Chapter 42
Miracles happen, love. Never lose faith
I ended the call, tears rushing to my eyes as I collapsed onto the edge of the bed, releasing my device.
Sobs rushed out as I tried to suck a full breath in.
This couldn’t be. There had to be a mistake.
Deep down, I wasn’t so sure what the truth was anymore.
This phone call could change my life forever.
More tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision as I replayed the words in my head.
It had been almost ten days since the incident with Evan Nichols.
The bruise coloring my abdomen was barely visible now, only a faded greenish veil remaining.
Mason’s face and ribs had healed too. We were supposed to put that episode of our lives behind us once and for all and move forward.
Instead, it was hanging above our heads, ready to expose secrets we were both ignorant about.
Secrets I doubted I was strong enough to face or acknowledge if it meant threatening the future of our relationship—the one we fought so hard and so long for.
From Mason’s bedroom, I heard the front door open and shut downstairs and sat upright.
A big part of me wished it were Craig or any of their roommates because I wasn’t ready to face him with the truth, but my gut told me otherwise.
Would I ever be able to expose the ugly truth to the boy I loved if that truth existed and meant hurting him?
I choked on a sob, wishing I could rewind my life ten minutes back and never answer that stupid phone call.
Now that I had doubts, there was no faking it anymore. Something was wrong, I could tell.
Seconds later, Mason walked into the room, proving my instincts were right when I’d heard activity downstairs. An aura of contagious energy followed him, and I’d be the one putting a dent in his happiness instead of basking in it.
“Hey, baby. I thought we could drive to Elk River for dinner. Mom called and invited us over. I’m sorry I’m late.
Coach put us through more drills since we’re facing the Bobcats next, before the playoffs.
If we leave now, we’ll be back tonight at eleven tops.
” He closed in on me, his body heat transferring to my back.
From where he stood, I knew he couldn’t see my face—my eyes, probably bloodshot, or the despair I was sure was etched across my features.
No doubt mascara streaks were tracing my cheeks, black rivulets exposing everything I was trying to hide.
He rested his large hands on my shoulders from behind, trailing his lips along the nape of my neck. I inhaled a shaky breath, trying to keep my freaking out under control.
“And I was thinking… Don’t say no until you hear me out, okay?”
I nodded, the words locked in my throat feeling like shards of glass.
“Since classes officially ended yesterday, and you’ll be working until Christmas, and I’ll be buried in training and practice if we move forward in the playoffs, and we’ll both be like super busy, I was thinking you could move here full time.
Until classes resume in January, to be more specific.
This way, we could drive back and forth between Crestwood and Elk River to see our families but still have our own love bubble here, away from everyone else.
The guys are flying home for Christmas and will be back, depending on whether we advance to the quarterfinals or not.
And Craig will be working for a software engineering company back home and driving here only when necessary.
He won’t be staying here. He said the experience will be beneficial for his degree and keep his mind off things he’s not ready to deal with.
So, it would mostly be you and me, alone.
And Naked Tuesday. Will you think about it? Please.”
I nodded a few times, swallowing the giant mass lodged in my throat, trying to sound normal and not as if the world—my world—had come crashing down on me minutes ago. “How was your day?” I blew out a breath, trying to keep my fragile composure intact.
“What’s going on?” Mason grasped my shoulders and spun me around. Even without looking at him, I could hear the gears in his brain working.
The air wrapped around us, tight and stifling, suffocating me.
No way could I hide from him now. He would see right through me. I sighed. I bet I didn’t nail the unaffected tone after all.
When I met his eyes, his face contorted with worry. “Hey, love. Talk to me.” He fell to his knees and circled my waist with his arms, drawing me into his embrace, the one place where I felt truly protected and loved. As if he could tell I was desperate for a hug.
I tried to speak, but my words piled up in my throat. Heartbreaking sobs exited my mouth instead. So much pain stormed inside me. I couldn’t sort through my emotions. All I could focus on was the doctor’s words as they echoed in my head over and over again.
Hi, Melinda. It's Dr. Cameron. I’ve reviewed your results, and I’d like to discuss them with you.
There’s no urgency, but I think it’s important we talk in person about what they mean for you going forward.
I would like to see you within the next couple of weeks.
Sometime after the holiday break. What do you say?
He leaned back. “Mel, what happened? Tell me everything. Are you sad because I asked you to move in with me? For now… It’s…
huh…it’s temporary. I don’t wanna freak you out.
I just thought you would like it since you’re here all the time anyway, and you told me Cassidy would be away at a cabin with her dad for the holidays.
Also, I don’t want you alone in your dorm.
I’d much prefer it if you stayed with me so I can keep you safe. ”
I wiped my runny nose with the sleeve of his teal and navy-blue varsity hoodie I was wearing and took a full breath in, calming my jittery self. “It’s not that... I swear. I think it’s a great idea…huh…moving in together…”
“But?”
“But I-I can’t.”
I searched his face with my gaze and cradled his cheek with one hand, trying to memorize the feeling of his warm, stubble-covered skin and the way love poured from him whenever our eyes met. “I can’t do this. Listen, I need fresh air. I…I can’t breathe.”
He blinked, pulling away to look at me. “Now?”
I bobbed my head several times. My words tumbled out as I spoke. “Yes. Air. Now. Away from here.”
“What is it? You know you can talk to me.”
“I can’t do this. You and me. It’s too hard.” What was I saying? The words didn’t sound like mine. Was I trying to hurt him because I was hurting? My thoughts spun at a dizzying pace. I can’t do this. You and me. I was making no sense. Now I was scaring even myself.
Mason looked as confused as I felt. “What? Can you repeat that? I think I misheard you just now when you said we were over.”
Over? Bile rose in my throat just thinking about it. That wasn’t what I meant. Right? Did my subconscious know something I didn’t? I shut my eyes, trying to untangle my messy thoughts.
New doubts invaded my mind. Would chasing Mason away be the right thing to do?
I didn’t even know what the doctor wanted to talk about.
Why was I overreacting? No. He’d said whatever this was would impact my future.
I wasn’t overreacting, just reacting to news I wasn’t ready to receive.
I racked my brain, trying to read between the lines of what he’d implied but hadn’t said out loud.
“Mel? I love you. You love me. Tell me I’m misunderstanding you.”
Geez, by being so nice, he was making the situation even more difficult.
I ran away from him once because I thought I wasn’t good enough for him.
This time, I had the certitude destiny was determined to complicate our lives and throw us curveballs we hadn’t seen coming...
or keep us apart. Something was wrong with me.
I was certain of it now. Ohmygod, was it cancer?
Nah. If it were, he would have said it was urgent.
Once, I’d seen a documentary about a girl my age who went blind without any prior symptoms. These things happened.
It would still be considered an emergency if I were losing my sight, right?
My heart banged against my ribs. See? I was a flight risk.
Mason deserved the best, not to be attached to me, a broken wing that would prevent him from flying and reaching his full potential.
He didn’t need my drama in his life. He had just stopped using, and after he had gotten beaten up by his teammate because of me, the last thing I yearned for was to impact his future even more.
But was breaking up the right thing to do for us? For him? For me?
My heart dissolved into ashes in my chest. Should I leave? I didn’t want to. Nothing made sense anymore.
“Explain to me what you meant because I’m freaking out right now, and you’re not saying anything.”
How could I? I knew nothing except that I was defective somehow. Maybe I could explain the basics. Make him see that being linked to me would be his demise. Explain what the doctor had said. Or the thoughts spinning inside my head.
You should set him free. Set him free? Why was my subconscious making an appearance again?
Where was this voice in my head coming from?
Did it speak the truth, though? I was aware it was an option; only, my heart had a hard time coming to terms with the idea.
I breathed in and breathed out, everything inside me stilling through the storm about to shatter me.
I had to leave this room. I wasn’t sure I could think clearly if we looked at each other.
After all, Mason Pierce had always been good at reading me and my moods.
He would know something else was up and that I was keeping stuff from him.
I couldn’t afford this before I knew what to do. Air. Fresh air. Some distance.
“I gotta go for a run. Clear my head. Make sense of everything.”