Chapter 23 Megan #5
Like his.
It occurred to me then that he’d made sure I was fulfilled but hadn’t worried about his own pleasure. I knew that Neil hadn’t come yet, and I wanted to give him that. I didn’t say anything, just moved my pelvis, urging him to continue.
He watched me first in confusion, then with understanding as he began to drive more powerfully into me.
I gave myself over to his storm, letting myself be struck by his lightning. He caressed my thigh with one hand, and I squeezed him between my knees to show him that it was all okay. He could take from me what he’d already given.
I was worn-out from his strong, powerful thrusts when I finally heard that long, profoundly male groan of release. He was right at the edge.
All at once, he pulled out of me and orgasmed on me, painting my stomach with long, hot streams.
I’d thought he might come inside me, but I supposed he wasn’t quite ready to share that kind of intimacy. For someone like him, it would have been a massive show of trust, and, knowing how guarded he was, I knew he would need time before he could let go like that.
He collapsed on me and pressed his forehead against the pillow as he tried to catch his breath.
I could feel his heart pounding as I was crushed beneath his weight, unable to move or breathe.
I felt like I’d been split in two, completely shattered, and yet it was the best experience I’d ever had with a man in my entire life.
“Thanks,” I murmured, incredulous, exhausted, and satiated.
A mild numbness spread throughout my muscles, and my eyelids drooped.
My body had just released an enormous amount of the suffering, fear, and pain that had kept me tied down for far too long.
Neil rolled over next to me, and I felt the cold as he put distance between us.
I turned my head to look at him. He laid completely still, staring up at the ceiling.
His plush lips were red; droplets of sweat had collected between his pecs. His cock was still stiff and reddened.
All scrambled up and more than a bit wild.
“Thanks for what?” he asked abruptly, his voice lazy, his muscles relaxed.
“For making me reevaluate sex with men.” I smiled. He turned, his eyebrows drawn together. “Relax, I’m not going to ask you to be my boyfriend,” I reassured him. Neil did not look at all peaceful, though. There was still something on his mind.
“You’ve always kept me at arm’s length these last six months.
What made you decide to give in today?” He aimed his golden eyes at me.
The thin light filtering in through the window highlighted the layer of sweat on his forehead and cheekbones.
I wanted to touch him again and seek out some of his warmth, but I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.
“Because I realized that I could trust you. It was never easy being with a man after the assault I endured,” I admitted plainly.
I was still reckoning with the psychological fallout from that cursed time with Ryan, which had cut so deeply into my soul.
I’d built a suit of steel armor around myself to protect me from everyone else.
I had always thought of myself as a strong, brave person, but like every human being, I had my vulnerabilities and my fears.
I hadn’t thought I was capable of feeling new emotions.
My heart had been worn-out and drained for so long that I thought it would be impossible for me to experience true physical and emotional understanding with another person, man or woman.
“You trust me?” Neil repeated, sounding skeptical. I trusted him completely. He was the one who saved me when I was a child. Because of him, I’d never been filmed by Kim. Because of him, the police arrested her and Ryan and put a stop to their cruelty.
“Yes. You’re the only person I’ve ever completely trusted,” I whispered.
His eyes were still locked on mine. It seemed to me that the gold of his eyes always turned more liquid when he was disbelieving or amazed by something.
Neil wasn’t much of a talker and not given to expressing his emotions, but I knew he felt things deeply.
Even if he did keep them a secret from everyone, himself included.
“I need to… I have to go back to my room.” He stood up, proudly and gloriously naked, and I admired the way his ass muscles contracted with every step as he made his way to the door.
“Miller,” I called out after him. He turned and gave me a look. “You have an outstanding ass. And the front’s not bad either. But aren’t you forgetting something?” Neil frowned, confused, and I pointed at his boxers abandoned on the floor. He rolled his eyes at me.
“Afraid you won’t be able to resist the urge to jump my bones?” He shot me an enigmatic smile as he clutched his boxers in one hand, still continuing to display his entire body with all its power and allure.
“Well, I am now that I’m aware of your enormous…potential,” I admitted with a shrug. “By the way, congrats on the royal scepter, your majesty.”
He shook his head and went back to the door.
“Thanks, Head Case. You can check out its magnificence any time you like.” He winked before exiting the room and leaving me alone.
I hadn’t expected him to stay and sleep through the night with me, nor did he seem like the type to cuddle in the afterglow.
That wasn’t Neil.
I collapsed back on my pillow, thinking about what had just happened.
I could smell both of us on the rumpled blankets, his warmth and mine, his clean smell mixed with my own. But the little half-smile faded from my lips when I thought back on the moment when Neil’s face had darkened at hearing Selene’s name.
I never asked him about her. We never spoke of her because every time I’d so much as alluded to her, he’d broken something.
I wasn’t entirely sure that he wasn’t thinking about her during sex.
In fact, I was sure that’s what he was doing with the other girls.
Why else would they all look like photocopies of Selene?
I didn’t look like her, though.
I mused on that for a long time: I bore no resemblance to the girl.
Did that mean that he hadn’t been thinking of her when he was with me?
I huffed and decided to go to sleep. Thinking too much would only get me keyed up and anxious. I pulled the sheet over myself, putting off showering until the morning. Oddly enough, it didn’t bother me to have a man’s smell on my skin or even traces of his semen on my stomach.
Unsettled by the new things I apparently accepted now, I shut my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
* * *
The sun’s rays filtered through the room’s large windows to touch my skin.
I opened my eyes slowly, remembering what had happened the night before.
The experience felt almost dreamlike, but when I looked down at my naked body and caught a whiff of Neil’s scent still on me, I knew it had all been real.
I got out of bed slowly, lowering my feet to the floor and grimacing in pain when I felt the ghost of his presence between my legs.
I dragged myself to the bathroom like a plane crash survivor and skipped right by my reflection in favor of a relaxing shower.
My muscles were sore. Even some I hadn’t known I had.
I babied my body, gently massaging all the aching parts.
I spent about half an hour under the warm spray of the shower, hoping to claw back some of my physical strength and mental clarity, which Neil had apparently completely drained from me in one night.
I hadn’t realized getting it on with him would be such a singular experience.
My stomach tightened and my legs went wobbly at the memory of having him, even if it was only once.
I’d held out against his charm, his predator’s smile, his ruthless seduction, and his teasing moves for months, but finally, I succumbed.
And I couldn’t find it in me to regret it.
After my shower, I put on a pair of black leggings and a matching top and went to the kitchen. My heart did a little flip and landed in my stomach when I saw him there. He was sitting at the kitchen island in just his sweatpants, smoking a cigarette.
His golden eyes, which had been immersed in the phone he had clasped in one hand, looked up to scrutinize my face. The grim glint in his eye took my breath away. He looked confused but also furious. The flickers of rage I saw in his gaze cut into my like fiery blades.
“What’s up?” I asked, moving toward him. “As you can see, I’m not wearing any of your clothes today, so no need to bust my chops about it,” I offered.
“Sit down,” he demanded, exhaling cigarette smoke. His voice had never sounded so hard or intense as it did in that moment. I’d seen him raging and furious before and though I had always been a strong woman, the feeling of impending danger put me on my guard.
“Are you freaking out? Is this about last night? Look, nothing happened for me, it was just—” He chuckled low, searing me with his gaze. Truthfully, it hadn’t been just sex for me; it had been a lot more. But I couldn’t tell him that.
“You’re still in touch with Dr. Keller, apparently.
I’d like to know why he’s asking you about me, and, more importantly…
” He paused, forcibly grinding out his butt in the black ashtray on the kitchen island.
Then he stood up, revealing himself in all his glory, and my breath caught.
“How long has he been ordering you to manipulate me?” he asked with a derisive sneer.
Neil looked deep into my eyes, like he was trying to probe my soul and draw forth all my insecurities. A chill ran down my spine.
Shit.
“Di-did you read my text messages? That’s a violation of my privacy, you know?” was all I could manage; I couldn’t think clearly. Neil stalked toward me, and my body went up in flames; I trembled with every step he took.