Chapter 41
This might be the worst date I’ve ever been on in my life. What was I thinking? I usually vet the assholes better than this.
Whatever-his-name is going on and on about politics, how women are asking for too much and how he’s looking for a woman who’s feminine to his masculine. Like fucking excuse me?
He brushes his orangey-blonde hair off his forehead and leans back against the booth with one arm stretched out like he thinks he’s bigger than he is. You just know that this fucker is going to have a shrimp-dick and claim that it’s the ‘biggest I’ve ever seen’.
Cue the eyeroll.
“You’re not the kind of girl I usually go for,” he says with a predatory smirk as his eyes trace over me like he’s inspecting his prize.
What the hell? How did I get him so wrong?
The little soft moment between Jade and Asher today must have affected me more than I thought because I just said yes to this human stain when I would’ve normally said no.
“Lucky me,” I raise my eyebrows and take a drink of my water.
“I think so. Normally, I like them a little more…demure. But those girls are also usually freaks in the bedroom. Are you a freak in the bedroom?” he asks, smirking at me with one eyebrow cocked in a way he thinks is enticing.
I’m so done.
“You know what, I don’t know what I’m doing here. You are not who I thought you’d be and there’s not a way in hell that this is going anywhere but towards a lawsuit.” I start standing up, but he huffs a humorless laugh.
“You think I’d sue you?”
“I think you’d try.” I lean over the table after I grab my purse so that he can hear me clearly, “After I knock your shit out and remind you not to speak about women like that again.”
He guffaws, a forced fake laugh that makes me clench my hands into fists and grit my teeth.
“Like you could take me.”
Oh, this little fucking bitch, my inner voice sneers. Without thinking, I grab his wrist, twisting it and forcing his head to hit the table with a clattering thunk.
“Don’t judge a book by its cover. You might get smacked over the head with it. You fucking ignorant asshole.” He whimpers as I twist his arm tighter before letting go. “Thanks for the water.”
“You bitch,” he snaps at me as he looks around to make sure no one else saw the beating he just got at the hands of a girl.
I don’t give him another moment of my time. He’s not worth it.
None of them are.
Except the one that doesn’t want me.
Fuck this shit. I storm out of the bar, keeping my eyes focused on my exit plan and my head down.
I don’t need any more attention or trouble tonight.
I’ll head home, drown my sorrows in ice cream and my vibrator–that’s suspiciously as long and around as girthy as Ty is– and try again tomorrow to pretend that someone will make me feel as whole as the man who walked away from me.
I’m not that far from my place. I just moved into my own apartment after a few years at Harriet’s. It’s peak location, close to Ashes, close to the bar, close to the diner and therefore, Harriet.
Five minute walk, no problem.
I slip my arms through the worn fabric of my favorite plaid shirt–no comment from anyone about where it’s from, I’m serious– and pull it tightly around my body. If I really, really, really, pretend I might be able to imagine Ty’s arms around me.
I keep my head down, but let that sense I know all women have on high alert for anyone trying to get the jump on me.
I pass by the alleyway before my apartment and I’m almost in the clear, I can see my front door, and two arms wrap around me. One around my waist and one around my mouth, dragging me into the alley.
I can’t… I don’t… Everything stops. I… What do I do?
I do the one thing I never wanted to do in this situation.
I freeze.
“Not so fucking tough now, huh?” The guy from the bar growls in my ear, his foul, beer breath fills my nostrils as my breathing quickens.
“Thought I was just going to let you embarrass me like that? I’m the man.
I’m the man. You’re a woman, a weak woman.
You’ll do what I tell you to and you’ll like it.
Now get on your knees,” he orders, wrapping his hand around my neck so hard I start to pass out.
Why won’t my body react? I’ve fought plenty of men, I’ve… I can’t do anything.
“I’m going to give you one second to get your hands off her, or I’ll put you in the ground so fucking deep no one will be able to find you. Ever.” a dark, accented voice states clearly through the air.
A voice I’d know anywhere.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” The guy holding me sneers at Ty, pulling me to him tighter.
“This was your choice.” Ty lunges forward, his big hands grabbing the arms of my attacker and ripping them off me in one motion like they were made of velcro rather than a human man with minimal muscle.
He–stupidly–starts to charge at Ty, even though there’s a good three inches of height difference and Ty probably has a good 25lbs on him, probably more.
My attacker lunges, but Ty’s a pro. He dodges and grabs his arm, twisting it hard behind the guy’s back. Ty throws out a kidney jab and my attacker grunts, trying to absorb the sound of pain that wants to escape.
“Real men don’t show they’re hurting, huh?” I can’t help but snark at him. And it gets his attention. The blonde ass growls at me, baring his teeth like he wants to rip my throat out.
“Is that what he said? That he’s a real man?” Ty asks incredulously, huffing a laugh in disbelief.
“Oh yeah, he’s a real man, and I should be more of a girly-girl and let him tell me what to do. I guess embarrassing him at the bar was the last straw for his fragile male ego and so he thought jumping me was my penance.”
The moment those words leave my lips I see the absolute rage engulf Ty. He was already mad, already willing to hurt this guy simply for attacking, but now?
Now he was out for blood.
And I find it…erotic.
Ty twists the guy's arm another inch, just enough to make the joint pop. He cried out this time, a sharp, broken sound that made me feel vindicated.
“Any man who feels like they get to tell a woman how to be, is no man at all,” Ty says darkly, voice low and deadly. “You don’t get to look at her. And you definitely don’t get to threaten her and walk away breathing.”
My attacker thrashes, panic finally setting in. “Man, listen—”
Ty slams him into the brick wall, his forearm pinning him there, elbow grinding into the joint until the guy shakes. Ty’s control is worse than rage—it’s measured, deliberate. And it looks like pure unadulterated death with the face of the man I love.
I can’t let him do something he might regret. I touch Ty’s wrist firmly to try and ground him.
“Ty,” I whisper.
But he doesn’t look at me.
“You’ve made your point.” I step closer to him, my chest touching his side. “If you go further, you won’t be able to forgive yourself.”
That gets his attention.
Ty turns his head just enough to see me, to look me in the eyes. He’s not frozen, he’s right here with me.
Slowly, Ty releases the guy, letting him fall from his grip.
He sags; choking, and sliding down the wall like he’s forgotten how his legs work.
Ty leans down, voice pitched so low that I wouldn't have been able to hear if I wasn’t standing that close, but this guy could clearly hear his threat. “If I hear that you’ve so much as looked at her,” he murmured, “I will make sure your body disappears. I have and I can.”
Then Ty steps back, wrapping an arm around my waist protectively and pressing his nose into my hair. When he takes a steadying breath, I exhale. The tension finally draining from my body when he chooses me, not retribution.
My eyes don’t leave the attacker though as he glares at me, holding his neck as he scampers away. Good, he should go back to the hole he climbed out of.
When it was just us, Ty finally turns me so I can see him fully. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I say gently with a nod.
Ty searches my face intently, both hands coming to cup my face.
“Did he touch you?”
“No,” I say strongly. Still very annoyed with myself that I froze, but I take a deep breath to answer him softly, “You scared him though. You made me think I was going to witness a murder.”
Ty’s mouth twitches—brief, dangerous before his eyes dip down to my lips. “Good.”
It’s like all the energy between us zings and snaps. Like we can’t…stop. He steps in closer and it's like two magnets slowly shifting together. Like moths to a flame.
Inevitable.
His eyes lock onto mine and he steps closer, our noses brushing together before I take one last breath and he kisses me.
His hand is still in my hair when the door opens.
We stumble through it together, mouths crashing, heavy breaths between kisses as the frame shudders from the force.
How did the door open? I think, but my brain is so fucking fuzzy. All that I’m able to think about is his hands on me. I’ve missed him. I’ve missed him so fucking much.
I barely have time to gasp before my back hits the wall inside my apartment. The front door swings wildly before slamming closed.
“God, Ty,” I groan, looking up to the ceiling but his lips attach to my neck and I stifle a cry. “Please.”
“Please what?”
“Please Daddy, I’ve missed you so much.”
The words tumble out of my mouth before my brain catches up. I swallow my nerves down, straighten my shoulders in preparation for him to push me away. It’s been years since I called him that… And I could cry from how right it feels.
Ty leans down and grabs the back of my thighs, pulling me up and impossibly closer until there’s no space between us.
“Carino,” he growls-sighs against my lips and I shiver at the nickname. “I’ve missed you more than you know.”
“Then show me,” I say softly as I press my lips to his. That one small movement set us off like fireworks. An explosion of tongues and teeth, hands and grabs, thrusts and moans.
He pushes me harder into the wall and moves down my body, working me over until I’m screaming his name with my taste on his tongue.
I should’ve known even in a reunion–or whatever this is–we wouldn’t make it to the bedroom.
The fucking sun shines in my eyes, just annoying enough that I swat at it and turn over. I don’t want to wake up yet. I finally slept well for the first time in years, and I could easily sleep another few hours.
Hell, I don’t have to work today, maybe I’ll sleep all day.
Ty.
My eyes pop open and my hand darts out to the other side of the bed, but…it’s cold.
He’s gone.
Before tears can line my eyes, rage fills my chest.
“That son of a fucking asshole, motherfucking, infected dickhole of a man who thinks he’s so fucking smart and sexy and he goddamn knows it.
I’m gonna find him and I’m gonna wring his fucking neck to show him not to mess with me again.
What he thinks he can be prince fucking charming and then say ‘oh surprise’ my armor’s dulled with dirt not actually shining.
This motherfucker!” I grumble, using all the curse words and feeling slightly like Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation, I go to sit up, only to feel the bed dip next to me.
“Wow, that was impressive.” He smirks. That perfectly, beautiful annoying ass smirk that I’ve missed so much it hurts.
Silence.
“Thought I’d left?” He smiles, his white teeth shining and his dark eyes full of that teasing, light humor I was so used to.
“Maybe.”
“I’d never do that to you, Roxie. Ever.”
I gesture to the empty spot next to me. “You have to admit, it looked bad.”
“Okay, okay, chica, I’ll give you that,” he chuckles and my heart drops through my stomach.
Chica. Not carino.
“I have to go to work. Thank you for… Well, thank you, Roxie. I’ll see you at Ashes later?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I don’t think it was this. I thought this would either force us back together or rip us further apart.
Maybe this is going to be a new standstill for us. And… I don’t know how to handle it.
I can feel my throat start to close, tears and sobs on the very close horizon. I’m going to fall apart.
“Yeah,” I say shortly, looking down and playing with the edge of my comforter. “I’ll see you there. And thank you, for last night. For saving me.”
“I’ll always save you. No matter what.” The words float between us like a vow and this fucker needs to get out of my house before I cry.
Ty pats my thigh over the covers and leaves.
Just like that.
Like he hadn’t had me bent in fucking half as he pounded into me last night.
Like we were just buddies.
Shaking my head and falling back against the comfy bed that now seems a lot less inviting, I take a deep breath.
If I can’t have him fully, maybe… Maybe I could try to be satisfied with this? Just this.
If I want him, I have to be.