Chapter 17 Neil #3
Knowing that one day soon all of that was going to drift away, however, was upsetting me.
Someone else was going to take her plush lips and kiss away all her doubts and fears and insecurities.
Someone else was going to make love to her divine body, even though “making love” was nothing more than a deceptive phrase that Babygirl liked to use.
Imagining her happy and satisfied with someone else made me want to start smashing in faces, but I knew that letting her go was still the best choice.
Every day, I was more and more convinced of that.
My dependence on Kim wasn’t like drugs or alcohol or any other addiction.
It was not an evil that I had taken on from the outside; it was an evil that was deeply rooted in my own head.
An evil that had invaded me so completely and refused to leave despite the war I constantly waged against it.
It was an evil that lived inside me. An evil that was me.
“Look who’s here…” Logan said in a singsong voice that told me he was uncomfortable.
I looked to see what had caught his attention and spotted the Wayne sisters, Alyssa and Megan, dancing in the middle of the crowd.
The former grinned at a friend and tossed her hair without a care in the world.
She didn’t look at all like a girl who’d just been dumped after cheating on her boyfriend.
Beside her, Megan danced sensually. I checked her out, unable to stop myself.
She had a black shirt tied off high on her abdomen.
It left her flat stomach exposed while simultaneously emphasizing her abundant breasts.
The leather pants she wore hugged her ass so tightly that I could see the outline of the thong she had on underneath.
I turned my gaze to my brother, worried about how he’d react to seeing his ex.
“And how do you feel about that?” I asked when I caught him staring at Alyssa. It was clear he hadn’t gotten over her. I wished I knew what was going on inside his head.
Feelings were deadly weapons.
And love was the worst of them…a human being’s greatest source of suffering.
After being betrayed similarly by Amber, Logan should have taken it slow and been even more cautious with women.
“I don’t feel like I’d ever get back together with her. But I would give it to her good one last time. Just to really show her how pissed I am,” he said tautly.
“You’ll find someone better. Those Wayne bitches are best kept at arm’s length…” I told him. I looked for Megan, and to my surprise, I found her green eyes fixed on me.
I stared back at her impassively. Her black hair, clipped up into a high ponytail, swayed in time with her hips. Her full lips broke into a mischievous smile as she registered my inquisitive gaze on her body.
She was telling me something, but I didn’t have the same unspoken understanding with her as I did with Selene.
Babygirl was an open book to me; Megan was not.
All at once, the thought of Tinkerbell gave me a terrible stab of pain in my chest. I leaned over to speak directly in Logan’s ear so he could hear me over the music and asked, “Have you seen Selene anywhere? I lost track of her a while ago.” His gaze shifted, looking at something over my shoulder, and then his forehead wrinkled in surprise.
I turned around to see what—or who—was so shocking.
What the fuck?
I found Selene dancing with Julie in a provocative, sensual fashion. Too provocative. Too sensual.
Her friend was cycling through a series of erotic movements that made her look very different from the shy girl I’d seen in the library.
But I didn’t give a shit about her.
My eyes immediately locked on what was mine, on the five feet and six inches of curves designed to set off an uncontrollable desire between my legs. I watched Selene, enchanted. She looked like the sexiest fucking angel, halfway to drunk. She was wild and divine.
Her ass swaying back and forth was turning me inside out, while her long hair fluttered in the air like auburn ribbons with every movement of her hips. There were guys watching her—just her—and they were practically foaming at the mouth.
They were watching my goddamned Neverland. My Tinkerbell.
The problem was that not only did Selene have a truly mind-blowing body but also such a perfect little face that she inevitably cast a spell over anyone passing by.
“Has she been drinking?” Logan asked, giving me a sideways look. I hoped she hadn’t; that wasn’t like her at all. The last time she’d drunk too much at a club, she wound up losing her virginity. To me.
I continued to watch her warily.
I could tell from looking at her sad little smile that something wasn’t right.
Babygirl was upset, dwelling on something.
I wanted to go to her and ask her what had her so troubled.
I wanted to kiss her and take her home, but instead I held still and kept leaning against that fucking bar to prove to myself that she didn’t have any power over me.
She had no power as she danced, and some asshole rubbed the fly of his jeans in excitement.
She had no power as she pretended I didn’t exist while she had fun with her little friend.
She had no power as she let Kyle put his hands on her hips and chase her audacious movements.
She had no power as he plastered himself against her, grinding his crotch against her ass.
She had no power…
She was completely free to do whatever she wanted with whomever she wanted, in fact…
Suddenly, I pounded my fist down on the bar as an indescribable madness began to pulse in my veins. I fought against myself and my instinctive urge to break the musician’s nose. I fought against my fear of losing Selene.
I fought my anxiety, my possessiveness, and the fear that, deep down, I simply wasn’t enough for her.
What the fuck were these human emotions burning up my chest?
They hurt; I felt like I was suffocating.
“Neil?” my brother called out behind me, alarmed, but by that point, my vision had already gone blurry from rage.
I stalked rapidly over to her, shoving aside anyone in my way. I never once took my eyes off Selene and Lucky, whom I was already picturing laid out on a stretcher, breathing through a tube.
Babygirl immediately spotted me striding menacingly through the crowd, and her eyes went wide as she abruptly stopped dancing. He, meanwhile, just made a confused face. I shoved Kyle aside violently as soon as I reached them. He stumbled back, and I stabbed a finger at him.
“Walk away from her now, or I’ll put you in the hospital.
Your choice, dickhead,” I threatened him, totally unconcerned with the attention I was attracting.
Fortunately, the loud music kept my wrathful voice from carrying too far.
Kyle looked me up and down with disgust plain on his face.
He looked at me like I was an insect, human garbage, a psycho he’d cross the street to avoid.
But I ignored his looks and seized Selene by the wrist and pulled her savagely against me.
She trembled even as she glared defiantly at me. Lucky retreated like the coward he was.
“Did you like having someone else’s cock rubbing up on you?
” I burst out, just a short distance from Selene’s face.
I hated letting that part of me out; I hated the mindless beast I turned into when I lost my head.
But Selene had a unique power to drive me insane, and not just in bed.
“Is mine not enough for you?” I pressed.
“Your vulgarity is embarrassing,” she hissed at me, and my eyebrows shot up in surprise. I couldn’t stand it when she got all condescending, and I hated it even more when she did it in front of people.
“Oh, that bothers you now?” I said tauntingly. “Yet when I’m fucking you and I whisper all that filthy shit into your ear, you turn into a fucking faucet.” I went on, visibly infuriating her.
“What do you even want with me? Why don’t you go find Megan?
” she shot back. I was thrown for a moment, but I realized that she must have noticed my appraisal of the dark-haired girl and had misunderstood.
“You obviously like her even though you try to deny it. It’s pathetic,” she said, taking another shot.
My hold on her wrist tightened until she bared her teeth in a snarl.
“So this was payback, huh?” For a fleeting moment, I wanted to bite the surly little moue right off her mouth.
I should have been even angrier, but instead I just laughed.
Selene was getting up to ever more childish antics, and all it did was show how much she cared about me.
I was just about to explain how I didn’t give two shits about Megan when the musician came back over to butt in unnecessarily.
“Let her go. You’re hurting her,” he told me, jerking his chin at my fingers wrapped around my Babygirl’s slight wrist.
My Babygirl. Mine. Maybe that wasn’t clear to him.
I turned my gaze on him and gave him a fulminating sneer. I could have decked him, but I decided that it was my duty to teach him a valuable life lesson in a classier way.
I refocused on Selene and took her face in my hands.
Then I bent to meet her lips, catching her off guard.
But there was nowhere to escape. I held the back of her neck and thrust my tongue aggressively into her mouth, forcing her to give in to me.
I was not at all surprised when she went rigid in my arms and pressed her hands to my chest like she was going to push me away.
But I knew she’d surrender soon enough. I knew my Tinkerbell, and she never could resist me. I pressed myself against her, enveloping her completely. I made her feel all the muscled planes of my body and chased her tongue with mine until she gave in.
I claimed her ferociously, hotly, and so intensely that she couldn’t keep up.