Chapter 19
Blaze
“Unfortunately, your optic nerves have been damaged,” the neuro-optometrist Jaxon had been referred to told him.
I tightened my hand around Jaxon’s, my heart aching for him when his face fell.
“Surgery won’t fix this. The best I can do for you is give you prism glasses in combination with your prescription, which will help the double vision.
But as for the blurred vision, your peripheral vision getting any better…
” He shook his head. “There’s unfortunately nothing that can be done about that. ”
“So, this is permanent,” Jaxon said, his voice hollow.
Dr. Reids nodded. “Yes, unfortunately. I see it more often than I’d like, mostly in patients who play sports, especially high-contact sports.”
Jaxon sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “Can we do the glasses then? How soon can they get in?”
“I can have them as soon as Monday,” Dr. Reids told him. “And I’ll order a cover you can put over your glasses to help with the light from your devices. I know that’s not very comfortable for you.”
Jaxon shook his head in agreement. I brushed my thumb over his knuckles. This wasn’t the news we’d wanted, but at least we weren’t left wondering if he’d ever get better. We now knew this was permanent, and we could adjust our lives accordingly.
“I know you had an eye exam done right after your injury, but I’d like to do one myself for my own comfort of mind. Is that okay?”
“That’s fine,” Jaxon told him.
“Well, come on and sit right here,” the doctor instructed, patting the blue leather seat with all those eye exam contraptions attached to it. “And take your glasses off for me.”
Jaxon slipped his glasses off and handed them to me before standing.
He stumbled, and I lurched forward in my seat, my arm latching around his hips to steady him.
He gripped my arm, swallowing thickly. It was rare his balance was affected, but today was proving to be one of the rougher days for him.
Due to the medication the neurologist put him on, his headaches hadn’t manifested to migraines in weeks, which was a fucking blessing.
But he was still dealing with everything else—short term memory loss, his reading comprehension, and his focus.
But we were doing good at keeping his frustration with that at bay.
“I’m okay,” he murmured. I slowly released him, and he made his way to the chair, taking a seat in it.
I stayed silent, just watching as the doctor did the eye exam and Jaxon answered every question the doc asked him.
Once it was over, Dr. Reids shook Jaxon’s hand.
“The receptionist will give you a call once your glasses come in.”
“Thanks,” Jaxon said. He looked at me. “Can we go?”
“Yeah, baby.” Standing, I grabbed his hand in mine, then led him from the room. Once we were in the car, Jax drew in a deep, shaky breath, his hands fisting in his lap. I watched him, waiting as the heat blew on us from the vents.
Finally, he said, “I fucking hate this.”
I held my hand out, offering my support.
But I wouldn’t force it on him, not when he clearly felt so ripped open and raw.
I knew sometimes, touch could be too much when he was already so overwhelmed.
But he immediately laced his fingers with mine, then pulled our joined hands to his lap. “It’s permanent,” he whispered.
I nodded. “Yeah,” I said quietly. “But that doesn’t make you any less of a person, baby.
I know this is going to be an adjustment, but we’ll work through it, and we’ll continue finding ways to make things easier on you, okay?
” I squeezed his hand, and finally, he turned his head, looking over at me.
“We’re in this together, remember? Always. ”
He nodded. “Thank you.”
I lifted my other hand to cup his jaw, then pulled his lips to mine. Our kiss was soft and slow, wreaking havoc on my soul. But I felt him relaxing the longer we kissed, and it wasn’t until he was leaning into me more and more that I parted our lips and rested my forehead on his.
“You’re mine,” I reiterated, just like I did every time shit got too hard for him to handle on his own. “Lean on me, baby. And don’t lose sight of where your home is, you got me? I’m your home.”
He nodded. “You,” he whispered.
I kissed him again, then stroked my knuckles over his cheek. “Forever, baby.”