CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE #3
Crawford scowled again. “You two better work that shit out. I swear to God, if whatever bullshit you have going on fucks up our playoff chances, I will throw you in the Boston Harbor.”
“I’m not tea!” Tanner said because that was literally the one thing he remembered from history class.
“You’re gonna wish you were. So figure it out. And we’re good, right?”
Tanner nodded.
“Good. Now, I’m going back to my party.”
“Hey. I know you hate nicknames but now that we’ve hugged it out, can I call you Crawdaddy?” Tanner asked as he disappeared through the back door.
“No.” The back door slammed behind him and Tanner stared after him for a moment with a grin before his phone buzzed again.
FUCK!
He fumbled for his phone and winced at the number of missed messages from Leif. He groaned when he realized his earlier text hadn’t even sent. He must’ve shut his screen off before he hit Send.
Nooooo.
Leif was either super worried about him or super pissed. Maybe both.
Tanner mashed the green phone button with his finger and paced around the patio, chewing his thumbnail as he waited for Leif to pick up.
“What?” Leif snapped. “Finally done with your hookup?”
“What?” Tanner squinted. “What are you talking about?”
“That’s where you were, right? Hooking up with someone?”
“No,” Tanner said with a confused laugh. “Why would you think that?”
“Why else would you be unavailable for hours?”
“I love that you think my stamina’s that good, especially after a game,” Tanner said, frowning. “But I wasn’t fucking anyone, I swear. And why would you care if I am anyway?”
The phone went silent, and then he heard Leif swallow. “Uhh. Never mind.”
“No. Tell me why, Princess.”
“I’m not your Princess,” Leif snapped.
“Do you want to be?” The words slipped out before Tanner could even stop them.
The phone really went silent then.
“What does that even mean?” Leif asked quietly.
“I don’t know,” Tanner admitted because this didn’t feel like the right time to tell him he was in love with him.
Or figure out how they’d make a relationship work even if Leif felt the same way.
“I … I’m not sure. But you’re mad at the idea of me being with someone else and earlier, I felt sick telling someone that I hated you and now I’m confused.
But when I’m with you, it feels right, okay? That’s what I know.”
Leif was silent for so long that Tanner pulled his phone away to check to make sure he hadn’t, like, accidentally ended the call somehow or something. Because that would be just his luck.
When Leif finally spoke, all he said was, “Okay.”
“Okay what?” Tanner asked.
“Okay, we don’t know what it means but we know it means something.”
“Are you still mad at me?”
Leif sighed. “Just tell me why you bailed on me tonight.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I fucked up.”
“So what’s going on? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“No. I mean, I’m okay. I’m not hurt. I, uh. Fuck … I have to figure out how to explain this.”
“Why does that sound like you’re trying to come up with a lie that I’ll believe.” Leif’s voice tightened up again.
“Fuck, no!” Tanner said. “No, that’s not it. I’m trying to figure out how to explain it without … without telling you something that someone I care about wouldn’t want me to share.”
“Oh.”
Tanner took a deep breath. “So you know I went to O’Neill’s Pub—that’s our big hangout place—to celebrate Crawford’s milestone, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I was gonna drop by for an hour max, then bounce and meet up with you. But I got—I got distracted. Jesse wanted me to dance, and I was totally, like, mentally typing up a text to you when, uh … Sebastian interrupted me and I—I forgot to text you. Or, like … my brain said that I’d already totally texted you, but I hadn’t actually hit Send.
Only I didn’t figure that out until a little bit ago.
And once I did, I called you right away. You believe me, right?”
“I think so.”
Think so? That didn’t sound very good, but Tanner plowed on.
“But, like, in between then I found out some really big stuff about a teammate, and we had to hash some shit out and—”
“Do you want to see me or not?” Leif sounded kinda pissy now.
“Yes! Dude, of course I want to see you!”
“Then come over whenever you’re done at O’Shea’s. I sent you the code.”
“It’s O’Neill’s,” Tanner began but Leif was still talking.
“If you show up, it means we’re going to figure out what we’re doing, okay?” Leif said. “If you don’t, I’ll know what that means. That you—that you don’t want to—”
“I want to!” Tanner protested.
“Then fucking get your ass here, Clayton. Show me you want this.”
Tanner opened his mouth, but the call had actually ended. For a second, he just sat there, his head spinning, a little drunk and a lot worried and very confused.
“Okay,” he said, squaring his shoulders. “Okay. So, I go in there, I say goodbye to everyone, and then I order a ride and go to Leif. I can do this.”
“Wait, no,” he muttered. “I order a ride, then I go in there, say goodbye, then go to Leif. That way I can’t fuck this up.”
Tanner took a deep breath and prayed to the hockey gods. “Don’t let me fuck this up. Pretty please with a Stanley Cup on top.”