Chapter 23 Megan #4
I stopped thinking entirely the moment his tongue moved along the contours of my tattoo before circling languidly around my areola.
I dug a hand into his hair and pressed him harder against my chest. He pushed my thong to one side until he could feel on his fingertips how aroused I was.
I had never felt so engaged with a man; my body seemed to accept him without reservation.
Without revulsion, without nausea.
Pleasurable shivers ran down my spine as he slipped two fingers inside me and moved them with practiced wickedness. I squeezed my eyes shut and gave myself over to him, moaning weakly.
Then, he stopped touching me and took advantage of my sudden physical weakness to reverse our positions. I found myself with my back against the mattress and him above me, his hips slotted in between my thighs.
“I told you—”
“I’m not letting you be on top. You can dominate other guys, but not me.” The smell of his shower gel made me feel drunk, and for some reason it made me want to lick his warm, smooth skin.
I caressed his back, moving down to his rock-hard butt cheeks.
I groaned in approval, and he smirked, kissing every inch of skin he could find.
He started with my throat and moved down between my breasts before sinking all the way to my stomach.
He brushed against my navel, and I waited impatiently for him to get to the out-of-control fire that was blazing just below, but instead he stopped.
He held still, staring at the thong I was still wearing, and I had no idea what the hell he was thinking about.
I was fighting for my life while Neil seemed entirely too cool and rational.
“What’s going on?” I gasped out.
Was he seriously going to leave me frustrated, dying to feel his tongue in the place I needed it the most?
I let out a whine of disappointment, and Neil blinked rapidly before parting my knees and pulling my panties off with an angry growl.
He stared at me—stared at all of me—and I swallowed hard, a little embarrassed. I wasn’t the blushing kind, but the way he was looking at me was uncomfortable. There was conflict in his eyes, desire and anger as well.
All at once, his thoughtful expression vanished, and he lowered himself onto me.
I would have liked to feel his tongue between my thighs, but Neil made up for it by rubbing his tip against my clit in slow, intense movements.
Feeling him so big and hard against me was brain-scrambling.
“I don’t know if I can come,” he muttered into my ear, but I was too dazed to speak.
His face was awe-inspiring; I couldn’t stop looking at it.
His lips were wet, his eyes gleaming with want.
I was ready, eager to welcome him inside.
He could feel it, and as I grasped his hips, he bit down on my neck and plunged into me with one strong, hard thrust.
I screamed with all my might.
For a second, I was afraid my flesh had torn, and I let out a groan of commingled pain and pleasure.
Unconsciously, I lifted my pelvis to make it easier for him to get deeper in.
I had thought I was prepared for his size, but I absolutely was not.
He filled me so completely, and I struggled for air.
Tensing up only would have made things more difficult, so I forced myself to relax against the mattress.
“Fuck, you’re tight…” he whispered as I felt my body struggle to accommodate his invading presence. My head fell back and my nails dug into his sides.
He let out a groan full of some weird animal satisfaction.
Then he paused when he felt my breath catch and looked me in the eye to see if I was okay. I could feel my inner muscles burning, but I was perfectly alright. The last thing I wanted him to do was stop before I got mine.
“Still sure?” he asked hesitantly, and by way of response, I seized his mouth and kissed him emphatically, with passion and longing, and moved my body experimentally beneath him, trying to figure out what he liked.
I wanted to know whether he liked it slow and intense or wild and hard.
I had my doubts because Neil was pretty silent, rarely moaning or making any sound at all.
He let out a roar, however, when I moved more boldly, when I bit down on his shoulder or scraped my nails down his back.
I groped his ass, urging him to move faster, and got a particularly satisfying rough moan of approval for my trouble.
He was also trying to read my reactions to see how far he could go with me.
“Yes, like that… Don’t hold back…you’re magnificent,” I slurred, scraping my nails against his shoulders.
He would have some pretty obvious marks the next morning.
He began thrusting harder, angling himself so he hit my clit with each stroke.
His powerful back contracted with each thrust of his hips.
And I worshipped him with my whole self, touched him with all the passion that I had, and whispered to him that I trusted him.
I trusted Neil as I’d never trusted anyone else before.
“I didn’t put a condom on,” he murmured, his strokes speeding up. I had noticed that as well as the fact that it appeared to be unusual. He always had a full pack of condoms in his room and on his person, so I figured he always used them.
“Don’t worry, I’m on the pill,” I managed to gasp out.
“But I didn’t ask you.” He paused. He was struggling to think clearly and looked at me in confusion. “I didn’t ask you. I got carried away, and that’s not like me. I always wear them with everyone except…” His pupils dilated. His thoughts raced away from the room, chasing some other woman.
Something had changed. Neil was closing in on himself again.
He remained suspended with his weight on his elbows. His hard cock was still inside me, still aroused, but the emotion wasn’t there anymore. I rubbed his shoulders reassuringly as he gasped for breath. Then I bucked up against him, feeling a stab of pleasure in the bottom of my stomach.
But Neil just continued staring seriously at me, lost in thought, no longer concerned about picking up where he’d left off.
I wasn’t going to be able to stand it much longer.
I couldn’t stay unaffected with his chest pressing down on me and my thighs compressing his hips.
“So now it’s not Kim but Selene that you’re allowing to rule you?
You don’t have a choice, Neil. Either you fight your torments or you lose your mind.
” I caressed his jaw, and he went stiff.
I breathed in the smell of him that had mixed with my own and sucked in a breath when, in one decisive movement of his hips, he pushed himself back inside me.
Slowly, he penetrated me fully, squeezing his eyes shut to drink in my moan of pleasure.
Then he put his hot mouth against my ear and inhaled.
“Use me. I want you to enjoy this, Megan. Let this be something completely different from what you went through with Ryan…” he whispered, his voice almost yearning.
He began to move again, and this time, he seemed determined not to stop. I was fully in his power, and I had never felt more naked.
It felt like my soul had been stripped. Of everything, even my fears. I cried out as he pounded me ferociously. A burst of heat lit my skin aflame, my back bowed upward, and my knees trembled as they struggled to hold up against the brutal impacts of his pelvis.
He’d quit holding back, just as I’d asked him to do.
It was a forbidden connection that we had, filled with transgression and the unspoken weight of memories.
The visual of him sweating, his muscles flexing, and his skin gleaming left me speechless.
“Neil…” I was going to come if he continued at that pace, and he just pounded relentlessly, strategically into me, fully aware of how aroused I was. I grew wetter and wetter, rocked with profound shivers, my throat ragged from screams of delight.
Neil was about to shatter me into a thousand pieces but also to reinvent me, to rearrange me, to remake me, and to put all my pain to rest.
“This is sex, Megan. Not what those sick fucks forced on us…” he whispered as I let loose another uncontrollable cry. Tears stung my eyes. I blinked them away and smiled at him. Neil watched me intently, trying to read my reaction, and I ended our exchange of stares with a kiss.
I wanted more from him. An emotional connection that made words unnecessary.
I knew Neil was the right man for this and knew that he would understand me.
He kissed me back, breathing hard through his nose, and I grabbed his hair, pulling him against me. I was no longer in control of my body; I couldn’t stop wanting him.
When he moved even faster, my mind went hazy with pleasure, fully subsumed by our all-consuming madness. And then, with a liberating shout, I exploded beneath him.
He continued delving into me, and I could feel him laughing into the bend of my neck, delighted to have given me an orgasm.
The first one I’d ever had with a male partner.
That realization gave way to an almost suffocating joy that I expressed with an involuntary sob. I covered my face with both hands, embarrassed by the unexpected tears, and Neil hovered over me, panting and sweating.
“Everything okay?” he asked in concern. I just nodded, trying to hide my weakness from him.
But he was suspicious, pulling my hands away from my face to look closely and make sure.
His eyes softened, and he wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb, fully aware that he was the source of these new and wonderful emotions.
“Have you never climaxed with the other men?” he guessed. My heart was pounding in my chest. I wasn’t accustomed to spilling my secrets, but I had lowered all my defenses to him.
I shook my head. It had never happened with the others because I hadn’t been able to trust them. I never felt entirely safe when I was with a man before, nor did I feel certain of their good souls.
Just before we started, I’d told him that I love anything with a soul, but I’d forgotten to specify that the soul also had to be a pure, honest, and noble one.