Chapter 12 #3
“He’s planning something. He has to be,” I say. “When I grabbed her, he brought some guys out and made an offer to give her to me for the night… For a price.” The words taste like bile on my tongue and I’m thrown into the memory of how he looked; the evil smirk, the calculating look as he turned.
Asher breathes deeply, his arms crossing over his chest tighter.
“If you don’t kill him, I might.”
“If that’s something he said, I can’t imagine what he’s done.” My heart aches, the anger and need are too much.
“You don’t want to know.” A soft voice comes from the couch but she doesn’t sit up, just lets it be known that she did not fall back asleep like we thought.
“Roxie,” I say breathlessly, pushing up to come sit with her, but she stops me.
“No, stay… Stay there. This will be easier to say if I can’t see you.” At her words I stop, breathing softly but warring with myself to not run to her side. Because she asked me not to.
“Okay, baby,” I say softly, sitting back down noisily on the chair so she knows I did what she asked.
“It was fine for a little while, livable. And then…then Mickey found out I could fight. And he tightened the reins. I told you this earlier, Ty, but I’ll say it again so Asher knows.
” I can hear her swallow from here, giving herself a moment to gather her thoughts.
“I got there, and… And the parents–no the guardians, because there’s a fucking difference–basically ignored me the moment that Mickey said he would take over.
I got a dirty futon, some noodles in a cup and told that I start school the next morning.
It was jarring, but not unfamiliar. I endure, don’t I?
” she asks us, voice breaking in a way that breaks my fucking heart, and I want to stand up.
So fucking badly.
I want to cross the room and rush to her side, hold her while she tells us the hell she endured.
But she asked me not to.
So instead, I grit my teeth and hold onto the table like I could crush the old wood easily.
“It was fine for a while, awkward, uncomfortable, but… But then I noticed he changed the rules of the game. He started withholding meals if I was rude or standoffish. He started rationing drinking water when I pissed him off. He took away the curtain I had half-assedly put up to give myself some privacy in the corner of the room they gave me. And that’s when I knew I was in for some tough times.
” I can hear her swallow, trying to push the memories down and I growl, softly.
I try to pull the noise back in, or at least get a fucking handle on it, but it’s already out.
Asher smacks my shoulder and looks at me with a shocked expression. “Shut the fuck up,” he mouths at me.
I nod aggressively and flip him off because I know. I fucking know, but just hearing her in that… Knowing she lived it and she’s not even told us the worst of it yet makes me want to fucking light shit on fire.
“It was… I think maybe a year and a half after I started living with them that he came to me in the night for the first time. He…” My entire being stands on edge.
I look to Asher and see him stiffen as well.
“The first time, I landed a few hits, but I took more than I gave and I learned quickly. It wasn’t…
” Her voice breaks and so does my resolve.
I stand up, but I see her hand shoot up from the couch. “Don’t. Please.”
I’m so angry, my words slip into Spanish easily. “She’s going to kill me. I’m going to kill him, I swear to fucking god. Mark my words,” slips under my breath angrily.
“Sit the fuck down, Ty.” Asher pulls at my arm, but I can see the edge in his eyes. This isn’t easy for him either.
“I’m sorry,” Roxie whispers, “Just let me get this out without seeing your faces. I can’t… I know how I feel but I don’t need to see how your views on me change.”
“Roxie.” My words tumble out at that, at how broken she sounds. “Roxie, you listen to me right the hell now. Nothing, nothing, will make me—” Asher smacks my arm again and I roll my eyes. “Us, think of you any differently. Okay, baby? I promise. You did nothing wrong.”
“You don’t know… I… I’m so fucking… After the first, I don’t know, five times.
” My fingers tighten into fists so tightly, I’m sure the skin is close to splitting.
“I gave up fighting him. Nothing I did changed the outcome. I tried fighting him, I tried being gross, I tried everything I could think of, but he kept coming. The bruising, the hurt, the agony, the fear… I just closed my eyes and pretended I was—” Her voice silences quickly like she’s afraid she revealed too much.
“It’s okay,” I whisper softly. I stand up, and go to the doorway, still hidden, but on edge. Ready to run to her when she lets me. My hand wraps around the trim and I hold myself there, like that flimsy little piece of wood is going to hold me back.
“I’m so weak because I was so tired. So tired of fighting for everything and I… I didn’t see a way out.” I hear her voice flatten, like she’s dissociating to keep herself safe. “I realized if I wanted out, I needed money. And money is something I didn’t have to get out. So I… started stealing.”
She says it like it’s something wrong, not something she should be proud of surviving.
“I went from store to store. At first, just taking small things. A bag of chips here, some cookies, something small and easy and calorie dense. But I got better at it. Eventually I start hitting bigger places, pawn shops and even a house or two. Adding cat-burglery to my ever growing bag of things I should be proud of.” Her voice cracks, and I can hear how disappointed she is in herself.
Like she’s holding herself to some higher standard without realizing how much shit she was going through.
My fingers curl into the trim, even tighter this time, and I swear the wood is going to splinter soon.
She lets out a breathless laugh, trembling and broken, a sound that I can tell is stitched together with frayed edges of a sob she’s refusing to let fall. Fuck.
“Keep going, I’m right here,” I say, whispering, pushing as much emotion and support as I can into the words without scaring her. Asher sits behind me, a gentle storm cloud forming. He’s angry and protective to a fault, so hearing this… Especially about someone he sees as a friend...
“I got too comfortable. I got caught. I got caught and they took me to jail. And you know what guys? I was relieved. I was able to go into a small cell and be safe, if even for a moment. I remember trying not to smile when they pushed my head down so I could get into the car. The red and blue lights flashing in the darkness as the cops escorted me into the car. I was so fucking happy.”
My heart breaks slightly. Guilt, frustration, and the undeniable need to hold her close.
Because I understand.
“They took me into the station, started the whole booking process and then… Then Mickey walked in,” she says, a sob pulling from her throat.
The sound is a beacon, a snap for me. I let go of the trim and I fucking dart to her side.
I know she didn’t want to see me, but I’ll be damned if I let her go through this alone again.
“I’m here, carino,” I whisper, as I drop to my knees by her side. Her eyes, watery and red-rimmed, pull me in faster than I ever thought I could move. “Roxie,” I say softly, holding her hand gently. “You’re not alone. Not anymore. Tell me, tell us, but let me help you.”
She looks at me, her dark eyes so full of her exhaustion, but that determined grit to keep going. Keep pushing. She’s breathtaking, even with the swollen eye and broken nose that’s bruising already. She’s pure fucking spite and fire.
Just like I remember.
“Promise?” she whispers the aching word so softly I swear it breaks me.
“I promise. With everything I am, I promise you.”
“He walked in and said; “Let’s go home.” They all let him take me like it was normal.
His fucking wolfish grin will forever be imprinted in my nightmares.
Like someone who was given permission to eat the whole fucking cake while everyone else was waiting for a piece.
And right then, right at that exact moment, I knew I was trapped. Owned. Fucked.”
I do everything I can to school my features.
But mentally, I’m already strangling Mickey with my bare fucking hands.
“He paid my bail. Got the store to drop the charges to keep it off my record.” My breathing turns shallow as I really take in what that meant, means.
“The seven grand,” I say softly.
“Yeah,” she sobs. “I think in the three years I’ve been trying to pay him off, I’ve gotten two grand down. But it just never gets smaller than five thousand.”
I wonder if I can just pay it off and be done. I can…somehow figure out a way to get that kind of cash.
Maybe.
But honestly, Mickey wouldn’t let that happen. He’s a petty, grudge-holding motherfucker. I could pay him off and he’d still find some fucking way to get his nasty grip on her.
“Okay,” I say softly, nodding. “Okay.”
“What?” she says quickly, her head coming off the pillow in urgency. “What do you mean ‘okay’?”
“I mean,” I lift her hurting hand to kiss her knuckles softly. “We’ll make a plan. We’ll be smart about this and we’ll get you out. I’m not leaving you alone in this. Not again. Not now that I know.”
“Mickey’s got it out for Ty, but we’ve beaten him before.” Asher says loudly from the kitchen and I want to fucking throw a book at him. Roxie’s eyes widen and mine harden.
I think, This goddamn stupid boy.
I turn and face him, every bit of my anger burning him where he stands.
“What?” Roxie asks, the panic coming again.
“I just meant that we know how to handle Mickey,” Asher says quickly, standing up from the table and trying to fix the fuck-up his stupid mouth made.
I finally had her calm and trusting me. One word from him and her walls are slamming right back up. I don’t know how I’m going to get him back for this, but it’s coming.
“What do you mean he has a thing for you?” She ignores Asher, turning her attention to me.
I sigh roughly, nearly groaning because this is not something I wanted to share with her just yet. But she asked, and she deserves total honesty. Running my hand over my head, I nod.
“Maybe a week after you were moved, Mickey set up a fight between his fighter and me. They thought I would be an easy target, a way to boost Nathan’s standing. Well, I knocked Nathan out like the little bitch he is in half a minute and it embarrassed Mickey.”
“Is Nathan still alive?” she asks seriously and I haven’t even thought of him since the day I watched him limp out of the Underground.
“I assume so,” I shrug, “I haven’t seen him in fights since then.”
“He’s gone,” she whispers. “Dead, there’s no way Mickey would let that slide.”
My eyes widen and there’s a stitch of guilt that runs through me. I should’ve thought about it sooner, but I push it aside. I can’t focus on it right now. Not when she’s on the edge like this.
“I’ll find out, okay?”
“Not only that…” Asher adds in, unhelpfully and I feel the muscle in my jaw pop from how hard I clench my teeth.
“Not only that,” I say tightly, turning to throw him a nasty look, “but he’s been trying to trap me somehow so that he can use me to throw fights.”
“He’s going to kill me. He’s going to kill me, and then kill you.” Roxie looks terrified and I cup her jaw gently.
I chuckle, not at her, but at that I’d let Mickey in her orbit ever again. At my chuckle, her eyes turn towards me and sharpen. A little bit of that fire straight from Roxie that tells me she’s in there.
Just protecting herself.
“Never again will you be with Mickey alone. Absolutely not going to happen. So don’t worry, Rox, you’re going to live a long, long life,” I say confidently, sitting back a little.
With me, my brain adds but I shake that off. Not the fucking time.
“Do you think,” she snaps, all steel and pure strength in her tone, “that that matters? You don’t think that the moment that I step out of here, or hell, you guys go to work and leave me behind that it will matter what you want to happen?
No, no, no,” she says the words quickly, chuckling darkly without humor as she explains.
“If you’re on his radar, and he knows that I’m with you, we’re all fucked. ”
Asher and I look at each other, and his eyes tell me all I need to know.
We’re not backing down.
Not with her in the balance.
“Roxie, carino, we’ll cross that bridge when it comes. But know that without a doubt, we’re behind you. I’m in your corner. No one else’s.”
Roxie looks at me like I’m a puzzle she can’t quite solve, her eyebrows narrowing slightly.
“I promise you.” I put as much feeling, as much emotion as I can in those three words. No room for second-guessing, no room for her noble sacrifices anymore. It’s my turn.
“Can you give me the address and I’ll get your stuff?” I ask her softly.
“No, Ty, you can’t.” She grabs my hand that’s holding hers with her other, holding me in place.
“You’re not going back, and you need your stuff, Roxie.
There’s not a choice here, and even if there was one, I’d still do this.
So, tomorrow, after you’ve slept and actually rested, you’ll tell me the address and Asher and I will figure out how to get it.
Safely.” I add the last word to help negate her guilt, her need to take on the pain to shield it from me.
Her eyes flicker across the room, to Asher, who stands there with his arms crossed like he’s some bodyguard and watches him nod once. With no hesitation.
“Okay,” she whispers.
I don’t love that she’s said the word like she’s reluctant, like she’s really, truly, actually not wanting me to do this for her. But in this moment, I know that she’s fighting within herself and I’m going to be damned if Mickey takes one more fucking thing from her.
“Okay,” I repeat and look at her softly. “It’s going to be okay now.” I say those words as a promise, and I don’t intend to break it.
Roxie’s lip twitches slightly and a tear falls out of the corner of her eye, I move a hand and wipe it away with the pad of my thumb.
“No more running, Roxie. Let me help.”
She bites her lip, but winces with the pain like she forgot for a moment how hurt she is, and then nods.
“Okay.”