Chapter 3 #2
If this is as awkward as it is for me, I can’t even imagine what he must be feeling.
I have no clue how this is supposed to go, or what I’m supposed to say.
Part of me feels like I’m interviewing for the part, like I should put my best qualities on display for this woman.
But the other part of me gets the feeling this is more of a formality than anything else, because when Lukas showed up at the firehouse the other day, it seemed like his grandma wasn’t too concerned about where he ended up, so long as he had somewhere to go.
But maybe I’m wrong.
Clearing my throat, I look at Wynona. “I’m not too sure how this is supposed to go, but I’m open to sharin’ anythin’ about myself that you’d like to know.”
“I’ve already done a little diggin’ on you, son,” she quips with a rough chuckle.
I raise my eyebrows, the corner of my mouth twitching with amusement. “Is that so? And what kinda diggin’ are we talkin’ about?”
“Asked around the firehouse about you.”
“Oh yeah?” I chuckle. “And what did they have to say? If it’s bad, let’s remember I don’t work at that station, so their facts could be misconstrued.”
“All good things, dear.” The corners of her eyes crinkle as she smiles. “How did you know my boy?”
“We went through training together,” I explain. “We didn’t keep in touch, really, but he was a great man and an excellent firefighter.”
Her eyes get misty. “Yeah, he sure was. Lived his life to the very end doing what he loved so much.”
“Was Ricky a first gen firefighter?” I ask. “Or were you or your husband firefighters too?”
“Oh, god no.” She chuckles. “Richard—God rest his soul—hated the fact that Ricky wanted to join the force. Tried talkin’ him outta it for months before he went to trainin’, but that man was a stubborn boy, my son. He knew what he wanted, and ain’t nothin’ was gonna stop him.”
“What did Richard do for a livin’?”
“He was a farmer,” she says, with a far-off look in her eyes. “Dairy farmer, to be exact. Lukas used to love spendin’ the day on the farm with his pawpaw.”
“Really?” I flit my gaze over to Lukas, the flush to his cheeks even darker now. “Well, I don’t know if you know this, bud, but my best friend—Captain Wesley’s boyfriend—is a cattle rancher. Their family owns the Moore Family Ranch in Wolf Creek.”
His eyes widen. “Really? That’s so cool.”
“Yup.” I nod. “And I bet they’d be more than happy to have you over to show you around.”
“That would be amazin’.”
“My grandson is quite the helper,” Wynona adds, pride shining through her expression.
The server comes and takes our orders before coming back with a couple of Cokes for me and Lukas, and a sweet tea for Wynona. The conversation flows easily, but by the time our food arrives, we still haven’t talked about anything important yet.
“So, Wynona, I hear you’re plannin’ to move to North Dakota soon.”
She nods. “Yes, that’s right. My sister lives there and can give me a lot more support than I have here. I’m gettin’ older, and it’s becomin’ harder to keep up with everything.”
“That’ll be nice, I’m sure. And it’s a permanent move?”
“Oh yes, dear. Once I leave Wilbur, there ain’t no comin’ back.
I told Lukas he’s welcome to join me, but he’s hellbent on stayin’ in Texas for whatever reason.
” She chuckles. “And Lord knows I ain’t got no business raisin’ another teenage boy.
Been there, done that, don’t really wanna do it again. ”
“Oh, I bet.” I smile, trying to hide my wince.
Taking Lukas in when Ricky died, I’m sure, was a lot for her, and totally unexpected, but damn.
Does she really have to express such disinterest in raising him right in front of him?
That has to be shitty to hear, especially as a teenage boy who just lost his dad.
“I don’t know if Lukas told you or not, but I don’t live in Wilbur.
I’m in Wolf Creek, but I’m pretty sure he’ll be able to stay in the same school. ”
“Yeah, I don’t doubt it,” she murmurs. “How will the livin’ arrangements work?”
“I’ve got a three-bedroom house about ten minutes from the station. Lukas will have his own room and bathroom, and while the yard isn’t very big, it is fenced.”
Wynona pushes her food around her plate. “And do you have a plan for when you’re at work?” she asks. “I’m guessin’ you work about the same as Ricky did.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I nod, my pulse racing a mile a minute and my palms growing sweaty.
“I’m on a twenty-four-forty-eight schedule.
Between my mother and my sister, I shouldn’t have any issue findin’ someone to be at my house with Lukas when I’m on shift.
But on the off chance I can’t, the house is wired with an excellent security system that I can track from my phone, and I’m only a few minutes away. ”
Seemingly okay with my plan, she nods. “And you’re sure this is a doable arrangement for you?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ve thought hard about it this week, and while I’m still not sure why Lukas picked me, I’m up for it and want to do anythin’ I can to help him out.” My throat thickens. “He may have told you already, but I was his age when I lost my dad. He was a firefighter too.”
“Oh, dear, I’m so sorry. That must’ve been so hard.” Reaching out, she places her hand over mine. “Now, I do need to be upfront with you,” she goes on. “I’m on a fixed income and can’t afford much.”
“I’m not worried about that,” I mutter, holding my hand up.
“You say that now, but have you seen how much food a teenage boy can eat?” She snorts.
“The life insurance money will take some time, but all of that gets put into a trust for when Lukas turns eighteen. He will, however, receive payments each week from the workers’ comp death benefits and monthly payments from Ricky’s pension, but both of those haven’t come in yet.
The attorney doesn’t anticipate us havin’ to wait much longer, though.
Since he’s a minor, the payments will be sent to me.
I’ll have to figure out how to send money—everythin’ is digital these days, and it’s beyond me—but once I do, I’ll make sure to send it to you to cover anythin’ Lukas may need. ”
“That’s more than fine.” I don’t know why, but talking about this in front of Lukas is wildly uncomfortable. Like, this is some sort of transaction. “I’m happy to have him stay with me, so long as it’s what he wants.”
“It is,” Lukas blurts out.
“I’ll be honest, kid. I don’t know the first thing about raisin’ a teenager, but I’m willin’ to try.”
“That’s okay. I’ll be easy, I promise.”
“I’m not worried about it, dude. We’ll figure it out as we go.” Glancing at his grandma, I ask, “When is the move takin’ place?”
“I’m leavin’ the end of next month,” she offers. “I need Lukas to help me pack and get the house ready.”
“Okay.” I nod, making a mental list of everything I’ll need to do before then. “That’ll give me plenty of time to get his room set up.” Looking to Lukas, I add, “Maybe before you move in, we can paint and get it nice and cozy for you. You can pick the color and everythin’.”
“Really?” A smile curves his lips.
“Absolutely!”
“That would be awesome.”
My chest warms at his excitement, and I find myself getting excited too. Sure, I’m terrified I’m going to fuck this up, but also… This could be really great. It could turn out to be the best thing I’ve ever done.
At least, I hope so.
The last thing I want to do is fuck this kid up even more than he already is, between a dead dad, no mom, and a grandma who is, quite literally, passing him off to a stranger because that’s how much she doesn’t want the responsibility.
Once we finish eating, and I pay the tab, Lukas and I head outside while Wynona makes a pit stop to the restroom. The sun has gone down, and there’s a slight chill in the air. Lukas’s shoulders are clear up to his ears now, his hands stuffed into his pockets, and I can tell he’s nervous.
Neither of us says anything for a moment, but eventually, he looks at me and blurts out, “I promise I love my grandma.”
The statement takes me by surprise and makes me chuckle. “I never questioned if you did or not.”
He breathes out a sigh. “I just… I can’t live with her.
And I can’t move to North Dakota. I just can’t.
I know this was a big ask of you, and I’m sure there’s tons of other things you’d rather do than live with a teenager, but…
” Lukas swallows hard before he says, “Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
“I get it, kid. I wouldn’t wanna move there either.” I snort. “And you don’t have to thank me.”
It’s not long before his grandma comes out, and we go our separate ways, but not before she lets me know that she’ll be contacting her attorney in the morning to set up a meeting to make this an official thing.
The whole drive home, I’m wondering if I’m in over my head.
I feel like I need to go to the bookstore tomorrow and buy all those parenting books you see pregnant women reading.
Consume as many of them as I can in the next month and a half, so maybe by the time he moves in, I have even an inkling of an idea about what I’m doing.
Gentry’s words come back to me from the diner earlier this week.
“Who better to take in this thirteen-year-old boy, who just lost his father in a fire, than you?”
He seemed so sure of me, and that felt…nice. Really nice.
I just hope he’s right.