CHAPTER 10
EVY
It felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest when I woke up. The anxiety thudding through my blood made me weak and lightheaded like I’d woken up from a restless slumber when I’d actually slept peacefully.
The events of last night came crashing back to me, and I sighed, pulling myself out of bed. A glance at the clock told me it was late afternoon. For some reason, my feet took me to the pink room that Jay made for me rather than downstairs for my usual coffee.
Sinking down on the soft carpet, I faced the picture wall. Our love throughout the years; we even added a few recent ones, but I knew it would only grow.
I waited for the dark cloud that would usually swallow me, but it never came.
Oddly, every incident that ruined me flashed before my eyes like a film reel.
“Daddy only agreed to sign with the Four Foxes because I asked him. So I call the shots when it comes to the band. I can either let them record their first album with you out of the picture or I can dangle them with the pretense of making an album for years until they get frustrated and leave Pacific White with you in the picture.”
“Because I want him. And I will have him no matter what.”
“Please, just let us be. I’m begging you. We love each other so much.”
“You look pathetic, begging at my feet like this. Do you think all your crying would move me? Would make me change my mind? It only makes me pity you.”
“I only asked if you needed all those dresses, Evy. And now you’re being a fucking bitch about it. Emmie should’ve never brought you here. Everything was fine before you came along. You came and ruined everything. For months, you’ve been creating a wedge between all of us. Emmie is not even focused in the studio, and it’s all because of you. We were all a family, but now you are destroying all of us. Emmie should’ve never fallen in love with you. I should have never made you my best friend. You need to fucking leave us alone. We were all happy before you came along. You need to fucking go back to where you came from.”
“Did you like it? Did you like it when he fucked you? Did he fuck you like I did?”
“Leave, but don’t ever come back. I don’t ever want to see your face again.”
“Ma-arie is go-on-ne. She’s no more. She di-ied, Evy,”
“You have to find a way to pay it back. David is a very bad man, so please don’t try to get on his bad side. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Evy. I hate leaving you alone. I hope you forgive me. I hope that you will always be happy, Evy. I love you so much.”
“Jay, please save me. Pleas-se I’m sca-ar-red, it hu-urts.”
“You are so wrong if you think I’m going to save you this time, Evelyn.”
“No one special. ”
“I fucking hate you, Evelyn. If there was a stronger word to use than that, I would.”
“Emmie, I told you. You never should have brought her back. When are you ever going to learn?”
“Save your tears, Evelyn. It’s not going to work this time.”
“I told you, Evelyn. All it’ll ever be is a fuck. So no, it means nothing to me.”
“We were perfectly fine before she came along, but look at us now. I’m telling you, Emmie, she is only here to destroy us.”
“This time, we’re done, Evelyn. For good. I don’t ever wish to see your face again. Goodbye.”
All their words resonated glaringly loud inside my head, every word so clear and distinct almost as if I’d subconsciously memorized the pain it caused me.
Ernest Hemingway once said, “The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” The truth that those words held in my life was blatantly evident. In the midst of love, I forgot to see that I was special too.
Now, as I thought back on the memories, there were no hands gripping my heart, no smoke consuming my lungs, and no haze clouding my head.
Because I realized that none of it was my fault.
All I did was love—love with all that I was—so why the hell should I feel hurt?
I was seeing how special I was too, and how stupid I was to take all the pain, hurt, and burden and bury myself in it.
Last night’s experience was eye-opening. It jarred me and caught me off guard, and I crashed from the adrenaline of it .
Yes, the words they said hurt, but not as much as they used to. The old Evelyn wouldn’t even have left her bed and let the darkness consume her into a never-ending pit of self-loathing.
Last night needed to happen because it showed me how better I’d gotten.
It showed me I was healing, this time because of love too.
Love I saved for me instead of giving it all away.
It was also because of this incredible man who showed me what love truly was.
This time, I loved me enough to love him with my life.
This time, I was finally okay.
Suddenly, feeling lighter than hell, I leaped to my feet. My curious girl lifted her head from the floor, whiffing the air with suspicion before dropping it right back down. Strawberry, my loyal little bubble, has been shadowing me since I woke up.
My heart melted as I crouched next to her. “It’s okay, you sleep baby. Mommy’s fine now.”
She wiggled her tail as if she understood while I petted her to my heart’s content.
I left the door ajar to a sleeping Strawberry and trudged downstairs in search of my man. From the sound of it, he seemed to be killing his guitar, hunched over on the living room couch.
A loud echo of his sharp note slithered through the air, and as if he sensed my presence, he looked up, and his eyes rounded. “Evelyn,” he called in a distraught voice. He set Firebird to the side and was immediately all over me. “What are you doing here? Are you alright? ”
A wide smile spread across my lips at his worry. “I came to get my coffee and see my man, but yeah, I’m fine,” I said softly.
“You are?” Surprise coated his eyes while a hiss escaped me when his thumb traced a finger over the gash on my chin. “But you’re hurt. You were crying yesterday,” he mumbled to himself.
“Everyone breaks down at times. I just…” I sighed. “Didn’t expect to have my grocery plan spoiled.”
“I’m sorry about that.” He let out a frustrated breath, weaving his fingers through his hair. Poor baby. From the dark circles under his eyes and the crumpled look of his shirt, it didn’t look like he slept a wink. “It’s all my fault. I should’ve seen this coming.”
“Hey.” I circled my hand around his wrist and lowered them between us. “It’s not your fault. What happened yesterday was something that neither of us could control, but it happened, and it’s over. There’s no use in beating yourself up about it.”
He looked taken aback for a second before his warm hands cupped my cheeks. “I thought you would be sad.”
“I’m not, more likely mad about it.”
His head tilted to the side. “This is your worst nightmare come true, Evy. You hate this.”
I nodded. “I do, but it’s a part of your life, Jay, and if I’m going to be a part of it, I’ll have to get used to it. Not everything will be sunshine and flowers, and I’m okay with it. In fact, I might love a howling storm more if I get to withstand it with you.”
“What changed?” His tone was laced with disbelief .
Willing a deep breath, I explained, “I think I did. I’m so tired of letting other people’s faults wreck me to oblivion. I’m so tired of being in this helpless state of constant misery. So I decided the only way I was going to be okay was if I asked for help. I’ve been going to therapy for a while now, and before you say anything”—I placed a soft finger on his lips—“it was my decision to keep it from you because I wanted to figure this out by myself. And I’m not there yet, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be, but I think I’m okay, Jay. I’m still going to hide under the blankets from time to time, and I’ll still want you to pull them away from me, but I’m not going to shrink away from this beautiful life with you. I want to live it.” My voice came out in a low whisper.
His eyes shined with admiration, and he looked at me like I was the most precious thing in the world before his arms swallowed me in an embrace. The quiet silence spoke between us as we just stood there.
“I’m so proud of you.” His arms tightened, and his lips sealed over mine in a slow kiss, exploring the depths of my mouth with the stroke of his tongue.
I moaned, molding my body to his. The warmth of his body seeped through the material of our clothes, and it felt like molten honey dripping into my soul.
“I love you.” His blues locked on mine. “And I will always be there to rip away your blankets or hide with you under them.”
“I know.” I smiled shyly as I pressed a kiss to his nose. “Now, as much as I love to look at your exquisite face all day, I want my coffee. ”
“Ouch,” I gasped when a sharp smack fired my ass. “Monster,” I mumbled, smiling as I padded to the kitchen.
I stretched out the kinks in my shoulder, sighing happily when the smell of coffee filled the air and losing myself in the moment rather than diving into the serious conversations.
“What?” I raised a brow to the grinning man watching me, perched opposite on the breakfast chair.
“I like you in my kitchen wearing my shirt.”
I rolled my eyes, folding my arms. “I’m always in your kitchen wearing your shirt.”
“Where you should be,” he muttered. “But you keep getting gorgeous every single day.”
“What do you want?” I narrowed my eyes as I took my first sip of coffee, moaning as the bitter notes of it hit my taste buds.
His eyes darkened. “You.”
I bit my lips, ignoring the throb between my thighs. “First.” I hiked myself into the seat across from him. “I need to know what’s happening out there. I’ve been controlling the urge to Google myself.”
“Must you ruin the mood?” He exhaled. “But it’s bad. I don’t want you getting worked up by reading that nonsense. My team is taking care of it, and I’ll post a statement later today. It’ll take a while for it to wind down, and until then, you need to lay low.”
“Was it her? You know all the things they said.” I swallowed. “Implying that you were together and that I’m your mistress or something. ”
His jaw clenched, and his eyes turned icy. “I’ve no idea how the hell they got the information, but yeah, it was probably her. I can’t tie her to shit, and I’m fucking tired of her games.”
“Did Silas not get anything on her?”
“No.” He pulled out his phone and set it on the table. “But she sent me this.” He pressed the play button.
I stiffened as her poisonous voice polluted the air.
“Emmie, you have to know that this wasn’t my doing. I wasn’t the one who told shit to the media. Look, I’ll admit, yes, I was obsessed with you for a while, but only because it was part of a bigger plan. I’m not really that clever, okay? To play games and manipulate shit. I’m just good at acting, at playing a role—that’s all. But look, I don’t have much time. I need money, Em. Wire me twenty million dollars to the bank account I sent you, and I’ll be out of your hair. I’ll leave you and that bitch alone to drive off to paradise in peace. You won’t hear from me after that. Think about what I said. There is more at play here than you know.”
My hands were shaking with anger even after the voice note ended. Numerous scenarios ran through my head. “What the hell is she saying? More at play?”
“I have no clue, but that’s going to the cops. I asked Silas to dig up more, and my legal team is putting together the case while Micah handles the media.”
My brows pinched. “I don’t understand. What does she mean by saying that she didn’t do it? Then who else could?”
He shook his head, his expression grim. “She’s clearly lying. She is good at that. It could have been Dorian, but he’s dead now.”
“I just don’t know why she couldn’t leave us alone. She’s like that dirt on our feet that won’t go away.”
“I know, I’m sorry. ”
I nodded, puffing out a breath. “Also, her audacity to ask you for twenty million dollars while calling me a bitch.”
A chuckle rumbled out of him. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m not going to give her a penny.”
“But I think that’s what she wants. I know she’s obsessed with you, but she is more obsessed with money, and now she has none. I think that’s why she filed the lawsuit.”
“It still doesn’t make sense. Yes, the company lost a lot of money, but Dorian comes from old money. He must not have saved up a lot, but it should’ve been enough to live happily the way she did before. Cece was his only heir; she must have inherited it.”
“But didn’t he say he was in some kind of trouble last time he came here?”
“Yeah.” Jay lifted his brows, shaking his head. “With the Storms, no less. That’s one family you don’t mess with.”
“You mean that guy at Alacteon, right?” I spoke in a hushed whisper for some reason. “He did look scary but also hot—very, very hot.”
Jay’s gaze sharpened. “You did not just call another man hot right in front of me, Evelyn.”
“So what if I did? I think every woman on the planet agrees he was hot. Don’t tell me you don’t appreciate other women.”
He gave me a blank stare as if he didn’t really understand what I was saying.
“I mean, you do look, right? At other girls, I mean.”
He blinked. “No, I don’t. I only find you beautiful.”
My heart warmed, and I couldn’t help but pinch his cheeks between my fingers. “You’re adorable. ”
He looked offended. “You didn’t just call me adorable, Evelyn.” His hands snaked their way around my hips.
“Oh, but I did.” I giggled, jumping off the chair and easing away from him.
“Evelyn, get over here.” He looked like a tiger ready to pounce on me, and he did just that.
I shrieked, running off, but in a second, he was on me, and in the next, he spun us around, taking me to the ground with him, and pinned me to the floor.
My pulse spiked from the need painted in his eyes. With his raven locks falling over his forehead and a playful smirk on his lips, he took my breath away.
“You’re beautiful,” I whispered.
“Adorable and now beautiful. Not what a man wants to be called, sweetheart.”
“But you are in every possible way.”
His weight crushed me closer and his nose landed on the tip of mine. “Can it be possible I only fall more in love with you every single day?”
“I think it is because I feel the same way. Is it like this for everyone else too?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care.”
“So are we going to be under our very own lockdown till this all dies down?” I gasped as I felt his face collapse under the crook of my neck, nuzzling me softly.
“Hmm.”
“Then I have an idea.”
“What?”
“Let’s go to Bellevue.”
His eyes snapped to mine .
“The blue house. I miss it. No one would find us there, right?”
He slowly nodded. “You’re right. No one would. Go back to where it all started, huh?”
“Yep.” I smiled.
“I think I like the sound of that.”