Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
ANGEL
The moment we cross the border into Garrett’s territory, I stop talking.
I can barely move, especially when a patrol stops us.
The only thing that keeps me moving is Garrett’s wolf.
A nudge from his muzzle, the playful swagger of his tail, and the absolutely heart-melting move that always gets me…
him laying his head atop my wolf’s. Protection, vulnerability, acceptance, all rolled into one sweet shifter.
When we reach the camp’s perimeter, he shifts to human form and digs into a bin full of clothing, picking out a huge men’s shirt, a pair of pants that will swim on me if I shift to human form.
“You can enter as your wolf, but then some might think you’re trying to hide who you are.” He crouches to my level, those teal eyes nearly convincing me all on their own. I trust him, I really do, but entering a pack I don’t know…
My wolf scans the trees, sniffs for what has to be the hundredth time, taking in the new scents. The only reassuring part about being here is that we don’t smell any fear. From all outward appearances, the pack seems stable.
Garrett taps my muzzle. “Your choice, but you can’t stay in your wolf form forever. You’ll get tired of listening to me talk and talk.” He tilts his head. “Though you can shut me up with a bite. That works well-enough for my wolf. But he’s an ornery bastard.”
That causes me to shift, and it’s as slow as last time. Being out of the crate, letting my wolf run and chase rabbits has done wonders for her, for both of us, but we’re not back to normal. Not even close.
“Don’t you dare insult that sweet wolf of yours,” I mock-scold Garrett, enjoying the rare chance to tease him. “He’s not ornery in the least. Just… cautious.”
Garrett’s smile softens. “My wolf has a champion, it appears.”
“That should be you, not me. But I’m willing to pick up the slack until you figure out how to work with him.”
His smile slips.
“I’m betting this distance between the two of you is recent.” When he says nothing, I continue. “It’s not hard to see that you and your wolf are at odds. You hesitate a lot, but your wolf never hesitates. He’s decisive.”
“Whereas I’m not?”
“I didn’t say that. Not precisely. Only that I think you’re more cautious than he is. Or maybe than you used to be.”
“I’m no longer twenty.”
“This is more than outgrowing that sense of infallibility all young shifters have.” I cock my head, considering all I know of Garrett, which isn’t much.
I’ve seen his courage and sheer determination in dangerous situations.
He’s been calm and driven, certainly friendly and supportive, and yet… distant.
“You’re somewhat closed off, Garrett.”
He scoffs. “I’ve talked more to you in three days than I have to my entire pack in months. I’m not holding back.”
He is. But he doesn’t see it. I wonder if it’s because of what I’ve done and he can’t truly forgive me, or because I’m just another victim he rescued.
Damn, I don’t want him to see me as a victim. That’s not who I am. “Why do you hesitate?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re afraid to show me the real you.”
His brows knit together and the tension returns to his jaw. “I’ve told you plenty.”
“You have. And I appreciate your trust in me, Garrett, I really do, but there’s a wall you put up around yourself. Maybe between you and your wolf as well. I’m not sure, really, but that’s what I see when I look at you.”
“I wasn’t always so… closed.”
Marla. It’s the name that hovers on his lips. “You loved her, didn’t you?”
“We grew up together. Sort of thought we’d blood-bond one day.”
“Did she die before you could ask?”
He shakes his head. “She turned me down a few summers back. We weren’t as good a fit as I thought we were.” He swallows. “I guess she saw something lacking in me. And she was right. I let her down when it counted most.”
I hold the shirt against me. It’s going to swim on me, but it’s better than no coverage at all. “You didn’t let her down, Garrett.”
“You weren’t there.”
“No, but that’s not who you are, and before you argue about it with me, I’ve seen firsthand the type of shifter you are. No matter what you say, I won’t believe you let Marla or anyone else down, at least not intentionally.”
He kisses my cheek. “That’s what I love about you, my angel, you believe in others without knowing anything about them. Including me.”
“Remind me of that once I’m inside your camp. Now, where are the pants that go with this shirt?”
He pulls a pair of pants out from the bin. “I’m glad you’re not hiding behind your wolf.”
“I don’t hide. I avoid.”
“We’re more alike than I realized.”
Now, I laugh. “You’re teasing me.”
“Watch and judge for yourself, Angel. I’d do anything for my pack, but they don’t understand me, which is why I keep to myself mostly.”
That makes me think of my pack, how everyone supported me, needed me… respected me. “I was in charge of supplies back home. Got to know everyone really well. Couldn’t avoid it, in fact. Someone always needed something.”
A laugh escapes me, thinking of the reasons shifters gave when they asked me to add a non-critical item to the shopping list. “They get creative when requesting frivolous supplies. Never turned a single one down, though. Pushed those requests to the bottom of the list with the idea I’d get them when I could squeeze a little something out of the budget.
” The image of a little girl strikes without warning.
“I never got to buy that doll for Suzie…”
Before I know it, I’m curled in Garrett’s embrace, his arms and scent enveloping me in a protective layer against the brutality of the world.
“I’ll never see any of them again. And I don’t know why I’m crying about it now. It’s been a year, Garrett. I’ve mourned them. All of them.”
He takes my face in his hands and stares into my eyes. “You’ve been a prisoner for a year, Angel. Even if you mourned, I doubt it was the way you wanted or needed. And you’re entering a new pack, shifters you don’t know. That’s got to be stressful as fuck.”
It is, more than he can understand. I hope he never has to.
“Give yourself the time you need to process everything properly. And cry when you need to. No one will hold it against you. Well, except me. You’re getting my shirt all wet.”
I swipe at the tears, hating that I keep breaking down in front of him, but I’m glad he’s not judging me because of it. “I won’t embarrass you in front of your alpha.”
“That’s not possible. But you might feel better if you’re dressed, especially in this cold.” He hands me the pants and a pair of boots. “Sorry about the sizes. It’s rare any females visit from the outside.”
“I’m not sure visit is the right word. At best, your people will see me as a refugee. At worst, a traitor.”
He throws me that teal-eyed glare I’ve come to adore, the one that says he doesn’t approve of my self-deprecating comments. But I can’t help it. It’s something I do when I’m insecure. Right now, my heart is racing, my palms are sweaty, and my mouth is as dry as a desert.
“Just be truthful. I promise, no harm will come to you.”
When I slide the shirt on like a dress, it falls to my knees.
He chuckles.
“Let me guess, I look like a child playing dress-up.”
“No child has your figure.”
My stomach flutters. I can’t tell if he’s interested in me or just being his usual playful self. He refuses to let me sink back into the darkness. And for that, I’m grateful.
But then he coughs. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. But that shirt makes you look like you shrank.”
“It’s not the first time I’ve worn a man’s shirt.”
A low growl surrounds me, rather possessive and oddly exciting. When I look up, no one else is around. That was Garrett, or his wolf, who growled. He’s an alpha, and they get protective of more than just mates. Friends, family… pack.
“I’ve never seen you in clothes.” I try to push that possessive growl from my memory. With that black t-shirt hugging his chest and his jeans showing off his sublime ass, it’s hard thinking of him as just a friend. “It’s a good look on you.”
“Modeling is my backup career.”
“Seriously. You could model.”
“That means living with humans.”
Out of nowhere, I smell humans. Their stench fills my lungs… but Garrett’s still standing there all casual and relaxed. Just another memory haunting me. I need to focus on something else. Anything.
I twirl in my shirt-dress. “What do you think? Better with or without clothes?”
“Don’t go there, darling. Tempting me with images of that gorgeous body of yours.”
“You’ve been escorting me for three days now. You’ve seen all there is to see on me.”
“I’ve kept my eyes on your face the best I could. I can describe the exact location of every freckle.”
“I don’t have freckles.”
He starts counting as he taps the so-called freckles on my face. “The sun drew them out.”
“You’re making this up.”
“Once we find a mirror, I’ll show you.”
That reminds me I have yet to meet his alpha, his entire pack.
He taps beneath my chin. “Where’d that smile go?”
“Hard to smile when you’re worried.”
“Nothing to worry about. My pack will accept you… or they’ll lose their top retrieval expert.
“You’d leave with me?”
“In a heartbeat. But it won’t come to that.”
I wish I had his confidence, not to mention a skill that would make me invaluable to this pack. All I have is a truckload of emotional baggage and a work history that now includes the WSSO’s top lure… not a great start with a new pack, certainly not a reason for them to welcome me into the fold.