Chapter Eleven #2
The image of tears streaking down Ajax’s face floated through his mind, solidifying his emotions. “Yeah. He loves me. The proposal just caught me so off guard. It wasn’t one of those on his knee with a ring proposals. More or less, he just demanded I marry him in passing conversation.”
A bark of laughter burst from Wendy. “That doesn’t surprise me at all. He looks like a man used to always snapping his fingers and watching everyone fall in line. I suppose that’s due to his position. He can’t afford disobedience.”
Lucas nodded along. “I plan to say yes.”
Wendy clapped and squealed. She tried stealing a hug while not dumping the food from her lap.
“I’m so happy for you two. You’re so perfect together.
” She pulled away and turned serious in an instant.
“Make him squirm a little, though. Twenty-four hours a day general or not, you don’t ask someone to marry you without a ring. ”
Lucas was more than certain that happened all the time, but he appreciated her looking out for him.
He watched her happily eat her fries, and the clouds parted.
This was what he had always dreamed for them.
Lucas hadn’t dared to hope this would ever happen.
He hadn’t seen a path to watching Wendy thrive and find love while he broke free from the prison that was running drugs.
Not only had he officially gotten out, but he had found love too.
An amazing love that stood between him and the ugly life that had damn near put him in the ground.
He would say yes. Lucas couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.
The glass shook in Ajax’s hand as he tossed back his third shot.
He couldn’t recall ever feeling this close to breaking down.
His insides still quivered so badly, he felt sick.
Lucas had acted like they would move past this.
Unfortunately, his mind betrayed him. Had Lucas texted his mom and set up this dinner alone so they could run?
He hated the way he felt. Ajax didn’t know how long it would take for him to feel normal again, but Lucas immediately leaving his sight didn’t improve anything.
All Ajax could do was trust him. That meant believing he was worthy of Lucas. That would never happen.
Someone knocked on his closed bedroom door.
Ajax tossed back another shot. “Enter.”
When the door opened, he was more than a little surprised to see Noir stepping inside. Noir wasn’t the type to knock, especially in his own home.
“I heard you were back.” He tilted his head toward the open liquor and shot glass in front of Ajax. “I see you’ve decided to get trolleyed. Did things not go well?”
Ajax didn’t doubt for a second that Noir knew exactly what happened, down to every word they spoke. He played along, hoping Noir showed his hand. “I’m still not totally sure. He came home with me but immediately left with Wendy to get dinner.”
Noir moved to the couch and sat. “I’m not surprised. Wendy has been pacing the house all day, trying to find Lucas.”
That didn’t set Ajax at ease. He took another shot.
Noir cocked his head and studied Ajax. “It’s not like me to apologize, but you have me wondering if I should.”
A humorless laugh burst from Ajax. “Why? You’re not sorry.”
Noir’s cool expression never even twitched. “Of course I’m not. That doesn’t make you any less important to me.”
Unfortunately, Ajax knew that. He understood Noir like no one else did.
That likely even included his husband. Ajax had watched Noir grow up.
He knew exactly how much neglect it took to forge someone into having what it took to rule.
Noir didn’t apologize because he was a true prince through and through. Princes don’t say they’re sorry.
Ajax nodded toward the bottle. “Would you like a drink?”
Noir shook his head. “You shouldn’t have another either. When Lucas comes home, you’ll need to be on your toes.”
Defying his prince, Ajax took another shot. His throat burned as he spoke. “If he comes home.”
“Why wouldn’t he? He loves you and I’m sure he knows by now that I only meant to rile you. Not ruin your relationship.”
“Yeah. I’d like to hear the answer to that.”
Ajax’s gaze shot toward the door at Lucas’ question. He had no idea how long Lucas stood there, but he had obviously been there long enough to hear Ajax admit he wasn’t sure if Lucas would come back.
Noir stood. “My husband is waiting. I should get back to him.”
Despite everything else happening, Ajax’s chest still warmed at the way Noir and Lazarus loved each other. They were never apart and never tired of each other. Ajax wanted that too. With Lucas.
Lucas didn’t speak again until they were alone. He crossed the room and leaned against the bar. His gaze dropped to the shot glass. “Seriously. Why did you think I wouldn’t come back?” He met Ajax’s stare. His sexy as fuck amber eyes melted every wall Ajax ever possessed.
Honesty was the only answer if he wanted to keep Lucas. “If it were me, I might not have because I know myself. I’m unbending. You’ll always live under my thumb. I never faked a damn thing, but I am…” Ajax fought for the best description. “Difficult.” That was all Ajax could think to say.
Lucas’ mouth turned up in one corner. “You’re spicy. I love that about you.”
Ajax tilted his head back and blinked at the ceiling for a second, trying to recover from the sheer terror of almost losing Lucas.
Lucas fingered the sleeve of Ajax’s dress shirt. “When you roll your sleeves like this and show off your sexy forearms, that shit gets me hot as hell. In fact, the first time I saw you this way, I swore you’d be mine one day.”
Ajax met Lucas’ stare. He looked serious. Like the conversation meant something to him. “I remember you teasing me for dressing down and slumming it. Derelict of duty, I believe you called it. But that was probably at least four or five years ago.”
Lucas’ gaze never wavered. “I know. Since the day Noir brought me on at nineteen, I’ve wanted you.
But I knew I was too young, and you didn’t look at me that way.
I remember exactly when the way you look at me changed.
You rushed me here after I’d been ordered to make an example of that one guy who still stays at least one payment behind.
I was covered in blood and—for whatever reason—you panicked, rushing to get me clean.
You practically ripped the shirt off my back.
Then everything seemed to freeze. It was like a spark lit in you that finally matched the one I’d been carrying.
From then on, I couldn’t bring myself to truly settle down with anyone. No one else was you.”
Ajax saw and felt the honesty behind every word.
Maybe they had never been only friends. “That’s not when I noticed you.
In fact, there were times I had to force myself not to look your way.
You were too young. Still are, honestly.
It’s when you got serious with Jamison. That’s when I stopped caring about your age.
You should probably know all my sins now.
” Ajax took a breath. “I was the one who suggested Noir get Jamison involved. I’m the one who pointed out how useful he could be with his inside knowledge of some of our biggest clients.
You weren’t supposed to be with him. I had to make him go away. You’ve always been mine.”
To his surprise, Lucas didn’t react. He didn’t blow up or walk away.
“I know. When Noir told me to steal Jamison’s client information, I knew it was you.
You’re the only one I ever talked to about anything related to Jamison.
Very few people even knew what Jamison did back then, but you knew.
I hated his job, which was so fucking dumb since I knew we weren’t meant to be.
Still, you’re the only person I ever told. ”
Ajax had expected Lucas would be shocked. Instead, it was him. “If you knew, why didn’t you confront me? I’m the reason you two split. I ruined your relationship on purpose. That’s how greedy I am.”
Lucas held his stare, giving Ajax a clear shot of the honesty in Lucas’ every word.
“Because you’re my best friend. No matter how I felt about Jamison, I’ve never cared about anyone more than you, except for my mom.
Maybe I never would’ve acted on things if I hadn’t gotten attacked, but it’s always been you. ”
Ajax felt humbled beyond words. Truly, he didn’t know what to say.
Even after everything that had come to light today, Lucas still chose Ajax.
He didn’t deserve it. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t take it.
Like Ajax had said, he was greedy. He always took what he wanted.
This one time, though, he needed to know Lucas wanted this every bit as badly as him.
It seemed he did, and it took every ounce of strength Ajax possessed not to break down.
Since Lucas died while holding his hand, Ajax had been on such an exhausting rollercoaster of emotions.
Thankfully, his body seemed to know what to do, even with his brain finally breaking under the weight of everything.
Ajax shuffled closer and boxed Lucas in against the bar. He stared into the eyes of the man who meant everything to him. Ajax would burn the world for this. “I want to be inside you.”
Lucas’ eyebrows rose. “In.”
Ajax almost chuckled at Lucas’ immediate agreement.
Lucas hadn’t even thought about it. He just agreed, like he had been waiting for Ajax to say just that.
They hadn’t flipped roles before now. He wasn’t someone who believed in strict bedroom positions.
Ajax hadn’t pressed for this before because he absolutely loved riding Lucas’ dick.
But he needed to make love to Lucas, and Lucas was way too aggressive in the bedroom to move slowly.