Chapter 32 #2
“We adore them,” Maddie said cheerfully. “Hailey likes you. She doesn’t go willingly to too many people.”
“I’m honored,” Mallory said.
Joe, Janey and P.J. arrived a few minutes later, Janey wearing an expression of trepidation as she was introduced to Mallory.
“It’s nice to meet you.” Mallory took the hand that Janey offered. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Nice to meet you, too. I’m sorry I wasn’t here the last time.”
“No worries,” Mallory said. “You’re here now.”
“Just don’t call me Brat, and we’ll get along fine.”
Mallory laughed. “You got it.”
Mac watched the proceedings with a sense of disjointedness. Normally he’d be thrilled to spend the afternoon with his family and to see Janey taking an important step with their new sister, but it was impossible for him to enjoy anything when he was at odds with Maddie.
Tucked up against Shane’s side, Katie felt like she had to be dreaming.
He wanted her close to him all the time.
If they were together, he was touching her in some way, regardless of who might be watching.
In front of his entire family, he was making a very public declaration, and Katie loved it. She loved him.
She hadn’t said the words to him yet, but she wouldn’t be surprised if he knew how she felt.
Yes, it had happened fast, and yes, she was a bit dizzy from the whirlwind speed of their relationship. But she was also euphoric and excited and filled with anticipation of what was ahead for them. If only she hadn’t insisted on waiting awhile to talk about what came next for them.
He’d asked her to move in with him, and that was all she’d thought about since she received that note.
She hadn’t told anyone, even Julia, that they were talking about such things out of fear that everyone would think she was crazy to go from never having had a boyfriend to living with the man who’d taken her on her first date.
But every instinct she had was telling her to go for it, to leap with both feet and let Shane catch her. If only it weren’t for the lingering, nagging doubts about whether he was truly over Courtney, she’d say to hell with the deadline and tell him now that she wanted the same things he did.
He hadn’t said or done anything to lead her to believe his mind was still locked in the past. She’d picked up on subtle things, such as the way he’d zone out sometimes, staring into space, his thoughts obviously somewhere far away from her.
Though he was focused entirely on her except for those infrequent periods, the doubts festered despite her desperate desire to ignore them.
After they’d eaten a delicious steak dinner, Shane’s Aunt Linda asked her son Evan to play for them.
Sitting on his uncle’s spacious deck with Shane’s arms around her from behind, the sun setting over the Salt Pond and Evan’s incredible voice singing “Stay With Me” by Sam Smith, Katie had never been happier or more content.
Shane whispered the words to the song in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.
It took everything she had not to tell him right then that she’d stay with him forever if he’d have her. Later that night, while he made passionate love to her, Katie told herself she was a fool for worrying about where else his thoughts might be when he was so obviously devoted to her.
But the doubts niggled just the same, growing and multiplying in the week between the cookout and the wedding when his periods of melancholy seemed to grow more frequent.
The closer they got to their self-imposed deadline, the more worried Katie became about whether it might be a huge mistake to give him everything.
While Shane was at Grant’s bachelor party, Katie went downstairs to the Bistro, where the girls were celebrating Stephanie’s second-to-last night as a single woman.
The women were in high spirits as they drank champagne and toasted the bride, and Katie enjoyed the evening with women who were starting to feel like friends, especially her new sister-in-law.
“I miss drinking,” Laura said mournfully. “I feel like I’ve been pregnant for years.”
“Well, you kind of have been.”
“A few more months, and I’ll never be pregnant again.”
“Is Maddie okay? She was hitting the champagne hard.”
“I noticed that, too. Tiffany will get her home.” Laura shifted her gaze from watching Maddie to Katie. “So things are good with Shane?”
“Very good.”
“It’s nice to see him happy again.”
“Does he seem happy? Really?” As she asked the question, Katie realized how badly she needed an objective opinion. Was she reading more into his frequent silences than they warranted?
“Why would you ask that? Is something wrong?”
“I don’t know. I hope not, but…” She lowered her voice to ensure no one would hear her.
The others were so caught up in the celebration that she and Laura could speak freely.
“Sometimes, he seems… remote, as if something is weighing on his mind, but he doesn’t want me to know.
When we’re together, he’s completely focused on me, but I still sense something is amiss.
And I have absolutely no experience at this and no way to know if I’m overreacting, looking for something that isn’t there or have cause to be genuinely worried. ”
“Have you asked him?”
“No,” Katie said with a sigh. “I haven’t, because I’m afraid of what he might say.”
“That’s a tough one. It’s possible—and I only say this as speculation, not because he’s said anything to me—that he might be still dealing with some fallout from Courtney’s sudden reappearance. But that doesn’t mean he’s not totally invested in you.”
“How can he be totally invested in me if he’s still thinking about her?” As Katie gave voice to her greatest fear, her stomach began to ache.
“I think you should talk to him. Ask him what he’s thinking about when he punches out.”
“The thought of asking him that makes me feel sick. I’m also afraid he’ll be mad, because he’s told me how he feels and what he wants. I’m the one who’s holding out, so what right do I have to question him? You know?”
“I hate Courtney for reopening that wound just when it was finally starting to heal.”
“Part of me is grateful to her because he got some answers, but the other part of me wishes he didn’t know that she never stopped loving him. I feel like I’m out on a huge limb in a stiff breeze in this situation, hanging on by my fingertips.”
“Do you love him?”
Katie nodded. “Very much so.”
“Tell him. That might make all the difference for him.” Laura rested her hand on Katie’s arm. “And for what it’s worth, I’m thrilled that you love him. I think you’re perfect for him.”
“Thank you.” She hugged her sister-in-law. “I know what I need to do.”