Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
GARRETT
“Ipromise, I can cook better than this, but I didn’t bring any matches from the cabin.” Angel holds out a handful of oyster mushrooms and juniper berries.
I fold her fingers back over the food. “You need this more than me. I can hold out until we find some small game, maybe a deer, if we’re lucky. Our wolves can feast until they’re content.”
“It’s not your responsibility to take care of me.”
“I could say the same.”
“You’ve done more than enough. I need to contribute something.”
“Tell Damien everything you know about the WSSO. Their practices, research, locations. Anything you remember. That’ll improve our chance of rescuing the others. Maybe one day we’ll finally destroy the whole fucking organization.”
Her hands start shaking. I kick myself for reminding her of the horror she escaped.
“I’ve never been a mushroom fan, even on pizza,” I say, hoping mundane conversation will pull her back to the present.
“Me neither. But I learned quickly not to be picky in that crate. Ate whatever slop they gave me. To… to stay alive.”
When I grab a few berries and mushrooms and pop them into my mouth, a hint of a smile appears. “I’ll never complain about mushrooms again.”
“Yes you will,” she teases.
“Yeah, I probably will,” I admit. It’s rather shocking how easy she is to talk to, and how her confidence is growing around me even though we’ve only been on the run for three days.
She separates the berries and mushrooms, takes my hand in hers, and pours the berries into my cupped hand.
“Don’t change who you are because of me, Garrett.
The last thing I want is to be coddled. All I need is a little understanding and patience.
I’m a bit messed up right now, and it might take me a while to… adjust to being with allies again.”
“Allies? Is that all we are? Shit, Angel, I thought I’d done enough to earn friend status.”
She laughs and quickly covers her mouth, until I ease her hand aside. “Don’t cover up that smile. It’s full of joy.”
“Only if you promise you won’t treat me like I’m going to break.”
“I’m not sure I can do that. Angels are fragile, aren’t they? I mean, one small snip to their wings and they plummet to Earth.”
“Good thing I’m no angel.”
I slide my hand along her jaw until I’m cupping her cheek. “You are my angel, and I mean what I said before. I will take care of you until you’re healed and you figure out what you want to do long term.”
“I’m not sure who I am anymore.” Her voice trails off, sounding so incredibly lost. “I can never be the person I was before they massacred my pack. The shifter I was before I betrayed—”
My hand covers her mouth. “You will never use that word again, or condemn yourself for something out of your control.”
As I stand there, my hand over her mouth, repeating words my alpha once spoke to me, I realize the hypocrisy of what I’m saying. I step away from her.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, her voice pitching high.
“I’m the last person to tell you how to figure out who you are.
I’ve done things, too. Someone I cared about got hurt because of me.
My packmates keep telling me it wasn’t my fault because I wasn’t even there when Marla got killed.
They don’t get it. I was the one training her. I was responsible for her.”
“Training her for what?”
“Infiltration. I’m a retrieval specialist.”
“That’s why you came for me.” She attempts a smile. “And here I thought we’d made a connection that first time we met.”
“I was doing my job. I don’t expect anything in return. Not even friendship.” I clear my throat. “But I wouldn’t turn it down.”
She reaches for my hand and laces our fingers together. “I need a friend right now, Garrett. One I can trust. I’m sorry for upsetting you.”
“Words only hold power if you let them.” I flash a smile, then turn away, planning to shift.
Her hand grips me, and I find her eyes. Blue pools so clear a shifter can get lost in them. Looking at her, her hand on mine… centers me somehow. It makes no sense, and yet it feels so fucking right.
She holds up her other hand, the one full of mushrooms. “They’re not so bad if you imagine you’re eating an anise cookie.”
A distraction with an old topic, one that’s neutral and safe. She deserves safe.
I take one from her and bite down. “I hate anise.”
That makes her laugh, and with it my heart and soul feel a thousand pounds lighter. My hand cups her cheek. It’s as if I can’t stop myself from touching her.
She presses her cheek against my palm. “I like this.”
So do I. Too much.
Fuck, I have no right to put any pressure on her, even if I did feel a connection to her when we met.
I clear my throat, trying to regain that sense of professionalism I’ve always maintained on a mission.
She’s been through a lot, which I have to keep in mind.
I can’t fall for her, not when she’s so vulnerable.
Friends… friends I can do.
“Forgive yourself, Lina, or it will mess with your head. Trust me, I know that from experience. And don’t try to do it alone. Let others help you. I’m told that part’s important, though admittedly I haven’t been very good about that myself.”
She replies with a simple nod. She’s not buying it any more than I did when Damien gave me the speech.
“Okay, Lina, how about we finish this gourmet meal and continue south?”
“Sounds good. Only one request, shifter.”
“What’s that?”
“You continue calling me Angel. I… I rather like it.”