Chapter 36
Ty’s coming back today.
Ty.
The big, burly fucker who’s the love of my life and the source of these recent head–and heart–aches.
He’s coming back to work at the shop today. My guy is coming back today.
No–stop that. He’s not yours anymore, Roxie. Get it together. I take a deep breath and resist the urge to check my hair or makeup for the tenth time.
Asher let me open the shop today and I nearly cried when he gave me a key. Although he did threaten me within an inch of my life to keep his baby safe and sound. As if I was a child and going to throw a rager at my place of employment.
Well, wait a minute, a good party sounds like something that would heal my soul.
Especially making out with a hot stranger.
That might fix my broken heart.
I walk past the mirror and stop.
“You motherfucker, just do what I want,” I snap, working to fix the one space bun that just won’t lay fucking right, and realize that no amount of one night stands or flirting or whatever is going to fix the Ty-sized hole in my heart.
But damn, he made his choice and I have to live with it.
I know he still lives with Asher, but that big goof of a brother I’ve adopted had to be all “respectful” and “protective” and only gave me bare-bones information. The only thing that the usual loud mouth told me other than about Ty’s moms brother was that he was finally home after six weeks.
And that today was going to be his first day back. So he’s scheduled for the walk-ins while I finish up my last few trials of the apprenticeship under Asher’s stewardship. Today I’m tattooing Asher’s arm, just a small little thing on the back of his bicep, but still, it’s a big step.
Mentally checking off each bit of the morning opening shift list that Asher left on the counter to make sure it’s done perfectly, I grab my sketchbook and open up to the portrait of Athena I want to get done with my first big paycheck.
It’s very well done, and if it was for a client, I’d say okay and move on.
But, for me, I can’t help feeling like there’s something missing.
I redraw some of the lines, adjust the shading on some things, but I just… I can’t figure out what’s wrong.
The door opens, the now familiar ring of the bell hanging over head drawing my attention to the front.
My breath catches in my throat and I swear, my heart stops beating.
Asher quickly walks through the door, but behind him…behind him is Ty. Daddy, my mind whispers in a small broken tone that makes me cringe even though I didn’t say anything out loud.
I’ve thought about this moment for weeks.
I’ve… debated exactly what I should do. What I should say.
But it all hinges on what he says first.
Will he apologize and fall to his knees, asking me to forgive him?
Will he shrug and ignore me, acting cold and aloof?
Will he smile and be shy as if he’s trying to feel me out?
Or worst of all, will he not even register me? Will I become invisible to him?
The blood rushes in my ears making it hard to hear anything except my own heartbeat. Time slows down, and if feels as if Ty’s been walking through the front door for hours. Enough time for me to check him out and still flash my eyes to Asher before Ty notices.
He looks good. So good.
Freshly showered, and delicious. His normally buzzed hair is longer than I’ve seen in a while, but I can tell from the way he’s brushing his fingers through it that it’s bothering him. The fitted black tee hugs this broad chest seductively and I inhale, trying to keep myself from making a sound.
Has he gotten bigger? He’s always been muscular, but goddamn…
He’s looking around, searching, and I avert my eyes just as I feel his gaze settle on me.
Fuck me, why does he have to look so goddamn good? The asshole. Couldn’t have looked bad for one damn day so I could stay mad at him? Prick.
I tell him off in my mind, while tipping my chin up to Asher who’s speed walking towards me, handoutstretched.
“Key, Rox,” he says quickly, desperately.
“Relax, Ashe. It’s not like I was going to lose…that,” I say, making a show of checking my pockets, my desk, even my cleavage before pulling the shop key from the front pocket of my jeans.
“Ha ha, very funny,” he deadpans, wrapping his fingers around the key like he’s Golum holding the one ring.
“I thought it was.” I smirk, crossing my arms over my chest, subtly (or maybe not so subtly) trying to draw attention to the way my white tank top showcases my tits.
“Roxie,” Ty’s gravelly voice breaks through just as Asher starts to open his mouth.
All the air is sucked out of the room, because he said my name and I slowly turn to face him for the first time in weeks.
“Terecino,” I say, cocking one eyebrow, trying to not give away any feelings one way or another. I might love the bastard, but I’m still going to be a brat. And he pissed me off.
His eyes narrow and the barest of smirks makes the corner of his mouth tip up.
“Roxanne,” he says, matching my sass and I pretend to scowl at him. His mouth opens like he wants to say something else, but… I really don’t think I’m quite ready to hear it yet. Especially with Asher standing so close and being such a nosy fucker.
Turning sharply towards Asher, I speak before Ty can.
“Everything’s been good, quiet actually.
I was kinda hoping that I’d get to have at least one walk-in before you got in so I could show off my skills,” I tease him lightly, turning back towards my notebook on the counter and before I go to close it, Ty’s beat me there, putting his hand over the drawing of Athena to prevent me from closing it.
“Wait,” his normally loud voice whispers and the way it sounds so desperate makes me stall.
“I’m sure you’ll get plenty of chances, Roxie.” Asher nods, walking over to his desk and putting his bag down before getting himself set up for the day. “Good job, Westin.”
His praise makes me smile and I nod in appreciation, but turn back to gaze at the frustrated–and frustrating–Latino in front of me that’s staring down at the drawing like it could save him.
“I’ve seen this before.” He doesn’t look up at me, just keeps staring down.
“Yeah,” I say softly, nodding.
“God, baby, your skills have improved so much,” he mutters under his breath, turning the book around so he can see it. “This is different from the one you posted,” he says louder, clearly meaning for me to hear this one.
He’s seen that?
“Yeah, I love that one, but this one is one that… Well, recently, it has felt right.” I sigh, looking down at it.
Athena’s standing tall and beautiful, the half of her that we can see is flawless, strong, perfect.
But the part that’s away from focus is broken.
Fractured and dark as if all the pain and sacrifice that she’s had to endure has caused her to splinter.
“It’s…beautiful. In the most heartbreaking way,” Ty says softly, looking up at me slowly as if he’s worried if he looks at me too quickly I’ll run.
“I was trying to show duality. How even though something is beautiful on the outside, you never know what’s eating at them on the inside.
” My eyes drift down to the tear tracks on the broken side’s face, and my heart clenches.
“You never know if they’re barely holding on, or if they’re already broken just because they’re smiling on the outside. ”
Ty’s silent, but I see his throat move as he swallows down whatever he was going to say and nods. He then finally, finally, takes his hand off my sketchbook so I can snatch it back.
Ty starts rattling off in Spanish, speaking too quickly for me to really distinguish the words before he nods at me and walks off.
What the fuck?
I start to follow him, but stop. This isn’t on me to fix. I didn’t do anything wrong, he did. If he wants to fix it, he’s going to need to come to me.
If he wanted to, he would. I’ve learned that a few times over, haven’t I? And the worst, most painful part of all–Ty used to be the one who went above and beyond to show me he cares. Well, cared.
As I watch his shoulders hunch over while he stomps into the back room, the door shutting loudly behind him. I bite my lip nervously. Out of all the ways I saw this going in my head, it didn’t go like this. Him giving me a compliment and then cursing me out in Spanish before walking off.
In my fantasies, he lifted me up after I slapped him and we started kissing right there.
In my nightmares, he yelled at me, telling me to get out, that I was nothing.
But this? This…in-between? I didn’t anticipate this.
It’s weird. It's slightly unsettling. But, it’s something we’re going to work through because, fuck, I’ve made a home here and I’m not leaving it.