Chapter Eleven
All Lucas could do was stare at Ajax as Ajax drove them home in Lucas’ car.
His stomach still felt shaky, but Ajax had cried.
Lucas expected Hell to freeze over as they went on with life.
All Lucas wanted was to be back in their space, inside Noir’s home, where they could be alone and just work on them.
Maybe some things had been left unsaid. Lucas didn’t know.
All he knew was they had to stick together while they figured things out.
The card Kash had given him still burned a hole in Lucas’ pocket.
That new life was still an option. Lucas wasn’t as helpless now.
He wasn’t trapped in this life with no way out.
Maybe that mattered more than Lucas had wanted to admit.
“Why that alley?”
Lucas was so lost in enjoying the sight of Ajax. The question startled him. “What?”
Ajax still didn’t look his way. “That alley. Why is that where you went?”
As much as Lucas hated to lie, in this case, he had no other choice. “Maybe I just needed to come to terms with some things.”
He watched Ajax’s shoulders relax. “When I saw your location, I was scared as hell I would find you dead. I brought a team, thinking I couldn’t find you like that again. If I did—” Ajax shook his head. He didn’t finish his thoughts.
The confession didn’t surprise Lucas as much as it should have.
Lucas had changed when his life did. He didn’t feel as mentally strong any longer.
Lucas had lost part of himself in that alley.
Even though he hadn’t gone there for the reason he gave, Lucas couldn’t say he wasn’t sort of searching for answers.
He hadn’t found them. Lucas discovered something else.
He wasn’t alone any longer. His life was nothing like it had been before that night.
Just like he had then, Ajax had come for him.
Lucas understood now Ajax always would. They had each other.
Ajax pulled into Lucas’ usual spot in the garage.
Neither of them made any attempt to get out of the car.
The leather seats of Lucas’ Lexus seemed extra cozy in their silence.
They held each other’s stare. It seemed as if there should be a million things to say.
Instead, they leaned toward each other. Their lips met.
It was the sweetest and sexiest kiss Lucas had ever experienced.
Their lips seemed to barely brush, even as they parted.
It was like they just wanted to share the same air.
The light touch had Lucas burning alive with desire.
He never wanted to move. Unfortunately, they couldn’t stay in the car forever.
Ajax pressed his forehead against Lucas’s. His eyes stayed closed like he savored Lucas’ space. “We should go inside.”
“Yeah.”
They reluctantly moved away and stepped from the car. Hand in hand, they headed inside. Lucas hadn’t cleared the mudroom before his mom appeared.
She looked adorable, with her hair in a messy ponytail.
Her ripped jeans and soft shirt made her look closer to her age.
The walker fooled people. His mom was only forty-three.
Since he was twenty-seven and her health had failed her, people automatically assumed she was older.
But her looks hadn’t faded, and she glowed since she had her freedom back.
“There you are. I’ve been looking for you everywhere. You didn’t answer my calls.”
Damn. “Yeah. Sorry. I turned my phone off earlier. I guess I forgot to turn it back on. What’s up? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner. Just the two of us,” she tacked on.
Lucas glanced Ajax’s way.
He flashed Lucas a sweet smile. “Go. I’ll still be here when you get back.”
Any other time, Lucas would be thrilled to spend some one-on-one time with his mom. Things still felt off tonight, but he would do anything to keep his mom smiling.
He pasted on a bright smile as he met his mom’s stare again. “Sure. Grab your stuff and we’ll go.”
She shrugged. “I’m good. All I need is to slip on my shoes on the way out the door.”
Lucas made a path for her to push through and step into her slip-on Vans. He cast another longing look Ajax’s way.
Ajax kissed his forehead. “Seriously. I’ll still be waiting. Have fun.”
Lucas nodded. “I love you.”
If he wasn’t mistaken, Lucas swore tears filled Ajax’s eyes again. He blinked them away before Lucas knew for sure. “I love you too. Be careful.”
Lucas nodded and helped his mom out the door. It was second nature for him to get his mom settled in the passenger seat before folding her walker and stashing it in the back seat. He didn’t say anything until they were pulling from the driveway.
“Okay. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Wendy laughed. “Nothing is wrong. It just seems like we never get to spend time alone together anymore. Plus, all they eat is that fancy-ass food. Don’t get me wrong.
The cooking is always delicious, but I’m not built that way.
I want a greasy burger and bad-for-me fries.
Let’s hit a drive-thru and just eat in the car.
We can park and chat—like we used to when you were a kid, and I got paid on Fridays. ”
Lucas loved that idea. It had always been just them. His mom had given birth to him at sixteen. She had dropped out of school and worked her ass off to support him. Lucas didn’t even know who his father was. It was just them. His mom was amazing.
He pointed at an old-style restaurant where servers on skates brought food to car windows. “How about there?”
“Sounds great.” His mom sounded extra happy tonight, but something about her mood seemed forced.
He didn’t bring it up again until they had their food. “Okay. Seriously, Mom. What’s going on with you tonight?”
Wendy dropped her gaze and toyed with a broken string from a hole in the knee of her jeans. “I’ve just been overthinking. You know how I am.”
A strand of light red hair slipped from her ponytail. Lucas tucked it behind her ear. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”
She flashed him a sweet smile. “I know. This is just a little uncomfortable for me.”
That had Lucas’ anxiety spiking. A nervous chuckle escaped him. “Come on. There’s no such thing as awkward between us. I’m pretty sure we’ve talked about things that would horrify any other mother.”
Wendy laughed. “It was probably wrong of me to have such a close friendship with you your whole life. You’ve always been such an amazing kid. I never had to be one of those, ‘I’m not one of your little friends’ mom.”
Lucas chuckled. “Yeah. You’ve always been such an amazing mom. I’ve never had to act out. I always had the attention other kids wanted.”
A sad smile touched Wendy’s lips. “That’s the problem. I don’t think I’ve been that great of a mom lately. When you wanted to leave Noir’s, I should’ve stood my ground and left. I feel like I’ve been really selfish lately.”
Lucas snorted. “You don’t know how to be selfish, and I’m grown, Mom. You’re allowed to be happy and free. It’s your time to shine. You don’t need to think of me first anymore.”
It was Wendy’s turn to snort. “Parenting doesn’t end when your kids become adults. You’ll always be first.” She visibly swallowed. “Izaak kissed me.”
Lucas wasn’t surprised—like not even a little.
He had seen the way Izaak doted on her. Assigned guard or not, his attention went way beyond duty.
He prayed Noir hadn’t turned his manipulations toward his mom.
Still, Lucas nodded. He trusted his mom to see through people’s scheming.
She was the best judge of character he had ever known.
“Did you not want him to kiss you?” If she said no, Lucas was fully prepared to call her on her bullshit.
He had seen those heated looks tossed both ways.
A small smile touched Wendy’s lips and slipped away.
“It just got me to thinking. I don’t want to start anything if you don’t want to live under Noir’s roof.
It’s totally understandable for you not to want to live in another man’s house.
You are valid for wanting to stand on your own and have the privacy of your own place. ”
Lucas held her stare. “Mom. I literally died working for that man. The least he can give me is a roof.”
“You got hit by a car.” Her eyes sparkled with laughter.
Lucas shrugged. He knew he had to keep up that lie, but still. “It happened while working for him on a night he was being extra demanding. It was Christmas, for fuck’s sake. I missed that amazing marshmallow pistachio thing you always make. There’s not enough he can do to make up for that.”
Wendy gently slapped his arm as she laughed. “Stop.”
Lucas’ smile never dimmed as he watched her. She looked truly happy for the first time in Lucas’ life. He could take away her guilt. “Besides, Ajax asked me to marry him and he’s Noir’s general. He can’t leave.”
“What?” Wendy’s screeched question nearly blew out Lucas’ eardrums. “Why didn’t you say anything?
Why didn’t you lead with that? This is so, so amazing.
I’d been hoping you’d finally found the one.
The way he looks at you, sigh. You should’ve seen him when he started planning your surprise party.
He was like a kid, all excited to make you happy.
That man worships you. That’s the kind of love you don’t let get away. ”
There was no way Wendy could know how deep her words went with him. She gave him the outside insight he desperately required right when he needed it the most. “Yeah. I haven’t said yes yet.”
The look of irritation his mom gave him had him fighting back laughter. “Why not?” Her expression cleared. “Wait. He is good to you, right? I know no one can really know how someone else’s relationship is behind closed doors. Am I wrong? Does he treat you right?”