Chapter 18
Jaxon
After my appointment with the neurologist, where I got my first round of Botox shots, Blaze took me right back home, where I curled up on my bed and went to sleep, my head damn near splitting open.
Food was a fucking joke, and the mere thought of trying to swallow anything made me want to puke.
I was sort of aware of Blaze checking on me occasionally, but for the most part, I stayed asleep.
“How is he?” I heard Hunter ask as I slowly woke up. A glance at my phone told me it was damn near seven in the evening, which meant football practice was over—practice Blaze had once again missed because of me. Guilt swirled in my gut. I was holding him back from so much.
“Sleeping. He had his first round of Botox injections today. Doc said it could take anywhere from two weeks to a month to see any kind of relief, but if it does work for him, it’ll take about three rounds of injections before we begin seeing any notable change.”
“How often are the shots?” The sound of the cabinets opening reached my ears.
“Every twelve weeks. But the neurologist seems optimistic. Without surgery, Botox is probably something he’ll be doing the rest of his life since he definitely has compressed nerves, which she believes also is the reason he’s struggling to retain information and is the reason his short-term memory isn’t always one hundred percent. ”
“Will he do surgery?”
“No,” Blaze told him. “And I won’t push him. He’s fine just as he is. I don’t need him to change back to who he used to be. I only want that for him if it’s something he wants. I won’t push him to have surgery if it’s something he’s not comfortable with.”
“Understandable,” Hunter said. “I wasn’t insinuating he needed to be who he was before all of this.”
Blaze heaved a sigh. “I know,” he said quietly.
“I just worry he thinks he needs to be the old him, and it makes me think others think that way about him, too. Jaxon will never be who he was again, but that’s fine.
He’s perfect just as he is. His new disabilities don’t make him any less of a man or any less my boyfriend. ”
My heart clenched in my chest, and something loosened in me all at once.
Those were the words I’d desperately needed to hear.
That I wasn’t somehow less because of what’d happened to me.
That he loved me just as I was and didn’t think I needed to change or somehow switch back to who I was before I received an injury that changed how my brain worked.
Tossing the blankets aside, I sat up and rubbed at my gritty eyes.
My migraine had dulled to a headache, which meant I should be able to stomach eating and taking the new medication my neurologist had prescribed me.
I headed to the bathroom and emptied my bladder, then washed my hands.
When I made my way to the kitchen, I found Hunter and Samuel sitting at the bar with plates of food in front of them.
Hunter had a grilled chicken sandwich and sweet potato fries—fucking gross—and Samuel had a greasy burger and tater tots.
“Hey,” Blaze greeted, smiling at me from where he was standing at the kitchen counter across from Hunter and Samuel. “I ordered wanton soup for you. Thought you’d want something lighter than a sandwich or burger. How are you feeling?”
“A little better,” I told him. He tugged me toward him once I was close enough and leaned down to kiss me. My cheeks warmed, and my fingers curled into the sides of his t-shirt that repped our college. All too soon, he parted our lips and pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose.
“Sit down. I’ll pour you up some soup.”
I took a seat next to Samuel, who smirked at me. “If only your high school self could see this coming.” He cackled at my scowl. “His homophobic little heart would have a whole ass attack.”
“Fuck you,” I grumbled. Sure, I’d been a dick back then, had acted like a homophobic piece of shit because I’d thought it was cool, but it hadn’t been right.
I wished every day someone had put me in my fucking place back then.
If I was Samuel, I’d have never given guys like me, Blaze, and Hunter the time of day.
“Nah. Hunter does that well enough.” He winked at his boyfriend, who chuckled and shook his head.
I mimed gagging, making Hunter snicker from the other side of Samuel. Blaze set a bowl in front of me, then set a napkin down with one of my pills, then a bottle of water. “Make sure you take that,” he said.
“You’re being a Daddy,” Samuel said, unable to help being a dick.
Even so, my cheeks flamed red. I was not into the whole Daddy kink thing, but I did enjoy being taken care of.
I could blame my parents for that one since they’d emotionally neglected me my entire life, but did Samuel have to be an ass about it?
“Not our thing,” Blaze told him as he lifted his own grilled chicken sandwich to his mouth. “But if you’re projecting, maybe you and Hunter should have a conversation.”
Samuel smirked. “I won’t lie and say I don’t have daddy issues, but I don’t need to be Daddied by my boyfriend, thank you.”
Hunter snorted a laugh. “Samuel is not submissive enough to be Daddied,” Hunter informed us.
I groaned. “Please shut the fuck up. I’m not trying to picture either of you being submissive or dominant or anything along those lines. Can we change the fucking subject please? You’re killing what appetite I have.”
Blaze pointed his finger at Samuel and Hunter. “If he doesn’t eat, I’m blaming the both of you. Don’t wear out your welcome.”
Samuel barked out a laugh. “And you say you’re not a fucking Daddy.”
“Again, Samuel, if that’s your thing, take it up with Hunter,” Blaze retorted. “Conversation over.” He looked at me. “The three of us are going to spread out in the living room and do some studying and get some homework done. You up to joining us?”
I sighed. I did not want to do homework, but it needed to be done. I was determined to graduate, no matter if it mattered to my parents, no matter if I never needed to actually work again, and no matter what kind of learning disabilities I now faced.
“I’ll join,” I grumbled.
“Awe, sound more enthusiastic,” Samuel teased. “Homework is fun.”
I cut him a dark look. “Says the guy who doesn’t even go to fucking college.”
Samuel mimed brushing dust from his shoulder. “Don’t be jealous that I managed to secure a job I love without a four-year degree.”
I leaned around him to look at Hunter. “Seriously, what the fuck do you see him?”
Hunter’s grin was pure trouble. “It’s his good dick.”
Samuel laughed so abruptly, he choked on his burger.