Chapter 25 Selene #6
“Promise me that you won’t be afraid of anything, but that you’ll stay away from deadly things and guard yourself like a precious jewel, because that is what you are.
You are the most beautiful thing God ever made.
” He smiled as he rested his forehead against mine, and I wrapped my legs possessively around him.
I could feel him pulling away again, this time for good.
“Promise me that if you ever meet another man who is anything like me, you’ll stay far away from him.
Because people like me can’t change, and you deserve so much more.
” He sighed deeply and gave me a silently reproving look, but I would never undo any part of us.
I would do it all again in a heartbeat because he was where my life truly began.
He was the reason I felt alive, that I figured out who I was and who I wanted to become.
“Promise me that you’ll make love like you’ve always wanted with someone who is not me and is not like me.
Promise me that you’ll love again, someone other than me.
Promise me that you’ll allow yourself to have another chance, that you’ll become a loving wife and mother, and that you’ll allow only the right man to take his place beside you.
Promise me you’ll fly high because that’s why fairies have wings: to get away from evil and all the people who want to hurt them.
Promise me that this time in your life will be a lesson and that you’ll learn it well.
That you’ll understand in the future that the damned cannot be saved.
We might need an angel, but we can never be like them.
Promise me that you’ll see that I’m telling you the truth, no matter how much I wish it were different.
No matter how much I wish it could be some other way for us.
Promise me that you’ll keep on believing in love and that you’ll give your whole heart to the ones who deserve it because your heart is so precious.
It’s worth so much more than you think, Tinkerbell.
” He brushed his lips across my own and shut his eyes, holding back the urge to kiss me.
But, Mr. Disaster, I can’t make those promises to you. I won’t.
Never.
Instead, I promise that I’ll never stop loving you.
I promise I’ll never stop belonging to you.
I promise that you will always be there; no matter how far you go, you will remain with me. Inside me.
You will forever be a part of me.
I wanted to tell him all of that, but instead I just shook my head.
“Kiss me.” It wasn’t a request. I grabbed his head and seized his mouth, and I infused that kiss with every promise I would not keep.
“Selene.” Neil pulled back, staring at me in shock, his mouth swollen and glistening from the passionate kiss I’d stolen from him.
We were both struggling to catch our breaths, our cheeks red, our eyes bright with desire, and our bodies aflame.
I could feel what he felt—something strong, powerful, incontrovertible.
His body was motionless against mine, our hearts beating as one.
The connection between us was real and profound. It was silent, but it was true.
I found myself in his eyes.
I found security in his arms.
I found home in his scent.
We were bound together.
We were a mess of contradictions.
We were want, dangerous energy, and vivacity.
A calamitous love.
Unstable magic that had created something awe-inspiring.
“I always thought you were made to push my madness beyond all boundaries, Tinkerbell,” he murmured, a look of sorrow passing over his face. “But I can’t follow you…” He sighed, fighting himself. “I’m heading back to Chicago tomorrow.” He moved to get up, trying to avoid looking at me.
“Wait.” I restrained him with my legs, pressing my heels hard into his butt.
I wrapped my arms around his back, the same back that so many other women had stroked and clawed in the months we’d been apart.
But none of them had been able to lay a finger on his soul.
It wasn’t an easy thing to get to. It was hard, clawing through the armor that Neil used to protect himself from the world. And I knew that better than anyone.
“Please, Selene. Just let me go…” he begged, squeezing his eyes shut and breathing heavily.
He wanted to stay with me on this bed. He probably even wanted to make love the way he always did, with all the fiery longing inside him.
I could feel him between my legs, his torso pressing down on my breasts, his hips grinding slowly against me, but he was trying not to lose control.
“I am fucking begging you…and never in my life have I ever begged anyone for anything.” He clenched his hands into fists on either side of my head.
His breathing grew labored, and he chewed his lower lip, continuing to fight his own instincts.
“I know you don’t want to go. I can feel it,” I insisted.
I touched his face and stared deeply into his eyes, trying to remind him of what we were until six months before.
“You want to run away because you’re afraid of what you’re feeling right now and of what you might feel if you let yourself go with me right now on this bed.
Am I right?” I whispered gently against his lips.
I moved to kiss him properly, but he turned his face aside.
“Have you ever trusted someone else as much as you trust me? Have you ever made love to a woman like you did to me? Have you ever allowed yourself to let go completely? Have you looked any of the others in the eye the whole time? Have you slept beside any of them through the night? Did you ever hold them? Tell them about yourself? Did you do all of that with anyone else?” I demanded.
Neil gave me a thoughtful look. He rested his forehead against mine and shook his head.
“You were making love to me in your own way all along, without realizing it. Maybe these months of separation have helped you see that. And that’s the truth.
” Neil closed his eyes, and I felt his body shivering, softening slowly, and with a sigh of frustration, he allowed himself to rest atop me.
The last bit of his resistance melted away as he laid his cheek on my chest, right where my heart was.
I slid my fingers into his hair and held him, cuddling him close to me, because there was no need to do anything else. He was already inside of me, just like I was already inside of him.
* * *
Megan had gone over to her parents’ place while I was sick. I didn’t ask if she was going back to Chicago with Neil.
Instead, I stayed in my room, in bed.
According to my father, I was still too weak to get up.
I’d reluctantly let him come see me, and it had been strange talking to him again. He was never going to accept my relationship with Neil, and just like he always did, he made that clear again with cutting words.
We all ate lunch together, though, like we were a happy family in a holiday commercial. Despite the fact that there was nothing joyful about us at all.
Neil wouldn’t even sit at the table—he couldn’t bear to be that close to his mother.
Fortunately, Logan and Chloe were there to keep the mood up.
Neil seemed to be back to his old self with them.
When I’d come down for lunch, I’d seen the three of them in the living room talking, but I’d given them their privacy. I had no idea what they were saying to one another, but my heart swelled with joy when Neil pulled them both into an affectionate hug.
Maybe he was finally realizing that even though they had different fathers, they were still siblings, connected by a bond so durable that nothing and no one could ever destroy it. Not even William Miller, that total bastard.
After lunch, I returned to my bed. My temperature hadn’t spiked, but I still had a very bad headache, and my body felt weak.
When I was feeling a bit stronger, I took a shower to scrub off some of the sweat from the previous night. I got dressed then in a heavy sweater and jeans because I was still cold.
“Sure you’re not hungry? You skipped dinner.”
I gasped when Neil walked into the room without knocking or asking for permission, as usual.
“No, I had plenty at lunch. I feel like a beached whale,” I said, giving him a fond look.
Neil burst out laughing in response. He shut the door behind him and leaned back against it, folding his arms over his chest.
“You’ve lost weight, actually. But at least you kept that ass plump and sexy,” he noted, narrowing his eyes.
“Apparently you never miss an opportunity to check in on it,” I shot back.
“I’d love to do a lot more than that with your ass, Tinkerbell,” he said in an impish whisper. The room felt like it was filled with him, inundated with his powerful scent, a little, inescapable cage for me. I sat down on the side of the bed and planted my feet firmly on the floor.
“I’m in the mood for…” I paused, looking him carefully up and down. He watched me curiously, waiting to hear what I was going to say. His hand tightened on the opposite bicep, and he swallowed hard, and I could see what he wanted now that I was feeling better.
“Pop Rocks,” I finished with a big grin. Neil made a face and cocked his head to one side in confusion. A lock of chestnut hair fell over his eyebrow. He was so beautiful even when he was blinking in befuddlement.
I got up and grabbed my coat, moving purposefully toward the door.
“What are you doing?” he demanded.
“I want to go buy some.” I shrugged as I grabbed my purse and slung it over my shoulder. “I haven’t had them since…” I froze to avoid saying Jared’s name. The last time I’d had Pop Rocks was when my ex had shown up at my house in Detroit and given me a package of them along with an apology bouquet.
I shook my head, shoving that memory back down. I didn’t want to talk to Neil about him; it wasn’t right.
“What the hell are Pop Rocks?” Neil pushed off the door abruptly and advanced on me, still looking confused.
How could he not have heard of Pop Rocks?