Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
Fury
I t’s been a long-arse night, and right now, all I want is to fall into bed and sleep. But when I open my door, I find Xanthe sleeping in my bed. She’s curled up in a ball on her side, her back to me, her breathing steady. I sigh heavily. I’d spent years wanting this exact thing. Having her in my bed was a fantasy I never thought would happen again, yet here she is, and it would be easy to slip in beside her and wrap her in my arms. But making her mine would just trap her. I saw it written all over her face earlier—she’s disappointed in me, in what I’ve become. But this club is the only family I’ve known, and there’s no way I can turn my back.
I go into my bathroom, pushing the door to before flicking the light on. I stare at my reflection in the mirror above the sink, taking in my white T-shirt which is now stained red. It doesn’t faze me. I like it. But it’s another reminder of how different Xanthe and I are.
I shrug from my kutte and place it on the hook behind the door. Next, I pull off my T-shirt and dump it on the floor. Slipping from my jeans, I turn the shower on and wait for the steam to billow out before stepping under the spray. I close my eyes as the water washes away my latest sins.
It’s her hands that startle me as they wrap around my waist. They’re cold against the heat of my body. “I was worried about you,” she whispers against my back.
I wait a second to reply, enjoying the way she feels against me. “You don’t need to worry about me,” I tell her, scared to turn around, knowing my body will betray me. “I can look after myself.”
She releases me, but I keep my back to her. She takes the soap from the dish, then slips around me so she’s in front, her innocent eyes staring up at me unblinking as the water soaks her silk short pyjamas. Her nipples pebble tightly, begging me to taste them.
She rubs her hands over the soap, dropping it back in the dish, then she tentatively places each hand against my solid chest. I inhale sharply, watching as she slowly rubs them over my wet skin in small circular motions. “You were gone a long time.” She looks down between us, watching the blood wash away. My erection stands proudly, and she glances back up, biting on her lower lip suggestively. “We should do something about that,” she whispers. Her hand wraps around my thick length before I can reply, and I close my eyes and let my head fall back as she rubs me slowly.
“Xanth,” I whisper, unsure if it sounds anything like I mean it to. She continues, gripping me tighter and moving faster. “We can’t,” I manage to squeeze out. “Stop.” She immediately releases me, and my body sags in relief, “I’m sorry,” I mutter. “We can’t complicate things.”
She gives a stiff nod, her brows furrowing. Then she steps from the shower without a word, grabbing a towel and heading back into the bedroom. “Xanth,” I call after her, “let’s talk.”
“Now, you want to talk,” she calls back, adding a cold laugh. “Sure.”
“It doesn’t have to make things weird,” I say, turning off the shower and getting out. There’s no towel since she took it, so I go into the bedroom naked. She isn’t there, and I groan, marching to the conjoining door and opening it. She’s naked, drying her skin vigorously. My eyes linger on her backside, and my cock strains harder. “You haven’t changed,” I say. “You still refuse to stick around to hear me out.”
She scoffs, wrapping the towel around herself. “You’re dripping on my floor.”
“I want to,” I say, and she arches a brow. “Have sex,” I add. “Fuck, I’ve dreamt about that moment so many times.”
“Bullshit,” she snaps. “You had me right there and you turned me down.”
“Because things are messy right now, don’t you think?”
She removes the towel, throwing it at me. I catch it, groaning as she bends to pick up a shirt. My cock begs me to take her, but I can’t mess this up. “Donnie is screwing trying to find you,” I snap. “In his eyes, you’re still a thing.”
“I told him it was over,” she snaps, pulling the shirt on but leaving the buttons open.
“Fasten it,” I growl, but she ignores me, dropping down onto the bed and not bothering to cover up. I keep my eyes fixed to her face. “And I . . .” I groan. “I have unfinished business back in Nottingham.”
She stares at me with confusion. “You said you were single.”
“I am, sort of.”
“Sort of?”
“It’s complicated.”
She scowls, standing and fastening the shirt. She then grabs her leggings and begins to pull them on, leaving out any sort of underwear. When she pushes her foot into her trainer, I realise she’s planning to leave. “What are you doing?” I demand.
“Going home.”
“You’re not safe there.”
“I’ll work it out.”
“Work what out? Xanthe, when he realises you’re back, he’s going to take you to his place and keep you there. He was so angry earlier when he realised you weren’t home.”
“I’ll call the police.”
“They can’t help.”
She growls, stamping her foot in frustration. “There are laws,” she cries, “and they’re there to protect women from men like him.”
I take her wrists gently. “I know,” I say, trying to gain eye contact. “I get it, you’re mad, but if you leave here, it’ll end badly, and I won’t be able to help you without killing all of them.” She stills, letting my words sink in. “It’s not that I don’t want you, Xanth. Fuck, I want you so badly, it’s painful. But the timing is wrong. You’ve dealt with a lot of shit these last few days, and your head is all over the place. If I took advantage of that now, it would make me selfish, and I’m trying not to be that with you.”
She chews on her lower lip again, and I feel her relax slightly. Her eyes find mine, and she gives a brief nod. “Okay.”
“You’ll stay?” I ask, and she nods. I smile, pulling her into my arms. “Thank you.”
“On one condition.” I stiffen again, waiting for her demand. “Tell me the truth about Nottingham. Who are you running from?”
When I release her, she steps back with a steely glare in her eyes. She won’t let this go. “Who says I’m running?” I ask, shrugging. I secure the towel around my waist.
“I know you too well. Who is she?”
I sigh heavily and sit on her bed. “Joanne,” I mutter.
She scoffs. “I knew there would be someone,” she says accusingly. “Why weren’t you honest?”
“I didn’t lie,” I argue.
“Only you forgot to tell me about Joanne?”
“It’s not what it seems. She left me, so we’re not together.” She eyes me suspiciously, and I shrug again. “What can I say? She chose better. They always do.”
Xanthe lowers beside me. “That’s not true, Reese. You’re a good man.”
I smirk. “Really? That’s not what your body language said when you found out what I was doing for Donnie.”
She shifts uncomfortably. “It was a shock. I’m a nurse. I save lives, not take them.”
I feel a pang of guilt. She’s new to all this, and I hate that she’s been so exposed. “Jo was never truly mine to begin with. She’s with my old president.”
She winces. “Aren’t there rules on that sort of thing?”
I laugh, but it’s cold. “Let’s just say I’m lucky to be alive. But it doesn’t change the fact that she loves him and not me so . . . here I am, licking my wounds.”
“I’m sorry,” she mutters, placing her hand over mine. “Love hurts.”
“It ain’t the first time, and it won’t be the last,” I say, forcing a brightness to my voice. She doesn’t miss the dig, and I divert my eyes to the ground. “I’m over it. She’s happier without me there.”
“You loved her?” she asks, but it’s more like a statement.
“I’ve only ever loved once, Xanth. Maybe that was half the problem. I knew she wouldn’t leave him, and I didn’t want her to. No one after you could ever compare.”
“You’re not being fair,” she whispers. “I didn’t send you away.”
More guilt engulfs me. It’s not like she knew what her parents did. She couldn’t have stopped it even if she had. But I’ve spent so long blaming them all, letting the bitterness seep into my exposed wounds, that it’s hard to change my mindset. Maybe it was to protect me. Perhaps it still is. “We should get some rest.”
I stand, pulling the sheets back and waiting for her to climb in. “I don’t want to be alone,” she says, slipping beneath the covers.
“I’m right next door.”
Sadness fills her eyes. “You hate me so much that you can’t even stay?” She grabs my hand. “Please.”
I give a slight nod, and she smiles. “Let me put some shorts on,” I add, going back into my room. I pull on the shorts and a T-shirt before going back and climbing into bed beside her. She lifts my arm and lies against my chest, tugging my arm around her shoulders. My heart swells, and I resist the urge to bury my nose into her hair and inhale her scent. Instead, I lie back and stare up at the ceiling.
If Donnie could see me now, he’d torture me for sure. He was so angry when he realised she wasn’t home, and even when we suggested maybe she’d met a friend or was just simply busy, he refused to relax, insisting his men start searching for her. He’s in way deeper than I realised, and he’s not going to settle until he has her back in his clutches.
Xanthe
We lie awake in silence. Something is playing on Fury’s mind, but he clearly doesn’t want to talk. And he certainly doesn’t want to fuck again. He made that perfectly clear.
I roll over, turning my back to him and closing my eyes. It’s only seconds before I feel him slip from the bed and sneak back to his own room. I press my face into the pillow, allowing myself to feel mortified. He must think I’m a nutter, forcing him to lay with me. I groan, praying the next few days aren’t awkward between us. The sooner I can get back to my life, the better.
The following morning, I wake and shower before dressing. I stare at the conjoining door with anticipation. I don’t know anyone else well enough to feel comfortable just heading downstairs, but my inner bitch needs coffee desperately. I take a deep breath and tug the door open, only to find the room empty.
“Great,” I mutter, slamming it closed again.
I spin to the other door when there’s a light tap and almost cry in relief when Lexi sticks her head in and smiles. “Morning. I was wondering if you were awake or not. Bet you’re starving?”
“I need caffeine,” I admit, and she laughs.
“Follow me.”
Downstairs, she pauses at the kitchen door. I can already hear voices from inside. “Just a warning, it’s like a zoo in there. You have to fight for food and scream to be heard.” She pushes the door open, and I stare wide-eyed at the chaos before me. “I tried to warn you,” she adds, grinning before slipping her arm in mine and leading me farther into the lion’s den.
Some of the men stop what they’re doing to look at me. I feel myself blush under their intense stares. And then I spot Fury glaring at me, holding two plates of food. He closes the gap between us. “I was bringing you food,” he says.
“Don’t be ridiculous. She can’t hide away in that room all day,” says Lexi, taking one plate of food and handing it to me.
I offer a weak smile before she pulls me in the direction of the table. “Move up,” she orders one of the bikers, who slides along the bench to make room for me. I lower, unsure how I feel meeting all these strangers in one go. It’s overwhelming.
Lexi sits beside me, and I’m squashed between her and the biker who is now smirking down at me with a glint in his eye.
“Nyx,” he says confidently, holding a huge hand out for me to take.
I place my plate down before running my sweaty hand down my shirt and taking his. “Xanthe.”
This makes him grin wider, and he looks back at Fury, who I assume is still rooted to the spot behind me. “This is Xanthe?”
Lexi leans over me, slapping our joined hands until he releases me. She narrows her eyes. “Don’t even think about it,” she says, her tone warning, then she smiles at me. “Axel is the President and my old man,” she says, pointing to the hulk of a man to the left of her, heading up the table. He winks, and I almost melt in a flustered puddle. “That’s Grizz, the Vice President,” she adds, pointing to the man beside him who’s holding an adorable little girl. “And little Ivy, his daughter. Remember Luna?” she asks, and I nod. “They’re her family.”
“Never mind the taken men,” says one of the bikers, leaning around Nyx. “What about the rest of us?”
Lexi laughs. “That’s Ink,” she explains, and he holds out a hand for me to shake, which I do.
“If you want me to show you around,” he begins but stops when a shadow falls over us. I glance back to see Fury towering over me.
“Move up,” he orders, and Nyx grumbles before shifting farther along and making room. Fury sits beside me, placing his plate down. “She doesn’t need you to show her around,” he says coldly. “She won’t be here that long.”
It’s like a bucket of ice being thrown over me, and my appetite shrinks away. Lexi offers a small smile before grabbing a coffee pot and topping up a mug for me. “Here, wash away that bitterness with this,” she says, glaring at Fury.
“Eat,” he says to me, staring down at his own plate.
“I’m not hungry,” I mutter, pushing my plate away.
He narrows his eyes before pushing it back in front of me. “Eat, Xanth. I haven’t seen you eat properly yet.”
His pushiness annoys me, and I move the plate once again. “I’ll eat when I’m hungry,” I say firmly.
He finally looks me in the eyes, and for a second, that lost look makes an appearance before he shuts it down. He doesn’t understand why I’m angry. Fuck, I don’t either! I just know I’m pissed with him. Maybe it’s his rejection that stings, or the fact he clearly doesn’t want me to know any of his brothers, like he doesn’t want me to get too settled in his life. I take a sip of coffee, shaking my head in annoyance.
Fury’s mobile rings, and I hear him sigh as he checks the caller ID. He presses it to his ear. “Yeah?” After a few seconds, he adds, “Of course. I’ve got church first, then I’ll come.” He disconnects and looks to Axel, who nods and then gives a loud whistle until the rest of the room falls silent.
“Church,” he orders, and the men leave the room like scurrying ants. Axel leans over to Lexi, placing a lingering kiss on her lips before following. Fury is still beside me, staring at his hands resting on the table. Eventually, he stands, and although I feel like he wants to say something, he chooses not to. He leaves, and I release a long breath as Lexi gives me another small smile.
“Are you okay?” I nod, and she rubs my hand. “He’s intense,” she says, and it’s as if her words press something inside me, opening the floodgates. The last few days suddenly catch up and tears pour down my cheeks uncontrollably.
An older woman rushes over with a box of tissues. Lexi pulls a few out and presses them into my hands. “It’s okay,” she reassures me as I wipe hurriedly at my wet face. The last thing I want is for Fury to come back in and see me like this.
“It’s like a curse,” says one of the women from across the table. “The Chaos Demons curse.”
“What is?” asks Luna, taking a seat closer. The other women follow suit, all shifting up the table, which only makes me feel worse, like some kind of zoo freak.
“They always manage to make a woman cry. Like they’re slowly breaking us down until we’re a mess, and then they swoop in and make it all better.”
Luna grins. “Gemma, there’s no way you’ve ever broken, not even for Fletch.”
“Xanthe, meet Gemma, Duchess, Tessa, Jennie, and Foxy,” Lexi introduces.
My eyes linger on Jennie, and I see recognition in her expression but I don’t mention we’ve met. My attention goes to Foxy. She looks different somehow, more tired yet more dolled up. It’s only eight a.m. and she’s got a face full of makeup and is dressed in the skimpiest outfit. As if she senses my question, she smiles. “I’m a club whore.” I gasp, and she laughs. “It’s what they call us girls who hang around to satisfy their every whim.” I don’t mention that I already know, in case I’m forced to explain how Fury referred to Jennie.
“Only the single men,” Lexi cuts in. “And we don’t refer to them as whores, even though Foxy doesn’t mind. The men refer to the single women as club girls or club bunnies. If you hear them say whore, you have my permission to hit them upside the head.”
Duchess smirks. “Lexi is changing the ways of The Chaos Demons. Equal rights for all, even the whores.” Lexi’s head whips in her direction, and she laughs harder, holding up her hands in defence. “I’m kidding. But I’m old school, and I like the old ways.”
“Well, the old ways aren’t exactly PC, so we’ll stick to the new ways.”
“We’re going off topic,” Luna points out, but I was relieved they weren’t focussed on me, and it’s given me time to get myself together.
I sniffle and force a smile. “I’m fine. I don’t know what came over me.”
“The curse,” says Gemma pointedly.
“He dismissed you whilst claiming you,” says Luna. “It’s confusing.”
I shake my head. “He’s just a friend.”
“You’re not friends,” says Tessa, biting into a cold pancake and wincing before dropping it back on the plate. Her words confirm how Fury is making me feel, and I nod in agreement until she adds, “You’re way past that.”
“He’s just helping me out.” I feel Lexi’s eyes on me as I spout the same crap I did last night. I groan, scrubbing my hands over my face. What have I got to lose by talking to these women who clearly have experience dealing with men who are as cold as they are hot? “Fine, I fancy him like crazy,” I admit, “but he’s not into me like that.”
“Finally,” says Lexi, smirking.
“He’s so into you like that,” adds Luna with confidence.
“Seriously, he isn’t,” I say. “He’s giving me so many mixed signals, it’s driving me insane.”
“Let me guess, he doesn’t want anyone else around you, but he doesn’t want to be around you either?” Gemma guesses, and I nod. “It’s because he’s crazy about you.”
“You’re wrong,” I say, “because I basically offered myself to him on a plate last night, and he couldn’t wait to get away.” My cheeks burn with embarrassment. “He snuck out my bed the second he thought I was asleep.”
“It means nothing,” says Lexi. “Just that he’s battling with his own demons.”
“Have you already done the deed?” asks Jennie, and I shift uncomfortably.
I nod. “One time. We haven’t talked about it since, and he’s acting like it didn’t happen.”
“He scratched the itch,” she says simply, and Luna nudges her. “What? It’s true. He got what intrigued him, and now, he doesn’t want her.”
“Jesus, Jennie,” snaps Luna, “do you have to be so blunt?”
“It’s fine,” I mutter, knowing her reaction is coming from a place of jealousy.
“See, a girl after my own heart,” she says, rising to her feet, but her smile is far from friendly as she heads out the kitchen. “Excuse me, ladies, but I have to be ready when they need me. Church can be stressful.”
“Don’t mind her,” says Lexi. “She’s quite new to the club.”
“She’s right, though,” I say.
“She isn’t,” Duchess cuts in. “And no offence, Foxy,” she adds, “but don’t take the advice of the club girls. If they knew a biker’s mind, they’d be old ladies.”
Foxy laughs. “Good point.”
“He’ll see what’s in front of him,” Luna reassures me.
I scoff. “Well, I won’t be waiting around to see the end result. The second I can, I’m leaving here.” They all exchange a knowing look, and I throw my arms up in exasperation. “I am,” I reassure them. Because I am. If Reese Northman wants to deny his feelings, he can do it when I’m not here to witness it.