Hollow, if I hadn’t given away the fact that I was working with Nox, the Keep would still be safe.
Nox’s advantageous position at Scarven’s side would still be intact.
Silas would still be alive.
Nox dropped to the dirty alcove floor. The sight of his massive frame contorting itself into this small space would’ve garnered a laugh from me under most circumstances. He wedged his arm behind my head so I could rest it on his shoulder.
“There’s only room for one of us with a paranoid guilt complex in this relationship,” he said as he twisted a strand of my hair around his finger.
I couldn’t help the snort that left me. “Bold of you to assume this is a relationship.”
His fingers stopped. They moved to the back of my neck, gripping tight enough to send a shiver down my spine.
“Bold of you to assume I’d ever let you go.” Slowly, he angled my head up to look at him, the silver of his dragon shining through his fierce eyes.
“I don’t want you to spend another moment thinking any of this is your fault.
” He kissed the top of my cheek, and my eyes fluttered shut.
“I want you to think about how powerful you are.” His lips moved to my jaw.
“How selfless. How beautiful and strong and brave.” He pressed one last kiss to the side of my throat.
“I want you to think about how much we need you. How much I need you.”
“You have to say all of that. You love me.” I drew out the word with a half-hearted smirk, my anxiety from before slowly melting away.
“You aren’t those things to me because I love you, Devora,” he said, carefully moving a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I love you because you already are all of those things. I wish you could see yourself the way I do, darling. Because you would never blame yourself if you did. You would never question whether you were at fault for any of this.”
I rested my forehead against his. He leaned forward to skim his lips over mine, as if he felt the same pull I always did. As if he couldn’t bear the slightest distance.
“How do you always know what to say? Nobody has the right to be that charming,” I said, voice breathless.
He chuckled, but it held no humor. “It’s all the things I wished someone would say to me for so long.”
My heart twisted. I pulled back so I could see his face. “Would you believe me if I said them now?”
He gave me a sad smile. “I want to.”
“Believe that I love you.” I swallowed hard. These sorts of epic confessions and moments of raw, open vulnerability weren’t my strong suit, but for him…I would do anything.
“Believe that you are powerful,” I continued, tracing my finger along his jawline, his lips, his eyes.
“You have so many people who care about you. You’re selfless, and beautiful, and strong, and brave.
You’re the perfect man to lead us. And I wish you could see what I see.
What I’ve always seen, even when I didn’t want to open my eyes. ”
I gently kissed him, wishing I could bottle this warmth and fullness in my heart for the days that felt empty. Wishing I could tuck us away into a world without power-hungry governors and half-brothers, without pain and loss and constant guilt.
The sound of footsteps on gravel permeated our little solace, and I broke away from him.
“Can you two save this for later?” Arowyn rapped her knuckles on the stone outside the alcove. Her light hair was drenched and swinging at her waist. “It’s time.”