Chapter Twenty-Five
JENNA
“I’m sorry, but nonalcoholic wine is gross and totally counterintuitive if you ask me.”
After my meltdown earlier, I’m trying to be as upbeat as possible since I don’t want Kendra to harbor any guilt for what she said to me over the phone.
Swirling the clear, gross liquid around in my glass, I set it down on the coffee table in front of me and kick my feet up to rest them next to my drink.
In all honesty, Kendra is probably right about Tommy. Not that he’s as bad as Tyler—not many people are as callous and cruel as he is. However, she was right when she said that Tommy wasn’t boyfriend material. Although it’s not like I ever thought he would be.
“Can I ask you something?” Kendra holds a hand out in front of her as she sits beside me on the couch.
Dressed in one of Jack’s Blades sweaters and blue jeans, you’d never know she was pregnant, aside from her rosy cheeks and thicker hair.
“And please don’t answer if you’re not comfortable talking about it again. ”
I roll my lips together and nod once.
“What did you want to get out of sleeping with Tommy?”
It’s a great question and one I know I’ll struggle to answer.
Picking up my fake wine, I take a small sip and slide the glass back onto the table.
“I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it was a fuck to scratch an itch. He wanted me and wouldn’t let it drop because he knew I wanted him too.”
My friend tips her head to the side as she studies me. “How many times did you sleep together?”
“Twice.”
She seems surprised by that.
“What?” I ask.
She just shrugs. “With the way you were talking about him on the phone, I figured you’d met up way more than that.”
I side-eye her. “We did a lot of talking, and that night when we won the shield…” I trail off, wanting to explain what happened and how Tommy stepped in, but I’m struggling to find the right words to essentially tell my friend that I was about to be assaulted—or that it was very likely.
“That night we won the shield …” Kendra picks up my sentence, encouragement in her voice.
I’m ready to tell her everything when there’s a knock at my front door, and Kendra springs from the couch, already heading to answer it.
“Ah, thank Christ. That’ll be the pizza!”
Still thinking over her question about Tommy, I pick up my wine again and knock the rest of it back.
“Umm … what are you doing here?” Kendra’s faint voice snags my attention.
If it was the pizza delivery guy standing at my door, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be questioning why.
“I need to speak with Jenna.” A deep voice I’ll never mistake has my heart rate kicking up, and I drag my feet off the table and stand, heading straight for my hallway.
Tommy’s tall figure looms over Kendra as he stares down at her with annoyed eyes, but as soon as I come into view, he pins all of his attention on me.
I feel like a shy schoolgirl as I lean against my white wall. Dressed in black sweatpants and a white cropped T-shirt with an old stain down the front, I feel anything but glamourous.
“Hey,” is all Tommy says, his eyes tracking to the messy bun atop my head.
At least this time, I guess I don’t have mascara smeared under my eye.
“Hey,” I reply.
Jesus, this is awkward.
When Kendra spins on her heel to face me, I can tell she has already made up her mind to leave. She’s barely been here twenty minutes.
“I was just leaving, wasn’t I, babe?” she confirms, floating past me and into my open plan living area. “And I’ll cancel the pizza, if you like?”
My eyes flick to Tommy’s and he smirks knowingly at me.
Caught red-handed.
“Sure, thanks,” I absentmindedly reply to Kendra.
Tommy and I remain fixed on each other. The only move he makes is to reach above his head and take a firm grip of the doorjamb.
He looks tense and stressed out and completely at war in his head.
I feel the same.
“What are you doing here?” I ask quietly.
Tommy only smiles, the kind of grin I haven’t seen before. It’s not cocky or clever. It’s more inviting than that. More genuine and warm. “That’s exactly what Kendra just asked me. Do you finish each other’s sentences too?”
I deadpan as I push off the wall, “I’m not in the mood to play games, Tommy.”
Tommy’s trademark smirk reemerges just as Kendra does too.
She kisses me once on the cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
I don’t know why I feel emotional when she smiles at me sweetly, but I do.
“Yeah, sure,” I reply, just as she spins and walks past Tommy on a wave.
As she disappears downstairs, Tommy enters my apartment, closing the door behind him with a click.
“I want to talk to you, Jenna. No games.”
I nod my head once when he comes to stand directly in front of me and then loop my arms around my middle.
“What more is there to say, Tommy? The hour window you gave me expired, and I didn’t text you back.”
He frowns. “Are you being serious?”
I don’t know what I’m being.
“You gave me a way out, and I took it.” I no doubt sound about as convincing as I look.
Tommy reaches forward, wrapping his hands around my arms to unloop them. He keeps ahold of one of my forearms as I drop them to my sides.
I look down at the connection. “I don’t understand why you’re here.”
He says nothing more and simply guides me into my living space, and we take a seat on my couch.
Tommy cocks a brow at my empty wineglass.
I shrug a quick shoulder and anxiously mess with my hair. Something about this interaction feels different. He feels different.
“It was nonalcoholic and actually really gross,” I explain, trying to keep the conversation light.
He chuckles at that, shifting a little closer so our thighs are touching. I’m guessing he came straight here from the airport since he’s dressed in Blades training gear, although I don’t see his bags anywhere. Maybe he drove to my place and left them in his car.
“I’m going to level with you, Jenna.” Tommy turns to face me fully, resting his arm along the back of the couch behind me.
He could easily pull me into his body, and I’d happily let him. There’s an intensity in his dark eyes tonight, and I conclude that’s what feels different about him, along with the softness in his voice.
“Go ahead,” I tentatively reply.
Tommy takes his eyes off mine and focuses his attention on the arm currently resting along the couch cushion. He looks deep in thought, and I give him some time to find the right words.
He twists his lips to the side, a small frown creasing his brow. “When you didn’t text me back earlier, I was really disappointed because I’d figured you would.”
I pull back slightly, irked at his assumption. “Why is everything you do all a game?”
Tommy looks at me then. “What do you mean?”
More annoyance bubbles inside me. “The ultimatum you gave me—it was a test to see if I’d bite and message you back, wasn’t it?”
Jesus, Kendra was absolutely right. He just wants to fuck with my head.
Frustrated and irritated with myself, I shift an inch away from him, but Tommy wraps his hand around my forearm again, and I feel the buzz of adrenaline pulse through my body.
“I think you should leave,” I say, shrugging off his hand and standing from the couch.
Tommy rises to his full height, towering over me. His cologne is the perfect blend of spice and clean.
My mouth waters with attraction, and I swallow thickly.
He doesn’t make to leave as I asked. All he does is stare down into my eyes.
“I want you to leave,” I reaffirm, lifting an arm and pointing in the direction of my front door. “Once bitten, twice shy. I won’t be a participant in your mind games anymore.”
With a clenched jaw, Tommy makes no sign of moving. “We really are the same in so many ways, Hellion.”
I shake my head at him, still pointing toward the door.
“No, we aren’t. Kendra knows we’ve slept together.
She warned me you were just doing it to mess with my head after I turned you down, but I defended you tonight.
I told her I could see the good in you, the conflict when you tried to act like the asshole you always are. ”
I redirect my outstretched arm and press a finger into the center of his sternum.
“You say that you’re disappointed I didn’t text you back?
Well, I’m disappointed I was even tempted to reply in the first place.
” I press my finger even harder into his chest. I know it isn’t hurting him, although inflicting physical pain was never my intention.
I want him to feel the weight of my words and hear me when I end whatever fucked-up shit we have going on between us.
Right here, right now.
“I’m done with you, Tommy. Finished.”
My words slice through the air like a sharp knife through melting butter. And then …
Silence.
Tommy doesn’t move or speak.
All I can hear is the traffic below us.
All I can feel is the soft beat of his heart.
All I can smell is the addictive cologne he wears that I’m certain I’ll never smell again.
All I can see is goddamn wetness as it coats and blurs my vision.
I drop my gaze and focus on the finger that’s still pressed into his body.
“Jenna …”
“Don’t say my name,” I scold. “I prefer it when you call me Hellion.”
“Jenna,” he repeats, reaching up to pull my finger away from his chest. He interlaces our fingers, dropping our joined hands down between us.
More tears emerge, and I use my free hand to swipe at them.
“I’m not playing games, Jenna.” Tommy’s rough thumb wipes under my eye, pausing over my beauty spot.
I’m powerless to stop myself from looking at him. While he isn’t crying, I see so much emotion in his gaze. So much concern.
“Stop calling me Jenna.” I try one more time to regain some control.
Dropping his head down, he rests his forehead against mine, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
“I swear to God, Tommy, if you’re fucking with me and you’re about to burst out laughing and leave, I’ll … I’ll …”
“You’ll what?” He releases a slow, easy breath, which fans my face. “Call the police? Have me locked up for emotional manipulation? Or will you demand I buy you a whole new wardrobe this time?”
I’m tempted to laugh at the memory of me haphazardly adding Lululemon leggings into his shopping cart. Instead, I draw my bottom lip between my teeth and bite down hard.
“Because I will if that’s what it takes. I’ll empty my accounts and serve a lifetime behind bars.”
Butterflies shimmer down my spine. “If that’s what it takes to what?” My voice is weak when he hooks his pointer finger under my chin, tipping my mouth up to his.
How I’m still standing is a mystery that will likely never be solved. Bones aren’t supposed to melt like this and still function.
Our mouths have never been this close as we swallow down each other’s exhales.
Tommy wets his lips, and I watch the column of his throat work.
“If that’s what it takes to spend one more night with you. Give me tonight, and I’ll prove why you were right to let me stay. I’ll prove that your instincts were right when you stopped me from walking away that night I punched Ethan.”
He edges even closer to my mouth until we’re practically kissing.
“I’ll prove why you were right to defend me to Kendra and why, despite the way I want to hold you at arm’s length and recount the times you turned me down, I’ll never be able to stop coming back to you. We aren’t enemies, Hellion. We’re fucking magnets.”
We eyeball each other. A final standoff of wills.
“I’m waiting for you to tell me cobra again,” I whisper.
He just shakes his head on a smile that I feel against my own mouth. “Not a motherfucking chance.”
And then … he’s kissing me.
It’s everything I expected and knew he was capable of as our tongues collide with reckless abandon. I can’t be sure whose whimpers fill the room as we explore each other’s mouths for the first time.
I don’t know when he last kissed a woman. It could be weeks, months, or even years. Still, I’d never be able to tell since he’s so perfect at it, so brutal yet so precise with the way he massages his tongue against mine.
I’m so caught up in him, in his kiss, that I don’t notice when he releases my hair until it’s hanging around my shoulders.
Tommy unlaces his fingers from mine, cupping the sides of my face between his warm palms.
He breaks from the kiss, and I’m already desperate for more. I want him everywhere.
“Can I stay tonight, Jenna? Give me a chance to prove that your instincts were right about me.”
He asks the question like I still might be having doubts. I don’t care if he’s the greatest con artist to ever walk the earth. No one can fake a kiss like that.
Blood pumps through my body, fire singeing every nerve ending.
“And what happens after tonight?” I ask between ragged breaths.
Tommy brushes his thumbs underneath my eyes, setting a kiss against my forehead. “That’s entirely your call. No one hour windows and no pressure. You give me tonight, and in return, I’ll give you space to decide if you want me to remain in your life.”