Chapter 5
FIVE
Beckett Harrington
I had reread Theo’s text so many times since he sent it—hours ago now, after I’d fled his house—that the words had started to blur together. My phone felt heavier in my hand with every pass, like it was pressing the truth into my palm.
I’m here when you’re ready. We have some things to discuss.
I still didn’t know what had sent me running faster: the shock of my body betraying me after what I’d seen, the chaos of screaming at his enemy while they were both still naked, or the quiet, devastating realization that the person I trusted most had been lying to me all along.
I’d never thought Theo capable of that. We’d grown up side by side, inseparable—two halves of the same soul, or so I’d always believed.
I replayed the past in my head, searching for cracks I might’ve missed.
Had he really thought I’d be ashamed of him?
The irony burned. After my reaction to the live show, it was painfully clear that knowing about his secret wouldn’t have changed how I felt about him at all.
If anything, it had cracked something open inside me, exposing feelings I wasn’t ready to name, let alone face.
Theo and I had always blurred the lines in ways I’d never questioned.
We curled up together during movie nights, limbs tangled under shared blankets.
We fell asleep in the same bed like it was the most natural thing in the world, affectionate in ways that never raised alarms—at least not the ones I was willing to hear.
When I chose him over dates, over half-hearted attempts at romance with other people, I told myself it was normal.
Best friends spent time together. Best friends chose each other.
But maybe my mind had been whispering something all along, and I’d been too afraid to listen.
Dad’s expectations loomed over every unasked question, every feeling I folded away before it could take shape.
I’d learned early what kind of future he’d planned for me, and where queerness fit into it—which was nowhere at all.
Still, today something shifted. Lucas’s news had cracked the foundation beneath those plans, and for the first time, I realized I didn’t care if they collapsed entirely.
Reality hit fast after that. This week, I’d have to talk to someone at the office, figure out how to switch my classes—even if I didn’t yet know how I’d pay for them.
I had a few weeks to scrape together enough money for a payment plan, and the thought made my chest tighten.
I’d never really chosen myself before, never taken a step without someone else’s approval guiding it.
But I knew I didn’t have a choice anymore.
Theo would be there. I was certain of that.
He’d probably offer to cover everything without hesitation, like it was nothing.
The thought twisted my stomach. I could never let him do that—could never ask for that kind of sacrifice.
And when my mind drifted toward next year, toward everything that came after… I forced myself to stop.
One impossible decision at a time was all I could handle.
Despite his offer, I wasn’t ready to talk—not yet.
The walls of my room felt too close, heavy with everything I was avoiding, so I forced myself out into the living room instead.
My brothers were exactly where I expected them to be, sprawled in front of the TV, controllers in hand, voices overlapping as they shouted at the screen. They’d been at it for hours.
Classes were supposed to start for me tomorrow—though I already knew I wouldn’t be showing up.
Lucas and Ian were on a Tuesday-and-Thursday schedule, which meant the apartment felt almost peaceful during the day.
I liked the space, the rare freedom of not constantly orbiting other people’s routines.
Even if, more often than not, I filled that quiet with Theo, anyway.
I stepped directly in front of the TV. The game continued behind me, flashes of color reflecting off the wall as both of them yelled for me to move. I didn’t. I just stood there, arms at my sides, until their protests dissolved into irritated sighs.
“We need to have a serious conversation,” I said. Then I reached out and shut off the TV. The screen went black. “Fuck the game.”
The room went still.
“Ian’s funding is fine for this semester,” Lucas said finally, too casual. “Chill.”
“This semester?” Ian asked, eyes widening.
Of course he hadn’t told Lucas. Leave it to my brother to sit on something like this until it detonated on its own. And of course my mother hadn’t bothered to fill in the gaps either. Communication had never been her strong suit when it came to damage control.
“Dad’s been arrested,” I said, the words coming out with a bitter edge.
“My tuition check bounced because his assets are frozen. Mom’s convinced he’s getting out and everything will go back to normal, but Lucas knows better.
” I folded my arms tight against my chest and shot Lucas a look, tapping my foot against the floor. “Don’t you?”
Lucas let out a long breath, dragging a hand down his face before straightening.
“Dad’s been stealing from his business. Laundering money,” he said.
“I knew.” He hesitated, jaw tightening. “And yeah, I should’ve told you.
I didn’t. I was too busy trying to wrap my head around my own future imploding. ”
Ian surged up from the couch. “So what, you just sat on that important piece of information?” he snapped.
“I’m fine,” Lucas shot back, voice rising now.
“I have money set aside that can’t be touched.
I’ll survive.” He took a breath, forcing himself calmer as he looked between us.
“Ian, we’ll figure things out. Beckett…” His gaze lingered, heavier.
“It’s time you started being responsible for yourself.
There are loans. Grants. Aid you might qualify for. ”
I swallowed the reply burning at the back of my throat.
I didn’t tell him I already had a plan. I couldn’t. The second the words left my mouth, he’d dissect it, call it reckless, try to save me from myself. Worse, he’d tell the rest of the family, and that would be it. Another spectacle. Another reason for them to look at me like a problem to solve.
I kept my mouth shut. Some risks weren’t worth explaining.
In that moment, it hit me that I was standing on the same side of a lie.
I was about to keep something from someone I cared about, something that could change everything once it came out.
How could I be angry at Theo for hiding the truth when I was planning to do the exact same thing?
No matter how well you think you know someone, there’s always that sharp uncertainty, the fear of how they’ll look at you once you say it out loud.
The realization settled heavy in my chest.
I knew what I had to do.
I didn’t warn Theo I was coming over. Fear had something to do with that—fear of rejection, of him shutting the door before I could even explain myself.
So, I got in my car and drove over unannounced, nerves tightening with every mile, not that there were many.
I hoped Asher would be there too. As much as I despised him, he had to be part of this.
Somewhere along the way, he’d become woven into Theo’s life in a way I couldn’t ignore.
Whatever this strange, fragile dynamic was, I was about to ask to step into it.
I just didn’t know if either of them would let me.
Using the code suddenly felt wrong. After what I’d seen, after what I now knew, it felt like crossing a line I couldn’t uncross. I decided that knocking was safer.
Asher answered.
He stood there in pajama pants slung low on his hips, bare skin exposed, the clean lines of his abdomen impossible not to notice.
My eyes lingered despite myself, tracking familiar shapes I’d never had permission to see up close before, before I forced my gaze higher.
He was already smirking when our eyes met.
The bruise on his cheek had darkened, blooming where my fist had landed earlier, unmistakable evidence of my temper.
“Back for round two?” he asked, a quiet laugh threading through his words.
I couldn’t tell if he meant the fight or what I’d walked in on before.
I cleared my throat.
As he shifted, another bruise showed along his side, older, yellowing at the edges. Healing. I told myself it was none of my business, that I didn’t care. My eyes didn’t listen. The question rose anyway, sharp and unwanted, and I swallowed it down before it could escape.
Then the earlier moment replayed in my head—my hand, his face, the sound of impact. I’d been just another person who hurt him. Another confirmation of everything he already thought about me. I’d proven him right the second I let violence speak for me.
And standing there now, caught between guilt and resentment, I wasn’t sure which feeling scared me more.
I followed him inside and closed the door; the click echoed louder than it should have. Theo was already on the couch. The moment he noticed me, he startled to his feet, eyes wide like he hadn’t decided yet whether to be relieved or afraid.
“I didn’t think I’d see you so soon,” he said.
I smiled, even though my chest felt tight. “I can’t stay mad at you,” I admitted. “Or away from you.”
He hesitated, uncertainty written all over his face, as if he wasn’t sure what I’d allow anymore. So, I made the decision for both of us. I crossed the space and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into me. It wasn’t dramatic or desperate. Just a quiet truce, my way of saying I was still here.
He relaxed a fraction against me, and for a heartbeat, everything else fell away.
Then I saw Asher in my peripheral vision, moving toward his bedroom.