Chapter 6
She’s leaving.
This firecracker of a girl who came into my life, blew everything up, and is now leaving.
Her soft snores fill my ears, accompanying the sounds of the crickets and the odd car passing by where we’re hidden away.
Fuck, her head is falling. It slowly slides off my shoulder and then she’s going to wake up with the fall.
I don’t want that to happen. Roxie seems like she doesn’t sleep easily, and she basically fell asleep the moment I told her that I’d watch over her.
No, I’m not letting her wake up like that. Falling? No, that’s one of the worst ways to wake up.
“I’m just going to move you so you can lay down,” I murmur softly, shifting over, and holding her head as I slowly move it downward. With her head positioned on my lap and her shoulder tucked under my thigh so that she’s comfortable.
“Gorgeous,” I whisper, brushing a black lock of hair out of her face.
I’m not tired, even though I know I should be. I don’t want to miss this.
Thankfully the clearing has enough light that I’m able to see pretty clearly, because I notice the edge of her sketchbook peeking out of her bag of treasure. Using my foot to grab the bag, I hook it around my toes and pull it closer so I can grab her book.
Got it, I think victoriously as I feel the rough fabric of the cover under my hands. If I don’t get to be with her after this… I need a picture. I need something. I know I’ll never forget her, but I want a picture of her. Just like this so my memory doesn’t fail me.
Her pencil slips out from the drawing she was working on, and I open the page to see me.
Roxie’s so freaking talented. It’s a rough sketch, but I can clearly see that it’s me.
My too-long messy black hair, my dark eyes that don’t give much away but she’s somehow managed to capture a moment where I’m smirking, my lips quirking up on one side…
I can’t believe this is how she sees me.
Slowly, I turn the page to the next blank one and get started on my own masterpiece.
Hours go by, or it could be moments, I don’t know. I’m so focused on getting this perfect. I want a picture, a moment, a memory, to give her. To give us.
I finished the portrait of her I made of her sleeping on me. She looks like an angel wrapped in black, sass, and anger, but she’s complicated, scarred, gentle even on the inside. The moment I finished that one, I started one of us together. I hope I’ll have time to make two. One for each of us.
How she told me she thought I’d get bored of her…That won’t leave my mind.
Who the hell told this gem of a girl that she’s not worth being remembered? Being missed? I want to make them hurt.
Badly.
I shift the paper a little to see better, the moonlight isn’t the best light to work with, but it’s what I have. I draw us like this. Exactly how we are right now, but instead of me drawing her, I rest with her.
The sun starts to warm up everything around us, the safety and comfort of the darkness being stolen from us slowly. Fog starts to slowly form over the ground. It’s an eerie sight, but the rising sun means I can see her clearer.
She slept like the dead, and I couldn’t fall asleep knowing she trusted me like that.
I finish the first picture, smiling softly at it. It isn’t perfect, nothing I’d get tattooed on me, but you can see who it is. Where we are. You can see this moment.
Just as I’m about to finish the second picture, Roxie breathes deeply, moving against me. She’s waking up.
I fold the drawing I made of her and shove it in my pocket before closing her book and putting it in her backpack. Roxie rolls back, hearing the crunch of the leaves and wakes up immediately.
“Oh my god, I fell asleep.”
“It’s okay. You needed sleep.” I smile softly, trying to show her that it’s a good thing. I’m so fucking glad she fell asleep—it shows me just how much she’s comfortable with me, even if she doesn’t know if she really is.
“I’m so sorry,” she says, sitting up quickly and I immediately miss the warmth of her, of her head and shoulder pressed against me, letting me stand guard for her. I shake my head quickly and take her hands.
“Don’t be. Please, don’t be.”
Roxie’s eyebrows knit together in worry, but the longer I hold her gaze, the more she relaxes again. Finally, she nods.
“What time is it?” she asks, looking around.
“I have no idea.”
“Won’t Asher be worried?”
“No,” I say simply. It’s true, he knows I’m right where I want to be.
“Okay,” she says, yawning. “It’s early, really early.” She looks around before her eyes land back on me. “That was probably the best night sleep I’ve had in…years. Thank you.”
“Same here,” I say softly, not mentioning that I didn’t sleep a wink.
“Come on, I need to go face the music. You need to actually sleep.” She stands up, holding her hand out and bossing me around. I don’t mind at all.
“I’m fine,” I say, and I am. My neck hurts a little but that was more because I had to contort weirdly to be able to see the paper I was drawing on and stay in the position to make sure she stayed on my lap.
Not to mention that my ass has been asleep for hours so I’m not exactly sure that walking will look too attractive.
“Come on,” she groans and holds out her hand to me again. “Come with me.”
My heart beats harder. Her words have a double meaning, I can hear it.
“Let’s go.” I take her hand and let her pull me up.
“I…I wish it could be that simple,” she says gently, quietly, like she’s too afraid to speak louder. Like what she wants is something she shouldn’t.
She shouldn’t feel that way because it’s what I want too. But I have…so many people counting on me.
I cup her cheek, smiling sadly.
“I do, too. I really do.” Our foreheads press together and I lean down, more sure this time, and kiss her lips gently. Sweetly at first, before I kiss her harder.
Holding her to me gently.
This… This is going to hurt.