Book 18 Kevin & Chelsea #2
“To say the least.” Not once in the year they’ve spent together has she ever mentioned wanting a child. He asks for time to process the idea of a baby, saying nothing needs to be decided today.
Later that night, while playing cards at Frank’s house with Mac and their friend Ned Saunders, Kevin tells them Chelsea wants to have a baby. He doesn’t want to have a baby at his age, but he wants her.
“To me, it comes down to the relationship with Chelsea,” Frank said. “If you can’t imagine your life without her anymore, then the decision becomes somewhat simple.”
Kevin walks into the Beachcomber to see Chelsea after cards, and when he finds her holding hands with Niall Fitzgerald, a mutual friend, and talking intently with him, Kevin turns and walks out.
Chelsea goes after him, stopping him in the parking lot.
“I didn’t like walking in there and seeing you holding hands with another guy, especially after the way we left things earlier.”
“I wasn’t holding hands with him! I was talking to him about you, and he was comforting me.” He laughs bitterly. “Sure, he was.”
“Kevin, look at me.” She waits until his gaze meets hers. “He’s my friend. That’s all he is. You…”
“What am I?” he asks, his voice gruff with emotion.
“Everything.”
Kevin needs some time alone. He’s in the kitchen of the house he’s sharing with his sons when Riley comes in. Riley wants to know why Kevin is home since he only stores his clothes there. He tells Riley that Chelsea wants to have a baby. Riley questions if it’s what Kevin wants.
“I don’t know. I told her I need to think about it.”
Riley sits back in his chair, but his gaze never wavers as he takes a good, long look at Kevin. “I know you really like her.”
“I love her, Riley. Despite what you and your brother might think, this is in no way a rebound for me.”
“Okay… But a baby? Really?”
“Your Uncle Frank said, it’s a baby, not a bomb.”
“At your age, it would be like a bomb going off in your life. Are you prepared to go through that again?”
“Not even kinda, but I completely understand that it’s an experience she wants to have.”
“Fair enough, but does it have to be with you?”
“I don’t know, son. I don’t want to lose her, and I want her to be happy. I’m trying to figure out where we go from here.”
Unable to sleep, Kevin texts Chelsea, asking if she’s awake. When she responds yes, he goes to her house.
“How is it possible that you’ve made it so I can’t sleep unless you’re with me?” he asks.
She raises her hands to his face. “I seem to have the same problem. I missed you tonight.”
“I missed you, too.”
“Have I ruined everything for us?” she asks in a small voice that’s so unlike her that it makes his heart ache.
“No, honey. Not at all.”
“If it’s a choice between you and a baby, I pick you, Kevin. I never expected this to be so….”
He gazes down at her, heartened by her words and the emotion behind them. “Important?”
“Yes. It’s become the most important thing in my life.”
“Mine, too,” he says, kissing her. “Right up there with my sons.”
“I didn’t like how it felt to think I’d driven you away.”
“You didn’t.”
The next day, Mac sends Riley to Mrs. Hopper’s house, Eastwood Look, to check on a leak in the roof.
Mrs. Hopper is the grandmother to reality TV star Jordan Stokes.
When Riley arrives at the house, he meets her granddaughter, Nikki, Jordan’s twin sister.
They check out the leak, and making sure it’s fixed quickly for her becomes a top priority for Riley as he makes promises that he worries will make Mac mad.
One of the things Kevin loves about living on Gansett is the big family gatherings that frequently occur.
He attends a send-off for Joe and Janey, who will travel to Providence to await the arrival of their second child.
Everyone they knew was there to wish them well.
Kevin watches his nephew Mac wrangle his young children and tries to picture himself chasing after a little one two years from now, when he’ll be fifty-five.
Not that he doesn’t have the energy or stamina.
He’s always had plenty of both. The big question is whether he wants that for himself, and he honestly doesn’t know if he does.
As Kevin spends time with his brothers, his sister-in-law, Linda, Frank’s girlfriend, Betsy, his nieces, nephews, grandnieces, grandnephews and a litany of friends who are like family, the question hangs heavily over him.
His sons arrive late to the gathering, with Finn reporting that Riley got them into a roof thing that mushroomed.
When he teases Riley about the woman staying at the house being a stone-cold fox, Riley snaps at him.
Kevin tells Finn to leave his brother alone.
Finn tells Kevin he thinks Riley likes Nikki, Mrs. Hopper’s granddaughter.
After dinner, Kevin notices Abby is missing from the group. He finds her cleaning in the kitchen, upset about yet another baby about to be born when she’s struggling with infertility.
“Don’t, Kevin. Please don’t try to make me feel better when I’m a jealous cow. She’s one of my best friends. I should be nothing but happy for her. For all of them.” She applies vigorous effort to cleaning a pan.
He places his hand on her arm. “Stop. You don’t have to pretend with me.”
“I don’t want to be this person I’ve become. I hate this version of myself.”
“Your feelings are totally understandable.”
“Are they?” she asks, her eyes flashing with emotion.
“Would my dearest friends and sisters-in-law really understand that I can’t bear to be around them and their rounded bellies and their joyful families?
Would they understand how fiercely I hate my body for turning on me this way?
Haven’t I had enough heartbreak in my life? ”
Kevin aches for her, the way he did every time she opened her heart to him during their sessions. He does now what he can’t do during therapy and opens his arms to her.
She sighs, wipes her hands and steps into his embrace. All the fight seems to go out of her when he hugs her. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
As the party breaks up, Janey asks her Uncle Kevin to keep an eye on her dad, as he is stressed out over the birth of her baby.
As they walk to their cars, Kevin tells Big Mac he needs to calm down, that Janey is worried about him.
That finally makes Big Mac relax a little. Kevin promises to keep an eye on him.
When Kevin picks up Chelsea at the bar, a customer comments to him that he’s a lucky guy to have such a beautiful woman in his life.
Kevin agrees, but the compliment leaves him with more thoughts swirling through his head.
He wonders if he’s holding Chelsea back from finding love with a man closer to her age.
When he later poses that question to her, she reassures him that he’s who she wants to be with.
She hasn’t wanted anyone but him since the first night they were together.
The guy at the bar was right. He’s a lucky son of a bitch to have earned the love of such an extraordinary woman, and he’d be wise to hold on to her, no matter what.
Chelsea tells him how her parents’ marriage and divorce shaped her view of relationships. “I never had the slightest urge to have children until I had someone in my life who made me feel safe to want more.”
“Chelsea….”
“It’s okay if you don’t want the same things I do, Kev. I just wanted you to know that your love gave me the courage to want things I thought were out of reach for me.”
“I’m so honored that you feel that way about me. I keep thinking I should step aside and let you go find someone closer to your own age, who hasn’t already been a dad for almost thirty years.”
“I’m not looking to go off and have kids with just anyone, and I swear to you, if you decide it’s not in the cards for us, I’ll understand.”
He reaches out to caress her face. “I heard everything you said, sweetheart, and I love you for being honest about how you’re feeling. It means a lot to me that our relationship has made you feel comfortable and confident enough to ask for what you want.”
“It has.”
“You want to talk about what it’s done for me?”
“I’d love to,” she says with a grin that makes him smile, too.
“It’s made me believe in love again. It’s made me believe in myself again.”
“I can’t believe you ever didn’t believe in yourself. You’re too confident for that.”
“That might be how it seems, but when your wife of more than thirty years walks out the door for a younger man, it does lead to a crisis of confidence.”
“I hate that she made you feel that way. You’re the best man I’ve ever known. Well, except for your brother, of course.” Kevin pokes her, and she cracks up. Her “crush” on Big Mac is something they joke about often.
Riley arrives at Eastward Look the next morning to discover the whole roof needs to be replaced.
He lets Mac know, so Mrs. Hopper can be contacted and supplies can be ordered.
He starts to patch the roof until they get the go-ahead to replace the roof.
He is working on the fix when Nikki calls up to him.
“Did you need something?”
“I need the banging to stop. My sister is in a very fragile condition and requires a lot of rest right now. We can’t have all that noise.” He’s read about how Jordan’s husband, a famous singer, posted a sex tape of them online. The ensuing scandal has been devastating to Jordan.
“Well, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but your roof is about to cave in, and when it’s raining inside the house, your sister will be a lot more disturbed than she is now.”
She hugs herself even tighter as stress rolls off her in waves. “How long will it take to replace it?”
“A couple of weeks at a minimum.”
To his horror, her eyes fill with tears. “This can’t be happening.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s in really bad shape. If even a minor nor’easter comes through here, the roof isn’t going to hold.”