Chapter Four
“You don’t have to worry, brother,” Lee said from the other side of the island as I glared at the closed bedroom door. “Amara’s got her.”
It wasn’t that.
I knew Amara would handle Dominique with care.
“Cain,” Dontell called, trying to get my attention.
“What?” I clipped, looking to the living area where he was seated on the couch, his elbows on his knees. There was a black binder on the coffee table in front of him, opened to the center with a ball-point pen lying on top. The accounts for Oasis.
The man sat back, leveling with me. “Are you pissed for the same reason we are, or are you pissed because we took Nikki home and you didn’t?”
All of the fucking above.
For weeks, I’d only felt one thing: rage. I couldn’t get a handle on it. On the outside, I tried my best to appear calm, and around the guys, I usually succeeded, but around her…
Fuck, just her presence made my blood boil, and last night tipped the damn pot over.
“I’m good,” I lied, pushing my damp hair back.
Leon was staring at me as he muttered, “Must’ve been a messy favor.”
Back at the hospital, I wanted to go back into the room with Lee and Dontell, but I got a call from Jer asking me to meet him at my storage unit. Instead of going to check on the one person who was driving me insane, I left. When I got there, I half-expected Collin to be there.
He was, along with my brother.
The engine of my Silvia hummed lowly as I slowed it to a stop, my eyes on the Mafia King and his right-hand man—my older brother. Xander was everything I wasn’t. He’d made some bad choices in the past and ended up in prison, but he had his shit together, finally.
Without prison, he would’ve never met Collin, who recruited him, giving him a sense of freedom I’d never known. I envied my brother for having something I never could, and if that made me a shitty person, then so be it. It was just another thing to add to the fucking list.
Jaw tight, I pushed out all the air in my lungs through my nose as I shut off the car and folded out of it. The sun was high this morning, providing just a touch of warmth in the middle of winter. We were set to have a bad snowstorm within a few days, and there was still a lot to be done to prepare at Oasis. We needed to lock up the doors, clean out the bays, and I needed to get my engine designs back to my place.
If I was going to be snowed in, I could at least be working on something.
A gust of wind hit me as I walked over to the Mafia Don, who standing in front of his SUV dressed in a black suit with a thick, black coat hanging down from his shoulders. His hands were in his pant pockets, a cigarette hanging from his lips as his cold, blue eyes watched me.
Collin Stevens was the deadliest man on the planet.
He was a demon.
I’d seen his work and heard of his horrors long before I came to St. Louis. The title he had now was his birth-right, but he had to work for it. He single-handedly overthrew the Romano family a year ago, killing the head, Ray Romano. His soul was darker than mine.
Jer’s Challenger pulled up beside the SUV, the rumbling engine coming to a stop as he shut off the car and stepped out. “Fuck, it”s cold,” he bit off, shutting the door and coming to greet his brother-in-law.
“How’s Kay?” Jer asked as I approached.
“A little shaken up, but she’s fighting,” Collin replied, referring to his wife. One of Collin’s men was decapitated on his island—while Kay was home. I watched Collin as a wicked smile spread across his face. “She’s vengeful.”
Jer scoffed. “That she fucking is,” he muttered, looking at me. He lifted his chin. “Nikki doing okay?”
Unclenching my jaw, I replied, “She’s alright. The doc is seeing her soon to go over her injuries.” My eyes snapped over my brother, noting his rigid stance. “You good?”
He nodded. “Ready for this to be over.”
“That bastard from last night gone?” I pressed. We’d left my brother alone with the dead Russian to clean up when we got word of the wreck.
Xander nodded once, chewing his gum. He always chewed gum, something he picked up during middle school.
Waiting for him to elaborate, I stared at him. He didn’t meet my eyes, and I was reminded all over again that he didn’t see me as a brother, just a man with a big brain he needed to bring in for his boss. He would never know what I”d sacrificed for him. He didn’t deserve to know the whole truth, but I was happy he still had breath in his lungs.
“Cain, I need to know something,” the Mafia King said, breaking the family tension.
Slowly, I looked over to him, taking in his black hair with an undercut, the tattoos around his neck disappearing into the collar of his shirt. “No, I didn’t recognize the fucker from last night.”
He smirked as I noticed the Oasis leader visibly stiffening beside him. “Are you certain?”
I’d been on thin ice majority of my fucking adult life because of one choice I made in The Pit in Detroit. Through gritted teeth, I assured him. “Yes. It has been over ten years, Stevens.”
He stared at me, using silence as a form of intimidation. The smoke from his shrinking cigarette swirling into the air above our heads. He brought out a single hand, taking a deep drag.
That didn’t work on me.
Fear didn’t work on me anymore. Kavi made sure of that.
“Why am I here instead of at the hospital?” I pressed, looking at Jeremy. “What”s the favor?”
“Ah, yes. Xander, if you would,” Collin began, turning to my brother as he flicked his cigarette away.
Fuck, was I going to need one of those today?
“We need you to take out the trash,” Collin continued, looking at me.
“Done.” I moved, following Xander to the back of the SUV
As he opened the trunk, he said, “He’s testing you.”
“I’m not a fucking idiot,” I replied shortly.
“Never said you were,” he muttered.
The back of the SUV opened to reveal a young man with bloodshot eyes and dirt all over him. Collin and Jer joined us. “Who is this?” I asked no one in particular.
“The man who sold the Russian the C-4 that was strapped to Leon’s car,” Collin answered simply.
The darkness inside my soul grinned, leaving me unsettled. I hated that side of me, the tainted side. How I craved a normal fucking life…
“Before I take out this trash,” I began, turning to the men, ”shouldn’t Lee get the honors?”
Collin’s head ticked to the side. “Dominique Wells isn’t important to Leon, not in that sense.”
Every muscle in my body tensed at his words—his assumption. “What the—”
“There’s no need to deny it, Cain,” Jer cut in. “Collin is up to speed.”
“For once,” Stevens added, looking at me with a hint of frustration in his eyes. When he brought me on, he didn’t know about my history with the Bratva, and neither did Xander. All they knew was that I could drive and build some of the best engines in the world.
I understood his distrust towards me, and I’d do just about anything to earn it. I wanted a place here.
I wanted it more than the breath in my lungs. For so long, I’d been lost, and Oasis was starting to feel like home.
You protect your home.
With everything you have.
“I’ll take care of it,” I said after a moment, looking the powerful man in the eye.
“I know you will, Cain.” With that, he turned to the man in the truck. I watched at the well-mannered king transformed into the demon everyone on the streets knew him as. He got closer to the SUV, causing the poor man to scramble back, but not by much, his hands and ankles bound together with zip ties.
“You’re too young,” Stevens told the man, who looked like he was fresh out of a college. Jer and I shared a look.
The C-4 dealer whimpered, tears running down his dirty cheeks as he tried to say something behind the strip of black duck tape over his mouth. The Mafia Don held up his hand. “You messed with the wrong people. Xander told me everything you…screamed last night.”
I looked over to my brother, raising a brow.
Xander shrugged a single shoulder, appearing bored. I tried to picture him questioning a man, torturing him to get the answers he needed, but my brain couldn’t comprehend it. Xander was the golden boy. While I was getting into racing, going to parties, and getting into fights, he was taking his anger out on the football field and getting praised for it.
“Watch out,” Jer warned.
The three of us took a step back as Collin yanked the young man from the car, his back hitting the cold concrete with a thud. “We’ll leave you to it,” Stevens said, his eyes swinging to Jer. “Later.”
“Later,” Jer replied.
Less than a minute later, they were gone, leaving me and the Oasis leader standing over a man on death’s doorstep.
“You need me for this?” Jer asked.
I shook my head, scratching the scruff on my jaw. “Nah, I got it. Your brother-in-law is right to test me.”
The man on the ground groaned.
“Shut up,” Jer and I ordered him before we looked back to each other.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t at the hospital.”
“You were,” I countered.
He shook his head, disappointment coating his features. “One of my racers got into a fucking accident, and I had—”
“We were under attack, Jeremy,” I cut him off. “Your woman is pregnant. No one blames you.”
He sighed, looking away for a moment. “Sometimes, I wonder if I’m doing the right thing, running Oasis and the Crew.”
The Crew was a street organization created by Sullie and Dom decades ago. Its members were from all walks of life, and they protected their city in a way the police couldn’t. A year ago, Sullie stepped down and handed it over to Jeremy.
“You’re the life of Oasis,” I told him, meaning it.
He gave me a half-smile and stretched his arm out, his hand landing on my shoulder. “Thanks, brother.”
Brother.
Jer, Dontell, and Leon had been more of brothers to me than my own flesh and blood. Funny how that blood and water shit turned out. “Anytime.”
The asshole on the ground let out another sound, one that was impossible to describe, remaining me of my favor. Jer and I parted ways—he headed back to Oasis, where Casey had set up shop for the day, and I dragged the man into the storage unit.
Then, after shutting us in, I turned on a small light and got to work. I had to give credit to Kavi: when he was using me as a pawn in his game of greed, I learned how to kill quickly and painlessly. Collin probably expected pain, but I wasn’t in the mood to go to the store.
I only had one cigarette left.
“Okay, stay in the kitchen,” Amara called. “We are heading to the shower.”
Dontell looked back to his binder, his eyes scanning over the numbers. “Any leads on the missing money?” I asked, bracing my hands on the hard, cool granite.
“I think he spent it,” he muttered, jotting something down on the papers. He was referring to Oasis’ rat that Leon and I exposed a few weeks ago, the same night Amara was kidnapped by Victor.
“Not spent—gave it away,” Lee interjected, coming to stand opposite of me, leaning his hip against the island. “To Kavi.”
That actually made sense. Kavi was a slimy, lazy bastard, his thirst for power far too great for his own mind and resources. Of course, he got everything he needed from any other place, aside from his own. He was the kind of man who would chop your hand off for stealing but turn around and steal from his best friend. He was a snake, nothing more. “Kavi never liked digging into his own bank account to get shit done,” I told them.
Dontell shook his head, looking out the window for a moment. He was kicking himself for letting that amount of money slip through his fingers. “We need to move accounts,” he said finally, looking back to the binder, scratching out something.
“Agreed,” Leon muttered, pulling out his phone. “Go. I’ll tell Jer.”
Dontell slapped the binder closed, picking it up off the table as he rose to his full height. “Tell the girls I’ll be back later.”
“You need me with you?” I offered, feeling the urge to be anywhere but this fucking loft.
Dontell’s brow rose. “Don’t do that.”
“What?”
“Live in denial,” Leon answered, putting the phone to his ear. I chose to ignore his comment.
Denial?
He turned and walked to the fridge. “Hey, D and I are moving the accounts.” A pause. “Yeah, hang on.” He turned back around, putting the phone on speaker and dropping it on the island. “Go.”
“Alright, this needs to have a vote,” Jer informed us.
I looked at Dontell and Leon, wondering what the fuck was going on. “What do you—”
“Cain, you’re in on this vote,” Jer’s voice cut me off.
I froze.
The boys stared at me, waiting for a response and when that didn’t happen, Jer called my name.
They wanted me in on the vote.
Me.
Clearing my throat quickly, I pushed out, “Why do you need me on it?”
Jer fired back an answer. “I don’t need you on it. I want you on it. Over the last few months, you’ve proven yourself to me and the boys.”
My eyes lifted from the phone to Dontell and Leon for confirmation. D nodded, allowing me to solely focus on Leon, a man who’d become a brother to me before I betrayed him in his most desperate hour. He’d just accepted having me in his life, as a part of Oasis, but this…
This was something more. Way more. I didn’t help these men build Oasis from the ground up. I wasn’t there for the first race night. I wasn’t—I didn’t deserve this. Leon held my eyes as Dominique’s shower ran in the background, and the football announcers on the TV went on about play-action passes and flags. I shook my head. “No.”
“What? Is that your vote?” Jer asked on the phone as Dontell’s brows came together while Lee hadn’t moved a single inch.
“My answer is no to getting a vote,” I clarified, pushing off the island and folding my arms over my chest. I broke the stare, looking down to the phone. “I don’t deserve to have a say in this.”
Before any of them could utter a word, I was walking towards the door.
The winter air greeted me, hitting my face as I climbed down the stairs, entering the alley behind the bar where I’d parked. Reaching into my jeans, I pulled out my keys and hit the unlock button on the car. I pulled the driver’s side door open, reaching in and popping open the glove compartment to grab the bent up white box. When I rose back up, I shut the door and turned, leaning my ass against it as I fished out my lighter from my pocket.
It was fucking freezing, but I didn’t care.
I needed this.
Pulling out my last cigarette from the box, I put it between my lips as I flicked the lighter and lit up. Taking a long drag, the chemicals seeped into my system, and as I let out a slow breath, I felt some of the tension release in my shoulders. The sounds of the city surrounded me; cars honking, people chatting and laughing, Sullie’s booming voice from the front of the building as he said goodbye to friends. I tilted my head up to the pale blue sky, reminding me of my own eyes I’d been cursed with as I closed them.
I took another drag.
Held it in for five seconds.
Released.
Over and over until my mind quieted.
Minutes passed, and I knew that I’d have to get up there to check on Dominique. I didn’t want her alone, and I knew she wouldn’t be today. Actually, for the next few days, I was certain that she wouldn’t be alone for a single moment.
But I also knew she would grow to hate it.
As kids, she craved her alone time in her room.
I’d watch from my window as, every single night on the dot at seven thirty, she would go into her room and lock the door. She didn’t want to deal with her overbearing parents.
I brought my head back up, shaking it. She had no idea how good she fucking had it, how much she took for granted.
“Cain?”
I inhaled the last drag as I looked over just in time to see Mina rounding the corner, carrying multiple bags of to-go boxes. Her cinnamon eyes landed on me instantly, and she read me. Holding in the toxic smoke in my lung, not wanting to let it out, I watched as she approached me.
Mina Torrance was a gift from the heavens above. For many years, I didn’t believe in a higher power, but since meeting her, I had no choice but to believe. There was no way a soul like hers just landed on this earth by chance. She was planted here for a reason.
One of those reasons was to be my friend.
Months ago, she’d had a panic attack at Oasis, and we all came to her aid. She referred to me as her friend, and it stuck with me. The last true friend I had was upstairs with bruises all over her body and face.
“It’s too damn cold to be out here, Cain,” Mina teased, smiling at me.
I exhaled, letting the smoke come out my nose as I savored the nicotine high. Mina scrunched her nose, clearly disapproving of my unhealthy habit. “Cain! What have a told you about smoking?”
My lips twitched. “That it”s a nasty habit.”
She ticked her head to the side, reminding me of her brother. “That’s not all.”
“I’m a grown man, Mina,” I reminded her, smiling as I moved from the car to her. Without a word, I took the bags from her hands. She stared at me, shaking her head. Clearing my throat, I imitated her sass. “It’s too damn cold out here.”
“I’m going to smack you,” she warned, trying not to laugh.
A chuckle left me as I jerked my chin to the stairs. “Let’s go before my balls freeze off.”
“Says the man who didn’t wear a fucking coat,” she mumbled underneath her breath as she turned and walked ahead of me.
When we were about halfway up the stairs, she turned on me suddenly. She stared down at me, and I was unable to get a read on the emotions swirling in her gaze. “How are you doing?” she asked.
“Haven’t we already been over this?”
She came down a single step, getting closer to me. She put her hand on my bicep, her thumb rubbing back and forth. The touch alone was enough to send me into a fucking spiral, but I remained neutral. I wasn’t used to physical affection, despite being around this group for a while.
Mina was touchy, so were Gwen Connors and Haley Austen. Gwen gave me a pat on the back one day at Oasis when I answered her question without looking up from the engine I’d been tweaking. Haley flat out gave me a hug at the finish line one night, her FBI agent fiancé watching me closely in the background.
The only time women touched me was when they wanted my fucking dick.
None of these woman had the intention of using me.
“Mina,” I began softly, giving her a smirk to throw her off. “I’m okay. I’m fucking pissed at the situation, but everyone came out okay. Dominique is okay, and that’s what matters. The boys and I…we’re going to end this. Soon.”
Without missing a single beat, she replied, “And what is going to happen when all this Bratva crap is over? What are you going to do?”
“Build engines and race cars. What else would I do?”
She opened her mouth to say something, but the door to the loft opened, and Leon stepped into the sun. Mina looked over her shoulder. “Hey, brother.”
“Sis,” he greeted, looking at her quickly before turning to me. “Why don’t you go inside and help Amara?”
She turned fully to him. “You could just say that you need to talk to Cain.”
He remained still as he replied coolly. “Mina, I need to speak to Cain for a moment.”
“Better,” she approved, turning back to me and reaching for the bags.
“I got them,” I assured her.
Mina’s eyes met mine. “Let him in, Cain,” she whispered, pleading with me.
My grip on the bags loosened as she took them. Thirty seconds later, she was inside, and Leon was making his way down the stairs. He stopped two steps above me. “Let’s go for a drive.”