Chapter 5 #2
I didn’t know if the sight of me holding Theo was what sent him retreating, or if my presence alone was enough. Either way, panic spiked. If I let him walk away now, I knew myself well enough to know I’d lose my nerve.
I pulled back from Theo, even though every instinct screamed not to. “Wait,” I blurted. “I need to talk to both of you.”
My pulse thudded in my ears as Asher stopped. He turned slowly, then changed direction, dropping onto the couch with deliberate ease. A smirk curved his mouth, lazy and knowing, as if he already had the ending figured out.
The look on his face made my stomach twist. He knew. Or at least, he thought he did. The question was whether he’d use it to humiliate me, or just sit back and watch me unravel.
I thought about the possibility of Asher and me touching during the videos, and I didn’t hate it as much as I should have. Not when the idea of being rough with him thrilled me almost as much as the thought of giving him more pleasure than anyone else ever had. Of forcing him to admit it.
Me. The guy he hated. Bringing him to his knees.
The thought lingered, unsettling and fascinating all at once.
“You should take a seat, Theo,” I said, my fingers fidgeting as he pulled away from me and did as asked. He folded easily into Asher’s side, like it was second nature, like it hadn’t just cracked something open in my chest.
“You can say anything, Beckett,” Theo said gently, reminding me of what I already knew.
I trusted him. And somehow, against my better judgment, Asher was tangled up in that trust too. I hated him, but at this moment, I needed him. That left me no choice but to hand over my faith blindly. Much like me, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Theo. I was certain of that.
“Tell me about the videos,” I said, locking eyes with Theo so there was no confusion about who I wanted answers from. “How you make money. All of it.”
Asher might’ve been involved, but I didn’t want to hear his voice. Not when bitterness still burned in my throat over the things he’d experienced with Theo that I hadn’t.
“And how the hell did I not know about this?” I added, unable to keep the hurt from slipping through.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you,” Theo said quickly. “I was scared. I should’ve known you wouldn’t judge me.” He paused. “I promote everything to a private group through my socials. You wouldn’t see it. Not that you’re ever online.”
He wasn’t wrong. Social media had never held much appeal for me. I filled my time with studying, partying, and women, leaving no room to curate a version of myself for strangers. Building a personal brand had never crossed my mind the way it clearly had his.
And now, the difference sat between us, impossible to ignore.
“So, you use your own names? And you don’t fear anything?” I asked.
In the past, it was common for people to use porn names, but when people started switching to FanFeed and doing more personal content, it became more common for people to use their own names. Especially when, like Theo, they already had a following and wanted to capitalize on that.
Not that I had experience watching videos on there. Nope. Not at all.
“There’s no point in trying to hide who I am,” Theo said. “Everyone knows who I am, duh,” he said jokingly, but he wasn’t wrong, not with his follower count and his dad’s career.
Theo was the heir to a popular boutique hotel chain. He loved the spotlight, and it loved him.
His answers helped me gain the clarity I needed.
“It’s no secret I need money,” I said, clearing my throat when my voice threatened to falter. “And obviously, you’re making enough for tuition and rent doing… videos.” I hesitated, then forced myself to keep going. “I was hoping I could join you. Both of you. I need something steady.”
Asher let out a soft laugh, the kind that scraped along my nerves. That smug grin was already in place, like he’d been waiting for this. “You know that means having sex with men, right?” His gaze dragged over me deliberately. “Including me.”
I held his stare, refusing to blink. I did know.
I’d known the moment I walked in. And somewhere between anger and curiosity, I’d already decided I would do what I had to.
Tuition covered. Rent handled. And answers to questions I’d been avoiding for years.
It wasn’t the worst deal I’d ever considered.
Theo rolled his eyes and lightly smacked Asher’s chest. “Don’t be an ass.”
I exhaled slowly. “I had… feelings,” I admitted, the word tasting foreign.
“When I saw you two this morning.” My jaw tightened, but I didn’t look away.
“Feelings I want to figure out. I’m not opposed to being with either of you.
Even you,” I added, glancing at Asher. “No matter how much I hate you.” A pause.
Then, quieter but sharper, “I think it’d be fun to fuck you. ”
Asher’s smile widened. “Oh, Beckett. If that ever happened, I’d be the one doing the fucking.” He punctuated it with a wink.
Theo flushed instantly, color blooming across his cheeks.
“Asher’s a top,” he said quickly, like he was trying to regain control of the conversation.
“Exclusively. Which works for me.” He glanced at me, eyes bright, a little too bright.
“If you want to top, it’d be with me. But Asher could still help with the videos.
Directing. Producing.” His voice warmed as he spoke, momentum carrying him forward.
“Viewers would love it. The whole angle of teaching the straight guy how to be with men for money? That would blow up.”
I didn’t miss the signs. The way his pupils had blown wide. The way his mouth stayed parted when he finished, like the idea lingered there, buzzing between us.
“When can we start?” I asked, knowing I was sold on the idea before I left my place.
Theo’s lips curved into a smile. “We could do something simple. A blowjob video. See how my audience reacts.”
Asher snorted. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
I recognized the challenge instantly. He always did this, pushing until I snapped back. And like an idiot, I rose to it every time.
Most men would probably need more time to come to terms with making gay porn, and being attracted to men in general after decades of life, but I didn't. Part of it was Asher's challenge, part of it was need, and the final part?
It felt like a giant fuck you to my parents, and to the family name Father cared so deeply about.
More than he cared about the family itself.
“Show me where you want me,” I responded.
Theo nearly sprang off the couch, already moving toward the room where they filmed. I didn’t need him to explain—one accidental walk-in had been enough to make the purpose clear. The camera still sat where they’d left it earlier, perched on its tripod at the foot of the bed like a silent observer.
“Why don’t you strip into your boxers and sit on the edge of the bed,” Theo said lightly, already halfway turned away. “We’ll take it from there.”
He crossed the room to Asher, their voices dropping too low for me to catch.
I didn’t have to hear the words to know what they were doing—planning, adjusting, deciding how this would look.
I followed Theo’s instructions and perched on the edge of the mattress, my hands resting uselessly on my thighs, waiting.
When they came back, Asher lifted the camera from the tripod, testing its weight, angling it as if I were already on display.
“Asher will record so we can get more angles,” Theo said. “He might talk, too.” Then his tone shifted. He hesitated, rocking slightly on his heels, eyes skimming the floor before finding mine again. “If anything feels wrong, say stop. We will.”
A beat passed.
“Are you sure you want this, Beckett?” His voice caught on my name. “There’s no going back.”
“Yes, please. I’m ready, I promise. I trust you, Theo,” I assured him.
This was uncharted territory for us, but I was ready to ride the waves with him, even if it meant dealing with Asher.
Theo gave Asher a quick nod. A soft click followed, barely audible, but I felt it anyway—the moment the recording started.
Theo turned toward the camera as if he’d slipped into another skin, voice easy, practiced. He talked about a straight friend willing to experiment for the first time, framing it like a challenge, a prize. It wasn’t a lie. Not entirely. Still, the label felt thinner than it used to.
Straight men didn’t usually end up like this—sitting in their boxers while their best friend knelt between their parted thighs.
Theo stayed fully dressed, and somehow that made it worse. Hotter. The contrast. My bare skin against his clothes. I didn’t know why I was still in my boxers, only that he’d told me to stay that way—and I hadn’t questioned it.
His hand slid over my thigh, slow and deliberate, fingers dipping beneath the waistband. He leaned in, mouth brushing kisses over fabric, unhurried, like he knew exactly what it was doing to me. My breath caught. I stared down at him, frozen, every nerve lighting up at once.
I’d been missing this. Somehow, I knew that without needing to think it through.
“Holy… wow,” slipped out of me as his tongue traced the outline through the thin fabric, my words breaking with my breath. My fingers found his hair, curling there without permission, while my other hand pressed into the comforter beneath me—the same one I’d seen them tangled in earlier.
The thought should’ve bothered me. It didn’t.
“Bet you won’t last once he gets his mouth on you,” Asher said, that familiar smirk cutting my way.
I shot him a glare, jaw locking, heat flaring sharp and unwanted—my pulse betraying me where it mattered most.
“Mmm, I think your fighting is foreplay to him,” Theo suggested, his lips making a soft pop as they released me.