Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
Fury
I stare in wonderment as Dianna goes back inside followed by Xanthe. I should be angry. The seventeen-year-old boy inside me should be even more angry. But I find myself following them like the desperate, unloved kid I’ve always been because I need her approval. I need her to smile at me with the warmth I remember before she turfed me out.
I close the door and turn to the walls adorned with hundreds of pictures of every kid they’ve ever fostered. They had the same ‘wall of fame’, as Xanthe called it, at the last place. And the same scent—the smell of food mixed with a sweet hint of honeysuckle. Whenever I smell the flower, I’m reminded of this family. It makes me feel safe, like a comfort blanket.
I step into the kitchen, where Xanthe is flicking through a pile of mail and Dianna is stirring what looks like gravy. “I need someone strong to carve the beef,” she tells me, nodding to where the meat is resting on the worktop.
I head over and pick up the carving knife. I feel Xanthe’s wide eyes on me, just like when she watched me earlier.
“So,” says Dianna, smiling, “what do you do for work?”
Xanthe brings her eyes to mine, and I look away, returning Dianna’s smile. “I’m a boxer. I work some shifts at a gym and do occasional bar work.”
“You’re busy then,” she remarks. “You always had to be on the go. What about marriage or kids?”
I shake my head and stick the long-pronged fork into the joint. “Nah, I haven’t met the one yet.”
She looks away before clearing her throat. “I always wondered about you,” she says. “I called the family you went to after a few weeks had passed. The social worker said to wait at least a month to let you settle.” She smiles sadly. “When they said you’d run away, I was . . . well, it broke my heart. I called the police several times, but they didn’t seem bothered, said you were a troubled kid and you’d only keep doing it if they returned you. But they promised to contact me if you showed up.”
Xanthe frowns, staring at her mum in shock. “I didn’t know any of that.”
Dianna looks guilty. “You didn’t know half of it,” she mutters. “So, Reese, where did you end up?”
“From Manchester, I went to Liverpool, met some friends, and then went to Nottingham. I was there for a long time, and then I met a guy who took me in at the motorcycle club. I moved here a few months ago.”
“What a coincidence,” she says, smiling again. “All this time you’ve been here, and we haven’t seen you until now.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Well, you weren’t to know we were here,” she pauses before adding, “I’m not sure you’d have bothered to look us up anyway.”
“It was a long time ago,” I mutter. “I’m over it.”
She eyes me for a few seconds before nodding at the meat. “Carve it thinly. I hate chewing it.”
“Mum, Reese rides a motorbike,” says Xanthe brightly.
Dianna chuckles. “You had an eye for danger too. A thrill seeker, I used to tell your social worker.”
“I like the freedom that comes with it,” I explain.
“I can picture it,” she says wistfully. “You on a bike, enjoying the road and all that freedom. You were like a caged animal when you first arrived. Wouldn’t sit still.” She gives a sad laugh. “You know, every time a child leaves, you take something on board. A piece of knowledge, a thought that relates to that child, and you . . .” She places her hands on the kitchen worktop and fixes me with a firm stare. “Well, when you left, I had nothing. Maybe it was because I was so sad, but you’re the only child I’ve thought about a lot, that I’ve spent time wondering about.” Dianna sets three plates on the worktop and begins to dish dinner up. “Go take a seat at the table,” she instructs.
I follow Xanthe through to the dining room leading off from the kitchen, Dianna’s words ringing in my ears. Knowing she thought about me warms me a little. I’d just assumed she was glad to see the back of me.
“This is awkward,” I whisper, sitting at the table.
“Not as awkward as some of the stuff I’ve witnessed today,” she retorts, sitting beside me.
“I had to do what I had to do,” I reply. “Otherwise, we wouldn’t have walked out of there alive.”
She twists in her seat to look at me. “Okay, so how many times have you done that?”
“You choose the worst times to discuss this sorta thing,” I mutter, shaking my head in annoyance. The truth is, I don’t want to discuss it at all. She’s not happy with it, and once she knows the truth, she’ll want to be far away from me, and I’m not ready for that.
Dianna comes in carrying two plates stacked with roast beef, potatoes, and vegetables. “Tuck in,” she says with a smile as she places one down before each of us. “Gravy is coming,” she adds, going into the kitchen again. She returns seconds later with her own dinner and a gravy jug. I take it and pour some over my dinner. It’s been way too long since I had a homecooked food like this, and I’m desperate to get stuck in.
“How’s work?” Dianna asks Xanthe.
“Same old,” she replies. “Busy. I’m taking a few days off actually.”
“You are?”
Xanthe nods. “I broke up with Donnie, so I thought I’d spend some time catching up with Reese.”
Dianna’s eyes flit between us before she forces a smile. “Well, makes sense. You were practically brother and sister.”
I shudder, dropping my fork back on my plate and pushing it away slightly. Xanthe arches a brow and smirks. “Really, Mum?”
“Don’t do this now, Xanth,” I warn.
She ignores me, glaring at her mum, who stares back with a look of guilt on her face. “I know what happened,” Xanthe continues. “I know you sent him away.”
Dianna shakes her head. “It wasn’t just down to me.”
“Okay, so when Dad read the riot act, you did everything you could to stop him, right?”
“It was a hard decision,” snaps Dianna. “We didn’t know what to do, and we agonised over it for hours. But in the end, we had to put you first.”
“Putting me first would’ve meant keeping Reese with us.”
“We didn’t know the rules on it all,” says Dianna desperately. “We didn’t know if it would all come out and affect our fostering chances.”
“Oh god, so you sent him away because you didn’t want to mess up your clean record?”
“That’s not true,” Dianna yells angrily. “I loved that boy like my own.”
I hang my head and take a few deep breaths. I’ve never felt parental love like I did when I lived with Dianna, and her words are a painful reminder of everything I lost.
“I loved him,” Xanthe screams, and my head shoots up in surprise. “And you sent him away and broke my heart.” She bursts into tears, and I grab her hand, gently squeezing it.
Dianna fights to hold her tears in. “I hated myself,” she whispers. “And if I could change it, I would.”
“It’s in the past,” I state. “I didn’t mean to come back and cause problems.” I push to stand, releasing Xanthe’s hand. “Again.”
“Where are you going?” Xanthe sniffles.
“Finish your dinner. I’m gonna wait outside.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“It was good to see you again, Dianna. Sorry for the trouble.”
I head for the door. “Wait,” Dianna demands, and I pause, turning back. “Let me explain, please.”
I sigh heavily. It’s been a rough day and I’m exhausted, but the plea in her eyes has me nodding in agreement. She points to my seat, so I lower back into it. “I tried to keep you,” she admits. “I knew Xanth would be heartbroken, and I argued with Mack over the decision. I hate to put the blame on him when he can’t defend himself, but he was adamant it wouldn’t work. I wanted to wait and see, but he was worried you’d both fall out and things would get ugly.” She sighs heavily. “I told him that young love was messy, and if you didn’t break her heart, someone else would. But she was his baby girl, and he wanted to protect her. He felt you’d disrespected us by sneaking around.”
“It wasn’t his fault,” says Xanthe.
“It’s fine,” I cut in.
“No, it’s not,” she snaps. “Mum, I wouldn’t take no for an answer. I liked him and I wanted to be with him. He said no because he liked living with us. He didn’t want to risk it.”
Dianna smiles. “I knew it would be down to you and your demanding ways.”
“If I’d have known what would happen, I would’ve waited.”
“And if I’d have known how much you liked one another, I’d have fought harder.” She brings her eyes to me. “I’m so sorry if you felt abandoned.” Her voice breaks, and a sob escapes her. She slaps her hand over her mouth. “It haunted me for years after. When I knew you’d run off, it broke my heart, and Mack’s. He was racked with guilt.”
I reach a hand over the table and take hers. Knowing the truth feels good, like a weight is lifted. “I’m sorry too. I should’ve come to you and talked about it.”
“The past is the past,” she states, using her free hand to wipe her tears away. “What’s important is the future, and I hope you’ll stick around so we can get to know you again.”
I give a nod, and she smiles wide. “And maybe . . . with you both being single . . .”
“Mum,” Xanthe screeches, “stop.”
“I’m just saying that maybe some things are meant to be.”
Xanthe
We finish dinner while Fury tells Mum all about boxing. I sit back and listen to how animated and passionate he is, wondering why we haven’t talked about any of that. Apart from all the drama, I know nothing about his life now. I make a mental note to spend the next couple days putting that right.
We spend an hour with Mum before it’s time to head off. Fury drives us to the clubhouse, and once we park up, I turn to him. “I’m terrified,” I admit.
“Relax, they’re all pussycats.”
“Not just of the club,” I mutter. “What if he finds out I’m here, that you’ve hidden me?”
“I can handle Donnie Nelson,” he says with a grin. “But I want to do this right so you get to walk away with no blowback.”
“And then what?”
He shrugs. “Then you walk away.”
“From everything, including you?”
A man approaches the car, breaking our stare-off. Fury climbs out and shakes hands with him. “Fletch, this is Xanthe.”
The man stoops down slightly to peer into the car before grinning. “I knew you’d be hot.”
Fury clips him around the ear. “Show some fucking respect or I’ll tell Gemma.”
He rubs the spot, grinning as he stands fully again. “Pres got a room made up for you both.”
I get out the car. “Separate, I hope,” I say, arching a brow.
“Huh, I like her,” says Fletch, heading for the building.
Inside, I’m introduced to other men before a woman heads my way holding out a hand, and we shake. “I’m Lexi.”
“Xanthe,” I reply.
“Once you’re settled, come find me and I’ll show you around.”
Fury grabs my hand. “It can wait until tomorrow, Lex. We’ve had the longest day.”
He leads me upstairs and along a hall. We reach a room, and he pushes the door open, indicating for me to go inside. “Your room,” he says, following me in. “I’ll be through there,” he adds, pointing to a conjoining door which he also opens to show his bedroom. “I’ll keep it closed to give you privacy.”
I can’t help feeling disappointed that we’re not sharing, even though I’m the one making it clear I want him at a distance. I give a stiff nod and place my bag on the floor. “Thanks.”
“I’ll let you get settled.” He heads for his door.
“Actually,” I say, and he pauses, “we should talk.”
“It’s been a long day,” he mutters, keeping his back to me. “When we finally talk, it’ll be with clear heads.”
“But I have questions and?—”
He turns back to me, closing the gap between us in a flash and pressing his lips to mine. I freeze up, shocked as he gently slides his hand to cup my cheek. He pulls back slightly to look me in the eyes. “You’re far too stubborn for your own good. Goodnight, Xanthe.” And he leaves, closing the door that separates us.
I stare after him. What was that? A goodnight kiss? A friendship kiss? I narrow my eyes in annoyance before following him. I push the door with more force than I mean too, taking him by surprise. He’s topless, folding his shirt. We stare at one another, and something passes between us, a charge of some kind that pulls me to him. I throw myself at him, and he catches me, lifting me. My arms tangle around his neck as I slam my mouth to his, swiping my tongue into his mouth and kissing him with everything I have.
I feel his mobile vibrate in his pocket right before it shrills noisily. He breaks the kiss, lowering my feet to the floor and stepping back. His eyes linger on mine for a few seconds before he releases a long breath and pulls out his mobile, accepting the call.
“Yep?” He waits, listening to whoever is on the other end before disconnecting. He grabs his shirt, pulling it on hastily. “I have to go.”
I frown, following him around the room while he collects his keys and wallet. “Where?” He stuffs his feet back into his boots.
“That was Chevy. Donnie wants to see me.”
My eyes widen with panic, and I make a grab for his arm. He stills, his eyes landing on where my hand grips his wrist tightly. I release it and take a breath. “About what?”
“He didn’t say.”
“More clean-up jobs?”
“I’ll see you later.” He heads for the door, and I feel my heart tighten. I don’t want him to go, and I don’t trust Donnie.
“You’re better than that, yah know,” I say, and he pauses. “Being Donnie’s bitch.” It’s a low blow, but if I have to cause an argument to keep him here, I will.
He sniggers, shaking his head with disappointment before pulling the door open and leaving.
Minutes pass and I’m still rooted to the spot, wondering what Donnie wants with Fury, when the door swings open and Lexi comes in with another woman. “Fury sent us up to keep you company,” she announces.
I smile sadly. “I’m not much company, to be honest.”
“When you feel shit, it’s the best time for company,” says the other woman heading into my room through the conjoining door.
“That’s Luna,” Lexi explains, following her.
I go into the room and close the middle door. The women are sitting on my bed, watching me expectedly. “You have that lost look,” says Luna. “Are you and Fury . . .” She trails off.
“No,” I rush to say, shaking my head a little too vigorously. The women exchange a smirk.
“But you want to be?” Luna guesses.
I feel myself blushing. “No. We’re friends. At least, we were.” I add a small, unamused laugh. “I don’t even know him anymore.”
“We don’t know him that well,” says Lexi. “He only came here a few months ago.”
“Yeah, he’s a closed book, hard to open,” adds Luna, nodding.
“Maybe I shouldn’t speak about him,” I say hesitantly. I don’t think he’d like me talking about his past, otherwise, he’d have told them already.
Lexi shrugs. “So, how did you meet him?”
“We met as teenagers,” I say, trying not to give too much away. “And then we lost touch, and he turned up a few weeks back in the hospital.”
“You work there?” asks Luna.
I nod. “I’m a nurse.”
“Handy,” says Lexi. “You should be wary hanging out in these places. They tend to take advantage.”
I smirk. “Kind of too late for that.”
She sits straighter. “Is Axel using you?”
I shake my head. “No, not him.” She visibly relaxes. “A guy I met. Donnie.”
“And Fury is trying to help you?” Luna guesses.
“Yeah, but this guy . . . he’s bad news. I’m worried how deep Fury is already, and now he’s helping me . . .” I trail off, and Lexi gently places her hand over mine.
“These bikers are tougher than you think,” she says. “Fury can handle it, and anything he can’t, the club will.”
I groan. “Exactly my point. All these people are getting dragged into my mess.” I bury my face in my hands. “How did I end up like this?”
“Let me guess. Sweet, charming guy turns out to be a complete headcase?” asks Luna. I nod, and she grins. “It’s standard bum magnet behaviour.”
Lexi laughs. “That’s not a thing.”
“It really is,” says Luna with confidence. “Some of us just attract the wrong sort, like wolves in sheep’s clothing.”
“I always did love a bad boy,” I huff.
“So, what’s this Donnie guy done that’s so crazy?” asks Lexi.
I chew on my lower lip. Fury never said I couldn’t tell anyone, but doing so might get him into trouble. After all, I have no idea who these women really are, or if the club shares this sort of stuff with their other halves. But right now, I need to talk about it, and Fury isn’t willing to.
“I met him a few weeks ago. He was really nice, and I liked him instantly. But then Fury warned me off him, said he was a bad guy. I didn’t really take much notice, but when I tried to take a step back, Donnie seemed really clingy. And now, because I want to break things off, he’s forcing me to do stuff for him.”
“Like?” Luna presses, concern on her face.
“He arranges fights,” I say.
“Underground fights?” asks Lexi. “Illegal ones?”
I nod. “And he wants me to fix the fighters up after.”
“You could lose your nursing licence,” Lexi says.
“Exactly. There’s something else.” They both wait for me to continue. “He brought a fighter to my house. He was really hurt. Donnie killed him in my spare room.” I slap my hand over my mouth as a sob escapes me. I thought I’d done all my crying, but being here in the safety of this club makes me want to offload. Lexi immediately pulls me into her arms.
“Shit. Does Fury know?”
“Yes,” I say, taking a deep, shaky breath. “Fury cleans up the bodies.” I sit back, and the women exchange a look that isn’t shocked. “You know?”
Lexi shrugs. “Not really. Not details. But we’re not stupid. We know the club isn’t legit.”
“And you’re okay with it?” I ask, my throat tightening with more tears.
“We trust our men,” declares Luna.
I scoff. “You sound like Stepford wives.”
“I was a police officer,” says Lexi, and I gasp. “I tried to take down the club.”
“Newsflash, you failed,” I state, and she laughs.
“I realised Axel wasn’t a bad man,” she says. “None of them are.” I know she’s right. Fury isn’t bad either, but he’s involved in things I want to walk away from. “It’s the life they lead,” she adds, “and it takes an understanding woman to love a man who wants to make a difference using unethical means.”
“It’s not the life for me,” I say firmly. “I can’t sleep next to a man who hours earlier had chopped up a dead body and helped dispose of it like it meant nothing.”
“What if that body belonged to a bad person?” asks Luna. “Like Donnie?”
“He’s got a screw loose, for sure,” I say, “but murder is a little extreme.” I shake my head in disbelief. I thought speaking to these women would ease my worries, but they’re essentially telling me to accept it. I give an unamused laugh. “What am I saying?” I ask. “It’s not like Fury even wants me. I just wanted a better life for him, yah know?”
“That’s your first mistake,” says Lexi, pushing to her feet. “Thinking this life isn’t perfect for him. Ask him if he’s happy, Xanthe. Just because it’s not the life we know doesn’t make it wrong.” She heads for the door. “Get some rest.”