Chapter 18
R yder was so tickled to be heading home for a few weeks. The lake house was quickly becoming his favorite place on earth.
Mister Charlie was dozing next to him, snoring softly, and Ryder was juggling his schedule a little bit, giving him more time to de-stress before supper.
It was actually Mister Charlie who’d decided they’d stay at the lake house for a while. Tomorrow, he had to make arrangements for Charles to attend some meetings by Zoom instead of in person. It seemed like they both wanted some time on their own.
It worked out like a charm, honestly, and he was tickled as hell. He wanted a chance to sit and watch the water, work on the garden, cook in the big kitchen, and drive his truck.
Roper
Yo how was NYC?
Roper’s text popped up, obscuring the calendar he was working on.
Ryder
Weird, cool. You know. I went to the bar. It was fine
It was actually cool, if a little crazy and overwhelming.
So many men. So much leather. So many piercings.
Roper
fine? that’s it? FINE? Come on, man. Do better.
Ryder
WHAT? Everyone was nice. Sweet. Polite.
Now he was just being a dick.
Roper
Sweet my kinky gay ass. Give it up, bro
Ryder
OMG SO MANY GUYS you know me and these long drives.”
“I do. I know more about you every day.” Every single day, and he loved it.
“That’s probably true, isn’t it? I’m learning about you too. And there are some things I’ve been thinking about—I think they would make a nice afternoon of conversation. Do you have things you need to do today?”
“I have to unpack us, mostly. Make sure everything is nice. I was thinking soup for supper.” Something easy.
“That sounds perfect. Comfort food. We’re on the same page, no surprise there.” Mister Charlie gave him a warm smile. He loved the way Charles looked at him, always with care and affection in his eyes.
“No surprise at all.” He cupped Mister Charlie’s cheek, loving on him.
“Oh, look at the trees. All those red and yellow leaves. The sun makes them look like they’re on fire. I love this time of year up here. Chilly, but beautiful.”
“I’m so excited to spend my first fall up here. I want to buy a neat sweater to wear around the house.”
“You’re going to need more than one. It gets cold and, as much as I love all the windows, they can feel a little drafty. Sweaters and wool socks and toasty slippers.”
“That sounds like heaven.” He rolled his eyes at himself. “Maybe not cowboy, but pure damn heaven.”
Charles laughed. “Does that bother you? I could build you a little barn with some hay and a wood stove to wear your hat and boots around in if you’d like.”
“Only if there’s a horse to go with it.” He snorted, but just a little.
Charles shrugged. “You could have a horse. You could have two horses.”
“We can talk about that, absolutely. Maybe in the spring. I want to focus on us, your schedule.”
Charles chuckled. “I was mostly being silly because you were lamenting that slippers weren’t cowboy.”
“No. They’re…hygge?” Was that how he was supposed to say that?
Charles barked out a laugh. “Did you just say hygge? I’ve been told I’m pretentious, and even I have never managed to use hygge in actual conversation.” Charles’s shoulders shook. “Bravo.”
He did a weird half-bow in the car seat. “Thank you. Thank you very much.”
“Oh, look. Our lake.” Charles took his hand. “It’s good to be home.”
“Our lake.” How good was that? Their lake.
Charles tangled their fingers. “Well, we have to share it with a few people and some boats, but it’s ours.”
“That’s more than fine. I like boats.” And Charles. A lot.
The car pulled into the looping driveway and stopped right in front of the house.
“All right. We made it.” He kissed Charles’s cheek. “Welcome home, Sir.”
They got their luggage into the house and Charles took his bag toward the stairs. “I’m going to change. Would you start tea?”
“Of course, Sir. I’ll be up in two shakes to unpack us. Earl Grey?”
“Yes, please. With lemon.” Charles headed up the stairs. “Hello, house!”
Ryder chuckled and set the kettle up. As it heated, he put out mugs, cut a lemon, found the honey, and pulled out some stew beef.
By the time he got upstairs, Charles was in soft, dark pants and was bare-chested under a lush smoking jacket. The suitcase was sitting untouched on the bed. “I could smell you coming. That lemon is fresh, hm?”
“Yes, Sir. I put some honey in too.” He handed the tea over, then started unpacking their cases.
Charles took a sip, slurping a little because it was still pretty hot. “Oh, that’s nice. Thank you.” Charles settled in the little sitting area in the corner of the bedroom. “I’d offer to help, but I know how you are.”
“I’m fine, love. I just need to get us put back to rights. You look comfy.” He started sorting. The laundry room was up here, and it made things much easier.
“I am. I’m enjoying my tea. You seem eager to get us out of suitcases, and I’m not going to get in your way.”
“I lived my whole adult life in suitcases.” He grinned and sorted more laundry. “I like being home.”
“I love it when you call this house home. I love that you feel that way, that you feel comfortable saying so. It’s exactly what I want for us.”
“It’s an amazing place. I mean, home is you, but this is house-home.” He rolled his eyes at himself. God, he was a giant dipshit.
Charles smiled and sipped his tea. “We haven’t talked about the club the other night.”
“We haven’t. That was good whiskey. Amazing even.”
“It was excellent. I enjoyed sitting and watching everyone go by. How was your talk with Kacey?”
“It was a little wild, to be honest. Some of those guys were…fascinating.” And a little shocking, maybe, but nice. Everyone was nice.
“I’m sure. There was quite an array of styles and tastes. I had a good talk with River. About you.”
“Me? Why?” Had he screwed something up? He didn’t think so.
“Because I think it would be healthy for us to recognize our dynamic for what it is. I think you have certain needs, and I want to make sure I’m taking care of you as well as you take care of me.
River confirmed what I was already thinking.
He called you a service sub.” Mister Charlie was watching him carefully as he spoke, eyes focused on him. “How do you feel about that?”
“I—” It sort of sounded nasty. “I don’t know. Should I feel bad?”
“No. No, I wouldn’t be bringing this up if I thought it was a bad thing.
I look at it as a way to understand yourself, and us, better.
” Mister Charlie stood and walked slowly in his direction.
“Let me suggest something. I have plenty of money; I can afford to pay someone to do all of the things you do for me and then we could just be together and spend our days any way we like. What would you think of that? Letting someone else take care of us?”
He shook his head immediately. “No one can do it as well as I do. I care about you, your comfort, your ease. For someone else, it’s just a job.”
Even when it was his job, he’d taken great care.
“I agree. I don’t want anyone else. But what do you get out of that? You’re not getting paid, and you’re not being taken care of in the same way. Why do it?”
“You care for me in a thousand ways, but I do it because I care about you. Because I need to make life easier for you.” It made him happy.
Mister Charlie smiled at him gently. “You need to. I understand that about you. That need isn’t about me, it’s about you.
It’s how you define yourself. That’s what River meant.
You do what you do because you care about me, but you need that for yourself.
It’s your service, your gift, your submission to me. ”
He wasn’t sure he understood, but he wasn’t sure he didn’t. “But it’s for you. It wouldn’t be right if it was just anyone.”
“Yes. Because we’re a couple. But if you were on your own, the need would still be there, don’t you think?”
“To have someone to take care of, you mean?” Ryder nodded, because that absolutely made sense. “Yes, Sir.”
“Yes.” Charles cupped his chin. “Are you starting to see what I’m saying? That’s who you are. You’re a service sub. You have a deeply ingrained need to take care of someone. And I am not only happy to be that someone, but I want to make sure that you are happy and have what you need.”
“I am happy. I love you. We’re together.” He leaned into Charles’s touch. “We’re home.”
“Mm. That’s good enough for me. But if you think about it, and labels start to matter to you, I’m fine with that. I just wanted you to know that I see you. I understand you.” Charles bent for a kiss. “And I love you.”
“I love you too.” And that was more than enough. More than.
“I’ll let you finish.” Mister Charlie smiled at him, then went back to his seat and his tea.
“I pulled out stew meat. I’m thinking beef and mushroom soup.” He was craving a little bit. He liked to serve it over mashed potatoes sometimes.
“That sounds delicious. We can settle into the den and have a fire. My calendar is open, isn’t it?”
“Yes, Sir. For a few days, actually.” He winked.
“Oh, you’re a wise cowboy.” Mister Charlie grinned at him over his tea.
“Mhm.” They were going to get to hang out for a bit, and he couldn’t wait.