Thirty-two
Jillian should have known by how hopeful she felt and how good everything was going, even with the surprises, that it couldn’t last. Because she couldn’t push the bad or worrisome things away and expect them not to surface. She knew better. The near perfection lasted for almost two whole days.
Andrew
I’m at the Best Western in Mackinaw.
Do I need to take a ferry over to your
little island or are you coming here?
Jilly stared at her screen. She needed to deal with this but she had so much to do today. Pulling up her schedule, she looked at what had to be done today and what could be pushed. Levi was heading over to the lodge to get familiar with the kitchen and meet with Shane, and then later tonight, they were all meeting up at the museum to get everything ready for the Founder’s Day celebration.
It’d seemed like such a good idea to open the week before the celebration; lots of fun activities and events for tourists. Maybe if you hadn’t offered to help with setting up for the weekend on top of surprising Pete and Gwen on top of agreeing to train a couple of high school students for summer work at the lodge on top of falling in love with Levi on top of—
“Mom,” Ollie said, hurrying in.
Jilly lowered her phone. “Hey.”
“Can I go help Uncle Beck at the bike shop this afternoon? Gramma said I can come help with the museum stuff this morning and then she’ll drop me off there.”
Ollie would be occupied. She could let her mom take care of Pete and Gwen’s surprise with her friends, head over to the mainland, and be back in a few hours.
“Yes. That works perfectly because I’m going to go to Costco and stock up for next week.”
Ollie put her hands on her hips, her lips pursing out. Her hair was tucked into a ball cap that said BECKETT’S BIKES . She wore a Get Lost Lodge T-shirt and a pair of bright blue shorts. She was adorable and quirky and Jillian’s heart actually ached with how much she loved her daughter.
“What’s wrong?”
Ollie shrugged. “Maybe I should come to Costco with you and help.”
Her kid was amazing. And deserved a father who would never let her down. Who would be there. Who should have been there for the last five years.
“No. You go do your thing and I’ll see you around dinnertime, okay?”
She walked over and, before Ollie could leave, pulled her into a tight hug. “Love you, sweet pea.”
Squeezing her back even as she set one foot out, ready to run, Ollie laughed. “Love you, too.”
And off she went. It was time to make sure Ollie’s future wasn’t something Andrew could toy with.
Jillian
I’ll meet you at Cora-Belle’s Diner at two. I’ll have groceries so you have a half hour max.
If she caught the next ferry, she could do the Costco run first, meet with Andrew, and get home. Her mom was in the kitchen chatting with her dad when Jilly walked in, her purse slung over her body, a sweater wrapped around her waist.
They stopped talking the second she walked in the room.
“Hey.” She stared at them, wondering what they’d been talking about.
“Hi, honey,” her mom said, pushing the spatula through the scrambled eggs she was making. “Want some breakfast?”
“I have to head out, actually. I’m going to the mainland. I’ll be back this afternoon.”
“Your mom and I want to talk to you and your brothers,” her dad said. He leaned on the counter next to the stove, a cup of coffee in his hand, his legs crossed at the ankles.
Her stomach cramped. She couldn’t do this right now, too. One thing at a time. Ollie came first, so that meant Andrew was at the top of the list of things to deal with.
She looked at her watch. “Can we do it tonight? I really have to go.”
Her dad’s expression shifted, a hint of disappointment crossing his features, but he gave her a small smile. “Big sale at Costco or are you hoping to grab some samples for breakfast?”
Hoping her laugh came through somewhat genuinely, she kissed both of their cheeks and headed out.
During the ferry ride over, Jillian busied herself making lists, answering emails, and responding to group chats with Presley and her brothers, one with just her brothers, and one with her family. She also texted with Levi and Lainey.
When she was sure everything was as organized as it could be, she walked to the back of the large ferry and stared out at the water as Smile faded away. The day she’d left with Andrew had been a hard one, but she’d been filled with so much love and certainty, she pushed down the sadness and focused only on him.
They’d headed straight for the airport, catching a plane to Pittsburgh, where he had a job at a prestigious loan management company. He was older and seemed so sophisticated and charming. In truth, she’d only spent a couple of weeks with him while he was vacationing on a houseboat. She’d naively thought she knew him. That she loved him. By the time they settled in his Pittsburgh bachelor pad, she already had concerns. When she got pregnant with Ollie immediately, marriage seemed like the right thing to do. Her and her stupid optimism and blinders. Never again. Not for him.
The shopping trip seemed endless because Grayson kept texting her and adding things to the list. She kept reminding herself that it was good that they were about to be so busy. Everything would be fine. With her car packed fuller than it’d ever been, trunk, back seats, and passenger seat, she found a spot to park in front of the little café she and Lainey liked to visit when they came over for the odd girls’ weekend.
The smell of bacon and eggs turned her already nervous stomach when she pulled the door open. Andrew sat in the first booth, facing the door. His smile widened and looked genuine when he saw her. Jillian clutched her purse with one hand and her keys in the other. He stood as she came to the table.
Jillian froze when he put a hand on her waist and leaned down to kiss her cheek. The familiar scent of his piney, earthy cologne was worse on her stomach than the food smells. Years ago, she’d thought it was so sexy. Now she knew, just like so many other pieces, it was a facade. He didn’t love the outdoors like he’d claimed. Didn’t love connecting with nature or small towns, hiking, swimming, or any of the things he’d said that summer.
“You’ve lost the weight you carried after Olivia was born. You look stunning.”
The keys dug into the delicate skin of her palm painfully. She moved back, slipped into the opposite side of the booth.
Like he was in a high-end restaurant with ma?tre d’s, Andrew lifted his hand to signal for the waitress. She gave him an amused glance and went back to what she was doing.
“I’m so glad you agreed to see me,” Andrew said. Jillian took in the changes that had occurred with time. His dark hair was still perfectly styled, despite being a little thinner. His sharp, angular jaw was clean shaven, of course, but there were subtle lines around his eyes, his mouth, and he looked tired. Cocky as hell but worn out.
“You didn’t leave me a lot of choice,” she said, forcing her fingers to loosen so she could set the keys and her purse down.
“Jillian,” he said, his tone nearly chiding. “I know I owe you an apology.”
She started to speak but he held up a hand. “No. I know. An apology isn’t enough. I owe you more than I could ever say.”
Surprise that he’d admit to any wrongdoing wasn’t enough to break down her walls. “You owe me nothing. I don’t want anything from you.”
Hurt flashed in his gaze but Jillian’s focus on what was best for Ollie made it easy to ignore.
“I don’t want it to be like this between us. I let you down in too many ways to count. But I’m back on my feet and I want a fresh start.”
Regardless of Levi, she felt zero desire for this man anymore. Nothing. Not even anger. But she couldn’t help being curious.
“Why now? It’s been almost five years since I came home.” Her phone buzzed in her back pocket.
“I always hated that you continued to call that place home. You never let yourself truly adapt to Pittsburgh. To my world.”
Folding her hands on the table, she leaned in, keeping her voice low. The waitress stopped by their table.
“Sorry about that. What can I get you two?”
Andrew gestured to her. She shook her head. “I’m not staying. I don’t want anything.”
Andrew gave her a patronizingly amused glance then looked at the waitress. “I’ll have your brunch special, eggs over easy, multigrain toast, and a coffee, please.”
The waitress nodded and walked away. Andrew returned his gaze to Jillian’s. She spoke before he could.
“Smile is my home. Even when I was fully immersed in your world, holding dinner parties and having brunch dates with your colleagues’ wives while taking online college courses and raising our daughter, it was my home. It’s Ollie’s home. Who, by the way, since you haven’t mentioned her once so far, is doing wonderfully. She’s an amazing, kind, wonderful little girl.” She waited, a small part of her hoping to see a softening in his features. Didn’t he want to see pictures? Know every little thing about her? Didn’t he want to know what her favorite book was? Why she hated pistachio ice cream? What she was scared of and all of the things she wanted to be when she grew up?
“So, nothing like me,” he said, laughing at his own joke.
“What do you want, Andrew?”
He reached for her hand. She snapped both of hers back, put them in her lap.
“I’ve reconnected with an old friend. Do you remember Harold Banks?” He didn’t wait for her to confirm that she did. “He’s running a fairly successful company and is considering bringing me on. It’s entry level, somewhat beneath me, but it won’t take long to move up. We’ve been chatting quite a bit. Lunches here and there. He remembers you. Fondly. Remember, we spent many evenings together with him and his wife. She liked you as well. Anyway, he started asking about us all getting together. His wife would like that, and do you want to join her book club, all that sort of thing. You know how it works. The schmoozing and mingling go along with the money-making. He hadn’t actually heard about our divorce, which worked in my favor. He’s invited us to the Hamptons for a week this month. I told him we’d love to come.”
His coffee came but the waitress said nothing as she dropped it off.
Jillian didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know this man. Maybe because she’d grown up and this Jillian wouldn’t have found one thing attractive about him. Young Jilly had been so eager for love and connection—outside her family and all the people who adored her simply for being a Keller—for someone to see past the shy girl who stood on the sidelines. Andrew had made her feel special, wanted. Needed. He didn’t like her because she was a Keller or because their families were friends. She’d mistaken his charm, intelligence, and quick wit for something he’d never possess: integrity. She’d mistaken his attraction for her as love.
Jillian grabbed her keys as she slid out of the booth and stood up. He looked up at her, confusion all over his face.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going home. If you want to see Ollie, get that lawyer. Start the paperwork. Because until I have it on paper that I’m legally obligated to share her with you, or she, herself, asks to visit with you, you won’t ever see her. I want nothing to do with you, just like you’ve wanted nothing to do with us for years. I’m not a kid anymore, Andrew. I was so worried about being seen by you, I didn’t see you. I don’t like what I see. You know my parents’ address. You can forward all communications there. I’ll be blocking you the second I get back on the ferry.”
She didn’t wait for him to respond or turn when he called her name, loudly, from his seat. She hurried to her car, got in, and pulled out of the parking spot. Pride and sadness warred inside of her. She’d done it. She’d told him what she thought, she’d stood up for herself and her daughter and taken control of her life. Ollie didn’t need Andrew. And Jilly sure as hell didn’t want him.
On the ferry ride home, she did what she promised and blocked him. Then she looked up a few lawyers just in case. She didn’t know how she would pay for it, but that was a worry for another day. By the time she pulled into her parents’ driveway, she was exhausted. Which was why she didn’t notice the For Sale sign immediately.
When she did, it actually knocked her back a step. She stared at it, her mind spinning, her heart racing. Her parents’ car was gone, the lights were out.
Getting back in the car—she needed to get stuff over to the lodge—she went to the bike shop to grab Ollie.
When she went in, Beckett was behind the counter. “Hey, Jilly. Whoa. You okay?” He came around the counter. The space had once been an auto shop, which made it a perfect fit for Beck. They’d even kept the bay door that retracted into the ceiling, and though it was currently closed, the streetlights and rising moon shone through the multi-paneled glass. The outside walls of the building had been painted a pale green while the metal around the window panels on the door were painted white. It was an amazing space with a perfect vibe for what Beckett wanted. Both of her brothers had achieved their dreams. Her parents were finding theirs. And Jilly was having a panic attack over having to move out of her childhood home at thirty. Had she thought she was the mature one of the siblings?
She shook her head, the keys jingling in her shaky hands. “I just saw the For Sale sign in Mom and Dad’s yard.”
Beckett’s lips firmed, his gaze filling with empathy. “I know. I’m sorry.”
He knew. It wouldn’t impact him. He didn’t rely on them, live with them, feel comforted by the fact that they were right there. Despite being thirty years old, she hadn’t rushed out of her parents’ home because in truth, she loved it there. She loved hanging out with them and living in her childhood home, but more than that, she loved that Ollie got so much time with them. You knew this was coming.
Tears burned her eyes. Beckett stepped closer like he might hug her. She held up her hand. “Where’s Ollie? I have stuff for the lodge. I need to get over there. Is she ready to go?”
Beckett eyed her warily, concern etched in his dark eyes. “She’s already there.”
“Oh.” Okay. That made it easier.
“She wanted to go over with Levi, so he took her for the day.”
Jilly wasn’t sure what shifted inside of her but it felt like all of the things she had carefully balanced toppled over and crashed right into her gut.
“What do you mean he took her for the day?”
Beckett’s brows lifted. “She wanted to spend the day with him at the lodge. He was excited to bring her with him. Gray was already there. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”
“Where my kid goes is a big deal to me. Levi is not her father,” Jillian said sharply, an acidy taste filling her mouth. She didn’t even recognize her own voice.
“What the hell is going on with you, Jill?”
The tears were going to fall without her permission. She couldn’t stop them and she couldn’t explain them, so instead of answering him, she walked away. She was in charge of her life. And Ollie’s. Jillian was done sitting on the sidelines just hoping that everything worked out okay. That wasn’t how life worked. Fairy tales weren’t real. She knew how to take care of herself and her daughter. No one else got to make decisions for them. Not Andrew. Not Beckett. Not even Levi.