CHAPTER 25
JAY
I ground my teeth as I stared at the lines on the linoleum floor. My bent elbows dug into my thighs as I tried hard to control the boiling fury working its way out of me.
“Fuck, I just landed. What the fuck happened? How’s Cece?” Katy asked just as she entered the waiting room.
“We don’t know yet. The doctors are checking on her,” Matt replied.
“Fuck,” she bit out, dropping down on the floor in front of me. “Emmie, what the fuck is going on? Has Evy gone mad? Thank God no word was leaked to the media, and I made sure that nothing got out. But, Emmie, this would need some serious damage control.” Katy ran a frustrated hand through her hair.
“Not now, Katy,” I muttered.
A frown scrunched its way up her nose. “What?”
The doors to the waiting room dashed open, and Mikey walked in. “Any word?”
Matt shrugged.
Katy blew out a breath and got up in Mikey’s face. “Did Evy say anything? Why the fuck would she do this, Mikey?”
Mikey lifted a shoulder. “I think the bitch deserved it.”
“What!?” Katy shrieked. “How can you say that?”
A ping vibrated in my hand. My grip almost snapped it in half as I opened the phone to confirm what I already knew.
The look in her eyes told me everything that I needed to know.
Those brown eyes, they never lied to me.
The fucking dread that I didn’t see it sooner clawed the heart that I didn’t know I had.
“Are you Cece’s friends and family?”
I snapped my head as I watched the doctor approach us.
“Yes, Doctor. Is she fine?” Katy asked.
He nodded. “Thankfully, there wasn’t much damage to the bone, but the soft tissues were significantly injured. But that can be easily treated and won’t lead to any visible defects. She’s fine now. You can visit her if you wish.”
“Oh, thank God she’s fine.” Katy held her heart as she exhaled heavily.
I didn’t say a thing as I followed her into the white door at the end of the hallway.
The clinical scent of ethanol hit my nose with the click of the constant beep reverbing through the room.
“Gosh, Cece, are you okay?” Katy rushed to her side.
A silent weep slid out her chapped lips. “No,” she blubbered as tears fell out of her eyes. A wide plaster stuck stark over her nose.
“I’m so sorry,” Katy whispered as her hand grasped Cece’s.
“Emmie”—Cece’s gaze darted to mine—“she destroyed my nose. How am I ever going to show my face again? After all the hell she pulled, how can you take her back and trust her again?”
Mikey scoffed. “Stop acting. The doctor said you’re perfectly fine.”
Katy’s eyes jumped to Mikey. “Not now,” she hissed.
Cece’s silent weeping flowed through as she continued, “What did I ever do to deserve this, Emmie? When all I’ve ever been was be nice to her. You never should’ve let her in again. I thought you learned your lesson last time. She’s just a lowly scum who’ll do anything for the next…”
I held out a hand. “Don’t finish that sentence,” I said in a cold whisper.
Her eyes flickered wide. “Emmie?”
“I know what you did.”
And the fade in the gleam covering her eyes told me everything that I needed to know.
A nervous laugh spurts out of her. “What did I do? I don’t understand?”
Katy’s confused eyes volleyed between us.
“I know what you did six years ago.” I narrowed my eyes as my jaw ticked.
Silence crowded the room as she exchanged confused glances with everyone, stumbling for words. She shook her head. “Emmie, you can’t believe a word from her. After everything she did? Did you forget that she cheated on you? Lied to you and wrecked your life? And I’ve been there for you when she wasn’t. Now, I can’t believe you’re listening to her. Why would I do it? You guys are so talented. Why would I do all this for an album? It’s crazy.”
“I never said it was for an album.”
She stilled when she realized her slip. She squeezed her eyes shut as she cursed. When she blinked them open, a sinister glint coated them.
I can’t believe I didn’t see this earlier.
This was it.
The real Cece.
As white as an angelic devil.
“Fuck, you caught me, huh?” She clapped her hands as she leaned back. “Fine, whatever. I’ll admit you’re a hard one to hook. Even after six years, I couldn’t get the job done. But I was so close, if that puny little bitch and this fucking label issue hadn’t interfered, you would’ve been mine by now.”
A smile tugged its way up my lips. “In your dreams, White.”
A furious gaze covered her eyes as she pointed her finger at me. “Don’t get too cocky. You’re going to be mine one way or another. I’ll fucking make it happen. I always get everything I want.”
I chuckled. “Do you hear yourself?” I can’t believe I thought this obsessive lunatic was my friend.
“Wait.” Katy gestured back and forth between us. “What the fuck is happening? Cece, why the fuck are you talking that way?”
Cece rolled her eyes. “Okay shut it, Katy. At least one good thing is coming out of this. I can finally stop putting up with you and your whiny ass.”
“The fuck,” Katy thundered while Matt pulled her back. Her face was a mask of anger laced with confusion.
“Oh, come on, you don’t think I was actually your friend, did you? I was only putting up with all of you for him.” She waved toward me.
Katy gasped, anger pouring out of her. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on here. But thank God that Evy already fucking destroyed your face, Cece, because I wouldn’t have stopped till your nose was actually broken.”
“Oh, fuck off. I’m so scared of you,” Cece said, and the sarcasm in her voice was apparent.
Matt had to yank a cursing Katy out of the room.
“Well, bitch, I want to say it was nice knowing you, but that isn’t the case.” Mikey shrugged as he headed toward the door.
“Go to hell, Mikey,” she called out.
He laughed. “Gladly, as long as you’re not there.”
The slam of the door closing thundered through the room.
“I will have you, no matter what.” Her fixated gaze met mine.
I smirked. “You’re very lucky that you’re a woman, White. Although I should say my girl did a good job.”
Her glint turned to a glare.
“Oh, and”—I held out my finger—“you’re going to regret the day you were born for fucking with my girl,” I steeled out the promise.
For the first time tonight, she faltered as fear crowded her eyes. I didn’t wait to see the end of it as I bolted out.
Mikey sighed as he matched my footsteps. “That fucking bitch. Wish I could’ve seen this earlier. Everything E must’ve gone through, I can’t even imagine.”
My inhale hitched, the claw in my heart digging deep for blood.
I failed her.
“Sir.” Dennis fixed his glasses higher up his nose as he stopped short in front of me. “Is Ms. Cece okay?”
I didn’t even think as I slammed him against the wall. My grip clasped tight around his neck.
A cry slipped out of him as his glasses slid off to the floor.
“You were in on it too,” I hissed.
A stark panic glimmered through his eyes but he stammered, “Sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He wiggled under my hold.
“White made Evelyn sign that contract all those years ago, a contract that you created that is now sitting on my phone.”
His eyes widened as he struggled for words. “Sir, you need to believe me. I had nothing to do with all this. I was just following orders. I even tried to talk Ms. Cece out of it after seeing Ms. May beg on her knees. It was sad to watch her, sir. Please know that I tried everything in my power. But I couldn’t do anything.”
My pulse skyrocketed with each word out of this mouth. I squared my fist right across his jaw.
A weak whimper left him as he fell to his knees.
“You didn’t do a fucking thing. You let her beg on her fucking knees when you should’ve fucking come to me,” I roared as I walked off.
“What are you going to do, man? This is more fucked up than I thought,” Mikey asked.
I blew out a heavy exhale. “I don’t know.” And I honestly didn’t.
I had no fucking clue what I was going to do.
I didn’t know how I was going to rewrite all the mistakes of my past.
“I fucked up,” I mumbled.
He sighed, gripping my shoulder. “That you did. What are you going to do about E?”
“I don’t know the answer to that either. All I know is that I have to see her.”
“That’s probably for the best. Although I should say, she wasn’t very happy that you stayed with Cece.”
I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. “I stayed to protect her.”
“Yeah, I know. It’ll take a while, but E will understand. You have to make her understand at least, after everything she did for you, for us.”
“I have to go now.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything here. They won’t be pressing any charges, but I’ll confirm it once more and make sure that bitch doesn’t have anything up her sleeve.”
I nodded as I rushed out of the hospital.
I needed to see her now.
I prayed to God for the first time in years.
Prayed that I wasn’t too late to get my girl back.
EVY
I stared at the moving dots on the wall as time slipped away. I’d been staring at the same spot ever since I came back home.
Lost.
I was lost.
Everything in me hurt.
Chafing its way up my heart.
Every part of me felt detached and desolate.
I was tired.
Tired and exhausted.
I wasn’t sure how much more tired I could take before I crumbled to nothingness.
A sudden ramble struck me out of my thoughts.
I sighed.
The ramble continued this time with a familiar voice calling out my name.
“Evy, I know you’re in there. Please open the door.”
Strawberry howled, peering at me with her brown eyes.
“Evy, I’m not leaving until you open up.” A twist jarred its way up my door handle, and my eyes widened as it opened.
Fuck. I forgot to lock the door.
His blues narrowed. “Are you fucking kidding me, Evelyn? You didn’t lock the door. What if it wasn’t me? Do you know how dangerous that is? Especially after what happened?” He shut the door with a thud, making sure to secure the lock.
“I don’t want you here. Please leave,” I whispered.
Strawberry whined as she slid in next to me on the couch, trying to get my attention.
His eyes darted to my hands. “Fuck, you need ice,” he cursed as he rushed to the kitchen and brought back a bag of frozen peas. I watched as he wrapped a soft towel over it and gently tried to pry my hands.
“I’m fine.” I sighed. “I can take care of it.”
“No,” he asserted, pressing it to my red knuckles.
“Thanks,” I muttered as I took it away from him.
Minutes of silence passed before he heaved out a heavy sigh, dropping to his knees in front of me. His hand approached my cheek.
I swatted it away. “Leave. I don’t want to see you. I want to be alone.”
But he didn’t listen. He never did.
Both his hands sneaked their way despite my protests and cupped my cheeks, bringing my gaze to his.
The look in his eyes was something I hadn’t seen in a long time. I wasn’t sure what it was.
His gaze burned deep down to my soul.
A mixture of pain laced with hurt and despair.
I sighed, once again. “What?”
His thumbs rubbed along the softness of my cheek. “I’m sorry,” he admitted, and the warmth of his voice spread straight to my heart.
And at that moment, I knew, what he was sorry for.
I dashed his hands away as I shot to my feet. “I don’t care, please leave.”
“Evy, please.” His hand clasped my wrist pulling me to him as he rose to his full height. “Why?” A visible swallow worked down the column of his throat. “Why did you do it, sweetheart? You should’ve come to me.”
I gritted my teeth, my heart lurching in my chest. “I don’t want to talk about this now. It doesn’t matter anyway.”
His grip tightened. “Why, Evelyn?”
“Because it was your fucking dream, Jay,” I screamed. “It was your fucking dream, okay? It was all you ever talked about.”
“God, Evelyn. How can you be so stupid? Did you not know that you were my fucking dream,” he roared, his face an inch away from mine.
Every molecule of my anatomy froze as the air feeding my lungs stopped.
“Yes, I wanted to make it, be a fucking rock star,” he thundered as he shook his head. “But not with you as a cost. I wanted you more than I ever wanted anything in my life.”
A sob escaped my parted lips as I yanked my hands out of his grip. “What!? Now it’s my fault? My fucking fault that some bitch held your dream over my head. I know you better than anyone, Jay. Let me guess what would’ve happened.” I pushed his chest as I closed in on him. “I would’ve told you everything. We would’ve been okay for the first few years, trying to hold on to the hope that you’d make it. You would’ve lost every single opportunity to score a record deal no matter how hard or how talented you were. And then a few years down the line, it would’ve started as a spark—your blame. You would’ve blamed me for the rest of your life.”
“Don’t tell me how I would’ve felt, Evelyn. You have no idea what could’ve happened,” he roared back.
“It’s the goddamn fucking truth, Jay. It’s hard to understand, but it’s the fucking truth. Though, it doesn’t matter now. None of it matters now.” I sniffled.
“Fuck, Evy.” He pulled my wiggling body into his arms, holding me so fucking tight. “It does matter.” He tilted my chin to anchor me with his eyes. “Evelyn, you don’t fucking understand. I feel like a fucking failure.” His voice broke in that last sentence.
The beat in my heart fibrillated in a rhythm I couldn’t recognize.
“You don’t need to,” I murmured. “You only got here because of your talent. Not because of me.”
He shook his head, a long strand escaping in front of his eyes. “I wasn’t talking about that. I know that. I was talking about you. I failed you.”
Air slowly filled my lungs as I thought about it, and for the first time, I agreed. “You did. Not because you couldn’t see that it was all fake six years ago but because you didn’t believe me when I told you everything. But especially because you went to her in the end. I know even now you only believe me because you found some sort of proof.”
Guilty blue eyes stared back at me.
I exhaled a painful breath as a watery smile spread across my lips. “You hurt me, Jay. It still hurts when we were trying to be friends, but I looked past it. But even after all that you went to her. Because…” I paused, as lakes of tears pooled my eyes. “Because if it was me, I would’ve rushed to you, no matter what. I would’ve trusted everything you said just because it was you. Even after all these years, I would’ve done that, Jay, and I know I shouldn’t expect the same from you, but it kills me… No wait, it’s still killing me that you treat me like this.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” he said softly.
I shrugged. “Well, there’s nothing you can do now. It’s done. It’s finished. I’m too tired to even think about it.”
His fingers laced through mine—calluses meeting the delicate skin on my palms. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I’m sorry I was too blind to see you struggle all alone. All those times you lashed out and came back crying to me, I should’ve known that something was going on. The way you kept questioning me about her and how the label was fucking us up, I should’ve known something. I should’ve done something. I couldn’t fathom the fact that I lost you because of this.” His voice cracked at the end.
“Jay.” I traced a finger down his stubble. “I don’t regret what I did. I never did, and I never will. This isn’t about anyone else. This is about you and me. Because even after all this, I love you, but we destroyed ourselves. The doubts and the fears will always keep haunting us no matter what. We are not the Evy and Jay we once used to be.”
“I know, and that scares me.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “All I know is that I want you in my life. I don’t think I can go another day without you, Evelyn. I thought I could live without you, but if these past few months have taught me anything, I merely existed all these years as a hollow, empty version of myself that I hardly recognized. The moment you came back, my dead heart started beating again, and I realized there is no me without you.” A molten glimmer made his blue eyes shimmer. “I swear I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I’ll do everything in my power to fix this, fix us.”
I took a deep breath and forced every single bone in my body to obey as I heaved myself out of his hold.
“I understand. But I need time to process all this, Jay. Even in these past few months, how many times have we separated and gotten back together? And every time, it ends the same. With hurt and pain.” I dragged the back of my hand through the wetness racing down my cheek. I started in a low whisper, my voice hardly audible from the growing lump lodged in my throat. “I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to come back if I get hurt again.” I wept, trickles and trickles of saltiness sliding over my skin.
It felt like mountains sat right in the center of my chest.
“Hey.” He tucked a loose tendril behind my ear. His palm slid to the back of my neck as he angled my head toward him. “I won’t let anyone hurt you again, including me. I promise.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
A soft smile lifted his lips. “You don’t have to say anything.”
I nodded, swallowing the heaviness down my throat. “I think it’s better if you leave. I’m going to sleep.”
He huffed out a heavy sigh. “Fine,” he mumbled. “When can I see you again?”
“I don’t know, Jay,” I answered honestly.
“Okay. And please lock the door behind me.” He brought my head to his chest, hugging me tight.
The softness of his shirt caressed my cheek as his scent invaded me. It was like being in the middle of a forest swathed by seawater. Unusual but home. It felt like home.
I separated my betraying body from him.
“Good night, Evelyn. Take care of yourself.” He stood by my doorway casting me a forlorn stare.
“I will,” I mumbled as I locked the door behind him.
That night’s sleep took me fast. I crashed into a deep slumber, dreaming of daisy fields, green grass, laughter, and a willow tree.
I didn’t know what it meant.
But it made me smile.