CHAPTER 9
JAY
“Man, that was a good one, but we could do better. The hook was a bit flat toward the end,” Pete said through the microphone on the other end of the glass window. Pete was a brilliant producer and sound engineer who had worked with some of my favorite artists. We’d been friends with him for a few years now, and we called him right away to help us with the record.
I nodded; he was right. It didn’t come out like I had hoped.
Making a record wasn’t easy, but that was the fun of it.
It was all about figuring out the ways that we could make shit work, tweaking and tuning till we got it right. And I fucking loved the process. Now that the creative control depended on us, it was an exhilarating rush.
“Fine, can we take a break now?” Mikey groaned, placing his bass guitar on the stand as he exited the studio. “Can’t believe that Lan fucker got to escape this.”
We still didn’t have a clue what the hell was going on with Lan, but at least he’d texted us, saying he needed some time off but would be back soon .
“You always want a break,” Matty commented, following Mikey.
I set my headphones aside and stepped out of the recording room.
Matty and Mikey were still bickering when I sank down on the huge cloud couch and chugged an entire bottle of water. Pete and I exchanged glances as we both rolled our eyes at those two.
My eyes trailed over the massive equipment lined up, taking up the entire wall facing the glass window to the studio. It was a music producer’s dream.
When we planned to move here, we decided we wanted a studio close to us, so we bought the top two floors of Blueline. This initially was a five-bed apartment that we renovated for ourselves, with a state-of-the-art recording studio with every possible equipment and instrument. It was all dark wood and modern decor. The place also had our own office spaces and a comfortable lounge for us to hang out.
“Pete’s right. The lyrics are incredible, but the composing still needs some work,” Matty said after smacking Mikey in the head for his crude comment about the female anatomy. “I’ll start working on it and see if I can come up with anything different.”
We all nodded. Matty was incredible when it came to production and composing, while Lan and I were good with the lyrics.
“I already have an idea,” Mikey mumbled, rushing off to grab his bass guitar. A serious expression morphed on his face when he came out of the studio and played a different bass riff for the hook that sounded much better than what we were doing before. Mikey doesn’t like to show it off, but he was the most gifted musician out of the four of us—some would call him a prodigy.
“Good one,” Matty said, rolling his drumsticks in his hands. “That was amazing, Mikey.”
Mikey grinned. “Made you call me amazing.”
I shook my head but agreed with Matty. It was good; more than good, actually.
Just then, my phone buzzed with the slither of notifications, the sound almost ominous as the vibrations racked the wooden table.
“Fuck man, is that yours?” Pete asked, wheezing out a breath. “It’s been doing that for a while.”
Something didn’t sit right with my chest as I stood and walked over to my vibrating phone. Matty and Mikey both gave me a look that said they knew exactly what was going on in my head.
My panic doubled when I saw that I had missed a bunch of calls from Evelyn and Tyler.
Evy- Jay, so I went out for a walk and there’s a man with a camera asking me questions. I don’t know who he is but there are like a bunch of people here all staring at me. It’s weird. Can you send Tyler?
Tyler- Sir, the paps found her. I’m heading there now.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I cursed, storming out.
“Emmie, what’s wrong, man?” Mikey asked, chasing me.
But I wasn’t even thinking as I dialed Tyler’s number. “Where is she? I’m on my way.” I kept pressing the elevator button frantically.
Matty and Mikey both peered at me with worried eyes .
“She’s fine, sir. I got her in the car. ETA five minutes.”
A sigh of relief slipped past my lips, but the relief didn’t last very long because my mind was running a thousand miles thinking about all the worst possibilities. I swallowed. “Is she fine?”
I could hear him inhale sharply through the other end of the line. “Yes, sir,” he said in a hesitant tone. And I just knew that she wasn’t. I knew that it was too late, and they had already gotten to her.
I paced the parking lot like a madman as I waited for the car to arrive. Raking my fingers through my hair as frustration, and fury flooded my blood. A throbbing headache was making its way up my temples.
“Fuck, man, this is worse than we thought,” Mikey cursed, the rage evident in his tone. “All this shit they are saying about her. I think they have lost their fucking minds. I bet you a million bucks that bitch has something to do with this.”
“I think that’s a given,” Matty replied.
“Poor Evy, look at all this. She looks like a lost deer.” Mikey waved his phone around.
My heart clawed in my rib cage. I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to see her. It didn’t take long for the photos to get all over the news. I almost lost my ability to breathe when I saw the way they bombarded my girl. She looked so lost, her eyes wide with panic, her beautiful face etched in fear. The sight made me want to smash my phone against the wall.
I halted my pacing at the sound of the Range Rover swerving into the parking lot. I didn’t even think as I stepped toward the back door, every muscle in my body going rigid with tension. I swung the door open just as the car came to a stop, and my heart almost broke when I saw her inside, clutching two small paper bags to her chest, shaking like a leaf.
Her rounded eyes flew to me. “Jay,” she whispered.
“Sweetheart.” I cupped her cheek, brushing the wild hair that was hiding her face. My jaw clenched with anger when I saw a bloody gash on the underside of her chin.
Fucking hell, what the fuck did they do to my girl?
“Evelyn, are you alright?” I asked, easing her out of the car. “Here, let me take that.” I reached for the grocery bags.
“No.” She stepped back, stumbling a bit on her bad knee before she steadied herself. “I can take it. I’m fine.”
I nodded as I walked beside her. She was anything but fine. She was still trembling, her eyes unfocused as she stumbled toward the elevators.
“Hey, E,” Mikey offered her a small smile.
She jumped, not noticing him or Matty. Relief clouded her eyes as soon as she realized who it was.
“Hey, guys,” she said meekly as we all stepped inside the elevator.
They exchanged worried glances with me but didn’t say a thing as we all ascended straight to my floor.
“I’m going to go put all this away,” Evy said immediately as we entered the apartment. “I’m going to make a cake.” She nodded to herself as if she was reassuring the statement in her pretty little head. “Yes, cake, Jay. That’s what I was going to make.” Her sad brown eyes met mine before she bid goodbye to the boys and darted toward the kitchen.
My heart was heavy in my gut as I watched her leave.
“This is fucked up,” Mikey muttered, shaking his head .
They both sighed, offering me a squeeze on my shoulder and telling me to call them if I needed anything as they left.
I stood in the foyer for a minute, trying to wrap my head around all this shit that’d been screwing up our lives lately because every breath of air filling my lungs felt like a forest fire.
A bark shifted my focus from the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city. A small smile lifted my lips when my eyes landed on Strawberry, trying to get my attention with her barks and her nose pointed toward the hallway. She ran a few steps inside, trying to get me to follow her, and when I didn’t, she only barked loudly, rushing toward me and digging her teeth into my shoes.
I crouched, petting her soft fur. “I know, girl. I know.”
She whined as if she understood what I was saying. She clearly felt something was wrong with her mommy and wanted me to fix it.
“I’ll take care of her, okay?” I let out one last exhale before I rose to my feet and headed straight to the kitchen.
The sight I walked into almost crumbled me. Evy looked so sad. The gash on her chin and scrapes on her wrist looked angry and painful under the bright kitchen lights. Her hands were frantically going over all the stuff she had dumped on the kitchen counter, almost as if she was searching for something. Her eyes were wild, glazed, and panicked.
“Evy,” I said as I made my way to her, and her glassy brown eyes looked at me.
“I bought you strawberry milk,” she said, shaking her head as her lips wobbled. “I…I saw it at the store, and I know how much you love it. You don’t drink it anymore, and that makes me so sad because I know it’s because of me. So I thought I’d buy it for you. But it’s not here anymore, Jay.” She pointed a shaky finger at the counter. “It’s not here. One fell off when… th… they pushed me down.” She swallowed the sob hitching up her throat. “But I got a bunch of them, and they’re not here anymore.”
I had to force myself to remain calm because all I wanted to do was punch something at the look on her face. I loved this woman so, so much, and she didn’t deserve any of this. It felt like hell to watch her fall apart because of me.
“Hey, Evy,” I said softly, slowly wrapping my arms around her trembling body while she mumbled about the lost drink. “Evy, sweetheart. Look at me.” I brought her flush to me, hooking a finger under her chin as I lifted her gaze to mine. “It’s okay. We’ll get another one, okay? It’s alright. You’re fine now.”
“But Jay… it was right there. I got it for you,” she sobbed, tears streaming out of her eyes like a river.
“Yeah, I know.” I gently held her head to my chest as she broke apart in my arms. Her wailings filled the room, breaking my heart into a million little pieces. I rubbed smooth circles down her back as I held her tight to me.
“They called me a liar,” she said quietly as her sobs slowed down. “And your mistress. But I’m not what they say I am, right?”
Fuck. I offered a small smile as I ran my thumb along her cheek. “Evelyn, don’t let them get inside your head, okay? You are not what they say you are.”
“But it still hurts.” She sniffed, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand .
“I know, and I’m sorry. But I swear I’ll fix it. You’re fine now, and that’s all that matters, okay?”
She nodded, her lips curving into a small smile. “Okay.”
“Good.” I placed a kiss on her nose. “Now let me get that cleaned up.” I pointed at her chin. “Does it hurt?”
“No.” She shook her head, averting her gaze as she smoothed her hand over her leggings. “I should probably take a shower. I feel dirty.”
“Why don’t you go do that, and I’ll be right behind you, okay?”
She mumbled a quick yes and padded upstairs desolately. I could feel the sadness and the despair radiating off her, and it was killing me alive. I couldn’t drag my eyes away as Strawberry followed her like a protective shield, and they both disappeared down the hallway.
“Fucking hell,” I cursed, slamming my fists on the counter so hard, letting out my anger. I couldn’t even feel the pain zapping my nerves. I fucking hated watching her like this. It made me feel helpless, like I couldn’t do anything, and most of all, the knife plunged deeper into my heart that she was in this state because of me. Once again . Because of some sick bitch who was obsessed with me.
Shaking out of it, I streamlined all my anger to focus on her. All that was important at this moment was making sure she was okay. Knowing a mug of coffee would make her feel better, I powered the machine and went in search of the first-aid kit. As soon as the beep of the coffee went off, I gathered all the stuff in my arms and stormed upstairs .
Just seconds after I entered, I heard the shower quiet down. I carefully set the mug and the kit on the nightstand and stepped toward the bathroom.
Swallowing the heaviness down my throat, I clasped the cold door handle and twisted it open as I walked inside.
A hiss escaped through my parted lips, my eyes darkening as I watched her towel her dripping wet body in front of the mirror.
The sound of me striding inside the room made her look up and she cast a shy smile my way. She wrapped the massive towel around her body, clutching it tightly in front of her chest. I grabbed a fresh towel from the heating rack and eased behind her.
“You okay?” I asked, pressing a soft kiss on her wet nose while I tried my best to dab off the excess water from her silky hair.
“Better,” she replied, her voice still mellow and low. But she did look a lot better. Her eyes were less dull and vacant, and the ever-present flush of pink that painted her cheeks returned.
I dropped the soaked towel aside and pulled one of my clean T-shirts over her head.
“Let’s get that fixed,” I whispered, dragging a finger along the dried red gash on her chin.
She nodded as I circled my hand around her dainty wrist and tugged her toward the bed. With a heavy sigh, she settled herself against a mountain of pillows, leaning back as she rolled her neck, emitting a soft groan from her pillowy pink lips .
“This is going to sting,” I said, dabbing some cleaning solution onto a cotton pad and carefully pressing it on her wound.
A slight flash of pain swam through her eyes before she closed them tight, squeezing her lids.
“That’s it,” I whispered, peeling open a Band-Aid and laying it over her chin. “Are you hurt somewhere else?” I asked, my eyes roaming over the scrapes on her wrist.
“Just my knees, I think,” she mumbled, her eyes darting open and landing straight at me. “But that’s okay. It’s just some scratches.”
“I’ll take a look at it, anyway,” I muttered through the fury spiking my blood at the sight of her swollen knees, but I bit it back to focus on her.
“Thanks,” she muttered as I fixed the last Band-Aid on her knees. “Pink Band-Aids, uh?” Her eyes dragged over the bright pink plasters decorated with cartoon characters.
“Only the best for my girl.” I placed a lingering kiss on her forehead before handing her the mug of her favorite vanilla-flavored coffee, the smell of which put some life back into her face as she took a sip.
A small smile curved my lips as I tucked the stray strands of hair gliding in front of her cheek.
After a few mouthfuls, she set the mug aside and curled up on the bed, pulling the sheets to her chin as her eyes focused on the ceiling.
Helpless, I sank in next to her, pulling her soft, warm weight all over me. The heat of her breath brushed my neck as she sighed, burying her face. My hands couldn’t do anything except hold her tight, thinking it would make her feel better .
Deep down, my head was trying to deny the damage this situation would wreck on us. I knew in my heart that to be picked and prodded and scrutinized was Evelyn’s worst nightmare.
And now it was her reality that she couldn’t control.
As much as I would’ve loved to promise her that I could fix this and that everything would be all right, I just didn’t have it in me to give her false hope and see the disappointment crumble her entirely.
I considered her the strongest woman I’d ever known, but she tended to let others’ perspectives take hold of her insecurities and dictate her life.
She let her doubts and fears choke the light out of her, even if they were all untrue.
In the end, she failed to see how truly incredible she was and how stupidly lucky I was to have her in my life.