Chapter 25 Selene #5
I was still a bit sweaty, and I reached up to feel my forehead; it was still warm but no longer hot. I sat up and looked blearily around. Beside me, I could make out the impression of Neil amongst the blankets. I ran my hand over it and found it still warm, a sign that he’d only recently moved.
Was he gone?
Had he returned to Chicago with Megan?
“How are you feeling?” I jumped as the door swung open and the man himself appeared, a glass of milk in one hand and a plate in the other.
His hoodie was unzipped, and he wore a white T-shirt underneath that emphasized his abdominal muscles.
After so many agonizing months, I knew that the sight of him like this, looking casual and rumpled first thing in the morning, would be ingrained in my memory forever.
He was as lovely as a painting, and I’d be admiring him all my life.
I gulped. What I really wanted to do was tear off those clothes and show him that I could do more for him than all his other useless lovers put together.
We used to communicate so well between the sheets, and I missed that intimacy, especially because Neil was often at his most vulnerable during those times.
It was when he’d give another little piece of himself.
“A lot better, thanks. Did you stay here all night?” I adjusted the pillows behind my back and made myself comfortable against the headboard. Neil sat down beside me and checked my forehead, unconsciously licking his lips. I held perfectly still, just staring at him in a daze.
“Yes. Fortunately, your temperature’s gone down.
I had to get your father to write a prescription for you.
You were very sick. He and my mother are downstairs.
They wanted to see you, but I asked if I could be alone with you for a little while,” he added hastily, seeming uncomfortable.
It surely wasn’t easy for him, seeing his mother again after everything that had happened and knowing how she’d lied to him for years.
I wanted to ask if he’d given her a chance to try to explain herself, but, knowing him, he’d just thrown up an impassable wall of pride.
Neil gave me a watchful look, and I gave him a small smile, trying to wordlessly express my gratitude to him.
“I also took off your clothes because you got really overheated and sweated a lot.” He glanced quickly at my legs, and I grimaced.
I blushed violently at the thought of the horrible white panties I was wearing with the dumb little pink heart in the middle.
Neil set my breakfast down on the bedside table and stared deep into my eyes.
“You shouldn’t be embarrassed about me seeing you in your underwear.
Your captain did too, didn’t he?” he needled.
I had already been more than clear about what happened with Ivan, but Neil continued to poke at it because he thought I was lying to him.
He couldn’t wrap his head around me staying faithful to him even when we were no longer together.
“He didn’t see my underwear. I already told you—nothing happened,” I said again.
Still, I felt so small and impotent beneath his glowering, scrutinizing stare. His jaw clenched and his eyes darkened. I began to wonder if Neil was incapable of coping with me having any contact at all with another boy, no matter how relatively minor.
“So he didn’t touch you?” He looked away from me so I couldn’t read his emotions on his face and handed me the glass of milk. I took it just to humor him, but I didn’t actually feel like drinking it so I simply held it in my hands.
“He didn’t touch me there, if that’s what you’re getting at,” I clarified.
“And did you touch him?” he pressed. I stared at him in horror.
“No! Oh my God!” I burst out. “No,” I said again, embarrassed. He heaved a sigh of relief, like I’d just lifted an enormous boulder off his chest. Then he gave me a lascivious smile.
“Good job, Babygirl.” He shrugged in his usual careless way and pointed at the still-full glass of milk. I shook my head and his gaze turned ominous. If I didn’t obey him, we were going to have a fight, and so, with a huff of irritation, I brought it to my lips and took a sip.
“I do have some self-respect. The things I’ve been feeling ever since I met you are real, not the delusions you pretend they are.
I couldn’t just slot someone else into your place.
But you did…” I felt like I might puke just thinking about it, jealousy tightening my stomach.
I immediately moved the glass away from my lips as they twisted in disgust. Neil spotted it and shot me a miserable look.
“I brought you some breakfast…” He changed the subject, grabbing the plate and offering it to me.
Up close, I could see that it was a slice of cherry pie.
Where did he get that? My heart swelled with emotion.
“I asked Anna to make it for you,” he told me, sounding almost awkward.
I took the plate from him and examined the slice—it looked so good my mouth began to water.
“Thank you…” I answered, marveling at him.
Five minutes later, I’d drunk all the milk, finished all the pie, and was licking my lips delightedly. Neil gave me a satisfied smile.
“Good stuff?” he asked mischievously when he noticed me staring slack-jawed at him. I went tomato-red as I tried to get a grip on myself.
“Yes, very good,” I babbled.
“I’m glad.” He leaned forward, pressing an unexpected kiss to my forehead.
Then he stared at my lips, and I knew what he was trying to tell me without words: He wanted me just as much as I wanted him.
He slowly drew his thumb along the contours of my mouth as though trying to memorize it.
He gathered a few crumbs as he went and then licked them sensually from his thumb.
I gulped and shifted uncomfortably. Then, all at once, I remembered that he had slept with Megan, and I looked up at him, anguished. The torment on my face must have been obvious, much like the misery that had been grinding me down for months.
“Whatever you’re thinking right now, I want a full reset.
” Neil used two fingers to lift up my chin until our eyes met again.
Then, he stretched out over me, forcing me to lie back on the bed.
My back hit the mattress as he hovered above.
He held himself there, palms on either side of my head.
I had no idea what he was going to do next, and the tension only ratcheted up along with my fear that I would succumb to him again.
If he made a move, I knew I wouldn’t have the strength to reject him.
Abruptly, Neil wrathfully tore back the blankets that separated us and studied my bare legs. I opened them to make room for his body between them, and he settled down on me. I could feel his erection, hard and insistent between my thighs, and my longing for him exploded in my chest.
My head spun, my body temperature spiked again, and my knees went weak. One of his typically savage sex sessions probably would have killed me at that point.
So I tried—I tried as hard as I could—to resist him.
“Please…no…” I put my hands against his hips, and he could feel how anguished I was. My soul was already shattered; I would feel so used if he took something from me without being able to give me any reassurances in return.
I could no longer tolerate that kind of behavior from him.
“It’s okay. I don’t want to do that. Not with you, not like this.
” He dropped a tender kiss on my forehead, and I was surprised at his reaction.
For a brief, stupid moment, I wondered if his attraction to me had faded and he didn’t want me at all anymore.
Maybe he preferred Megan? “There’s something else I want.
” He ran the tip of his nose over my cheek and then down to my throat, breathing me in deep like he’d missed the smell, like it was the most incredible perfume he’d ever encountered.
His wild hair tickled my skin, and his stubble rubbed against me, drawing shivers of pleasure.
“What do you want?” I asked shakily. I rubbed his strong back and squeezed my legs more tightly around him, letting him know that I was there for him and I always would be.
“I want you to make me some promises.” Neil stared intensely into my eyes. He looked like he was about to ask for something extreme, something important.
“Okay…” I looked at his lips, where I’d left a trace of myself. Where I’d given all of myself.
“Promise me…” Neil propped himself up on his elbows and played with my hair with one hand.
“Promise me that…you’ll always have faith in yourself, even when people try to hurt you.
Promise me that you’ll keep making mistakes, but that you’ll learn from them.
Promise me that you’ll become the person you want to be and do everything in your power to make your dreams come true. ”
He gave me a small but earnest smile, and it made my heart beat faster.
“Promise me that you’ll always keep those ocean eyes so deep and luminous, that you will live your life to the fullest. Promise me that you will stay good and sweet because it’s the world that’s wrong, not you, Selene…
” He squeezed his eyes shut as though trying to capture the moment and take it away with him to wherever he went next.
Then he opened his eyes again and they rested on me: hot, intense, and gleaming.