Chapter 7
I sneak back into the house, relieved that I’m not greeted by two sleepy, pissed off ex-guardians.
I’m pissed off. So if they get mad… I don’t think I’d care. What’s the worst they could do? Send me away? They’re already doing that.
They must have realized that too, because they’re fast asleep in their bed. Sleeping soundly even though I was out all night.
It hurts, but fuck them.
I walk to my room—their spare room—I grab an outfit and go to the bathroom to clean up before school. Maybe I’ll leave before they wake up and just go camp out at school until it starts.
That sounds like a better plan than hanging around here.
The day went by uneventfully, but it felt like there was a sword hanging over my head the whole day. Asher had two classes with me, so he sat next to me and chatted every so often. He even walked me to the class between the two we had. It was nice. He’s a cool guy, full of ambition and want.
He talked the whole passing period about this business idea he has that he’s going to start working towards.
Tattooing.
Sounds pretty fucking cool to me. Something I’d want to do if I could get better at drawing.
Lunchtime rolled around and Ty was standing against the wall, waiting for me when the bell rang. A smile grows when I see him and the smirk on his face grows when he sees me.
“Hey,” he says softly, lazily, but I can see the excitement in his eyes.
“Hey back.” I nudge him with my elbow, taking his hand in mine and leading the way. Ty trails behind me with an expression that tells me he’s happily being dragged. “Where were you this morning?”
It didn’t miss my attention that he wasn’t in homeroom this morning. My whole heart had sunk through my chest when he wasn’t sitting towards the back. But then Asher made an effort to sit by me in the next class and explained that Ty had something he had to do, so I’d see him at lunch.
“Let’s get food and go to our place,” I tell him, wanting to be there.
“Yes,” he nods, saying the word with a sigh of relief. I giggle—did I just fucking giggle?—and hold his hand tighter as he wraps his arm around my waist, suddenly hurrying us along. Just as we get to the cafeteria, the intercom crackles to life.
“Roxanne Westin, to the office. Roxanne Westin, to the office,” the bored secretary says and my stomach drops.
This is it.
My smile drops immediately and I look to Ty. He looks like he’s seen a ghost, his mouth snapping shut and the muscle in his jaw clenching.
“Maybe it’s nothing,” I say, trying to wipe the look of devastation and defiance off his face. He wants to fight it, fight for me.
And I’m pretty sure I could fall in love with him just for that.
I’m pretty sure I’m more than halfway there already.
“Roxie,” he says softly.
“I know.”
He clenches his hands at his sides, breathing heavily through his nostrils as he tries to control his anger.
“Just…don’t go,” he offers.
“I have to,” I reply softly. “Go grab me a ramen and I’ll be right there.”
I have to give him a reason to leave. A tell that he will see me again.
“Promise?” he asks, and I see Asher come around the corner, looking around frantically.
He makes eye contact with me as I look over Ty’s shoulder.
He knows.
I can’t not go. And I can see that Asher understands it. His shoulders drop and his eyes close in reluctant acceptance. He starts walking our way and I breathe a little easier. Asher will be there for Ty.
“I’ll do everything I can.” I don’t want to lie to him, but they probably won’t let me out of their sight. It’s happened before. If they see me, by law someone has to follow me until I’m in the new guardian’s custody.
“You look like you’re saying goodbye,” he says softly, cupping my face gently and looking at me with such helpless sadness, I feel tears prick at my eyes.
“I don’t want to,” I whisper with tears in my voice. “But it’s not my choice, Ty.”
Asher’s right behind him and he reaches out to put a hand on Ty’s shoulder, but the moment he touches him, Ty shakes it off.
“What can I do?” he asks. He looks trapped in those dark eyes of his, and I can see the helplessness. He’s drowning in it, the mask he usually wears is nowhere in sight today.
“Nothing. There’s nothing to do.” I give him a sad smile.
“Give me something, anything. A phone number, email, anything.” He turns to Asher, “Get me a pen, paper, hurry.”
Asher pulls his backpack off quickly, and searches through.
There’s a staticky crackle through the intercom again and I know my time is running out.
“Roxanne Westin, to the office. Roxanne Westin to the office. This is your second warning.”
Fuck.
“Here.” Asher hands it to Ty quickly, who passes it to me.
“Please,” Ty adds softly.
This is a moment that could go either way. I could tell him no, guard my heart against potential hurt and leave this chapter…or I could give in. Let the potential heartbreak happen.
But maybe I could keep him?
I make the choice quickly. I write my email down and the current phone number I have but I doubt it’ll be in service much longer. It’s on Becky and Tom’s plan.
“Here,” I say, handing him back the paper. “Whatever happens… It’s okay.”
“Come here,” he whispers, pulling me in with one hand on my waist and wrapping the other around my neck, slipping his fingers into my hair while he’s at it, pulling me to him like we’re in a movie.
His lips press against mine roughly, and the emotion behind it is so powerful that everything else falls away.
Ty presses his body harder against mine as he deepens the kiss, showing me through his kiss how much he feels. For me.
It’s too much. It’s too much. This is already going to hurt.
Pulling back, I have to force myself to leave. I have to yank my body from his, leaving him trailing after me in such a way that says he wasn’t ready for it to end. I wasn’t either.
“Thank you,” I say because that’s all I have right now. “Thank you.” I repeat my words but the intention this time is completely different. I’m not just thanking him for the kiss or choosing me. I’m thanking him for making me feel accepted, included, wanted.
All things I didn’t know people could feel about me.
I look over his shoulder to Asher and repeat my thanks.
“I drew some things for you. They’re in your sketchbook,” he says quickly, and I step back. My heart fills with joy, even in the midst of this hell.
I wish I had something to give him. Anything small to give him that would remind him of me.
He holds my hand as I stretch back, but my eye catches on my bracelet. The one I don’t take off.
“Here,” I say suddenly, untying the leather cord and wrapping it around his wrist.
“I can’t—” he starts to say, but I shush him.
“Please,” I whisper. “Just… You don’t have to keep it on, or even keep it if you don’t want to, but I want you to have it.
I know the meaning… The reason why I had it was not a happy one, but with you, I found a happy place.
My new favorite. The one place, the one person, who wanted me to stay.
” It fucking hurts to say that and know that I’m going to be ripped away.
Ty lets me tie it onto his wrist and I add an extra knot. Just to be annoying if he decides to take it off. Give the guy extra time to think if he really wants to do that.
From the way he’s looking–face downturned, jaw clenched and chest heaving as his eyes screw shut for just a moment–he understands. Asher comes up behind him, looking sad for his friend and ready to hold him back if he needs to.
“I have to go,” I sigh shakily.
“I wish you didn’t.” He cups my cheek, his thumb running over my cheekbone gently and presses a kiss to my lips. You can have two seconds, Roxie. Two and then you have to go.
One. I don’t want this to end.
Two. It never really got a chance to begin.
I pull myself back with an intake of breath, the kind you hear right before a sob, and I turn on my heel. I can’t look back.
I know that if I do, I might not recover.