Chapter Ten #5
“If that’s complaining, then I’d love to hear your praise,” Seth purred, and Sera detected the undercurrent between them.
The something that simmered below the surface of their smiles.
In the time she’d been away, they had connected.
A part of her was happy for Seth, he deserved someone kind and gentle like Varian appeared to be, but then a darker part of her hated the thought of being alone again.
If Seth had someone like Varian, with money and luxury, he wouldn’t need her anymore. He would leave. And she would be alone.
“As insufferable as this exchange has become, I’m anxious to get to the matter at hand,” Kieran prompted.
“Excuse me? I am undeniably charming,” Seth countered.
“What did I say?” Kieran asked.
“You called them insufferable,” Sera mumbled, hugging her arms to her chest and rubbing her shoulders.
“I’m sure it was an unintentional mistake,” Varian offered, though Sera could tell that the use of ‘insufferable’ had been exactly what Kieran meant. In fact, she was inclined to agree.
What would she do without Seth? He was the reason she was going to start making good decisions, her reason for turning her life around.
Now there were no stakes, no one to need her.
So what was the point in trying? The thought of returning to her life before Cole left her hollow. She’d had nothing before.
Varian pointed to a box on one of the end tables. “I thought it best to keep it concealed and, to be honest, the sight of it is filled with bitter memories. It’s quite harmless to the touch, its effects only work if it is worn.”
“Wraith has asked for the Charm,” Kieran said. “Directly, I’m afraid.”
“Thaddeus Wraith?” Varian and Seth said together, then they shared a look. How fucking adorable. How cute. She could just… eat them up. Sera’s nails were leaving indents in her palms.
“Yes, that Wraith. He knows of Cole’s intentions and he wants the Charm.
However, I don’t feel comfortable putting such a dangerous object in the hands of a known criminal.
Would you have any reservations if we broke the charm first?
I will simply relate that it was found that way and hopefully even a broken charm will be enough to appease Wraith. ” Kieran nodded toward the box.
“Not at all. It probably should have been destroyed long ago. I’m just glad to be rid of it. And…” Varian’s gaze unmistakably drifted toward Seth. “I’m glad for the reason to return.”
Sera scoffed and looked away. She hated how her attempt to be happy for her friend had started to shrivel into something ugly. She wanted to be happy for him. She would be happy for him. Which meant she’d have to ignore everything else.
“Then your efforts are appreciated Varian,” Kieran said, retrieving the box. “I’ll have Meera show you out.”
“Wait, you’re just going to kick him out?” Seth asked.
Kieran’s face never shifted, but the pause indicated he did not grasp Seth’s reasoning. “Our business is concluded. He’s hardly being thrown to the street.”
“North was always a bit brisk about company. He’d manage about an hour of hide and seek or detectives before he’d excuse himself to read or return to his room.
” Varian’s mouth snapped closed, not daring to meet Kieran’s eyes.
“But, he’s right. It’s time I left. I do have my own life to, well, I guess I don’t have any pressing engagements, but it’s rude to linger. ” Varian shuffled for the door.
Seth followed, probably to exchange goodbyes that, frankly, Sera could not tolerate. She waited, listening for the sound of Varian’s exit.
“You have been glaring at Varian since we arrived,” Kieran said, their bodies aligned—but not actually touching—as she faced the doorway to the foyer.
“I wasn’t glaring.”
He looked down at her, she could feel his gaze, though she refused to check. “At one point you bared your teeth.”
She hugged her arms tighter around herself. “So what? What’s your point? I—” She heard the front door close and raced forward without a word.
“Seth!” Sera caught up with him on the stairs. “Seth, I—”
“What the hell was that?” Seth raised an eyebrow at her.
Sera fumbled for words, nothing coherent coming to mind.
“Ah. I see. So you can have a hot, rich suitor, but I have to sit here, alone, waiting for the scraps of your free time? And don’t think I don’t smell that on you, you reek of pine.” He started up the stairs again.
“Seth, listen, I have no problem with you finding someone, you know that.”
“Do I though?” Seth didn’t stop, but talked as she fought to keep pace with him. “You were glaring at Varian the entire time he was here. And all the while, you walk in saturated in pine-scented debauchery. Thought we were keeping away from Kieran?”
“I was. I am.”
“His hair looked more sex-teased than a whore.”
“Seth, just listen to me. You’re right.”
Seth stopped, just outside their door. He didn’t go inside, but he crossed his arms and remained silent long enough for her to catch her breath and her racing thoughts.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I got caught up in the moment, but Seth, we’re friends.
We’re best friends. I only ever want what’s best for you.
And Varian seems nice. I would want to be sure, but I don’t see any warnings yet.
All I’m asking is to slow down, take a minute.
He’s clearly interested, he’s not going anywhere, you have time. ”
Seth huffed, but finally met her eyes. “I suppose you’re not wrong. And… I guess I forgive you. Because, honestly, I feel really good right now and the last thing I want to do is be pissed off.”
Seth’s good humor was restored, but Sera did not feel any better. She was glad he forgave her but the fear of losing him was starting to fester.
When it was time to eat, their trays waiting outside their room like always, she realized that she hadn’t spoke to Kieran since Varian left. As much as she wanted to see if any of their former spark was salvageable, she couldn’t bring herself to leave Seth.
Kieran was a risk, a step toward uncertainty that she merely hoped would be as good as she imagined. Seth was her one real connection since Gideon. She had to make sure that Varian didn’t come between them, to make sure Seth understood that she would be there for him.
She brought in the trays and let Seth know she’d be back in a second. Closing the door, she hesitated. Not sure if she had the strength to do what she intended.
The layout of this house was still somewhat perplexing.
She wasn’t used to so many rooms and hallways and servants stairs.
It was endless. But she guessed Kieran would be in the dining room on the ground floor.
It was probably the first time he’d been home on time for dinner.
And she was supposed to be the appetizer.
Damn it, Sera, get a grip on yourself.
She could hear him well before she entered, pausing to steel her nerves before barging forward.
Kieran jumped from his seat when she entered, dropping his fork full of food back to the plate with a clatter.
“Sera.”
She looked down at his plate, a smile threatening to form even though she did not feel at all like smiling.
He cleared his throat and fixed his fork properly back on the napkin. He still hadn’t sat down.
“Was your tray not brought up as planned?” He asked, likely to fill the silence. She had let the atmosphere turn awkward.
“Yes, thank you,” she said.
He nodded.
She looked at her shoes.
He stepped away from the table, closer to her but not breaching her space. “I hope you’re not here on my account. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“You would say that,” she said, grinning despite herself, “but I do owe you an explanation, even if I can’t fully give you one. I just disappeared without a word when, well, when the course of this evening was heavily implied.”
Was he blushing?
He shook his head. “Don’t give it another thought. You have an obligation to your friend who I assume needed you. I do understand when obligations get in the way of… other things.”
“He does need me…”
“Then there is nothing to explain.”
She was dangerously close to declaring her love for him on the spot, but she wasn’t quite ready for that sort of whimsy yet.
“You’re making this way too easy. I don’t want you to think I wasn’t… that I didn’t want to finish what we started,” she said.
His eyes were staring straight through to her soul. How could she leave when he looked at her like that?
“Consider the misunderstanding corrected.” He swallowed, and nodded his head.
He was being too nice. Why was he being so nice? Why wasn’t he pulling her over the table and tearing off her dress?
Make-up your mind, Sera. Do you want him or not?
Gods, yes I do.
But…
Ignoring Seth so she could fool around with Kieran would not help her case. Seth already accused her of leaving him alone constantly in favor of Kieran.
“Goodnight,” she said, though it was still several hours before a reasonable bedtime.
His body tensed—a week ago she would never have noticed. “Yes, goodnight, Sera.”
Her feet almost went forward, straight for Kieran. But she turned and somehow managed to make it back to her room without stopping.
Hours later, she lay in bed staring at the lavish canopy. Sleep tormented her. She either dreamed of Kieran and woke filled with unsated desire. Or she dreamed of Seth leaving her, despair and loneliness dampening her pillow with tears.