CHAPTER 9
He knew. He didn’t know. He knew. He didn’t know. He knew! I jumped as I plucked the last petal of the daisy in my hand. I mean, it was good that he knew, right? And I hadn’t heard a word from Aimee besides the dozen emails she sent me about my detailed job description.
Which was crazy, to be honest. But I didn’t have time to think about that. I needed to know if I had the job first.
We would be leaving for the tour in two days, if I was even going. Aimee had asked me to go to the apartment today to get Jay’s travel documents and personal luggage sorted. My job was to keep up with his schedule and assist with his personal needs while I coordinated with Nathan, who was the band’s tour manager.
Okay, deep breath, Evy. You can do this. Remember why you are doing this.
I exhaled heavily as I locked all my shame, pride, and ego in an empty box and threw away the key. I can do this , I thought as I punched in the code and peeked inside the apartment. Lily had already given me a heads-up that everyone was here. Assuming from the sounds coming in from the right, they must be in the TV room.
My heart thudded as I tiptoed to the kitchen, needing a moment to collect my bearings. The sight of an empty kitchen greeted me, which wasn’t surprising because it was late evening.
Laughter ran through the walls, followed by footsteps, skyrocketing my nervousness tenfold. Oh God, I ducked behind the counter, hiding as I prayed whoever it was to go away.
I licked my lips as a dozen scenarios ran through my head. I sat on the kitchen floor as I contemplated how to go about this. The fact that everyone was here only made my stomach twist with anxiety.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jay thundered with a fierce expression on his face.
I was startled, catching my heart as I peered at him. “Jeez, you scared me!”
But the expression on his face didn’t falter one bit as he repeated. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Fuck, this was going very well already. I slowly rose to my feet. I plastered a smile on my face, deciding to go with the fun/happy Evy. “Ta-da.” I waved my hand. “I’m your new tour assistant.”
He looked perplexed like he was taken aback by what I had said. “You’re what?”
My heart sank to my gut. There went all of my hope of him knowing already. “Your tour assistant?” I said hesitantly, almost as if I was testing the waters.
He blew out a breath. “If you’re living in some kind of delusion, now is not the time. I do have a tour assistant, but that’s not you.”
I smiled, trying to break the tension strangling the room. “It’s me. You must not have read the name.”
His brows furrowed as he picked up the phone and scrolled through for a while until his blues widened. “Why the fuck are my employees hiring without my fucking permission?” he bit out.
Fuck, he was absolutely not happy with this. Just as I expected. “It just happened.”
His eyes flashed to mine as he took a step toward me to which I couldn’t help taking a step back until my back landed on the fridge. “You’re the last person on earth that I want as my tour assistant.”
“Understandable.” I licked my lips, a nervous laugh escaping me.
His eyes were molten as they traced every single moment of my lips. My heart hammered in my chest. He leaned down so close that we were an inch away while I stood at a standstill, shivering. “You’re fired,” he whispered, lips touching my ear.
It felt like I had been splashed by the waters from the Arctic as I pushed him away. “You can’t fire me. I haven’t even started the job,” I pointed out.
“So?” He tilted his head.
“You haven’t even given me a chance yet,” I muttered, wide-eyed as I peered into those blues.
“I don’t have fucking time for this,” he said, turning away.
I didn’t even think as I closed my fingers around his wrist and pulled him back to me. The burn from his skin sent ripples through my veins. “I need this job.”
He cocked a brow while he cast a glance at my hand. “But I don’t need you.”
I swallowed. I forced any ounce of bravery and courage I left in my body to do this. “It’s just a job. Don’t tell me you’re scared to hire me.”
He laughed, glee filling in his eyes. “More like annoyed by your presence. But do tell? How did a maid get upgraded to be my assistant? I think Aimee’s pregnancy brain got muddled there for a second because I don’t think she was in her right mind when she hired you. You can’t speak to strangers, you can’t decide what you want to eat for lunch, you can’t tell left from right, you fall every five seconds, and you can’t make decisions even if it hit you in the face.” He waved a hand. “Is there anything more to add? Because you are the worst person to hire as my assistant.”
I flushed, red with embarrassment. I forgot that this man knew me inside and out. “Well, I’m not the same girl. You don’t even know me now.”
“I doubt that. Leave before you embarrass yourself.”
The pain rose up my throat. Fuck, I had to think of something fast. “No, I won’t leave. You don’t understand, but I really do need this job.”
He sighed. “Look, Evelyn, if this is a part of your grand scheme for us to get back together, it’s not happening. We are over. Done for good. There’s no going back there.”
“I know that, Jay,” I gritted out. “Look, I know that this may not mean much to you, but for me, an opportunity like this is so hard to come by. And I can’t let it go to waste.”
“I know the last thing you want to do is be my assistant, Evelyn. So tell me, what’s the real reason?”
I sighed. Might as well tell him the truth. “It’s the money, okay? I need it. I can’t get pay like this anywhere else. Especially when I have zero qualifications,” I admitted.
His eyes narrowed. “What happened to Yale?”
“It didn’t work out.”
He nodded. “Fine, if it’s the money you want, I’ll write you a check. You don’t have to bother being my assistant.”
A sudden wave of anger crashed through me. “I don’t want your pity handouts, Jay. I want to work hard for my money,” I snapped, my grip tightening on his wrist.
A few long seconds went by while he stared at me with a blank look on his face, almost as if he was deep in thought. And in the blink of an eye, he closed in on me so fast that it knocked the breath out of me.
He was so close that my entire body was pressed against his. I could feel every inch of his hardness touching mine. It felt warm and fuzzy at the same time as electric and terrifying.
“Are you trying to drive me crazy, Evelyn?”
“No,” I croaked out, lost in his blues.
He ran a finger along my cheek, leaving behind strokes of smoldering flame that lit me up in a deeper shade of red. His nose touched mine, his lips barely kissing me. “Fine, be my assistant,” he said, and in an instant, he let me go, walking away as if he didn’t just make my entire body tingle with his touch.
I spent the next hour packing his stuff from the long list Aimee had given me. Thankfully, everything that he needed was already delivered or set aside. I just needed to sort it out and make sure everything he needed flew with us.
“Figured I’d find you here.”
“Hey, Lily,” I mumbled while I tried to pick between a black shirt with gray buttons and a black shirt with black buttons. Jay was absolutely right when he said I wasn’t cut out for this job. I was currently situated on the floor of his closet while I packed his clothes for his personal use.
“Do you need any help?”
“No, I’m fine,” I muttered as I picked the one with the gray buttons. You are a grown fucking woman, Evy. It’s time you made decisions.
I let Lily pull me up from the floor and walked out to place the last bag on the hallway that was filled with mountains of luggage. How many things did one need for a two-month tour? And it wasn’t even the half of it.
I drew my eyes to the gigantic trunk among Jay's bags. It looked like it could have a body inside it. To say it sparked my curiosity would be an understatement.
“Do you know what’s inside that box?”
Lily lifted a shoulder. “Actually, none of us know. My brother always brings it on tour. And we have never once seen him open it. It gets directly delivered to his room. Trust me, we have tried, but my brother won’t budge. Mikey even tried to break into it once.” She laughed before a far-off look replaced her face.
I couldn’t help but ask, “What happened between you and Mikey? It looks like you guys don’t talk anymore.”
“Nothing,” she said, averting her gaze.
I knew there was more to it than she was telling me, but I didn’t want to dig up her skeletons.
“I’m sorry, Lily.” I rubbed her back. “Well, look on the bright side, we are two single women going to Europe. How about a Luie for you and an Elias for me? I’ve heard that European men are the perfect gentlemen.”
She snorted, cracking up as we made our way downstairs.
And I couldn’t help but join her.
“I should probably get going,” I said as we reached the foyer.
“What? No!” She linked her arm with mine. “Stay. I heard they were getting some food.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think your brother would want that.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re going to be with us twenty-four seven. You might as well get used to it.”
I sighed, nodding. She was right. I had to get used to being with everyone and get out of my comfort zone if I was ever going to survive the next six weeks.
Laughter and loud voices closed in on us as we approached the TV room.
And my heart immediately dropped to my feet. I didn’t know that she was going to be here.
Her gorgeous pale green eyes widened in shock as the conversation in the room died.
“What in the hell are you doing here?” Katy accused.
When they said everyone, I didn’t know Katy and Lan would be here. My eyes couldn’t help but drag over her beautiful face, so impeccable and radiant that it glowed. Her pouty lips pursed at my presence, and she was dressed in just a pair of jeans and a cami that fit her like a second skin.
I took a deep breath, volleying my gaze around the room as I answered. “I’m Jay’s assistant for the tour.”
Frown lines marred her freckled forehead. “Who in their right sense hired YOU?” She pointed a finger at me. “And how did I not know about this? I thought I was the band manager.”
I blinked as I fidgeted with my fingers.
“Let it be, Katy.” Lily cut in.
“Lily, you can’t possibly be okay with this. With her. Not after everything that she pulled,” she hissed.
“Aimee hired her. She’ll be gone in six weeks,” Jay declared, casting me a glance. “But she is going to be here until then, Katy.”
Katy huffed out a breath as she folded her arms over her chest. “Whatever. I’m still not okay with this.”
Well, that went well. Mikey greeted me with a fist bump, and Matt gave me a small smile while Lan gave me a stiff nod and a sad smile. And Jay pretended I didn’t even exist.
I huddled close to Lily on the farthest side of the room, munching on some fries that tasted like cardboard. I felt so uncomfortable that I wanted to get out of here badly, but Lily wouldn’t let me go.
“Mikey, PR is having a nightmare with you. Why can’t you keep it in your pants? That woman is all over social media, sharing detailed vlogs about the time you spent together.”
I felt Lily stiffen beside me but continued her conversation with Matt like she didn’t hear a thing.
“K, come on. We do pay them a hefty sum to take care of the mess.”
“Well, you’ve been leaving behind a trail of messes for years now. Soon there will be no girls left on this planet for you, and your precious fans are going to call you out.”
Mikey laughed while he took a sip of his beer. “My fans love me.”
“Not for long, they won’t. Emmie, can you beat some sense into him and ask him to be more private like you.”
A painful lump hitched up my throat. I didn’t ever want to think of Jay with someone else. It was the kind of pain that squeezed the soul out of my body.
“Like he’ll ever listen to me,” Jay stated.
“I don’t understand how you guys could sleep with so many people. Even if I was single, I could never. Maybe because I’m a girl, I think.” She paused to take a sip from her fruity drink. “But then there are some girls who have fucked their way through the whole town. And even had the audacity to cheat on someone who loved them.”
My entire body froze up as I cast my eyes downward.
She was talking about me, wasn’t she?
But she didn’t stop there. “I mean, can you believe girls like that? Like not an ounce of shame or guilt! Like how do they even show their faces outside? To cheat and lie their way through life. If it was me, I would have died from the embarrassment alone. Like how…”
“Shut the fuck up, Katy!” Mikey thundered.
But the damage was done. It was like a heavy hand gripped my heart and crushed the life out of it. It hurt so damn bad, so bad that it felt like dying.
Loud silence filled the room. I swallowed as I looked up. Through the glassiness, I could see that everyone was staring at me.
Why was everyone blurry?
I didn’t even realize that I was crying until my hands wiped the wetness away from my cheek. But it wouldn’t stop falling, tiny drops kept coating the back of my hands.
“That was uncalled for and rude, Katy,” Lily said in a firm voice.
But I didn’t waste another second in that room. “Excuse me,” I mumbled as I shuffled out the door. I didn’t even look back as I grabbed my jacket and purse and dashed out of the apartment.
The cold calm night of NYC greeted me. It was close to midnight on a weekday, so the streets were empty as I sauntered to the subway.
I sighed as every single word she said ran through my mind. I didn’t deserve any of it. I wished that I was brave enough to stand up to her. I wished I had stood up for myself and not run away like a weak coward. But life had hit me too many times back and back again, and instead of fueling all that to become a strong person, I became this fragile version of myself I hardly recognized. I didn't know if I could ever be the old me again.
A sleek black sports car drove so close to me on the driveway that I had to sidestep toward the end of the pavement.
I frowned, what the fuck was his problem?
“Get in the car, Evelyn,” a familiar voice called out.
I snapped my head toward the car again, shocked. I closed in and peeked my head inside. “Jay, what are you doing here?”
“Stop asking me fucking questions and get in the car, Evelyn.”
I felt my blood boil in an instant. “What the fuck is wrong with all of you? I’m a human too. Stop treating me like shit,” I raged.
I could hear him cursing and calling out to me, but I didn’t cast a second glance as I walked away.
My hand clenched around my purse. I can’t believe these people. I was so tired and exhausted from everyone walking all over me.
“Evy.” Jay’s voice echoed through the empty street as he stepped in beside me.
“What are you doing?” I frowned.
His blues met mine, softening the tiniest bit. “Will you please get in the car so I can drive you home? It’s pretty late.”
I was taken aback for a second. “Why do you care?”
“I don’t want my assistant walking alone in the night, especially after she left my place.”
“I’m perfectly fine walking on my own. Thank you for your concern.”
“Evelyn, stop being irrational. It’s dangerous at this time of the night.”
My eyes flashed to him. “I’ve taken the subway plenty of times. I can’t get used to you driving me around because six weeks from now, I won’t even be in your life, remember?” I continued walking. I was not in the mood to argue or be anywhere in his presence. I just wanted to go home, cuddle with Strawberry, and sleep.
“Fucking hell,” he cursed from somewhere behind me.
I rolled my eyes as I headed down toward the station.
The board told me that the train was five minutes away. I yawned as I slid into a bench while I waited. I squeezed my eyes shut, leaning back as I exhaled a heavy breath. If only I had the power to delete today from my memories.
A sudden presence in my periphery jolted me. My eyes almost bugged out of my head as I watched Jay drop into the seat beside me. “What are you doing?” I asked, dazed.
He shrugged, pulling his baseball hat and hoodie lower. “You wanted to take the subway.”
“Yes, I did.” I pointed a finger at my chest. “Me. I wanted to take the subway. Not with you.”
“It’s public transportation.”
I sighed, giving up.
Thankfully, not a lot of people were in the car with us. Just an old couple, a weird-looking hippie, and three very drunk girls. Although there were so many seats, Jay decided to take the one beside me.
“What if someone recognizes you?” I hissed under my breath. I was getting suspicious of the drunken girls who were giggling his way.
“They won’t.”
“How do you know that? Look at those girls. And do you really have to sit next to me? I don’t want to be photographed.”
He cast a bewildered look my way. “I should be the one fearing the photos, not you.”
“I just don’t like strangers taking pictures of me. It feels violating.” I scrunched up my nose.
“Well, I love it when I’m photographed,” he said, his voice thick with sarcasm.
My lips curved into a smile. A secret part of my heart did like that we were having a normal conversation. At least as normal as it could be.
“This is me.” I yawned, gesturing toward my building later that night. “Thank you for walking me home.”
His eyes ran up and down the street. “Go on. I’ll walk you inside.”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll be fine.”
“Go, Evelyn.” His tone left no room for argument.
I sighed as I led him up to my apartment. As soon as I opened the door, someone greeted me with a little too much excitement.
I crouched down to give Strawberry a little cuddle. “Ohh, my baby. Did you miss me?” She gave me the cutest barks while I scratched behind her ears.
A throat cleared behind me. I watched as Jay crouched down beside me. Strawberry instantly went to the newcomer, wiggling her tail.
“Hey.” He smiled, one that reached his eyes and transformed his entire face. I couldn’t help but stare at him. He looked like the Jay I once used to know and not the man I was acquainted with this past month. “What’s her name?” he asked as he petted her gently.
“Strawberry,” I whispered.
His hand stilled while his eyes shot to mine. “Strawberry, eh?”
“Yeah.” I licked my lips.
His eyes zeroed in on my lips, and my breath hitched. It felt like the temperature rose with each passing second. The air cracked with tension as I felt a deep ache awaken within me.
But it all went away in a flash when he quickly averted his gaze. “I’ll get going,” he said, giving Strawberry one last pat as he headed out the door. “Good night, Evelyn.”
“Good night, Jay,” I muttered, but he was already gone.
“Please take good care of my girl.” I hugged Strawberry tight to my chest.
“Okay, bitch, you need to stop. That’s the hundredth time I’m hearing that today. If you say it one more time, I’ll really start thinking about selling Strawberry.”
“Gabe!” I mumbled. “I’ve never been without her, and it’s going to be two whole months.”
Gabe sighed. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her.”
I nodded.
“Are you sure going on this tour is the best thing?”
“I mean, what choice do I have, Gabe?” I asked. “Yes, most, if not all, of them hate me now, but with this money, I could finally pay off the debt and focus on my actual life. And it’s just six weeks anyway. I hope it’ll fly by fast.”
He eased in next to me, rubbing my back. “Promise me that you won't do anything stupid, chica. Call me every single day, okay? Even if you miss one call from me, I swear you’ll see my ass in Europe.”
I laughed, hugging him tight. “I promise. I’m going to miss you.”
“Well, duh!” He grinned.
I honestly didn’t know if I would be the person who I am today without Gabe. Although I consider myself the unluckiest person in the world, sometimes the universe surprises me by sending people like him into my little world.
So I guess I was lucky in that way.