Nineteen
Jilly’s nerves popped like champagne bubbles.
She forced a deep inhale, held it, and let it out. Glancing in the mirror to check her outfit, she told herself she was ready. It was just a date. With a man you’ve known and cared for forever. In a town that knows you both. Her phone buzzed and this time she recognized the “unknown caller” and pressed Dismiss immediately.
She deserved tonight. This chance with Levi. They’d be seen as a couple. This was the Smile version of a relationship hard launch, as Presley would say. Nobody would wonder after tonight.
She’d had a fairly busy day getting everything organized for Eva Hale’s team to visit the lodge this week, emailing a few other potential clients, setting up emails for returning lodge guests, and getting in touch with a student needing graduation volunteer credits to arrange having her work the front desk so Jillian could deal with paperwork and have a break from it when needed.
Tonight, she’d forget about work and everything else and just enjoy going out with Levi.
She hadn’t been on a date that she was truly excited about since Andrew at the very start of their relationship. And that was way too many years ago.
Her mom knocked on her bedroom door. Her parents had gone for a two-day trip to the mainland to look at a couple of newer RVs. Before leaving, they’d said they needed to have a family meeting, something they hadn’t done in years. It hadn’t happened yet. Jillian had a strong feeling they were going to talk about selling the house, so she didn’t mind putting the conversation off.
“You look beautiful, honey.” Her mom leaned on the doorframe.
Her own whitish-blond hair was loose around her shoulders. Between yoga and walking, her mom was fairly fit and looked younger than almost sixty. According to Edie Keller, laughter was the secret to staying young.
“Thanks, Mom.”
Jillian wore a cute black sleeveless dress. A layer of sheer overlay with soft pleats fanned out over a looser satiny slip underneath. It was, she hoped, sexy and sweet, highlighting her toned arms over her rounded belly.
She didn’t work out at the gym, but she kept herself busy enough that most of the time it wasn’t a complete chore to stay in reasonably good shape. She didn’t want to be nervous. Not about her looks. Levi obviously found her attractive or he wouldn’t kiss her like his life depended on it.
“It’s hard to believe I’m going on a date with Levi Bright.”
Her mom smiled. “He’s just a man, honey. Don’t idealize him or find a way to convince yourself you don’t deserve someone like him.”
Jillian met her mom’s gaze. “Does this mean I’ll still be giving Ollie advice at thirty?”
Her mom pushed off the doorjamb. “Probably. And unlike how it’ll be for the next several years, once she’s older, she might actually think you know a thing or two.”
Jillian laughed. “I can’t imagine that.”
Ollie was getting restless. Summer was coming, she was eager for the break, she was excited to be at the lodge, but a little worried about missing friends. She’d had a lot of freedom at the lodge the summer before but this summer was much busier and she couldn’t do all the things she wanted. Part of Jilly felt guilty about focusing on herself—taking time to explore with Levi when she could be hanging with her kid. But truthfully, her kid had a more active social life than she did.
Her phone buzzed again. When she looked at it, she frowned. Andrew kept calling. Kept leaving messages. It was like he could sense, for the first time in almost five years, she was truly ready to move on.
Her mom came over to stand in front of her so Jilly lowered her phone. Focused on what was right in front of her. “I’m proud of you. I don’t think I tell you that enough.”
An unexpected lump formed in her throat. “Thanks, Mom. What brought that on?”
Edie brushed a lock of Jilly’s hair back over her shoulder. “You’ve always been careful. Measured. I feel like your marriage and divorce made that part of you more… intense. It was like you decided if you weren’t his wife, you’d just be Ollie’s mom. And you’d be the very best one in the world. Then, Gray got the lodge and you let that into your life. But I worried that you wouldn’t let yourself have something just for you again. That you’d be too careful or cautious to take a chance on something for yourself.”
Tears burned under her eyelids. “It’s scary.”
“But you’re doing it. Which is why I’m proud of you. You can’t have what you don’t go after, sweetie. There are no guarantees, but being willing to put yourself out there, especially with some one you’ve cared about for so long, shows how strong you are. How brave.”
Jilly wrapped her arms around her mom, hugged her tight. She wanted to ask if they were selling the house but didn’t want to cry before Levi arrived, so she didn’t.
The doorbell rang. Jillian pulled back, her heart rate spiking. “I don’t feel brave.”
Her mom cupped her cheeks, kind of like Ollie used to do. “You look beautiful. You’re going out with a wonderful man. Enjoy yourself.”
“Your gentleman caller is here,” her dad said, coming down the hallway.
Jilly shook her head, gave her dad a side hug. “Are you that old?”
Her dad kissed the top of her head. “Old enough to know how to scare Levi if he hurts you.”
“Dad.”
“I won’t hurt her, sir,” Levi called from the front room.
Awesome. The date hadn’t started yet and she was blushing. “Ollie’s at her friend Christopher’s. His mom should be dropping her off around eight.” Because Ollie had argued when Jilly said seven. “You two can have a date night as well.”
Her dad laughed. “We just had a two-day date in Michigan. There’s baseball on and your mom is going to book club.”
Levi stood by the door, looking at family pictures hanging on the wall. He turned, and his expression—the light in his eyes and his smile—brightened when he looked her way.
“Hi,” she said, feeling that familiar and unavoidable warmth on her skin.
“Hi.” He held out a small bouquet of pink carnations. “These are for you.”
“You didn’t have to do that.” She took the flowers.
“What she means is thank you, Levi,” her mom said, coming up behind her. She took the flowers from Jillian. “I’ll put these in water for you. Have a good time. We’ll be fine and I’ll tell Ollie to text you goodnight, so don’t rush.”
She kissed her mom’s cheek. “Thank you.”
When they were outside, she stopped on the porch steps and looked at Levi, who stood one stair below her, bringing them close to eye level.
“Thank you. For the flowers. They’re so simple and pretty.”
He smiled, his hand cupping her cheek. “So are you.” He squeezed his eyes closed for a second then opened them. “Pretty. Not simple.”
She laughed, some of her own nerves lessening. “Thank you. You look really nice.”
He grinned at her, took her hand. “It’s been a while since I dressed for a date.” She could probably beat him on the length of that while, but he cleaned up more than nice. He wore a dark gray polo shirt, dark jeans, and his hair had been styled but still looked like it wanted to do its own thing, little strands here and there. She loved it.
When they reached his car, he opened the passenger door for her, helped her in. He was so easy to be around. “This is already fun.”
He leaned in, gave her a soft kiss. “I hope you didn’t doubt that it would be.”
She didn’t, but she hadn’t expected to feel at ease so quickly. Like she was doing exactly as she should; with the right person.
When Levi got into the vehicle, which she was pretty sure he’d borrowed from his mom, he reached over and squeezed her hand. She hadn’t thought about how much she missed the little things in a relationship. A look, a gentle kiss, holding hands. That reminder that someone wanted to be near you every bit as much as you wanted to be near them.
She was grateful he looked away before he caught the sappy gaze she knew would be in her eyes. Because even though she knew it was too much too fast, she was falling hard and didn’t know how to stop. The very least she could do was not advertise it in every look she gave him. They chatted about the lodge, their days, and he gave her the rundown on the three food trucks he was considering as they drove the short distance to the pub.
When he helped her out of the car at Brothers’ Pub her body brushed against his as she stood. With his hand on her hip, he stared down at her in a way that made her breath hitch, her stomach tighten, and her pulse scramble.
“You look gorgeous, Jilly. I like this dress.”
Her breath whooshed out of her lungs. “I like you.” She didn’t mean for it to come out all breathy, but Levi was good at stealing her breath. Then and now.
Levi didn’t mind, if the kiss he gave her was any indication.
The vibe inside Brothers’ Pub was light and fun. On both sides. It was such a strange situation; Jillian couldn’t imagine not speaking to her brothers, or not doing so while working with them.
“If you two aren’t looking to be this week’s gossip, I’d let go of her hand, Levi Bright,” Liam said, walking toward them from the bar.
His hair was longer than usual, which only meant it wasn’t shaved close to the scalp. He was stocky and tall, a former all-star football player who’d gone to university on a scholarship before coming home to open the bar with his twin brother.
He grinned, shook Levi’s hand, gave him one of the standard bro-hugs, then kissed Jilly’s cheek.
He clutched his chest with both hands when he pulled back. “I’ve been asking you out for years, Jilly. And you choose this guy?”
She laughed, looked at Levi, who was frowning adorably. She leaned into him. “Can’t explain chemistry, I guess.”
The wrinkles in Levi’s forehead smoothed and his gaze caught hers, setting off little sparklers in her chest.
Liam groaned. “Just what we need; another Keller in love. Something’s in the water at Get Lost. I’m going to have to make sure Gray doesn’t drink it.”
Levi chuckled, squeezed Jilly’s hand. “It’s good to see you, Liam. The bar business looks like it’s treating you well.” He gazed at the wall that separated the two halves. He gestured toward Leo’s half. “This is new.”
Liam’s gaze shuttered. “You do what you have to do. If you ever get the chance to go into business with family, run away. Don’t walk. Run.” Looking at Jilly, he winced. “Unless you’re the Kellers. They make it look easy.”
“They do,” Levi said, clearly confused but letting it go.
Liam smiled at Jilly, but she caught the way his gaze wandered to the partition that separated his half from Leo’s. Music from that side sounded like a low bass beat, just enough to feel but not make out the words.
Meeting Levi’s gaze again, his friend gestured to his half. “Things are great. Come on, grab a seat. I’ll send someone over to take your order.”
They walked through the space, which was more crowded than it should be due to each of the brothers squishing tables together to take their own sides. A few people waved; a couple of people Jill recognized by face but not name simply stared. Others ignored them entirely.
Near the back, past the bar, they found an empty two-top table tucked in the corner, giving the illusion of being secluded. Levi helped her with her coat, tucked it over her chair before pulling it out for her to sit.
“Thank you. You’re very good at this. Flowers, kisses, taking my coat. Would seventeen-year-old Levi have been this good on a date?”
He laughed, shed his own jacket, and sat across from her, reaching out to take her hand across the table.
“He wouldn’t have been allowed to take you to a pub, first off. And no. Probably not.”
“I’m dying to know. What would have been a typical date when you were that age?”
Before he could answer, a short-haired, tall woman with knee-high boots and several earrings in her left ear approached them. Levi leaned back, letting go of Jilly’s hand.
“Hi. Can I get you a couple drinks to start?”
Levi looked at her, waiting for her to order first. “I’ll take a glass of house red, please.”
“I’ll have the same.”
She nodded and left them alone. The song switched to something softer and more soulful and Jilly knew that if she were still writing in a diary, she’d definitely have some things to say about this moment; this night. This man.
Levi reached for her hand again, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “No one knows how to date in their teens. Usually, it was hanging out at someone’s party after a game. Maybe a dance, though I didn’t go to many of them. I think I took Meagan Salcheck to dinner and the movies when we went out in ninth. Saved for weeks to do that.” He smiled like he could picture it. “She hated the meal and felt sick from the popcorn.”
Jill laughed. “My first date was with Cody Grieggs in seventh. We held hands all the way to Pete’s, had ice cream that he paid for, and he walked me home. The next day, he told everyone Tilly Harper was his new girlfriend.”
Levi winced. “Ouch. The wonders of young love.”
She didn’t even mean to take the opening. “Have you ever been in love?”
She liked that he considered the question, took it seriously. “I think I might have thought I was with you. But you were Beckett and Gray’s sister and I was seventeen and leaving. Two years is nothing now but then, it felt wrong, even though I don’t think I’d ever wanted to kiss a girl that bad.”
Warmth infused her body like she’d sunk into a perfect bath. “And then I tried, and we know how that ended.”
He kept holding her hand. “You loved your husband, I’m assuming.”
The warmth faded at the mention of Andrew. “I did. Enough to put aside the red flags, push down the warnings, and set my own feelings aside.”
“I’m sorry.”
She smiled. “It worked out okay.”
The waitress brought their drinks, set them down. “You need a few minutes?”
“Just a few,” Levi said, smiling politely.
She nodded and went to the next table.
Jillian felt like she needed to sum it all up so it wouldn’t be a question between them. “I don’t love him anymore.”
Levi picked up his drink. “I didn’t think you’d be here with me if you still did.”
She nodded, took a quick sip of her wine. “I wouldn’t. We were over before I ended it. He’d embezzled money not only from his firm but from people we knew. People we called friends. When I found out, they all thought I knew so it was like I’d betrayed them. The life we built together started to crumble before I even knew why. Friends stopped calling, they wouldn’t get together with me and Ollie. People talked about us. They’d stop talking when we walked in a room. When it all came out, what he’d done, he didn’t try to tell the truth to any of our friends. He let them believe I’d known. That I had supported him.”
Levi’s jaw tensed, a storm brewing in his dark gaze. He swirled his wine. “If they knew you at all, really knew you, they wouldn’t have believed it. I’m sorry it hurt you. Sorry that you went through all of that. I hate it. But I’d like to think what we get through, what we find a way to get over, makes us stronger.”
Breathing a sigh of relief that she could put it all out there and not have him look at her differently, she picked up her menu.
“This date is off to a very good start,” she said, her lips twitching, her heart beating in quick flashes.
Levi picked up his menu, opened it. “Must be the company.”
After they’d ordered burgers—chicken for him and beef for her—they went back to talking, the conversation never lacking or lagging.
“Who was your second date?” Levi asked.
Jilly thought about it. “I don’t think I even remember. I went out with Kenny Hicks for two weeks in tenth grade. I don’t really have a storied history of relationships.”
“How about more recently? No dates that made you want to ask for more?” Levi asked, sipping his wine while he leaned back, gracefully relaxed.
Jilly shook her head. “Nope. I’ve been out with three men since Andrew. One started the date by asking if I minded if his friends joined us. That in itself seemed off. But when he spent the evening clearly flirting with the other guy’s date, I was just happy the night was done. Another asked if I’d mind a long-distance relationship because he was moving the next day. Which he didn’t mention prior to that. And then there was the guy who wanted to show me all the disasters he’d matched with on apps.”
Levi’s wince grew with each example. “I think I would have sworn off dating for good.”
Jilly smiled as she lifted her wineglass. “If I had, I wouldn’t be here.”
He leaned in, smiling widely. “Trust me, tonight won’t be like any of those.”
She mirrored his pose. “Trust me, it’s already the best one I’ve been on.” She figured it was wise to protect her heart a little, so she didn’t add, because it’s you.
Levi lifted his glass. “To the first of many.”
Letting their glasses touch, she took a swallow of the wine and hoped taking this leap of faith wouldn’t end poorly. It was Levi. She had to believe it wouldn’t.