CHAPTER 10
I blew out a deep breath as I heaved my heavy suitcase down the street. It was around six in the morning, and we had an early flight today.
Aimee had assured me that a car would come pick me up and drop me off at the private airport.
I was grateful because I had no idea where it was or how to get there. As an assistant, I was actually slacking off because Aimee took care of all the nitty-gritty details while I just had to run behind Jay in case he needed anything.
I frowned, flicking through today’s schedule on my phone. It was packed; even looking at it made me tired.
I peered down the empty road, snuggling closer to my jacket to find some warmth, yawning as I waited. About three minutes later, a familiar black car pulled up my driveway.
My face scrunched up in confusion.
Wasn’t that Jay’s car?
Tyler immediately got out and took hold of my luggage. “I’ll take care of it, Ms. May.”
“Thank you, Tyler, and good morning. I didn’t know you would be here.”
He shrugged as he placed my suitcase in the trunk and opened the car door for me.
I smiled, removing my backpack as I got in.
My eyes widened as I took in the person inside the car, dressed in all black, like sin, a sin that should come with a warning. Hmm, I didn’t realize that Jay would personally be picking me up.
“Morning,” I mumbled to which he just nodded, staring straight ahead.
I guess we were back to the cold, ignorant Jay.
About forty minutes later and with Manhattan behind us, we pulled up to a private hangar.
As soon as I got out, Lily immediately pulled me into a hug, followed by Mikey while the rest acted like I didn’t even exist.
At least someone was happy to see me.
While everyone boarded the flight, Tyler handed me a phone. “This is Mr. Jameson’s work phone.” I nodded; Aimee had informed me that Jay only takes work calls that are approved by her. So she’ll patch it through if it’s anyone important. “And this is Mr. Jameson’s bag.”
“Thanks.” I huffed out. Damn, it was heavy.
“Do you want me to carry it?” Lily frowned.
“No.” I shrugged. “It’s my job.”
“Let’s go.”
I nodded as we headed inside the massive gleaming white jet. Nervousness laced with excitement filled my blood.
I was going on a private fucking jet.
If someone had told me last week that I would step foot inside a private jet, I would’ve laughed at their faces. Oh, how the tides had turned.
The main cabin was so luxurious, with two rows of quad seats facing each other toward the left and a single longer couch to the right. It was all plush cream leather, dark wood, and golden lights.
Lan, Katy, and Matt were already seated in the front row. Katy gave me a side-eye but didn’t say a single word.
Lily and I took the twin seat in the back which happened to be directly opposite Jay and Mikey. Fuck, this was going to be interesting.
“Water,” Jay said flatly just as I sat down.
I looked confused for a second, but my eyes dropped to the bag on my lap. I zipped it open and inside was a goody bag with every possible thing he could need. I grabbed the water and handed it to him.
Rule number 1: Always make sure Mr. Jameson is hydrated.
Jay only drank a specific brand of high-grade, artesian Swiss water while on tour. A quick Google search the other day told me that one bottle cost more than my grocery budget for the entire week.
“Earbuds.”
Rule number 2: Always make sure Mr. Jameson’s needs are met.
Mikey rolled his eyes. “You are over the top, Emmie.”
“Shut up, fucker.”
“E, anytime you want to quit and be my personal assistant, just say the word.”
Although he was speaking to me, Mikey’s eyes were zoned in on Lily, yet the look on his face was one I couldn’t read. Lily was already asleep; it took her only two minutes to nod off.
I smiled and averted my gaze to the window. The excitement came back once again. I was going to Germany. Our first stop on tour would be Berlin. Although I would have loved to go there under different circumstances, I wasn’t complaining.
The side of my neck heated like someone was watching me, and I turned to see Jay looking straight at me. His blues implored my soul with so many questions in them.
I sighed inwardly. I wondered what was going on inside his head. Did he still feel our connection too? Although buried, it was alive and beating. It was one thing that we both could never deny. But our attraction was never the problem, was it?
My eyes drifted back to the window while I dreamed of what-ifs.
“Evelyn.” A hand gripped my shoulder, jolting me upright.
“What!?” I startled, licking my lips.
“Finally. Fuck,” Jay mumbled and went ahead to shake Lily, who was currently snoring.
I blinked back the confusion and wiped the drool off my mouth. Oh fuck, did I fall asleep? Everyone was already departing the jet. Did I really sleep for the past eight hours?
Lily rose, yawning. “Are we here?”
“Yes.” Jay rolled his eyes as he walked down the aisle.
“E, I took about a dozen pictures of your drooling. At one point, I thought we had an animal on the flight because that’s how loud you were snoring,” Mikey joked, grinning while he followed Jay out.
I poked a tongue at him. I was pretty sure I wasn’t the one he was taking pictures of.
As soon as I stepped outside, a biting wind whipped across my face, so I hurried my steps to escape the cold.
As I approached the gang, I saw a tall, brown-skinned man standing by two big dark-tinted cars chatting with Katy. Hmm, who was the newcomer?
He greeted everyone and then turned to me with a huge smile on his face. “Hi, I’m Nathan, you must be Evelyn.”
Oh, he was the tour manager.
“Hey, Nathan, please call me Evy.” I smiled, shaking his hand.
His warm brown eyes immediately did a once-over of me while his thumb grazed my palm, which made me so uncomfortable.
“Let’s go,” Jay announced.
I detached my hand quickly and followed Jay. What a creep.
The four of us huddled up in the first car, and soon, we were cruising down Berlin. About ten minutes later, with me looking like a fool gawking outside the window, we reached a sprawling mansion that would be our home for the weekend.
“Okay, guys. The luncheon is at two, and the meet and greet is at five. And then you are off for the day. Be ready in an hour,” Katy declared as soon as we entered the foyer.
Mikey groaned.
But I was busy ogling the expansive marble interiors. This place felt like a palace instead of a home. It was so beautiful.
“Evy, I have all of J.J.’s costume already delivered to his room,” Nathan said, interrupting me. “Oli has it all labeled, so it’s easy for you.”
I nodded, thanking him. Oli was the costume designer in charge of the wardrobe for all the events and shows.
The gang spread out in different directions like they knew exactly where to go. I guess this must not be their first time here.
“Wait till you see the pool outside. I can’t wait to swim,” Lily said, her excitement palpable.
I linked my arm with her. “Lily darling, you know I can’t swim for the life of me, right?”
“But you’re still coming anyway.” She smiled, pausing for a minute, and then groaned, “Now, I’ve to get ready for the event. I hate going to events. But I promised Katy I’d be there.”
I groaned along with her. “Me too, but it’s my job now. Speaking of, I should go and actually do it.”
“Fine, I’ll see you later,” she mumbled as she headed off to the right.
It took Tyler and me two tries to get all of Jay’s luggage delivered to his room, including the humongous trunk, which, thankfully, Tyler carried. It seems that Tyler was magically in the plane along with us. When I asked him, he said there was a smaller cabin in the front for the staff.
Upon entering Jay’s room, I picked up the dress bag marked with today’s date and handed it to Jay. “Your suit,” I mumbled.
I then headed to my room across the hall from his. It was small compared to his gigantic room but bigger than my entire apartment. The amount of money being spent here should be ridiculous.
It took me ten minutes to change out of my sweats and into a sensible pair of black jeans and a shirt. I paired it with my comfy black sneakers—the best option for my fucked-up knee, which thankfully wasn’t acting up.
I knocked, then stepped inside Jay’s room. He was currently standing in front of a mirror, fixing his tie. If he had any inclination that I was here, he didn’t show it.
My heartbeat started to pick up with each step.
“So you’ll be meeting a Mr. Karl at the luncheon. He is a major sponsor for the tour along with his daughter, Ms. Gisele, who is your huge fan. You’ve actually met them for two years at a charity ball in London. Mr. Karl likes to speak about politics, so Aimee mentions you make no comments or opinions on that.”
Rule number 3: Always keep Mr. Jameson on track with his schedule and update him about the nature of the event, a.k.a. read from the paper.
I thought Jay was a singer. Why did he have to kiss someone’s ass like this? It was pretty obvious that it was the label’s doing, but still, it was weird. It was a good thing that they would be getting out of it soon.
“I hate these events,” Lily muttered while she sipped her white wine.
The band talked animatedly with Mr. Karl and his associates while his daughter fangirled over them. Although all of them were smiling and laughing, I could tell the guys were pretending. It was like they couldn’t wait to get out of here.
“Yeah, it’s so weird. I get what you said about the label milking them.”
“Especially these past two years. Our guys are their biggest artists, so the label says yes to any opportunity to make that extra buck. Mr. Karl is donating a cool five million dollars to host the band in their city just because his daughter is a big fan.”
I gaped at her, my eyes almost falling out of their sockets. “The fuck?”
“I know, right.”
“Lily, don’t let Mr. Karl hear you,” Katy whispered from her seat on the other side of Lily.
“Katy, he can’t possibly hear me. He’s heads deep trying to bore the guys.”
Since the start of the luncheon, Lily has been a buffer between Katy and me. Katy spoke to Lily instead of talking to me directly. It almost felt so high school.
After the most boring luncheon with Mikey complaining the whole time about how he never signed up for all this shit and with Katy assuring him that it would end soon, we headed to the meet and greet.
The guys instantly transformed upon seeing their fans. A genuine smile plastered on their faces while they patiently answered every single one of their questions.
It made sense that they wanted out of the label. If I were in their position, I would have left packing a long time ago. Because it was pretty obvious all they wanted to do was sing and meet their fans.
They were one of the biggest artists in the world and could do anything they wanted at this point. I’d heard rumors that Pacific White was barely hanging because of them and was no longer as famous as they once were.
I soulfully wished that rumor was true and hoped those fuckers ended up in a ditch.
That night, I hit the sack exhausted with an ice pack tied around my knee. And it was only day one. I think I did a pretty okay job today, and if I kept this up, then the next forty-one days would be a breeze.
I moaned as I hit the snooze for the sixth time in a row. It wasn’t even the break of dawn, so why the hell did Jay have to get up so fucking early? I screwed one eye open and got blinded by my phone to peer at the time.
4:31 a.m.
I grumbled into the pillow as I willed my body to wake the fuck up.
I blinked back the sleep as I knocked on his door.
“Jay,” I mumbled sleepily.
A few seconds later, he opened it, looking ready to run a marathon. He wore black basketball shorts and a sports tank, showing off his glorious tattoos. He had a headband tied around his head to keep his hair away. I think the drool in the corner of my lips wasn’t from the remnants of my sleep.
“Good morning, Jay. Your coffee.” I handed him the to-go cup as we headed to the gym downstairs.
Why did I have to go to the gym with him?
Because rule number 4 stated: Be around Mr. Jameson unless otherwise specified.
I think that rule was added just to torment me. As much as I would’ve been overjoyed about that once upon a time, it felt more like a punishment now. It bothered me so much that my spine tingled in his presence every time.
I sank down in the corner with his goody bag next to me while I watched what might have very well been the greatest trial of my life. Because all I wanted to do was grab him off the treadmill and let him fuck the daylights out of me.
I plopped my chin on my fist, gaping at the eagle tattoo on his biceps glistening with sweat. I didn’t know how he had the energy because he was almost sprinting on an incline. About an hour later, he stopped.
I fumbled, getting on my wonky feet. “Your water.” I passed his high-grade water mixed with pink electrolytes.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, eyeing me. “Why are you here again?”
All the sleep in my system disappeared in a second. “Am I not supposed to be here?”
“Not really.”
“But wasn’t it rule number four to be with you at all times?”
His brows furrowed. “Rule number four?”
“I mean your list of job descriptions.”
He shrugged. “I just call or text my assistant if I need anything.”
“So I don’t really have to be around you all the time?”
“No.”
“What about your water or your bag?” I gestured to his goody bag.
“Tyler gave it to you to hand it to me, but since you seemed impartial to it, I let you have it.”
“So the rules were a lie!?” I blurted.
He rolled his eyes. “I believe they are just general job descriptions of an assistant, Evelyn.”
“Oh.”
He shook his head and got started on the weights.
“Wait, does that mean I can leave?”
He looked up at the ceiling and exhaled. “Yes, Evelyn, you can leave. If I need any assistance, I’ll let you know.”
“Okay, you can actually have your goody bag. It’s right there.” I gestured to the corner.
“Fucking hell,” he grumbled.
I grinned, walking out. I can’t believe I lost my precious sleep for nothing. Although, I did love the sweaty show this morning.
“Evy!”
I turned to see Lily waving toward me.
“What are you doing up so early? I was just going to the pool. Would you care to join me?”
“Yes.” I smiled, nodding.
Since it was so cold outside, the heated pool felt amazing. Lily lapped around in near-perfect butterfly strokes while I lounged over the edge, basking in the warmth.
Lily was breathing hard when she came to join in next to me. “Are you excited for the show tonight?”
“Yeah.” I yawned. “But I’m already tired. I don’t know how Jay has it in him to perform a three-hour show tonight.”
“Yeah, my brother is a nutjob. I don’t even know if he sleeps.”
“If only I could’ve slept a little longer today,” I moaned. Just then, the alarm in my phone rang. “That’s my cue to get him breakfast. I’ll probably take a nap after that before sound check.”
I bid her goodbye as I tied a towel around my swimsuit, which came all the way to my calves to hide my scar. Thankfully, Lily had a spare new swimsuit that I could borrow because my stupid brain didn’t pack any. I thought it was a work trip, but in reality, it felt anything but that. It was like I was actually on a vacation, touring Europe while I watched my favorite band perform.
What a way to live!
I was dripping droplets everywhere as I made my way to the kitchen.
A private chef was already arranging the spread for everyone. She introduced herself as Nova—she would be our chef for the entire tour.
I picked up his tray and headed upstairs, shivering. Fuck, I needed to dry myself ASAP.
“Hey, got your breakfast.” I smiled, entering his room. I placed the tray on the little tea table and opened the lid for him.
Jay’s breakfast actually looked amazing for the first once; it was some sort of poached egg’s benedict on top of a Caprese salad.
I turned to him, and my heart stopped for a second. His blues were locked on mine, darkening as they took in the red straps peeking from the towel.
I flushed, the old familiar ache returning as I licked my lips, my mouth dry. “I’ll get going then.” I pointed at the door.
I scurried out of the room like my ass was on fire. With each passing day, it was becoming so hard to be in his presence.
The tension between us was killing me.
And I couldn’t do a single thing about it.
I stood, starstruck, watching the crowd scream even louder than before. The band was performing their encore, and the entire stadium literally shook. It felt like a warning of an imminent earthquake.
When I first entered the arena earlier today, it took me a moment to take in how big it was. And to see it now filled with thousands of people screaming their names.
My heart couldn’t help but soar.
I was so proud of him, so proud of all of them.
I offered Jay his bottle of water and a towel as soon as he came off the stage. The air was still buzzing from their incredible performance. It was insane to watch all the people running behind the stage to make sure everything was perfect.
“Thanks,” Jay mumbled while he handed off his guitar to a roadie.
“Perfect, guys!” Katy beamed. “Great opening show, seventeen more to go. And the fan meeting starts in thirty.”
“Katy, I love you as a friend, but I hate you as my manager.” Mikey blew an exasperated breath while he shook his long blond hair, wet droplets falling all over the floor.
“Mikey, you can’t even put on your socks without me.” Katy grinned while she tried to wipe away the sweat from Lan’s head, while the latter looked red-eyed and drained.
Now I knew why Jay did all that extensive workout this morning. Even though I had watched them perform live in their earlier days, it was nothing compared to this. The amount of energy the guys, especially Jay, exhausted on the stage was on another level.
Soon, we all headed off to the green room.
“Here you go,” I mumbled while I gave him his steam inhaler while I got started on his special tea. I didn’t know if the rules counted anymore, but an important part of my job was ensuring he rested his voice properly.
I slid in next to him as I blew off the steam from the cup while waiting for him to finish. A sudden tingle across the side of my neck made me look up.
His eyes were fixed on mine, a blank look in them.
I flushed as the redness started to tint my cheeks. “Your tea,” I muttered.
He nodded, taking small sips while he sprawled back on the couch, stretching his neck.
My eyes were transfixed on his every move. “So great show,” I blurted out like an idiotic fool. Amazing, Evy. If there was an award to start small talk, you would definitely win it.
“I know.”
I nodded. “Of course, you know that,” I murmured.
“What?”
“Nothing at all.” I let out a nervous giggle and focused my gaze elsewhere. Lily was in deep conversation with Katy and Mikey, so I had no choice but to sit with Jay.
“Why the eagle tattoo?” I asked and immediately cringed. God, I could feel the awkwardness crackling in the air. Didn’t you have a better question, Evy? I chided myself.
Jay’s hand stilled on his mug while he cast his eyes to mine. “It looked cool. The designer suggested it.”
“Yes, the designer, right! I thought you had a thing for eagles.” I laughed, but it came out more like a struggling door hinge.
He gave me a weird look while he finished his tea.
This was your cue to shut the fuck up and stop embarrassing yourself, Evy.
“Guys, it’s time,” Katy hollered.
Jay slid on his leather jacket over the black tank that he wore for the show.
“They were incredible, weren’t they?” Lily smiled, linking her arm with mine as we followed them.
“Yeah. They were so good. I sent Gabe so many pictures to get revenge on him for sending me cute photos of Strawberry. God, I miss my baby.” I pouted.
“She’s the cutest thing ever!”
I agreed.
To say I was underdressed at this after-party would be an understatement because I was terribly dressed. It didn’t even strike my mind that I would attend exclusive events and parties like this, so I didn’t pack one nice dress. All I packed were sensible assistant clothes.
By the time we tied things up at the meet and greet, it was so close to midnight. But no, the night certainly did not end there, especially in the life of rock stars.
My eyelids dropped again; I was trying so hard to fight the sleep clawing at me. All I wanted was to go home and crash, but no, Lily dragged me with, saying she would feel left alone.
I rubbed my hand over the simple black T-shirt that I wore while my jean-clad knee bounced in a frenzy. I felt very insecure in this crowd. Everyone was dressed to impress.
In glimmering jewels, shiny shoes, and silky cocktail dresses, the women in this room were impeccable. Even Lily had on a cute dress.
“Are you sure you don’t want a drink, Evy?”
“Nope.” I shook my head. After the fiasco at The Box, I was choosing momentary sobriety.
The blaring techno beat snuck its way inside my head, increasing the ache. How long do I have to be here?
Just then, two giggling girls made their way to our booth.
“J.J., it’s so good to see you,” said the one in a tight red dress.
Jay grinned, immediately shooting up from his seat and pulling her into a hug.
Fuck, there goes the sword through my gut.
“Alice, likewise,” he muttered.
Her friend greeted Katy and the rest of them, even Lily. It looked like they all knew each other.
Was it possible to feel alone in a room full of crowded people? Because I did. So small and so alone.
I averted my gaze to my hand gripping the glass of water.
A shrill laugh made my eyes dash straight to Jay and his new companion. I swallowed the bubbling lump down my throat. They both were talking animatedly; she was so close to him that her legs might as well be on his lap.
They acted eerily comfortable with each other, and I just knew, I could somehow feel it. I knew in my bones they were well acquainted, not just as friends.
The fact that Jay might have fucked her at one point made it all the more hard to watch. It was a cruel punishment that the universe was testing me with again and again.
How much of this could I take before I combust into nothing one day?
Something that she said made him laugh. It was the first time I’d seen Jay laugh after six years. The burn in my eyes escalated, my heart heavy as it dropped to my gut.
It felt like my lungs were filled with tar with each passing moment. It was getting harder and harder to breathe.
Because it hurt, it hurt so damn bad. It was the fact that she could’ve been me. It was the fact that my love story got played by an insolent bitch. It was the fact that we were too damaged to even have a normal conversation.
But the most grueling fact was that we could never be us again. We could never be Evy and Jay again.
I slowly slipped out of my seat and walked away. I couldn’t help the saltiness that flowed out of my eyes. I quickly wiped them away as I put on a brave face and got the hell out of there.
I was thankful for the taxi cabs parked by the curb; I slid inside, side-stepping the paparazzi lined outside, who didn’t bat an eye my way. I mean, why would they when I was practically a nobody?
I leaned against the window, watching the city lights blur by on the way to the marbled colonial palace—my temporary home.
With a sigh, I climbed up the stairs to my room, worn out, tired, and wounded from today’s events.
A sudden jolt cut through the air when a warm hand grasped mine and spun me around. Electricity zinged its way up to my bones as I locked eyes on a pair of smoldering blues that held me captive.
My eyes widened in shock, my heart hammering a beat that was too fast to be normal.
Jay.