Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
ANGEL
Tess scoots over on the huge blanket spread out in the grassy hill facing the lake. The rise of the hill gives everyone a clear view of the shore and the platform decorated by mini-Christmas trees on either side.
“This is an easier spot for large gatherings, given the hill’s slope,” Tess says as I sit next to her, with Garrett on my other side. “Most mating ceremonies happen here. The mating run goes down that path into the woods.” A huge grin crosses her face as she points it out.
“Fond memories?”
“Definitely.” She leans forward, to glance at Garrett. “Maybe you’ll see for yourself one day.”
“Shh,” I whisper. “I think we’re in a good place. Don’t ruin it.”
“I see that. You got him to attend the festivities. No one’s been able to do that in years. And we’ve all tried.”
I don’t know if he’s listening to us, or not, but his hand settles on my lower back, making me hyper-aware of him. I’m tempted to suggest we leave, go for a walk in private, but he needs to be here. To reconnect with his pack.
“Where’s Damien?” Garrett asks as a group of twelve kids—all under ten years and dressed as reindeer—step up onto the platform.
“Right here,” a deep voice says, making me jump. I never heard him approach. That’s the level of training I hope to achieve. Being able to sneak up on a person unheard. It’s what I need.
The massive alpha is holding three beers. He offers one to me.
“No thanks. I’m more of a hot chocolate person.”
“Ooh, I forgot I brought some.” Tess digs into a large, quilted bag and produces a thermos and two mugs. “For us!”
“You come prepared.”
“Yes, I do.” She pours hot chocolate and hands me a mug that smells weak. The chocolate is sweet, but lacks depth. “It’s good, Tess. Thank you.”
“I make large batches for the kids every campfire we have.”
“After much discussion,” Damien’s lips flatline on that last word, “I’ve been informed it is in the best interest of the males of our pack to increase our chocolate budget for our females.” He holds out a beer for Garrett. “I’ve been told it’s a necessity.”
“She’s wrapped you around her little finger, Damien.”
He grins. “I get more than her little finger, cousin. Here, drink.”
“What if I want hot chocolate?”
“That’s reserved for the females. Need to keep them happy. You… you’re Angelina’s problem.”
“But I’m not thirsty.”
“Did I ask if you were thirsty? Drink. Trust me, you won’t regret it.”
Garrett glares at him, then accepts the beer, opens it, but just holds it. He looks unusually tense and I wonder if that’s because of what we did in the woods or because he’s here among his pack.
Oh, God… Damien’s comment. We probably smell like sex!
I breathe in deeply. To my relief, I don’t smell Garrett on me. Thank god. I don’t think either of us is ready to make our personal business public, especially Garrett. He needs time to process it all.
It was just a random comment. Damien’s his cousin, probably just ribbing Garrett about us sitting together. Nothing more.
I clink my hot chocolate gently against his beer. “Cheers. And thanks for bringing me tonight.”
“No problem.”
When I snuggle in against his side, his arm curves around me.
That makes my wolf howl with delight, more than sex did.
A public declaration, even one as simple as putting his arm around me, is more than either of us expected.
Despite how relaxed his body feels as he holds me, his expression hasn’t changed.
“You okay?” I ask.
He nods towards the alpha. “Damien’s acting… odd.”
“How so?”
“He brought beer. I’ve never seen him drink in public.”
“He’s taking the night off. Just like you.”
“An alpha’s never off-duty.”
I sneak a glance. “I’m not so sure about that. He and Tess are looking pretty cozy over there.” With Tess settled between Damien’s legs, he wraps an arm around her middle and drinks with the other.
Garrett draws a knee up and leans back on one hand. “Could just be me. Not used to being surrounded by so many shifters for no reason.”
“There’s a reason. Relax, and you’ll figure it out.” I let my hand fall to his thigh.
His hand covers mine. “At least it’s a nice night out. Mid-forties, no rain. Perfect for the celebration.”
I squeeze his thigh. “It’s me, Garrett. You don’t need to make small talk. Just be yourself.”
“I’m acclimating.” That grin returns. “It helps having the perfect companion.”
“I’m far from perfect.”
“You’re hardly an impartial judge.” His hand slides to my thigh, and inches his way up my leg. “I, however, am a fantastic judge.”
I raise a brow.
“You said to be myself.”
My eyes drop to his hand which keeps going higher. “You’re just lucky there aren’t any kids nearby.”
“Are you threatening me?” he challenges.
“I don’t threaten people.” My tone drops. “But this is a holiday show.”
“There’s a reason all the kids sit up front.” He bounces his eyebrows.
“No one would dare get intimate with kids around.”
He chuckles. “Oh, Angel, you don’t know my pack very well. They’re strategic about everything. Forty or so feet behind us is the tall grass. You want action, you sit back there.”
“You’re not serious.”
“Want to go explore with me?”
He is serious. About me. I love this side of him, and yet I’m not quite ready for his pack to know we’ve been intimate.
The day he agreed to train me, I built a wall around myself, because it was the only way to get through the training without the guilt eating away at me. I broke through that wall today, gave in to my feelings for him.
Now, here I am, with a shifter I’m crazy about, and a broken wall. What if he peeks through and sees my insecurity? What if he realizes I don’t belong here?
“Sadie Lynn’s maneuvering the kids into position,” Tess announces.
Sure enough, all of Santa’s reindeer are lined up in two rows, the taller kids in back. One little girl turns until her back faces the audience. Sadie Lynn rushes over and nudges her in the right direction. The little girl turns right back, resulting in chuckling from the audience.
“That’s Helena,” I tell Garrett. “I think she has stage fright.”
“Or a bad sense of direction,” Damien says.
I swat Garrett’s arm.
“What are you hitting me for? Damien said it.”
“You were thinking it too.”
“Apologize for what you were thinking, Garrett,” Damien says from Tess’s other side.
“I will not. She has no idea what I was thinking.”
“What were you thinking?” I ask outright.
He hesitates, then says, “Drink your hot chocolate.”
“Knew it!” I tighten my hold on his arm. “I could see the judgment in your brain, you and your wolf teasing a child.”
“I would never—”
“Then why did Damien say it?”
“How the hell am I being blamed for what he says?”
“You’re his cousin.”
“I fail to see—”
“And that right there is the problem with so many males. They fail to see how pigeonholed females get when they make stupid comments.”
“Again, I didn’t say anything.” Before I can open my mouth, he holds up a hand. “But if I had, it would have been to say how cute she is and I hope she gets past her stage fright.”
“You’re not just saying that, are you?”
“Will you hit me again?”
“What do you think?”
“I think I’m gonna get hit again if I answer wrong.”
“Should have apologized,” Damien adds.
“Stay out of it,” Garrett snaps at his cousin.
“I wouldn’t hit a defenseless shifter,” I explain. “A stupid one, maybe, but not a defenseless one.”
“So my choices are to claim I’m defenseless or…”
“Or be right.”
“I’m supposed to read your mind?”
“Yes.”
“Told you to apologize, but you couldn’t listen. Now you’re entering the lion’s den.”
“What does that mean?’
“Nothing you say’s going to be right. Apologize while you still can.”
Garrett holds up both hands in mock surrender. “I apologize.”
“He’s always been a slow learner,” Damien says to me. “You’ll get used to it.”
“You’re not helping here!” Garrett says.
“Oh, so now you want my help. A minute ago you were ignoring me.”
“I always ignore alpha-holes.”
Damien’s growl sends a nervous shiver through me. “I didn’t mean to start anything. I apologize, to both of you.”
Suddenly, Garrett pulls me onto his lap, his arms protectively around me and his mouth against my ear. “Don’t take any of it to heart. Damien and I are just screwin’ around. Nothing more.”
“I don’t mean to cause trouble for you.”
“With Damien?” He harrumphs. “He’s a softie when you get to know him.”
“Nothing about me is soft. Ask my mate,” Damien says.
Garrett taps beneath my chin. “Hey, there, gorgeous. This isn’t like you. What’s going on?”
“I just… I just needed a distraction.”
“From the woods?”
I guess he’s still worried about how hard he took me. I loved every minute of it, but being here…
“Angel?”
“Every time I see that Christmas tree in the center of the pack, I think of home. The week before Christmas, I’m usually scrambling to fulfill all the present requests.
Our alpha only gives a few of us permission to head into the local towns for supply runs…
.” I stop midsentence, realizing I’m talking about them as if they still exist.
Garrett kisses the top of my head. “It’s okay, Angel. Talk about them as much as you want.”
“But they’re gone.”
“Not if you tell stories about them.”
“Then why don’t you ever talk about Marla?”
“I’ve been too angry.”
I can’t stay quiet any longer, not about this. “You should be mad at her, not yourself.”
“I know.”
I guess my face betrays my shock for he releases a deep breath. “Frank and Callen helped me realize she’s responsible for what happened. It’s taking some adjusting to my thinking. It’s hard laying blame on her, because she’s gone.”