Chapter 35 #2
“That’s all right. From what we’ve heard, and what you told me before, the Brights have been super shitty to Noah. I get that it pisses you off.” He gave me an understanding half smile. “I never told you what happened when Clara’s mum and grandmother visited her, did I?”
“No.”
“Come on, I told Ariah I needed a break.”
He led the way to his flat, motioned for me to settle on his couch and poured each of us a dram of the Mountain Red.
“They were here a few weeks ago. It was the weekend you went to Kirkmuir with Noah, I think. And they were fucking horrible to her, the mum not as much as that old hag.” A low growl, not unlike the one I’d made earlier, rumbled in his broad chest. “They kept nagging and tearing her down, and I swore I was going to keep my cool, for her sake, y’know? ”
“Yeah,” I huffed. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“I was doing really well until her nan started making snide comments about her body, and how much weight she’d put on since the wedding.” SweetPea took a deep, steadying breath.
“She tried not to let it get to her, but I could tell the old bitch was starting to get under her skin. So I gave her a piece of my mind. Not gonna lie, I thought I’d fucked it up. The way she looked at me.” He chuckled and took a sip of his whisky.
“That clearly wasn’t the case,” I supplied, toasting him with my glass. It explained why he had just growled at me in the kitchen.
They are together. Gods, finally!
“I won’t go into much detail, but no, luckily for me she loved it.”
“So you mean to say, Noah’s going to be happy that I screamed at his brother?” The momentary happiness I’d felt at hearing SweetPea’s news fizzled out, and more dread set in when I remembered Ollie’s face.
“I don’t know, mate. But standing up for someone and making them feel less alone will always be worth it in my book.” He nudged my arm with his.
“Come on, let’s go. Noah’s waiting.”
We emptied our glasses. “And Ollie will come around, just give him a few days.”
Days? I didn’t have those. Noah would be gone then, and I’d sit here alone, but hey, at least Ollie wouldn’t be mad at me anymore.
“Lewis!” Maddie hurried over when we stepped foot into the yard, freshly dyed magenta hair ruffled by the biting winter wind. Her poodle huffed happily at the sight of us. “Hey, SweetPea.”
“See you later,” the Brownie patted the dog’s head, waved at us, and left in the direction of the restaurant.
“Are you okay? I’ve been looking for you. I heard you talking to Ollie.”
“You mean you heard me shouting at him?”
“Yeah,” she grimaced. “You okay?”
“No idea, to be honest. I’m still angry and—”
“Noah is leaving next week, isn’t he?” Her voice was gentle.
“He is. And I wanted to take him to the sea, because he doesn’t believe me that Scottish beaches are at least as pretty as the ones in Bali, but we didn’t have time.”
Why am I telling her this?
“Give me a minute, okay?” She pulled out her phone, unlocked it, and opened her browser app. A few moments later, she pushed the screen in my face.
“That’s a cottage up in Nairn. Fitz and I went there before the wedding. It’s free this weekend.”
She left it to me to finish her thought.
“You think I should take him there?”
“Might be good to have some time to talk before he’s supposed to leave.”
I remembered confiding in her how I felt about him on the eve of her and Fitz’s wedding.
“Yeah, it might be good,” I muttered.
She surveyed me for a moment, then pressed a few buttons. “I just booked the place for two nights. As your boss’s wife, I give you the rest of the day off, and take it as a thank you for everything. Go, get your man, Lewis.”
I stared at her, dumbfounded, for a long moment, fighting back my tears.
“I’ll text you the details, go on. It’s beautiful there, you’re going to love it. It even has a hot tub.”
“Thank you, Maddie.”
“Not for this.” She hugged me around the waist, then urged me to get a move on again.
Lewis: Pack a bag for three days
Lewis: I’ll pick you up in about forty-five minutes
Noah: What? Where are we going?
Lewis: That’s a surprise
Lewis: Bring warm clothes and swimming trunks
Lewis: And don’t forget the lube, Puppy
I smirked at the lip-biting emoji he sent in reply.
I’ll make sure to make the weekend count.
I dashed back upstairs and threw some clothes into a bag. Thank fuck Declan had sent swimming shorts from their summer drop. I dug them out of a drawer and tossed them in the back, too.
“Perla, could you take care of Mr Pickles for the weekend? I’m taking Noah to Nairn,” I blurted out the minute I set foot into the brewery.
“Yes, sure. Just leave the keys under the flower pot again.”
“You know, maybe you could bring him here. Noah will be gone soon.” My voice cracked. “And I don’t want him to be alone then.”
She reached out and squeezed my forearm.
“Yeah, I’ll do that. Do you want me to keep him in your apartment, so he can get settled in? You’re going to keep him when he’s gone, aren’t you?” Perla asked in a gentle voice.
This time my voice failed me. I nodded.
“Okay. See you on Monday?”
“Yeah.” I reached out and hugged her. “Thank you.”
“Not for that,” she huffed, but brushed a tear off her cheek when I backed away.
Almost exactly three-quarters of an hour after my text, I pulled up outside Noah’s shack. I’d barely stopped the car when the door burst open.
My puppy dashed out, hair flying before he one-handedly wrestled his beanie over his head while balancing his bag and locking up behind him.
God, he’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
“Hey!” He almost tumbled as he wrenched open the door and jumped inside my car. My hands flew out to steady him, pulling him up to my chest.
Cupping his face in my hands and sliding my fingers under his beanie to bury them in his beautiful curls, I took his mouth in a deep, slow kiss.
Noah exhaled softly when I backed away, cheeks flushed and eyes blinking open.
“Hey,” he repeated, sounding dazed.
“Hey.” I swallowed. “Ready?”
“Uh-huh.” He huffed, biting his lip to stifle his grin.
I love you.
“Good. Buckle up, Puppy.” With one small peck on the tip of his nose, I let go of him, waited until he’d strapped himself in, and then steered the car back on the road leading north.
“I’m really excited to go away with you.” His hand dropped to my thigh, squeezing me once.
“Me, too.” For a split second I looked over at him, resting my hand on top of his.
“Where are we going?”
“Well, we have one more thing on our bucket list, don’t we?”
“The seaside? So just let me be beside the seaside! I'll be beside myself with glee,” he sang, jumping up and down a little in his seat.
“The seaside,” I affirmed and couldn’t help but grin at his outburst. I loved his singing voice and enthusiasm.
It’s infectious.
“You’re the best, Lew. That’s such a wonderful idea.” He leaned across the middle console to rest his cheek on my bicep.
We drove in silence until we reached our destination.
It was a beautiful little cottage, nestled between dunes with nothing between us and the sea but sand and coarse dune grass.
“Wow, that’s gorgeous. Can we go for a walk right now?”
“Anything you want, Puppy.” I parked the car and pressed a kiss on his brow.
Once we’d bundled up in two of my hoodies and our matching APEX winter coats, we took hold of each other’s hand and marched off in the direction of the shore.
Again, we were silent.
Silence with Noah was never uncomfortable, but today it felt loaded with unspoken words and things we had to look at before the weekend was over.
The shells buried in the wet sand crunched slightly under our soles, the salty wind tugging at our clothes, drawing us closer together. Noah huddled under my arm, seeking my warmth, and my heart threatened to burst with a weirdly painful mix of love and sadness.
We found a dry spot in the shelter of two high dunes and sat down to look out over the vast water. The beach was deserted, and it felt as if Noah and I were the only two people left on the planet.
It would be enough. As long as I had him, I’d be fine.
“Watching the sun set over the sea makes my heart sing. You know, I forgot how beautiful it is here.”
“I think that’s normal. Sometimes you can’t appreciate the beauty of the things you see most often,” I muttered, picking up a shell and turning it over in my hands. “Not until you no longer have them around.”
“Yeah.” The tone in his voice made me look up. A smile that neither reached nor erased the sadness in his eyes pulled at the corners of his lips.
Then he inched closer, bringing our hips together, slung his arm around my thigh, and rested his chin on my propped up knee. “Thanks for bringing me here, Lew.”
My words got stuck in my throat, choking me.
This is it. The end.
After all we’d been through and everything we had said, the knowledge that Noah would be back in Bali in a couple of days cut through me like a physical wound. His flight left on Valentine’s Day. Gods knew how long he’d be gone this time.
Maybe we were never meant to be. Maybe life had given us these few months so we could say a proper goodbye—so I could get the dumb idea I’d nursed for nearly two decades out of my head: that he was the one, and that our pact had meant something.
That it hadn’t just been empty talk between two kids, but something deeper. Something real.
I settled my arm around his shoulders, and pulled him into my body to keep him warm. “You’re welcome,” I whispered and kissed his temple.
My sweet puppy. We could have been so good.